Is being invited to a wedding afters like an insult these days?

paulbok

Aside from say work colleagues or teammates, where there are too big of numbers to invite all to the full day and you don't know them that well, I wouldn't see the point nowadays of having evening invites.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I think evening invites are probably a dying tradition nowadays, confined to work mates and cousins in very large extended families.

To be honest, I hate most modern weddings. Long boring days with endless hanging around while hundreds of photographs are taken; money being thrown around on fireworks, chair coverings, sweet stalls etc while corners are cut on the food and drinks, including decent canapés and wine while waiting around for 6 million photos to be taken; demands for cash presents; events that go on for three days oblivious to the fact that for many guests your wedding is not the 'event of the year.

Guests nowadays seem to be treated like accessories who should be happy to travel to Prague for the hen night; take two days off work for the wedding and two nights' accommodation in an expensive hotel; and make a generous contribution towards the happy couple's honeymoon in the West Indies. Anyone who objects to this extravagance is a 'killjoy'.

We seriously need to get a grip and take some lead from the precedent set by our parents and grandparents on this matter. Including perhaps a formal 'going away' by the bride and groom so that guests know when they can leave without causing umbrage.

Cold War Kid

Emmie Helpless Poplin wrote: »

Apparently in England it's becoming increasingly normal to invite some guests to the ceremony and the afters, but not to the meal itself.

That's a bit bizarre IMO - come for a bit, piss off for a few hours and then come back. :pac:

DeVore

Personally I would RATHER get invited to the afters (that's if I really feel I need to go at all).... Nothing worse than hanging about all day at some god awful ceremony with a bunch of aunts and uncles you don't know. I'd almost ASK to go to the afters only!

anncoates

Last afters I went to was the perfect afters scenario.

Good friend of a best friend so I see the guy (and sometimes his partner) a few times a year at get-togethers and enjoy his/their company.

Play football with him. Facebook friends. Have his number but rarely use it apart from sending the odd message about football, at Christmas etc.

I don't ever meet up with him/them on my own, just through my mate.

Was delighted to be invited to their afters and wish them the best and have a session. Didn't bring a gift. Bought them a few drinks.

My friend went to the full thing.

Problem?

None. For either of us.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I'd rather a good wake & funeral than a wedding.

Whether its the full day or the afters I rarely accept a wedding invitation.

on_my_oe

This 'afters' thing must be an Irish invention. Never heard of it til I came here, and as other posters have said, it smacks of the 'obligatory invite'.

I also hadn't heard of a cash bar at a wedding until I reached Ireland either...

I thought it was the Scots who were supposed to be stingy?

Electric Sheep

on_my_oe wrote: »

This 'afters' thing must be an Irish invention. Never heard of it til I came here, and as other posters have said, it smacks of the 'obligatory invite'.

I also hadn't heard of a cash bar at a wedding until I reached Ireland either...

I thought it was the Scots who were supposed to be stingy?

-

It's the "show" thing - the food won't be in the photographs, nor will the cash bar. The wild "originality" of the sweet cart and the photobooth will though, along with the heavily overdone "professional make up artist" faces on the wedding party. Hey, it's not about the guests or marriage, it's about the facebook pictures, don't you know...

Cold War Kid

It's a well-meaning gesture towards those whom the bride and/or groom know and get on well with but at the same time aren't friends of theirs - any of us have such acquaintances: people we'd know through friends, family, work, college. It wouldn't be feasible to invite everyone you're amicably acquainted with to the full wedding, particularly if you've a big family.
It's also something that those, who wish (and might need) to keep the main wedding numbers limited to family and closest friends, do.

I don't know why people are so determined to see it as some sort of slight. And it has existed since long before Facebook. If a person is insulted by it, they don't have to go - but it's a weird thing to be insulted by. How can there possibly be a negative intention to it?

A close friend of a close friend invited me to the afters of his wedding - we get on well but there's no way we could be considered friends; we just see each other the odd time, only ever through our mutual friend. But he still wanted to include me in some way, hence the invite to the afters, which seemed a very nice gesture IMO.

AndonHandon

All those defending afters are quite clearly scabby cnuts of the depraved kind.

Zimmerframe

"Afters" is simply to squeeze some dosh from those who couldn't be fitted into the main day.

We don't want you at "the wedding", but if you are around, you can pop in with a few quid when we have everything scoffed.

doulikeit

Absolutely not got invited to afters yesterday by a lad only see him a couple of times a year through work but delighted I could share in his big day I find him a very pleasant chap. Ill give him a nice cash donation buy him and his new wife a drink and wish them all the best for the future and go and sit down with my wife and my mates and their wifes and enjoy the night, while completely getting over the fact "I was only invited to the afters".