What are your idiosyncrasies?

Just a little Samba

I have lived in Ireland almost all of my life, but neither I nor anyone in my family is Irish (well I am a citizen now but ethnically I'm not Irish).

My father is European and my mother is from Asia.

In the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper and houses would have a stand alone or spray hose bidet. As a result, growing up I always used a bidet at home (we use TP to dry off after cleaning).

This has caused me to absolutely hate using toilet paper to "wipe" my bum. To the point that I avoid having a poop out of home as much as possible.

I think it's disgusting, and when I have to use it when out I get really grossed out by it, to the point where I carry wetones in my jacket pocket as I feel just wiping still leaves you dirty.

I'm so adamant about it that I even installed a spray bidet hose in my long term GF's house so I wouldn't have to clean my bum with TP when visiting her.

I realise that I should be over it by now but I just can't normalise the whole TP thing.

So boards, what are you little idiosyncrasies?

p.s. yes, I realise it's a bit odd that's the point of the thread.

NachoBusiness

Actually now that you mention it, I did run out of bog roll one week and all I had was a pack of baby wipes to use instead.

Put a bounce in my step all day, I can tell you.

Just a little Samba

NachoBusiness wrote: »

You've convinced me. Where I can but these things you speak of.

B&Q possibly? I bought mine from Amazon though, about €20ish delivered and pretty easy to install.

Just search for spray bidet on amazon.

ThinkProgress

I like maple syrup in my coffee?

Just a little Samba

ThinkProgress wrote: »

I like maple syrup in my coffee?

That could be nice, I'll try in the morning.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I pee in sinks because I hate looking into a bowl, I dread what I might see.

[Disclaimer; this may be untrue and said purely for entertainment purposes, it might also be true]

Senna

I never understood them, so you just spray water at your hole and use your hand to clean any crap off your arse.
But its cleaner than toilet paper? I doubt your hand agrees.

Swanley

So wait there, that papery stuff beside toilets is not for eating? Like when you're sitting on the toilet, it's there for something to eat, no?

Just a little Samba

Senna wrote: »

I never understood them, so you just spray water at your hole and use your hand to clean any crap off your arse.
But its cleaner than toilet paper? I doubt your hand agrees.

Haha, no.

You spray your hole and as a result it's clean, then you just pat it dry with TP.

Because you're not "wiping" you're not smearing it all over the place so it's a really quick job. You just hover over the bowl, pop the hose under, aim for the hole and spray. The pressure is strong enough to clean the area perfectly. Then just use a little TP to dry up the area.

Now, in some countries, if there isn't a bidet then yeah you'd use your hand but that's something I'd hate even more than using TP.

Raminahobbin

Just a little Samba wrote: »

This has caused me to absolutely hate using toilet paper to "wipe" my bum. To the point that I avoid having a poop out of home as much as possible.

I think it's disgusting, and when I have to use it when out I get really grossed out by it, to the point where I carry wetones in my jacket pocket as I feel just wiping still leaves you dirty.

I'm so adamant about it that I even installed a spray bidet hose in my long term GF's house so I wouldn't have to clean my bum with TP when visiting her

I wholeheartedly agree. Except I use 3 seashells instead of toilet paper or a bidet, it works soooo much better!!

NachoBusiness

I don't like people taking my photo. I hate it unless it's for ID purposes.

The Native Americans were right. It steals a piece of your soul I tells ya.

Swanley

Thinly veiled "You're all a bunch of dirty b*stards" thread.

Just a little Samba

Swanley wrote: »

Thinly veiled "You're all a bunch of dirty b*stards" thread.

Nothing thinly veiled about it you filthy celt. :mad:

:pac:

Swanley

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Nothing thinly veiled about it you filthy celt. :mad:

:pac:

You have to pay TWO charges to take a sh*t, whereas I only have to pay ONE!!

Just a little Samba

Swanley wrote: »

You have to pay TWO charges to take a sh*t, whereas I only have to pay ONE!!

Yeah but you're using handfuls of TP, smearing ****e all over your arse cheeks and then causing hemorrhoids by creating unnecessary friction on your bunghole.

I simple use fresh clean water to sprinkle my bottom clean and then 3 or 4 squares of TP to pat dry.

Swanley

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Yeah but you're using handfuls of TP, smearing ****e all over your arse cheeks and then causing spheroids by creating unnecessary friction on your bunghole.

