House mate challenges

bs2014

Hi there, I'm sharing a house and someone new has moved in over the weekend. They seem to work odd shifts but is it unreasonable of them to be showering at 4.30 and 5 in the morning which wakens me with the noise of the shower.

Batgurl

Not really. It's not that early and to be fair, unless your promising to not make a sound in the evenings when they are gone to bed, they could argue the same thing about you.

Skatedude

not unusual. so many jobs are shift work these days. i dont think any of my friends work just days anymore.
I often need a shower after a 12 hour night shift, couldnt sleep when sweaty and dirty.

bs2014

Yea but would ye not argue it is inconsiderate. I don't mind people getting up early, say 6 or late at night say 12 showering, but they could be considerate of others and shower at a more reasonable time. Just cuz they work odd hours shouldn't be to the detriment of other people.

Batgurl

bs2014 wrote: »

Yea but would ye not argue it is inconsiderate. I don't mind people getting up early, say 6 or late at night say 12 showering, but they could be considerate of others and shower at a more reasonable time. Just cuz they work odd hours shouldn't be to the detriment of other people.

Why? It's their house too. If you don't want to put up with someone else's idiosyncrasies then live alone.

One persons reasonable is another persons awkward. And it's not like they are having a full blown rave or playing the drums. It's a shower!!!

nyarlothothep

It's not unreasonable either. Some people are light sleepers/sensitive to noise. It's not unreasonable to ask if they can shower at some other time. The ratio could be this: disturbed sleep -50: slight inconvenience of showering at a different time -5. I wouldn't take the put up and shut up approach that's being advocated here. There's no harm in asking politely.

ComfortKid

I moved in to a flat once and when I told the landlord I worked shift, he warned me that I wasn't to disturb the rest of the building at unreasonable hours. 4:30am is definitely unreasonable.

NicoleW85

ComfortKid wrote:

I moved in to a flat once and when I told the landlord I worked shift, he warned me that I wasn't to disturb the rest of the building at unreasonable hours. 4:30am is definitely unreasonable.

Rowdy parties?? I doubt he meant havin a shower...

ComfortKid

NicoleW85 wrote:

Rowdy parties?? I doubt he meant havin a shower...

Anything that is loud enough to wake another house mate would be disturbing them. Some showers can be fairly loud too.

cerastes

bs2014 wrote: »

Hi there, I'm sharing a house and someone new has moved in over the weekend. They seem to work odd shifts but is it unreasonable of them to be showering at 4.30 and 5 in the morning which wakens me with the noise of the shower.

Batgurl wrote: »

Not really. It's not that early and to be fair, unless your promising to not make a sound in the evenings when they are gone to bed, they could argue the same thing about you.

OP
is it an electric shower or just running off the tank gravity fed, there is no way in hell Id tolerate someone doing that when I rented rooms, especially if its an electric shower, something like that could be heard in the next house and you'll all get the blame for that. they'd just have to make sure they worked around normal hours, and that was when I did shift work myself too. At worst Id only use the the gravity fed shower at late hours and I dont even let rooms anymore, but anything after 11pm-6.30/7am I think are hours to be considerate and quiet.
either way (electric/gravity shower) Id consider it an unreasonable disturbance at an odd hour, unfair to others, basically its inconsiderate, especially if its an electric shower, which Id think they are either a selfish moron or have not lived with others much or have no consideration even for the neighbours.
Them working shift is not your issue, although Id be considerate of them when they are sleeping, but anything considered normal activity or noise usually carried out during the day they cannot expect other people to be silenced for, 4.30 am is an ungodly unreasonable hour to be making any noise especially as they are just in the door.

Raise it with them politely, they are probably unaware of their own lack of consideration,

As for the last poster who thought what another poster considered a landlord meant by not disturbing anyone, how do you know know what they meant, Id be more inclined to think the landlord meant coming and going as they are doing shift, that landlord hardly expected them to have a party at the end of each shift, so its reasonable they to expect they meant normal comings and goings.

bs2014

Thanks guys, I agree, I mean he only moved in at the weekend and I thought it was pushing the boat on night 1 but decided to give benefit of the doubt, but after again last night (night 2), I think its worth saying politely. As one of ye said, it is unreasonable and the housemate should understand they leave for work at what (isn't a normal time). Even if he had of said when he moved in, "Oh I leave for work early and need to shower at half 4, I would have most likely said sure work away even though it is a major disturbance"
Over recent years, I have just "put up and shut up" for far too long with housemates and their irritating/unreasonable idiosyncrasies and its time a different approach was taken!

