House mate challenges

Volovo

I recently moved into a house share for the first time, and since then have popped into the Accommodation and Property forum regularly. Threads like this give me a great boost in self-confidence, reminding me that I am a very reasonable, decent person that is easy to get along with! :pac:

I am an incredibly light sleeper, have a room next to the only bathroom and live with a midwife who works all hours. Everytime the toilet flushes I would wake up. But I wear ear plugs and I'm happy! I could never do the job of a nurse or midwife. And I would hate to have such early mornings (I stroll to work at 10am). I'm not going to make a rule that deprives my housemate of a shower before work!

My bedroom is right next to the bathroom and was in my previous houseshare too and I find the shower awful annoying in the mornings. I don't get up until almost 9 so people have showers at 7am even would be waking me up early.

Thankfully the current housemates shower at night (as I do myself as I hate morning showers) so at least I sleep most mornings, though even people using the bathroom in the mornings wakes me sometimes.

I had a housemate who was starting work in the middle of the night before also and thankfully he almost always showed the night before as the odd time he did at 3am it woke me everytime and it was awful annoying. I think having a shower at 4:30 am is totally unreasonable, like what's the difference between banging doors and playing loud music and waking the house and having a shower and waking the house. Both mean lost sleep.

DivingDuck

cerastes wrote: »

Megadeath or whitenoise at 7 till 9, because, you know, for the hell of it and you just have to put up with anything because thats what house shares entail, but it doesnt entail that at all.

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

I think having a shower at 4:30 am is totally unreasonable, like what's the difference between banging doors and playing loud music and waking the house and having a shower and waking the house. Both mean lost sleep.

There is a huge difference between these things in my view. Nobody needs to play loud music. You can listen to it via earphones, or at a socially acceptable level over speakers. There are choices.

However, washing yourself is a basic human necessity in modern society, and this housemate might have no choice but to wash themselves at this time. I prefer to shower at night, but many people sweat while sleeping and need to shower in the morning in order to feel and look clean for the coming day. If this person is coming off work in the middle of the night, they might be dirty from the job and need to clean off before getting into bed or be in the position of needing to change their sheets on a daily basis. Unlike playing loud music, cleaning your body isn't something that always gives you a lot of choices about when and how it has to happen.

I don't believe that anyone should have to put up and shut up with unnecessary disruptive behaviour in a house-share, but I do believe that you have to make allowances for the necessities of other people's lives.

Del2005

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

My bedroom is right next to the bathroom and was in my previous houseshare too and I find the shower awful annoying in the mornings. I don't get up until almost 9 so people have showers at 7am even would be waking me up early.

Thankfully the current housemates shower at night (as I do myself as I hate morning showers) so at least I sleep most mornings, though even people using the bathroom in the mornings wakes me sometimes.

I had a housemate who was starting work in the middle of the night before also and thankfully he almost always showed the night before as the odd time he did at 3am it woke me everytime and it was awful annoying. I think having a shower at 4:30 am is totally unreasonable, like what's the difference between banging doors and playing loud music and waking the house and having a shower and waking the house. Both mean lost sleep.

Some jobs facing customers require people to be clean shaven and presentable so showering the night before won't work for some.

ted1

ComfortKid wrote: »

I moved in to a flat once and when I told the landlord I worked shift, he warned me that I wasn't to disturb the rest of the building at unreasonable hours. 4:30am is definitely unreasonable.

No it's not. The. Hap is getting up for work. He is not suffering from insomnia and having a shower for the sake of it.

ted1

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks to those who have agreed with me, and to those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us. When one pays +600 a month on rent, I think such a ransom figure is only deserving of basic things like a decent nights sleep, and a clean environment where one can feel unwind after a stressful day at work/college and not tripping over other peoples mess or being put out by other peoples inconsiderateness. And yes, If circumstance allowed, I would rent my own place, but atm and for the foreseeable future, I down have €1000-€1200 a month to spend on dead money on a 1bed apartment!! Maybe if I go scrounch off the state for a council flat, that is the way forward!

Sorry your the miserable one. People work shift, that's life. Not everyone confirms to the same 9 to 5. I'm sure he goes to bed early and you disturb him

the_syco

In this weather, it's pointless showering before going to bed, imo.

