Did you ever walk in on someone having a ****?

bajer101

As the topic says - Did you ever walk in on someone having a ****? I recently did. We both just ignored the situation and I dashed out to make a cuppa, and when I came back in we acted as if it never happened. Maybe there is an unwritten code amongst guys that I was previously unaware of - "If you ever catch someone having a pedal, you just ignore it". If there isn't such a code, we should implement one immediately. It would have saved that three seconds of hell and the further thoughts of "there but for the grace of god!).

(And no, I wasn't the wanker!)

Sheep Lover

I find asking "need a hand?" usually diffuses the situation.

micar

Shared a room with someone in college
college. Single beds. Woke up a few times to hear him ****.

As an aside, never knew him to have a shower and my god the smelly socks.

Disgusting filthy git

Specialun

Wtf

The Dogs Bollix

Kind of

I had a laptop but for years it was the only computer in the house. My brother used to borrow it.

He was drunk and was using it in his room. Gave him loads of time. Went up to his room, knocked and no answer and knocked again and no answer. Presumed he was asleep after drink like he always was after drinking, so walked in. After all if he was doing anything he would have said something. Walked in to find he was fast asleep, I was right about that. The laptop on the bed and his willy hanging out.

It gives me the shudders to think what ended up on that laptop and I don't mean biscuit crumbs.

I got a new one since. A new laptop. Not a new brother.

Cienciano

micar wrote: »

Shared a room with someone in college
college. Single beds. Woke up a few times to hear him ****.

As an aside, never knew him to have a shower and my god the smelly socks.

Disgusting filthy git

Jesus, 1999!

keith16

bajer101 wrote: »

As the topic says - Did you ever walk in on someone having a ****?

Thanks for qualifying the thread like that, I honestly wasn't sure what the thread was going to be about before I clicked in.

lickme

Have "two friends" who were out on the lash together with a group and have been friends since childhood. This friend is a bit of a perv and a bit odd with the ladies, like a stalker type. Went back to his and had a few beers and then says he got a new porno. I actually feel uncomfortable watching porn with other people. He then proceeds to take his mickey out and start fapping away in front of me. I asked him wtf are you doing and he said, "sure what like? Is porn what do you expect me to do?" I got up and left straight away, half scarred and wondering what the hell i say to him next time I saw him. I said it to other friends who were in the horrors laughing. One of them said it to him and he was mortified and blamed the booze and couldn't remember. He wasn't that drunk but I said he was scuttered just to save him a little grace. I think he expected me to start fapping with him or something.

bajer101

You were dealing with an habitual wanker there. The smelly socks were the giveaway. I'd wager you could have used them to hammer in nails.

razorblunt

No but I've wanked in on someone having a walk.

bajer101

keith16 wrote: »

Thanks for qualifying the thread like that, I honestly wasn't sure what the thread was going to be about before I clicked in.

Haha! I did pause before I wrote the introductory line in the post thinking that it was just repetition. But then I thought, "it's After Hours".

Bongalongherb

Well, believe it or not. A long while back, I was sitting at the computer reading up on electronic transmitters, and I was thinking of modulation, so instead of me googling it I burst into the sitting room to ask the oleman what it's true meaning is.

At this time of curiosity and the need to know what modulation meant ? immediately. I saw him on the sofa jerking off and he glanced at me and started to slap his dick saying... stupid thing... stupid thing. So after the jaw-dropping shock of encountering this odd reality, I shut the door and went onto google to find the answer while the clear memory of what just happened was still visually clear in my mind.

We never spoke about it again.

Mint Aero

Da fuq??! Are you sharing a room with guy??! You walked out, got some tea and then went back for another look or what??! If yer sharing, maybe he wants you to see? Ye should probably **** together anyway, save on clean up if you can shoot in him too .

LaVail

I like how you "dashed out to make a cuppa". In fairness if tea doesn't clear the mind after seeing someone ****, nothing will.

threeball

Doing work in a house with 3 other fellas, mainly working in one part but having to travel around to different rooms to check things. Two of the lads walk into the living room adjacent to another tv room and there is the son of the owner choking the chicken to what appeared to be some wrestler dude on the box. He didn't even break stride and the two lads made a hasty retreat.

