Commuting with children

Haymarket

Hi,

I'm new to this and am wondering if there's anyone out there in a similar position to me! Myself and my partner commute about an hour to hour and a half to work! We leave before 6.30am. We both work for the same company! We have a 2 year old who my mother currently minds at our home and her own and it works quite well!
I've just found out that I'm pregnant again and am extremely anxious as my mother has said she will not be able to cope with 2 kids!
Working from home is not an option nor is a shorter working week!
Does anyone else commute with their kids? This may be our only option, ie bringing them with us every morning to a childminder close to where we work??
I am very worried and upset at the min over this and any words of encouragement or reassurance would be very much appreciated!!!!!

Millem

Don't worry at all. I work with loads of people who bought houses outside dublin during the boom and commute. A lot have au pairs. Would this be an option for you?

Haymarket

Millem wrote: »

Don't worry at all. I work with loads of people who bought houses outside dublin during the boom and commute. A lot have au pairs. Would this be an option for you?

I never considered it but have to now! I am open to all options at the minute as I do not want to put added stress on my mother or our relationship! I have no idea how much that would cost though?

2xj3hplqgsbkym

I am not in this situation , luckily I live very close to work. But wonder why would you bring them with you and not put them in childcare near your home? 2 cranky crying kids in the back of the car on way home from work on a dark winters night sounds like hell!
I think a childminder or crèche near home would be better, maybe crèche and your mum could pick them up and mind them for an hour?

2xj3hplqgsbkym

That would be too many hours for an au pair, you would need 2 or 3 of them! Think they only do about 20 hours

Haymarket

Braxton Screeching Aardvark wrote: »

I am not in this situation , luckily I live very close to work. But wonder why would you bring them with you and not put them in childcare near your home? 2 cranky crying kids in the back of the car on way home from work on a dark winters night sounds like hell!
I think a childminder or crèche near home would be better, maybe crèche and your mum could pick them up and mind them for an hour?

I know where you are coming from totally but I think it would be near impossible to find childcare that opens at 6.30am? I think my mum may be open to the option of minding them for a short time alright but the mornings may still be a problem?

2xj3hplqgsbkym

In a lot of commuter towns the crèches open early. Would you consider a childminder? If childminder comes to your home it is more expensive, but much handier for you, he/she could come in the morning, you wouldn't have to get kids up early, pack them up etc... And be ready for bed when you come home. Or you could have combination au pair and child minder ( if you have spare room) would be cheaper and au pair could drop kids to crèche or minders.

Haymarket

Braxton Screeching Aardvark wrote: »

In a lot of commuter towns the crèches open early. Would you consider a childminder? If childminder comes to your home it is more expensive, but much handier for you, he/she could come in the morning, you wouldn't have to get kids up early, pack them up etc... And be ready for bed when you come home. Or you could have combination au pair and child minder ( if you have spare room) would be cheaper and au pair could drop kids to crèche or minders.

All the crèches near us don't open till 7am which would be too late for us to get to work on time! That situation would be ideal, of not having to get them up! We have a spare room but live in quite a rural part and I have no idea of the cost of an au pair!

Millem

Braxton Screeching Aardvark wrote: »

That would be too many hours for an au pair, you would need 2 or 3 of them! Think they only do about 20 hours

I am a teacher so don't work super long days. The girls in work must pay their au pairs for extra hours?

OP maybe you could get an au pair and then ask mum to mind the rest of the hours?

reeta

OP I imagine it was very hard for your mam to tell you she couldnt mind two young children, so I wouldnt put her in a position by asking her to mind them after school as it wouldnt be fair. Even minding them part time means she cant go away for the day etc. I dont mean to be harsh as I was in that situation myself but I think you should look at the au pair/childminding option only..

Haymarket

reeta wrote: »

OP I imagine it was very hard for your mam to tell you she couldnt mind two young children, so I wouldnt put her in a position by asking her to mind them after school as it wouldnt be fair. Even minding them part time means she cant go away for the day etc. I dont mean to be harsh as I was in that situation myself but I think you should look at the au pair/childminding option only..

Yes I'm sure it was hard for her! She dotes on our little one at the minute! Can you give a rough estimate of the cost of the au pair/childminding option?

Millem

Haymarket where are you located? Prices for minders vary! Down the country is cheaper than Dublin. My friend only pays €130 7-5 mon-fri whereas I pay €150 for 3.5 days in Dublin for much shorter hours!

Here is a link for an au pairs site. I have no idea if it is a good one or not!
https://www.aupairworld.com/en/au_pair_program/ireland/family/pocket_money

reeta

Never used an Au Pair but a childminder in my area for one child from 7.30 to 6.00 costs between €200 - €220.00 a week. It is so expensive ! Luckily I am out of that scenario now. If you are in a rural area I dont know how hard it will be to find one but the best of luck... also choose very carefully, make sure you have a list of questions, and know exactly what you are looking for in a childminder...