DivingDuck

This is a big issue with house-shares since a lot of people are house-sharing as they are on lower incomes, and a lot of low-paid jobs involve shift-work. Therefore, necessary human behaviour (cooking, showering, etc.) at odd hours is frequently part and parcel of the house-sharing experience. So long as this person is doing what they can to minimize the noise involved, it is in my opinion unreasonable to ask them to stop.

You can certainly let the person know that their showering is waking you and ask if there's anything they can do to keep the noise down, but you can hardly expect someone to go to work feeling unclean because otherwise they'd be disturbing you. If everyone in the house is being disturbed, then you might have a case for asking the person to find alternative accommodation, but if it's just you, then it's probably you who will need to look into finding somewhere more suitable to live.

A house-share that specifies no shift worker might be something to look into. If you really want to stay where you are, though, maybe you could see if someone else would be willing to change rooms with you for one that's further from the bathroom? If you're the only light sleeper, that might be the easiest and simplest fix.

cerastes

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks guys, I agree, I mean he only moved in at the weekend and I thought it was pushing the boat on night 1 but decided to give benefit of the doubt, but after again last night (night 2), I think its worth saying politely. As one of ye said, it is unreasonable and the housemate should understand they leave for work at what (isn't a normal time). Even if he had of said when he moved in, "Oh I leave for work early and need to shower at half 4, I would have most likely said sure work away even though it is a major disturbance"
Over recent years, I have just "put up and shut up" for far too long with housemates and their irritating/unreasonable idiosyncrasies and its time a different approach was taken!

If they need to get up at 4.30 they should shower before they go to bed, it can be nice to wake up fresh with a shower, but you'll wake up fresh if you're showered before bed and rested.
When "comfort kid" said their landlord/owner occupier? told them about not disturbing people as they did shift, that was a person/landlord setting out a good rule and was basically a good thing to do, letting people think they can make it up as they see fit and go along is a bad idea and a recipe for problems, which occurs when landlords/owner occupiers are standoff about dealing with things.

cerastes

DivingDuck wrote: »

This is a big issue with house-shares since a lot of people are house-sharing as they are on lower incomes, and a lot of low-paid jobs involve shift-work. Therefore, necessary human behaviour (cooking, showering, etc.) at odd hours is frequently part and parcel of the house-sharing experience. So long as this person is doing what they can to minimize the noise involved, it is in my opinion unreasonable to ask them to stop.

You can certainly let the person know that their showering is waking you and ask if there's anything they can do to keep the noise down, but you can hardly expect someone to go to work feeling unclean because otherwise they'd be disturbing you. If everyone in the house is being disturbed, then you might have a case for asking the person to find alternative accommodation, but if it's just you, then it's probably you who will need to look into finding somewhere more suitable to live.

A house-share that specifies no shift worker might be something to look into. If you really want to stay where you are, though, maybe you could see if someone else would be willing to change rooms with you for one that's further from the bathroom? If you're the only light sleeper, that might be the easiest and simplest fix.

Utter tosh, this person is just in the door, its ridiculous to shower or make any noise at 4.30 am, all they need to do is shower before they go to bed, if they are going to work at 4.30 then its seems like they will have at least 8 hours (likely 12) off between shifts in which to sleep and do other stuff, which means they are finished from work at 4.30pm and have loads of time to do what they need to at a reasonable hour, you think they'd shower before getting into bed after doing a shift previously.

Adamocovic

I shower the night before work but I know a lot of people who shower before work as it wakes them up.

Depends on the person but if you bring up asking them to shower at a different time to suit you don't be suprised if they have been keeping quiet about things you do that annoy them. They might see your request as an invite to ask you to stop doing things or change something you do aswell.

Just be ok with changing things to suit them if you go out and ask them to stop showering before work.

Taboola

I think you're really over reacting here. He's having a shower, not a party, not banging doors. It's not his fault the shower is noisy.

If it's really bothering you mention it to him. He might not even realise that having a shower could possibly wake you up but expect to have to return the same curtsy to him then. i.e. no showers in the evening when he's sleeping.

ghogie91

I lived in a groundfloor apartment, the pump for both our apartment and the one above was down in my hotpress.

This retired male who lived above us got up every morning and had a shower at 5.30/6 which would set the pump off going mad in our hotpress across the hall from the bedroom door. He would then proceed to walk around in shoes which sounded like they were made of cast iron.

But I didnt complain, how could you complain someones taking a shower like?

Adamocovic

ghogie91 wrote: »

But I didnt complain, how could you complain someones taking a shower like?

You'd complain more if the person never showered :pac::pac:

Maybe OPs roommate will do this as punishment! When the place starts stinking up he will be begging him to be showering at 4.30 am again :pac::pac:

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

bs2014

Just home from work and seized my opportunity to say something casually in passing. He was 100% about it all☺

ComfortKid

bs2014 wrote:

Just home from work and seized my opportunity to say something casually in passing. He was 100% about it all☺

Give us a bit more detail! What you say, what'd he say.