ComfortKid wrote: »

Anything that is loud enough to wake another house mate would be disturbing them. Some showers can be fairly loud too.

OP, is your issue is with the shower? Or perhaps in the next place you rent, don't pick the room next to the bathroom?

Alf Veedersane

There's a reason most people shower at the start of their day.

I don't think it's unreasonable to have a shower at that hour of the morning - it's person's right to shower at the start of their dsay - and perhaps they didn't realise it was waking anyone either.

But it's also not unreasonable to have a word with them about it and see if a compromise can be reached.

Similarly, the OP could reasonably be expected to make less noise in the evening.

the_syco

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Similarly, the OP could reasonably be expected to make less noise in the evening.

I wonder what the OP's reaction shall be when he gets asked to make less noise in the evening?

RedXIV

Surely a reasonable compromise for this was simply ear plugs? Who would be inconvenienced more? The guy asked not to shower or the OP to wear earplugs so they aren't disturbed.

God help you when you've kids OP, they are totally unreasonable at 4.30am too

IRE60

I had a place in town - all the apts were fitted with those Mitre showers - pumps the water like a negative head. They are good but make a God awful noise and vibrate really.

The apts were built in the mid 90's and were of a decent standard - but just about. The apt adjoining mine was very quiet until they got new tenants - and it was actually in a different block - so I never saw them.

The shower was the offender - on. off, on, off, no, off..... all night.

I couldn't figure it out - anyway after about 6 weeks they got new tenants - no more problems.

So the moral of the yarn is: if you live adjacent to a 'pop-up knocking shop' - them you have shower problems!!!!!

I worked I the 90's any-time until 2am or 3am - when I got home I ate, showered, watched TV etc- I lived by myself, but I'm sure my neighbours heard the late night comings and goings - but still, I worked those hours, was respectful to my neighbours and don't apologise for working those hours.

9 to 5 is dead - we have to accept that.

The Diabolical Monocle

Your 7pm is their 4:30am.
Its all relative to peoples sleeping hours.

You wouldn't say there's anything unreasonable about a shower at 7pm. When he's sleeping.

So no there's nothing unreasonable about his 4:30 shower. When you're sleeping.

It might be annoying but if you deserve silence then be prepared to not shower after work yourself.

That or get a new housemate.

Saaron

Get earplugs.

Flippyfloppy

Sure tell him to have his breakfast & get dressed for work before bed too!

Chemical Byrne

I totally get that sharing a house requires everyone to be considerate of others. But come on, having a shower and flushing a toilet are hardly unreasonable behaviour.

You cannot expect everyone else to be going around on their tippy toes just because one person is a light sleeper - being a light sleeper is their problem.

Personally I have housemates who get up at like 5.30 and, i presume, shower and walk around on timber floors. I'm dead to the world though cos I'm a heavy sleeper.

Irishcrx

It's part and parcel of living in a house share. If you can't deal with these little thing's then get a one bedroom studio for yourself.

I don't think the lad is being unreasonable if he works odd hours and wants to have a shower before/after work then he's entitled to do that. Get earplugs if it's bothering you.

It's not like he's up drinking playing music at all hours , he's having a bloody shower.

Wanderer78

id have to agree with others here, part and parcel im afraid. theyre working shifts, thats it. theyre gonna be coming and going at really odd times but i do feel for you op. im a light sleeper myself. very annoying. best of luck with it. ear plugs might be the answer for you

Del2005

Del2005 wrote: »

Some jobs facing customers require people to be clean shaven and presentable so showering the night before won't work for some.

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

Wanderer78

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

id have to agree to most of this but strangely enough some work places do demand people to be cleaned dressed etc. i know people that do these jobs and that have done them. doesnt sound like an environment id like to work in but thats life.

Adamocovic

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

For some people yes. Other people prefer mornings for various reasons. I know people who can suffer from night sweats, no doubt they'd rather have a shower in the morning before work, also the obvious thing that some people prefer it in the morning as they feel more awake and fresh for work.

I normally shower at night but if I wake up and feel I'm half asleep and really tired I will jump into the shower for a few minutes and it does the trick. (Don't reply with coffee to that :P)

I really don't understand some peoples views on this. Like he's just having a shower before going to work. I feel sorry enough for the lad having to work those hours rather than the people complaining that it wakes them up. He's not doing anything wrong, it's not rude or anything, get some ear plugs if youre a light sleeper.

