Do you intend to get married?

Paulzx

Germanriesling wrote: »

I value my sex life so no.

Marraige doesn't mean you have to stop ****

cloud493

I'd like to get married, but I have yet to find a woman who can stand me so.

Super-Rush

Paid the deposit on mine today.

efb

Super-Rush wrote: »

Paid the deposit on mine today.

Russian Bride?

ancapailldorcha

If I met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and she reciprocated then definitely. As has been noted it adds peace of mind via rights, securities and protections form certain taxes.

efb

efb wrote: »

Russian Bride?

A friend recommended this to me recently, was an interesting watch.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3249478/

frostyjacks

Germanriesling wrote: »

Why shouldn't they keep their options open?

Because it's not a total commitment to each other, is it? It's not love if you have an exit strategy at the back of your mind.

Super-Rush

efb wrote: »

Russian Bride?

Thai.

Rubberlegs

Cold War Kid wrote: »

That's not what it's about though (doesn't have to be public either) - it's about giving the couple (and family if they have one) protections.
Not saying there's something wrong with you not marrying (there isn't of course) but what it confers is really beneficial. Even important.

Yep, that's all that has to be done.

I know what you are saying. We have everything sorted regarding the kids ie he has guardianship. The house is mine if anything should happen to him. I am probably cynical, but am of the mindset if it's not broken, no need to fix it . I know a couple with kids who got married purely for the tax benefits. Within a few years they had a really bitter divorce. Another couple who are relations of ours are married, but she told me sometime after she had to give him an ultimatum. Marry her, or she was gone. I can't imagine doing that, from both sides. Either dishing out an ultimatum, or marrying someone who gave me one. Of course that's just two examples, but I suppose what I mean is you really, really have to want to be married. And for the right reasons! I love a good day out, just not my own

Cold War Kid

I'd do it for the next-of-kin aspect - it's stupid but your partner can't be your next-of-kin, only your spouse.
But of course an unmarried relationship can be just as, sometimes moreso, committed as a married one.

frostyjacks

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I'd do it for the next-of-kin aspect - it's stupid but your partner can't be your next-of-kin, only your spouse.
But of course an unmarried relationship can be just as, sometimes moreso, committed as a married one.

I prefer to see actions, not words. It's easy to say you're committed when you could leave in the morning without so much as a by-your-leave.

Rubberlegs

frostyjacks wrote: »

I prefer to see actions, not words. It's easy to say you're committed when you could leave in the morning without so much as a by-your-leave.

Married people have been known to walk out on each other too!

efb

Super-Rush wrote: »

Thai.

dgt

Yes. To myself

smurgen

Hopefully I'll find an aul doll with a presentable gear box and marry her. Sick of fake chowing winches.

Just a little Samba

Not presently but that could change.

Summer wind

I'm with my husband 21 years and we have been married for 15 of those. Being married doesn't make our relationship any better than a couple that live together but I'm glad we are.

Galwayguy35

Was nearly married years ago but I called it off, but yeah I would like to get married someday.

Mister Vain

If herself agreed to do it in a registry office I'd consider it, but there is no way I could do the whole wedding thing tbh. I absolutely hate weddings, they're so cheesy and contrived. The speeches alone would turn me off doing it. I can't think of a single person I could choose as a best man either.

Menas

I am married. I love it. Marraige suits me.
I am not sure the wife is so keen though...imagine having to be married to me forever?

8-10

eviltwin wrote: »

I was never pushed about marriage but when you own a property it makes financial sense. I don't want to be hit with an inheritance tax bill I can't afford on a house I bought. Getting married seemed like a no brainer. We paid fifty euros, didn't have a reception and very few people outside close family and friends would even know

Plus the pooling of tax credits to reduce what you pay on the top rate of tax! Makes a serious difference

Diamond Doll

I'd quite like to get married, purely for the unromantic reasons ... the tax benefits wouldn't apply to us, for now, but I'd like to from the point of view of next-of-kin, guardianship, inheritance rights, etc.

I'd hate a wedding, it would definitely be a civil ceremony job, 250e and sign whatever paperwork, job done. No interest in a big white dress or a party or anything.

My parter is just anti-marriage, so it'll probably never happen. We'll see!

JacquesDeLad

I reckon I'll have four weddings a funeral.

Menas

Der Fluss wrote: »

Why is it deemed a good idea to be unnecessarily committed, surely leaving your options open is the best for everyone.