Haymarket

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket where are you located? Prices for minders vary! Down the country is cheaper than Dublin. My friend only pays €130 7-5 mon-fri whereas I pay €150 for 3.5 days in Dublin for much shorter hours!

Haymarket

Haymarket wrote: »

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket where are you located? Prices for minders vary! Down the country is cheaper than Dublin. My friend only pays €130 7-5 mon-fri whereas I pay €150 for 3.5 days in Dublin for much shorter hours!

We're on the Monaghan/Cavan border! Thanks for that! I'm really struggling with this and am beginning to regret changing the balance of something that worked so well

Haymarket

Haymarket wrote: »

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket where are you located? Prices for minders vary! Down the country is cheaper than Dublin. My friend only pays €130 7-5 mon-fri whereas I pay €150 for 3.5 days in Dublin for much shorter hours!

We're on the Monaghan/Cavan border! Thanks for that! I'm really struggling with this and am beginning to regret changing the balance of something that worked so well

Haymarket

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket where are you located? Prices for minders vary! Down the country is cheaper than Dublin. My friend only pays €130 7-5 mon-fri whereas I pay €150 for 3.5 days in Dublin for much shorter hours!

Thanks Millem, we're on the Monaghan/Cavan border! I'm really struggling with this at the minute & am feeling so bad for upsetting the balance

athtrasna

Bear in mind that if you have a childminder coming into your home you are responsible for tax affairs. If you go down the childminder route but take your children to their home, it is the childminder's responsibility.

My sister has just gone through the whole process of registering as an employer for her childminder and it wasn't easy. It has also added considerably to the cost but was worth it for her as she found the perfect fit for their family.

Millem

Haymarket wrote: »

We're on the Monaghan/Cavan border! Thanks for that! I'm really struggling with this and am beginning to regret changing the balance of something that worked so well

Haymarket don't worry it won't be for a long time as your eldest will be doing their ECCE year
do you know anyone who uses a minder locally? if you find one you could start your eldest maybe 1 or 2 mornings while you were off on maternity leave?
I would defo consider the au pair option though as the kiddies could stay in their beds in the morning You might want to take 1 day parental leave a week yourself anyway as with tax etc it might be worth your while

Haymarket

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket wrote: »

Haymarket don't worry it won't be for a long time as your eldest will be doing their ECCE year
do you know anyone who uses a minder locally? if you find one you could start your eldest maybe 1 or 2 mornings while you were off on maternity leave?
I would defo consider the au pair option though as the kiddies could stay in their beds in the morning You might want to take 1 day parental leave a week yourself anyway as with tax etc it might be worth your while

Thanks! It's all a bit overwhelming! The company I work for only allow parental leave in a block of 18 weeks or two 6 week blocks which is a total disaster as 1 day parental leave a week would b ideal!!!

Millem

We are only allowed it in blocks of 7 days
Well maybe you could use your holidays 1 day a week?
I reckon you will find a nice minder up there anyway who isn't too expensive.
When are you due to go back to work? Could your eldest be doing their ECCE year?

Haymarket

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket wrote: »

We are only allowed it in blocks of 7 days
Well maybe you could use your holidays 1 day a week?
I reckon you will find a nice minder up there anyway who isn't too expensive.
When are you due to go back to work? Could your eldest be doing their ECCE year?

Yeah I think we'll have to!! Oh I hope so! Oh I've just found out I'm expecting so it won't b until sept at least of next year! I wasn't expecting the response from my mum to b honest! :-(

Millem

Haymarket wrote: »

Yeah I think we'll have to!! Oh I hope so! Oh I've just found out I'm expecting so it won't b until sept at least of next year! I wasn't expecting the response from my mum to b honest! :-(

I reckon your mum was just in shock
I have a 17 month old and it is hard going minding him all day long. I am off for the summer but bring him to play cafe, playground etc to keep him occupied.
you have options! A new baby is so much easier to mind than a toddler

Haymarket

Millem wrote: »

Haymarket wrote: »

I reckon your mum was just in shock
I have a 17 month old and it is hard going minding him all day long. I am off for the summer but bring him to play cafe, playground etc to keep him occupied.
you have options! A new baby is so much easier to mind than a toddler

Yeah I'm sure she was! I don't want to add to her stress I suppose! It's true alright that a baby is easier!!! Our working hours make it so difficult I guess!!! Thanks for your advice! Was nice to have a sympathetic ear :-)

runawaybishop

Argh fix the quotes!