I simple use fresh clean water to sprinkle my bottom clean and then 3 or 4 squares of TP to pat dry.

I can make cleaning my ass sound super-easy and superior also.

Take a sh*t.
Grab some toilet paper.
Wipe.
Assess the damage.
Wipe.
Check.
Repeat, until clean.

I also just thought of a cool T-Shirt!!

Wipe.
Check.
Repeat.

Just a little Samba

Swanley wrote: »

I can make cleaning my ass sound super-easy and superior also.

Take a sh*t.
Grab some toilet paper.
Wipe.
Assess the damage.
Wipe.
Check.
Repeat, until clean.

I also just thought of a cool T-Shirt!!

Wipe.
Check.
Repeat.

Poop, spray, dry. No need to asses

ThinkProgress

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Haha, no.

You spray your hole and as a result it's clean, then you just pat it dry with TP.

But is there not a fairly 'solid' chance of splash back?

And would that brown liquid splashing on things not defeat the purpose a bit? (esp if it went on your hands?)

Then you'd have to touch the tap to wash your filthy hands, and you'd spread your brown filth onto someone else! :eek:

FishOnABike

Swanley wrote: »

So wait there, that papery stuff beside toilets is not for eating? Like when you're sitting on the toilet, it's there for something to eat, no?

No, have you ever tried eating six sheets of toilet paper in under two minutes? It's worse than the six creamcracker challenge.

Note. Disclaimer. May be dangerous or stupid or both. Do not do this at home. Author does not necessarily advocate any above described actions. Reader accepts all risk (and possible darwin awards) resulting from their own actions. ;-)

Just a little Samba

ThinkProgress wrote: »

But is there not a fairly 'solid' chance of splash back?

And would that brown liquid splashing on things not defeat the purpose a bit? (esp if it went on your hands?)

Then you'd have to touch the tap to wash your filthy hands, and you'd spread your brown filth onto someone else! :eek:

Splash back? my hands never get wet, ever. You angle the hose head, aim, spray from a few inches away and let the water work it's magic. It's not a fire hole shooting jets of water against your arsehole, it's just tap pressure like.

If you have a stand alone bidet the risk is even less. In that case your hands are nowhere near the area in question.

ThinkProgress

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Splash back? my hands never get wet, ever. You angle the hose head, aim, spray from a few inches away and let the water work it's magic. It's not a fire hole shooting jets of water against your arsehole, it's just tap pressure like.

I bet it goes EVERYWHERE... you're not even foreign, are you? Your legs are brown because you use a bidet. :P

You're probably getting micro splash back that can't be seen or felt. But it's enough...

Sorry seems kinda gross to me! (no offence)

Swanley

FishOnABike wrote: »

No, have you ever tried eating six sheets of toilet paper in under two minutes? It's worse than the six creamcracker challenge.

Note. Disclaimer. May be dangerous or stupid or both. Do not do this at home. Author does not necessarily advocate any above described actions. Reader accepts all risk (and possible darwin awards) resulting from their own actions. ;-)

I think you're all having me on!!

The sink?!? Isn't that what sinks are for?

You wet the toilet paper in the sink, roll it into little balls, and eat while on the toilet? I don't believe for one minute that I'm the only person in the world that does this!

blatantrereg

my main idiosyncrasy is that I'm really fncking weird.

Swanley

blatantrereg wrote: »

my main idiosyncrasy is being really ****ing weird.

Do you eat soaked toilet paper balls while on the toilet though?

The_Valeyard

Just a little Samba wrote: »

I have lived in Ireland almost all of my life, but neither I nor anyone in my family is Irish (well I am a citizen now but ethnically I'm not Irish).

My father is European and my mother is from Asia.

In the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper and houses would have a stand alone or spray hose bidet. As a result, growing up I always used a bidet at home (we use TP to dry off after cleaning).

This has caused me to absolutely hate using toilet paper to "wipe" my bum. To the point that I avoid having a poop out of home as much as possible.

I think it's disgusting, and when I have to use it when out I get really grossed out by it, to the point where I carry wetones in my jacket pocket as I feel just wiping still leaves you dirty.

I'm so adamant about it that I even installed a spray bidet hose in my long term GF's house so I wouldn't have to clean my bum with TP when visiting her.

I realise that I should be over it by now but I just can't normalise the whole TP thing.