Der Fluss wrote: »

What's so great about being married?

It works for me, I like it, like how been married feels and like sharing my life with someone.
If you want to 'leave your options open' then marriage is clearly not for you.
Thats ok by me too. Each to their own.

Menas

Der Fluss wrote: »

What if you fall out of love with your spouse, you'll have to spend the rest of your life with them.

If only we had divorce in this country....
If you are worried about falling out of love with your partner, that is a good reason not to get married.

Menas

Der Fluss wrote: »

So it's not really commitment then.

What?
How could you deduce that from what I said? Divorce is there for those marraiges that dont work out. If you dont want to commit, or want to keep your options open, or worry about falling out of love then dont get married.
NOw, I think you are trolling so wont engage any more with you.
Good luck!

Caovyn Lineah

When I got with my girlfriend 6 years ago we both hated the idea of marriage and both said it was something we had no interest in ever doing.


We've been engaged for a month.

MistyCheese

I'm not sure I'm getting your point Derr Fluss. Is it 'People who are married are no less committed than people who are unmarried because there's always divorce?' That would really only work if there was a way to opt out so some couples could tick 'Yes, we would like the option for a divorce in the future of things don't work out' and other couples could tick 'No way, no divorce for us no matter what.'

Der Fluss

MistyCheese wrote: »

I'm not sure I'm getting your point Derr Fluss. Is it 'People who are married are no less committed than people who are unmarried because there's always divorce?' That would really only work if there was a way to opt out so some couples could tick 'Yes, we would like the option for a divorce in the future of things don't work out' and other couples could tick 'No way, no divorce for us no matter what.'

Mr point is people speak of marriage as commitment, but if you can separate or get divorced then it's not a commitment, certainly no a "big commitment".

MistyCheese

Ah okay I see your point now.

A lot of people who get married feel more committed to each other. They've gone to the bother of getting all their documents in order and paying €200 for a licence and many choose to add a religious aspect so have further things to sort out in relation to that.

Then of course the majority of couples go on to have some sort of party celebration after, be it a formal ballroom and sit down meal for 200 with a chocolate fountain and a light up dancefloor or a barbecue in the back yard.

So most couples who up and decide to organise all that and stand up together in front of invited friends and family to pledge their eternal love for each other and intention to remain a partnership and a team forevermore do feel like they've made a commitment.

You might argue that's all in their heads because they might not remain together til death they do part but no-one can see into the future in that way. You can only make a vow based on all current knowledge. If a married couple does part it's not as simple as a boyfriend and girlfriend going their separate ways because of that promise, that declaration of intention. That's why many couples' feel they have a different mindset after making that promise of commitment.

worded

It's good for inheritance rights of the other partner. If you have a house and want it to pass to your S.O its a good idea.

Aside from that I see little advantage.

Affairs and break ups are very common now amongst couples even in long term 10 year + relationships. its costly and time consuming to exit marraige even if amicable.

So no thanks to marraige

frostyjacks

Der Fluss wrote: »

Mr point is people speak of marriage as commitment, but if you can separate or get divorced then it's not a commitment, certainly no a "big commitment".

So how do you define a big commitment in a relationship, if marriage doesn't meet your standard?

SMJSF

I would if I found the right person... But I'm not the type of woman who would push for it.
I don't like the idea of all the fuss and stress.
I would if the future husband agreed to have it at home, with only a small amount of people there, such as his parent/s and close family. (I don't have the best relationship with my own).
No dress, or music or anything.
I wouldn't like the crowd, the flowers, the food, Etc. I think its a waste of money for the couple for everyone else to enjoy.
It's only the two people declaring themselves to each other.
But I wouldn't be unhappy if I never got married.

hatrickpatrick

I want a lifelong relationship, but in my view security makes people lazy. So in my mind, an unmarried relationship has less chance of disintegrating.

EDIT: Just to clarify, my opposition is to marriage itself, not to weddings. I'd have no problem throwing a massive whopper of a session to celebrate my relationship, I just don't think security is a good thing. Knowing I can be dumped tomorrow morning at the drop of a hat means I know I have to put my relationship, my manner, my appearance, my personality first and make her happy. Once you have security, it seems inevitable that the amount of effort will subconsciously decline over time.

Menas

La Motocicletta wrote: »

You can't really call it commitment if you are open to divorce or separation as a possibility.

So no body in this country who got married since the divorce referendum has made a commitment?
Ridiculous argument.

worded

worded wrote: »

It's good for inheritance rights of the other partner. If you have a house and want it to pass to your S.O its a good idea.