But go ahead and give out to him, the mad lunatic having too many showers and damaging his skin, crazy guy by the sounds of it! Housemate from hell! :pac::pac:

Irishcrx

Adamocovic wrote: »

For some people yes. Other people prefer mornings for various reasons. I know people who can suffer from night sweats, no doubt they'd rather have a shower in the morning before work, also the obvious thing that some people prefer it in the morning as they feel more awake and fresh for work.

I normally shower at night but if I wake up and feel I'm half asleep and really tired I will jump into the shower for a few minutes and it does the trick. (Don't reply with coffee to that :P)

I really don't understand some peoples views on this. Like he's just having a shower before going to work. I feel sorry enough for the lad having to work those hours rather than the people complaining that it wakes them up. He's not doing anything wrong, it's not rude or anything, get some ear plugs if youre a light sleeper.

But go ahead and give out to him, the mad lunatic having too many showers and damaging his skin, crazy guy by the sounds of it! Housemate from hell! :pac::pac:

Fair point , I suffer from nightsweats and have to shower in the morning , night before is no use to me at all.

I think the advice generally here is to buy ear plugs , I woulnd't approach him about when he showers, if you did that to me I'd politely tell you to feck off and get ear plugs.

_Kaiser_

Out of curiosity, where would people draw the line on "reasonable"/fair then?

I recently moved and now have a bit of a commute in the morning (not a deal breaker at all as I have a bigger/nicer place for less money in return), but the water pump in the place is shyte - when running a tap or flushing a toilet it cuts in/out leaving to uneven water flow, but runs steadily with hot water. I let the Agency know who sent out a plumber but to be honest the 2 lads that showed up weren't exactly impressive, tinkered with it for 40 mins, and a day later it was back at the same thing.. I haven't bothered calling the Agency again because it's more an inconvenience than anything.

But because this pump is also fairly noisy, it means I've been showering at night so as not to wake others in the apartment block when I'm getting ready at 6am (it's the usual "high quality" noise insulation where you can hear people walking around/flushing their own toilet etc). Problem is that I'm not a morning person at all and the morning shower helps me wake up before my 45-60 min drive - so what I've been doing this week is using my flexible start time to drive in to the office a bit later and have my shower when I get up - but then I have the heavier traffic to deal with!

The fella above me seems to crawl out of the bed at 7 by the sounds of it, but are 6am showers where pump noise might travel in the outer commuter belt reasonable?

cerastes

The new guy is last in the door, Id be expecting him to conform to the existing rules and not disrupting the current set up.
Where people get along and there arent problems, Id be stating this before someone moved in so they are clear.
Once one person starts doing stuff that is not considerate of others then everyone else can start thinking why the hell am I bothering and then it can all go to pot.
First person in or leaseholder or owner occupier has to lay down the rules and people stick to it,
It still hasnt been established whether or not its an elctric shower, if that was the case, that noise could easily go through the walls to surrounding houses.
Taking a piss or dump is a completely different thing, no one wants to wake up to find a brown trout in the bowl, you cant plan ahead for that, showering at 4.30 am equals quit or marching orders as far as Im concerned.
They easily have all the previous evening to do it, anything further they should freshen up with a flannel in a sink of water, how bad can they be sweating in the night? lose the duvet maybe or turn off the heating.

Taboola

cerastes wrote: »

The new guy is last in the door, Id be expecting him to conform to the existing rules and not disrupting the current set up.
Where people get along and there arent problems, Id be stating this before someone moved in so they are clear.
Once one person starts doing stuff that is not considerate of others then everyone else can start thinking why the hell am I bothering and then it can all go to pot.
First person in or leaseholder or owner occupier has to lay down the rules and people stick to it,
It still hasnt been established whether or not its an elctric shower, if that was the case, that noise could easily go through the walls to surrounding houses.
Taking a piss or dump is a completely different thing, no one wants to wake up to find a brown trout in the bowl, you cant plan ahead for that, showering at 4.30 am equals quit or marching orders as far as Im concerned.
They easily have all the previous evening to do it, anything further they should freshen up with a flannel in a sink of water, how bad can they be sweating in the night? lose the duvet maybe or turn off the heating.