So boards, what are you little idiosyncrasies?

p.s. yes, I realise it's a bit odd that's the point of the thread.

Didn't you start a thread about this last year???

Just a little Samba

ThinkProgress wrote: »

I bet it goes EVERYWHERE... you're not even foreign, are you? Your legs are brown because you use a bidet. :P

You're probably getting micro splash back that can't be seen or felt. But it's enough...

Sorry seems kinda gross to me! (no offence)

I understand why it seems weird to you, just like using TP seems weird to me. It's what you're conditioned to!

Just a little Samba

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Didn't you start a thread about this last year???

I doubt it, I've only been on boards like 11 months? I started lurking the soccer forum during the world cup for team news and starting teams and registered a few weeks after it ended.

blatantrereg

Swanley wrote: »

Do you eat soaked toilet paper balls while on the toilet though?

no.

LadyFenghuang

Too many to mention. I'm odd...eccentric...but nice!

The Corinthian

Just a little Samba wrote: »

In the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper and houses would have a stand alone or spray hose bidet. As a result, growing up I always used a bidet at home (we use TP to dry off after cleaning).

What European country does not use toilet paper? The use of bidets is far more common in many than in the UK/Ireland, but no toilet paper? WTF?

LDN_Irish

The Corinthian wrote: »

What European country does not use toilet paper? The use of bidets is far more common in many than in the UK/Ireland, but no toilet paper? WTF?

I'm guessing he means his father would use a bidet and follow up with paper. I'm also interested in where the father is from though. I once read that despite the name being French they aren't common at all in France or anywhere in Europe and are endemic in Asia where dry wiping is considered unhygienic, which explains Samba's attitude towards it.

Not fun fact: I'd only heard it said and thought it was called a B Day and was related to birthdays somehow.

The Corinthian

LDN_Irish wrote: »

I'm guessing he means his father would use a bidet and follow up with paper.

Actually he specifically said: "in the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper".

I once read that despite the name being French they aren't common at all in France or anywhere in Europe

No, for example, they're actually pretty much standard in any Italian bathroom, but so's toilet paper!

LDN_Irish

The Corinthian wrote: »

Actually he specifically said: "in the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper".

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I read that too and thought it strange but I think he was just (incorrectly) short handing "my father's European country follows up a bidet with toilet paper." But sure we only have to wait for the world to turn around to find out.

The Corinthian wrote: »

No, for example, they're actually pretty much standard in any Italian bathroom, but so's toilet paper!

Interesting, I've never been to Italy.

frozenfrozen

just dip your arse into the toilet water

Aglomerado

frozenfrozen wrote: »

just dip your arse into the toilet water

You'd need a very big bowl to dip an adult arse in.

hairyslug

Nothing I like more before a massage than to smear sh1te all over my ass,

I'm sure a spray up your hole would be quite an invigorating experience

frozenfrozen

Aglomerado wrote: »

You'd need a very big bowl to dip an adult arse in.

sit on the inside of the bowl and flush. put up the seat first

Egginacup

Just a little Samba wrote: »

I have lived in Ireland almost all of my life, but neither I nor anyone in my family is Irish (well I am a citizen now but ethnically I'm not Irish).

My father is European and my mother is from Asia.

In the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper and houses would have a stand alone or spray hose bidet. As a result, growing up I always used a bidet at home (we use TP to dry off after cleaning).

This has caused me to absolutely hate using toilet paper to "wipe" my bum. To the point that I avoid having a poop out of home as much as possible.

I think it's disgusting, and when I have to use it when out I get really grossed out by it, to the point where I carry wetones in my jacket pocket as I feel just wiping still leaves you dirty.

I'm so adamant about it that I even installed a spray bidet hose in my long term GF's house so I wouldn't have to clean my bum with TP when visiting her.

I realise that I should be over it by now but I just can't normalise the whole TP thing.

So boards, what are you little idiosyncrasies?

p.s. yes, I realise it's a bit odd that's the point of the thread.

Would you not just get a dog to lick your arse clean after you've "dropped anchor"?

Egginacup

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Haha, no.

You spray your hole and as a result it's clean, then you just pat it dry with TP.

Because you're not "wiping" you're not smearing it all over the place so it's a really quick job. You just hover over the bowl, pop the hose under, aim for the hole and spray. The pressure is strong enough to clean the area perfectly. Then just use a little TP to dry up the area.