Mr_Muffin

I don't like when others make noise and i am trying to sleep but that's the way it is. If everyone was to bring up every annoyance they have with others then it would just be a constant argument.

Ear plugs OP.

noodler

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks guys, I agree, I mean he only moved in at the weekend and I thought it was pushing the boat on night 1 but decided to give benefit of the doubt, but after again last night (night 2), I think its worth saying politely. As one of ye said, it is unreasonable and the housemate should understand they leave for work at what (isn't a normal time). Even if he had of said when he moved in, "Oh I leave for work early and need to shower at half 4, I would have most likely said sure work away even though it is a major disturbance"
Over recent years, I have just "put up and shut up" for far too long with housemates and their irritating/unreasonable idiosyncrasies and its time a different approach was taken!

Just bear in mind more people seem to have disagreed with you here than agreed with you.

People's working hours are beyond their control and I personally find it unreasonable in the extreme to expect somebody to miss out on something as basic on a shower before or after a shift because of a housemate being sensitive to it.

cerastes

<MOD SNIP>

noodler wrote: »

Just bear in mind more people seem to have disagreed with you here than agreed with you.

People's working hours are beyond their control and I personally find it unreasonable in the extreme to expect somebody to miss out on something as basic on a shower before or after a shift because of a housemate being sensitive to it.

Its quality not quantity though, if someone said it was midnight, Id think it might be pushing it, but its 4.30 am! thats too much, is it an electric shower? The OP said they get up to do this at 4.30AM, so they have a full 12 hours prior to this to shower, most of which is when people are awake.
Little bit of consideration goes a long way or the OP could be blasting Megadeath or whitenoise at 7 till 9, because, you know, for the hell of it and you just have to put up with anything because thats what house shares entail, but it doesnt entail that at all.

BabySlam

Before you move in anywhere check the conventions for "quiet time". If you typically want the 11.30pm to 6.30am sleep, then make sure the building "rules" suit you.

mikom

bs2014 wrote: »

Just home from work and seized my opportunity to say something casually in passing. He was 100% about it all☺

I look forward to your upcoming "My housemate stinks" thread.........

athtrasna

A large number of off topic posts have been deleted. As one of the deleted posts said itself...this is not After Hours Nor is it a chat room.

Mod

bs2014

Thanks to those who have agreed with me, and to those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us. When one pays +600 a month on rent, I think such a ransom figure is only deserving of basic things like a decent nights sleep, and a clean environment where one can feel unwind after a stressful day at work/college and not tripping over other peoples mess or being put out by other peoples inconsiderateness. And yes, If circumstance allowed, I would rent my own place, but atm and for the foreseeable future, I down have €1000-€1200 a month to spend on dead money on a 1bed apartment!! Maybe if I go scrounch off the state for a council flat, that is the way forward!

athtrasna

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks to those who have agreed with me, and to those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us. When one pays +600 a month on rent, I think such a ransom figure is only deserving of basic things like a decent nights sleep, and a clean environment where one can feel unwind after a stressful day at work/college and not tripping over other peoples mess or being put out by other peoples inconsiderateness. And yes, If circumstance allowed, I would rent my own place, but atm and for the foreseeable future, I down have €1000-€1200 a month to spend on dead money on a 1bed apartment!! Maybe if I go scrounch off the state for a council flat, that is the way forward!

When you post on an open forum you will get answers you like and those you don't. These are all people who've taken the time to read and comment on your post. Being civil isn't too much to ask in return.

Mod

Batgurl

bs2014 wrote: »

To those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us.

Or we are the ones who realise that the world doesn't revolve around us and that the renting world is about give and take.

FYI I pay comparatively more rent than you and my housemate is up at 3am most mornings.

cerastes

Batgurl wrote: »

Or we are the ones who realise that the world doesn't revolve around us and that the renting world is about give and take.

FYI I pay comparatively more rent than you and my housemate is up at 3am most mornings.

Cmon, that is ridiculous, showering or making noise at 4.30 am is not on, it is completely inconsiderate and has nothing to do with the world revolving around one person.
If I was letting rooms not only would I make that clear from the start, but anyone that did it would be told to fix it or leave.
This person has the entire rest of the day between their shift to do these things.
Theres give and take and there is complete and obviously oblivious disregard for others.
OP can you please clarify if this is an electric shower or not? I think it makes a huge difference, I wouldnt even put on the washing machine (or dishwasher) after 10.30pm at the absolute latest as the noise goes through the house and Ive no doubt can be heard next door too.
Its called consideration.