YFlyer

lickme wrote: »

Have "two friends" who were out on the lash together with a group and have been friends since childhood. This friend is a bit of a perv and a bit odd with the ladies, like a stalker type. Went back to his and had a few beers and then says he got a new porno. I actually feel uncomfortable watching porn with other people. He then proceeds to take his mickey out and start fapping away in front of me. I asked him wtf are you doing and he said, "sure what like? Is porn what do you expect me to do?" I got up and left straight away, half scarred and wondering what the hell i say to him next time I saw him. I said it to other friends who were in the horrors laughing. One of them said it to him and he was mortified and blamed the booze and couldn't remember. He wasn't that drunk but I said he was scuttered just to save him a little grace. I think he expected me to start fapping with him or something.

You're some friend for telling others.

retro:electro

My friend once told me he was watching porn on his laptop with his headphones on and volume up full blast. It was only after he'd finished he realised the headphones weren't actually plugged into the port... His whole family were in the next room.

K4t

anna080 wrote: »

My friend once told me he was watching porn on his laptop with his headphones on and volume up full blast. It was only after he'd finished he realised the headphones weren't actually plugged into the port... His whole family were in the next room.

A wanker's worst nightmare.

HardenendMan

A lot of "My friend" stories on this topic :pac:

I was a supervisor in a retail shop. We had an employee that was a greasy smelly pervy type. Not a hard worker either.

I suspected he was skiving off one evening....went up to the stock room...there he was in the corner with FHM...he blew his load just as I rounded the corner.

His immediate words; "Jaysus can I have some privacy please!"....eh you're on the clock bud.

uch

Caught a youngfella in a place I worked years ago, we had an adult library (it was a garage) but he'd disappear at about 2.15 every day after lunch with one of the books, and arrive back 20 mins later looking exhausted, so one of the lads watched him and snuck up to the window and stuck his head in, and the cnut had just jizzed, he was mortified and we gave him stick for months, met him years later and he still talks about getting caught pulling his wire.
The fella who caught him has since said he had a mickey like a fence post, so it must have been hard work

efb

Usually offer a reach around

Samaris

I was once collecting data (in my teens) for a project out in the wilds and it turned out this scenic area was..er..popular for those interested in more than just admiring the landscape.

So there was I with my GPS in hand, tracking this path, and I nearly walked over this bloke lying just off to the side having a romantic date with Rosie. It was waaay too late to retreat and not much he could do about it either. He nodded to me briefly and said "Howya", to which I replied "Howya" with commendable poise if I do say so myself and went on my faintly bewildered way.

uch

semionova

lol

NachoBusiness

K4t wrote: »

A wanker's worst nightmare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s66qLdS5ZM

threeball

skittles8710

Ya, my dad. Satellite nudey channels. Traumatising.

retro:electro

I think if I caught my father having one I would die. You think walking in in your parents having sex is the most cringe thing that could happen but I think the former is decidedly worse

skittles8710

anna080 wrote: »

I think if I caught my father having one I would die.

I almost did tbf.

anto9

Walked in on two old men **** each other off ,at the urinals ,in a mens public toilet in down town Sanfransisco .Made a hasty retreat.

El Weirdo

lickme wrote: »

Have "two friends" who were out on the lash together with a group and have been friends since childhood. This friend is a bit of a perv and a bit odd with the ladies, like a stalker type. Went back to his and had a few beers and then says he got a new porno. I actually feel uncomfortable watching porn with other people. He then proceeds to take his mickey out and start fapping away in front of me. I asked him wtf are you doing and he said, "sure what like? Is porn what do you expect me to do?" I got up and left straight away, half scarred and wondering what the hell i say to him next time I saw him. I said it to other friends who were in the horrors laughing. One of them said it to him and he was mortified and blamed the booze and couldn't remember. He wasn't that drunk but I said he was scuttered just to save him a little grace. I think he expected me to start fapping with him or something.

Thread is about walking in on someone having a ****, not walking out.

Intensive Care Bear

Years ago my housemate walked into the sitting room just as i was about to cum into an empty McFlurry container (my missus had been giving me a blowjob and for reason she thought this was a good place to finish off) I had to do a superman dive across the room and slam the door in his face.

2 stroke

Absolutly amazing how the world can change in a few years. As a teenager, we swam naked in the local river, if someone got their hands on a dirty mag, we stuck the pages together. At college, we had a video player in our gaff, some of the lads might have girls around, the rest of us did what men had to do. When we started driving, we screwed girls in our cars, down the lane beside the local river. Sometimes 2 couples in the same car.
Nowadays, lads get embarrassed if they have a tent in their trousers in public, and they can't go swimming without baggy trunks and they watch porn in secret .
For gawds sake, men get erections and have to deal with them.