Now, in some countries, if there isn't a bidet then yeah you'd use your hand but that's something I'd hate even more than using TP.

There I was thinking TP was talcum powder.

Just a little Samba

The Corinthian wrote: »

Actually he specifically said: "in the countries they both come from it's normal to not use toilet paper".

No, for example, they're actually pretty much standard in any Italian bathroom, but so's toilet paper!

It is normal to not use TP to clean your bum. But it's normal to use it (or a thin towel) to dry your bum after cleaning.

My father is Spanish by the way.

Just a little Samba

Egginacup wrote: »

Would you not just get a dog to lick your arse clean after you've "dropped anchor"?

fecking EU regulations banned this in the 70's. Destroying our culture.

LDN_Irish

Just a little Samba wrote: »

fecking EU regulations banned this in the 70's. Destroying our culture.

Haha. Are you a Spanish loyalist or something?

Also, I've never seen a bidet in Spain. What gives?

The Corinthian

Just a little Samba wrote: »

It is normal to not use TP to clean your bum. But it's normal to use it (or a thin towel) to dry your bum after cleaning.

My father is Spanish by the way.

News to me, although I cannot claim to be an expert in Spanish culture.

In Italy, the practice would be much like countries like Ireland, the UK or Germany; 'wipe' with TP. However, it would be common once 'wiped' to use a bidet to actually clean. Going from the toilet directly to the bidet, does not strike me as particularly, well, pleasant.

Just a little Samba

The Corinthian wrote: »

News to me, although I cannot claim to be an expert in Spanish culture.

In Italy, the practice would be much like countries like Ireland, the UK or Germany; 'wipe' with TP. However, it would be common once 'wiped' to use a bidet to actually clean. Going from the toilet directly to the bidet, does not strike me as particularly, well, pleasant.

You'd never wipe before spraying clean, it completely defeats the purpose of using the bidet at all...

Spain is such a mishmash of cultures that what's common on the south might not be common in the north or interior.
My fathers family are from the south, every home in the south would have a bidet but I can't say the same is true of the north or east or Madrid because I'm not from there but I've definitely used them while staying with friends/family all over Spain.

stmol32

Just a little Samba wrote: »

I'm so adamant about it that I even installed a spray bidet hose in my long term GF's house so I wouldn't have to clean my bum with TP when visiting her.

You must be in it with her for the long haul so :pac:

My idiosyncrasy is that I've been going commando since I was 16.
I spend ages and use loads of paper because I want to be completely clean but it's handy enough because I tend to go first thing in the morning before me shower (is that another idiosyncrasy?)

Just a little Samba

LDN_Irish wrote: »

Haha. Are you a Spanish loyalist or something?

Also, I've never seen a bidet in Spain. What gives?

It was a joke about a dog licking my bum clean. I'm not an a nothing loyalist tbh, I'm the definition of a mongrel. Half asian, half southern European living in northern Europe.

They're definitely very common in Spain (bidets, not bathroom assistant dogs).

anncoates

stmol32 wrote: »

My idiosyncrasy is that I've been going commando since I was 16.
)

Same.

Also I've OCD levels of paranoia when it comes to stuff like checking if things are unplugged when I'm leaving the house or checking if the car doors locked properly , even with central locking.

And I've a habit of having small conversations with myself and - mortifyingly - have been caught doing this from time to time.

Son Of A Vidic

The way this thread is turning out, would have brought a tear to the eye of FlutterinBantam.

Sheep Lover

How is spraying faeces all over the jacks any cleaner than using toilet roll? Ok your arse might be clean but there would be bits of sh1te shot all over the bathroom?

Day Lewin

Just to move from the bathroom to the kitchen, I have picky little preferences about what's on the table:

Can't stand scooping sugar out of a paper bag, or butter out of the greasy packet.

I ALWAYS put the sugar out into a bowl (even a pretty cup would do) and serve butter in a neat slice on a small dish - again, any little saucer would serve the purpose.

I am not fussy about napkins at all, or tablecloths, but the butter and sugar rules are compulsory.

Just a little Samba

Sheep Lover wrote: »

How is spraying faeces all over the jacks any cleaner than using toilet roll? Ok your arse might be clean but there would be bits of sh1te shot all over the bathroom?

How the hell would it get all over the bathroom? How strong do you imagine the water pressure is and what angle are you sitting at? Dear lawdy.