Aside from that I see little advantage.

There are also incomce tax advantages, next of kin rights and parental rights.

eviltwin

I'm not into fuss and big dos either but they are not compulsory. Its amazing the amount of people who are turned off marriage because they hate the idea of being the centre of attention. There is a big difference between a wedding and a marriage.

P_1

Not too sure if it would be for me to be honest. It'd be probably something I'd do if my innings was drawing to an end to ensure no tax nightmares or if I somehow manage to spawn a mini-me. Plus there's the not so insignificant hurdle of finding someone who would put up with me...

P_1

P_1 wrote: »

Not too sure if it would be for me to be honest. It'd be probably something I'd do if my innings was drawing to an end to ensure no tax nightmares or if I somehow manage to spawn a mini-me. Plus there's the not so insignificant hurdle of finding someone who would put up with me...

Hear, hear

eviltwin

Miriam Thousands Stake wrote: »

There are also incomce tax advantages, next of kin rights and parental rights.

That's very true and a big part of why I got married but you shouldn't have to get married to have those rights.

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

That's very true and a big part of why I got married but you shouldn't have to get married to have those rights.

I disagree, you can't just be handed these things and I think it's only right that an official process is necessary to gain the additional rights or advantages.

r93kaey5p2izun

Nah. Can't see myself in a long term relationship so not going to happen. Nothing against marriage itself. Most weddings are a complete nightmare though.

Eugene Norman

eviltwin wrote: »

That's very true and a big part of why I got married but you shouldn't have to get married to have those rights.

Anything else would be subject to abuse.

eviltwin

Miriam Thousands Stake wrote: »

I disagree, you can't just be handed these things and I think it's only right that an official process is necessary to gain the additional rights or advantages.

Well I don't think you should just be granted those rights, obviously the couple would have to apply for them. I was with my partner 13 years before we married, we had a home and a family. That is a commitment. It angers me that we had no rights despite our long standing relationship and that two people who married in haste would have better protection than we did. There should be a civil partnership option available to all couples who want to be protected but don't want to marry.

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

Well I don't think you should just be granted those rights, obviously the couple would have to apply for them. I was with my partner 13 years before we married, we had a home and a family. That is a commitment. It angers me that we had no rights despite our long standing relationship and that two people who married in haste would have better protection than we did. There should be a civil partnership option available to all couples who want to be protected but don't want to marry.

I don't see why we need another version of marriage either get married and get the rights that go with it or else don't and miss out on them.

Why do we need something to give the rights marriage gives when we already have marriage?

eviltwin

Miriam Thousands Stake wrote: »

I don't see why we need another version of marriage either get married and get the rights that go with it or else don't and miss out on them.

People shouldn't be pressured into marriage just to protect what is already theirs

NachoBusiness

Not without a pre nup, no as I have a few ideas knocking around the ole noggin that are right up there with the topsy turvy ponytail tool and I ain't risking losing the windfall they are gonna bring my way for a piece of skirt. No siree bob. I have yachts to be buying with that loot.

Not a NSA agent

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm not into fuss and big dos either but they are not compulsory. Its amazing the amount of people who are turned off marriage because they hate the idea of being the centre of attention. There is a big difference between a wedding and a marriage.

I think one of the problems is the families. They have their expectations and people just dont want to have to keep explaining why they dont want to have a huge wedding with hundreds of peoples and years of debt.

Gongoozler

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Once you have security, it seems inevitable that the amount of effort will subconsciously decline over time.

I think security and taking things for granted can be two different things.

I like to feel secure, but it absolutely doesn't mean I take things for granted.


I kind of feel that I would like to marry my boyfriend. I like the idea of being a unit and, not for either of us to feel that we can't get out, just more that it's a solid thing, that we both wanted to commit to. I've always been opposed to marriage, that is since I realised you don't have to get married, but that's because I saw a fair few miserable marriages in growing up, including my own parents. I have always thought of it as pointless, and in most ways I still do, unless you're concerned with money or children. I suppose I wouldn't be completely opposed to the feeling of security that it could bring. I do wish I didn't think that though, there's no real reason you should feel more secure, or a "unit" just because you're legally bonded. It just does seem like that though.

LivingDeadGirl

Definitely. I think it's a lovely way to show your commitment to someone and celebrate your love with friends and family. I would also prefer for all of the family to have the same last name if we were to have children.