God I'd hate to live with you.

It's called a house SHARE.

the_syco

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

Or you're sweating like a pig on shrooms at night (even with the window open, sleeping butt naked) due to humidity. Which during this weather, a lot of people probably are.

May your next housemate be called Father Stone :pac:

tolosenc

Adamocovic wrote: »

For some people yes. Other people prefer mornings for various reasons. I know people who can suffer from night sweats, no doubt they'd rather have a shower in the morning before work, also the obvious thing that some people prefer it in the morning as they feel more awake and fresh for work.

Key word here is "prefer".

He prefers to shower after waking, but this is inconvenient to his housemate. He can shower before bed (~9pm) and this does not inconvenience his housemate.

Maybe it's just me (and using the evidence of my housemate it might just be that) but when sharing an apartment with someone, you have an obligation to them to be of as little interference to them as possible (e.g. cleaning dishes once you've finished using them rather than leaving your housemate with no clean bowl for his meal). It doesn't appear that the housemate has asked permission in this case. It's inconsiderate not to ask. Poor form by the housemate.

the_syco

I'm surprised that him working shift-work didn't come up before he moved in, or did the landlord pick him?

John_Rambo

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

Different folks, different strokes. I'd rather a clean housemate that showered than a smelly one that had bad personal hygiene.

I lived in a small townhouse in Dublin city, there was two of us (not partners).

City people are very active compared to rural people or people that live your type of lifestyle. We have busy lives. There's a good bit of cycling, walking, running for buses, traveling on public transport (in the winter even you'd want to shower after a long bus/dart/luas ride) and evening time fitness activities, training or sedentary activities that don't involve sitting in a car. It still means walking to the public transport stops/depots.

This meant, for me and my housemate who was a hairdresser (hairs, chemicals etc...) that we took at least two or three showers a day each. So... whenever someone took a shower, it was appreciated and it certainly wasn't an annoyance. I guess the only bad/good thing about it was that every now and then, one of us got an eyeful of each other in the nip running from shower to bedroom!! Boobs and Balls! Always a good laugh...

This meant of course lots of washing too, so we had a unwritten rule to hang each others clothes on the line when the other was out... no matter what it was.


Deal.

Adamocovic

tolosenc wrote: »

Key word here is "prefer".

He prefers to shower after waking, but this is inconvenient to his housemate. He can shower before bed (~9pm) and this does not inconvenience his housemate.

Maybe it's just me (and using the evidence of my housemate it might just be that) but when sharing an apartment with someone, you have an obligation to them to be of as little interference to them as possible (e.g. cleaning dishes once you've finished using them rather than leaving your housemate with no clean bowl for his meal). It doesn't appear that the housemate has asked permission in this case. It's inconsiderate not to ask. Poor form by the housemate.

And is it not an interfererence to tell him when he can and cannot shower for work?

Hasn't asked permission to take a shower? That's a new one to me.

Fair enough complain or bring it up if he leaves the dishes dirty, smokes around the house without asking, never cleans, eats your food, plays music loud or tv loud at all hours, comes in late absolutely pissed and causes lots of noise to wake you up, brings over house guests for a massive party without asking. Yes there all things people deal with and is understandable to get annoyed and complain..but the time he takes a shower..that just baffles me, if someone is a light sleeper and shower wakes them up they should just sleep with earplugs.

Finally OP and other people keep bringing up about being considerate about other housemates and that but doesn't seem to be considerate about the one in question. Fine him showering before work is inconvenient for you as you wake up, asking him to stop showering before work is inconvenient for him as he wants to go in fresh to work.

Trust me complaining about him showering before work is going to open a can of worms of housemates complaining about the littliest of things. Out of curiosity how many people share the house OP?

Antarctica

bs2014 wrote: »

Yea but would ye not argue it is inconsiderate. I don't mind people getting up early, say 6 or late at night say 12 showering, but they could be considerate of others and shower at a more reasonable time. Just cuz they work odd hours shouldn't be to the detriment of other people.

Not that odd an hour, they could be starting at 6am, cafes could be open, or maybe they like to start work early and leave early to beat the chronic traffic which all the other "normal people" are in.