Vote 4 Pedro

I lived with foster parents for a while when i was young and they were a little odd to say the least.

He was around 55 ish and he use to sleep down stairs in an arm chair all the time and me having to get up early one morning for something like a school trip I walked into the living room and he was sat there fast asleep, he was sat upright in the chair with his pants around his ankles with his lad out and the two collie dogs licking his dick and the jizz. I swear this is true on my life...

She worked nights in a nursing home and she was a real bitch, when she got home in the morning she would go upstairs and get changed into her dressing gown and sit in the front room watching telly and she would sort of lean over a bit on the arm rest...then as she got more tired she would lie down and the dressing gown would rise up a bit as she tried to get comfy, she would have nothing on down there....what a sight, the black hole and hair everywhere,

I think it scared me for life.
Still gives me shivers down my spine to think of it 40 years later.

Youngblood.III

2 stroke wrote: »

Absolutly amazing how the world can change in a few years. As a teenager, we swam naked in the local river, if someone got their hands on a dirty mag, we stuck the pages together. At college, we had a video player in our gaff, some of the lads might have girls around, the rest of us did what men had to do. When we started driving, we screwed girls in our cars, down the lane beside the local river. Sometimes 2 couples in the same car.
Nowadays, lads get embarrassed if they have a tent in their trousers in public, and they can't go swimming without baggy trunks and they watch porn in secret .
For gawds sake, men get erections and have to deal with them.

Are you from Cavan?

2 stroke

Youngblood.III wrote: »

Are you from Cavan?

No. Why Cavan?

Youngblood.III

2 stroke wrote: »

No. Why Cavan?

Sounds like you are...strange ideas up that way.

michellie

I think I did, I was in work at the time in a hospital and walked into the office and I swear he was. I didn't see anything but he nearly had a heart attack when I opened the door and he went bright red.

Ansum

Was he the doctor or the patient?

Friend of mine walked in on a fellow masturbating over another guy...who was sound asleep on a couch after a night of drink.

syklops

lickme wrote: »

Have "two friends" who were out on the lash together with a group and have been friends since childhood. This friend is a bit of a perv and a bit odd with the ladies, like a stalker type. Went back to his and had a few beers and then says he got a new porno. I actually feel uncomfortable watching porn with other people. He then proceeds to take his mickey out and start fapping away in front of me. I asked him wtf are you doing and he said, "sure what like? Is porn what do you expect me to do?" I got up and left straight away, half scarred and wondering what the hell i say to him next time I saw him. I said it to other friends who were in the horrors laughing. One of them said it to him and he was mortified and blamed the booze and couldn't remember. He wasn't that drunk but I said he was scuttered just to save him a little grace. I think he expected me to start fapping with him or something.

Someone probably bet me to it, but I dont suppose he now works as a DJ in Cork?

SouthTippBass

Was caught myself before, sure what can you do except laugh it off? Knock next time ****ers!

suicide_circus

2 stroke wrote: »

Absolutly amazing how the world can change in a few years. As a teenager, we swam naked in the local river, if someone got their hands on a dirty mag, we stuck the pages together. At college, we had a video player in our gaff, some of the lads might have girls around, the rest of us did what men had to do. When we started driving, we screwed girls in our cars, down the lane beside the local river. Sometimes 2 couples in the same car.
Nowadays, lads get embarrassed if they have a tent in their trousers in public, and they can't go swimming without baggy trunks and they watch porn in secret .
For gawds sake, men get erections and have to deal with them.

Apt username

michellie

Ansum wrote: »

Was he the doctor or the patient?

Doctor I was working for.

cloud493

Yeah in the bathroom. Why the **** he didn't lock the door is beyond me, but whatever.

Youngblood.III

Or ****'n'walk......



.......hole in pocket

Ansum

Michellie: Doctor I was working for.

I bet I can guess his sector. Gynecologist. Because other than that, I don't know what the other sectors have to stroke about.

michellie

Ansum wrote: »

Michellie: Doctor I was working for.

I bet I can guess his sector. Gynecologist. Because other than that, I don't know what the other sectors have to stroke about.

Nope it wasn't.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Just to keep the gender balance right ,did any of ye ever walk in on a ladywank?

And what did you do?

Tom Dunne

This thread reminds me of wise words once spoken:

What's the most sensitive part of your body while ****?

Your ears.

Drakares

No but my ould one found my **** sock..

When she realized what it was she dropped it to the ground where it shattered to a thousand pieces.