Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

Mightydrumming

Cormac... wrote: »

Join Date: Jul 2015

And you're hear to dictate how AH discusses stuff like this..... right.... :rolleyes:

Like the mods don't have a hard enough job without trying to make all bad things that happen genderless

I think he gets off on it to be honest :rolleyes:

Pumpkinseeds

B0jangles wrote: »

No, she's just really really unsympathetic to female victims of domestic violence. Check the post history, it is peculiarly informative.

Wow, just wow. I don't accept at face value the accusations of a woman I've never met about a man I've never met and so far on this thread I've been accused of being the guys friend, his mistress and now a woman hater. Jesus H, people, get yourselves a life. The level of crazy amongst you is scary.

PucaMama

strelok wrote: »

there has been a lot of 'thug' thrown around about the man alright, a word you rarely see describing white people

Are you serious???

brooke 2

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I watched the video. I don't think it is about vengeance, or about advancing a legal action: it's about emancipation.

The hardest thing about domestic abuse is that the victim is disempowered, and it is extremely difficult to say "Enough! I'm out of here, and not coming back". Those who work with victims of domestic abuse are familiar with the phenomenon of victims forgiving their abusers and going back into bad situations. It is, in part, due to the loss of self-esteem that has resulted from the abuse.

This woman has taken her life back in a very public way, and created for herself a set of circumstances where she pretty well cannot go back into a relationship that is bad.

This superb post deserves a bump!!

Mightydrumming

PucaMama wrote: »

Are you serious???

There always has to be a minority that bring irrelevant sh!te into the equation.

I certainly have never and would never judge a person by their colour.

Dogowner55

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I watched the video. I don't think it is about vengeance, or about advancing a legal action: it's about emancipation.

The hardest thing about domestic abuse is that the victim is disempowered, and it is extremely difficult to say "Enough! I'm out of here, and not coming back". Those who work with victims of domestic abuse are familiar with the phenomenon of victims forgiving their abusers and going back into bad situations. It is, in part, due to the loss of self-esteem that has resulted from the abuse.

This woman has taken her life back in a very public way, and created for herself a set of circumstances where she pretty well cannot go back into a relationship that is bad.

Here is another "emancipation" I condemned

thezoepost.wordpress.com

It was a huge huge deal in the gaming community, but unlike this current one the MSM rightly called it out as as wrong and condemned inciting a hate mob.

Are people bringing sterotypes in to the equation, ie her gender and his that we cannot talk about, to make justifed in not condemning what she did as wrong?

Trudiha

MrWalsh wrote: »

She made both claims and I am taking both claims at face value.

She said he gave her a black eye and she said that when they fought she hit him too.

Im not suggesting anything, Im simply musing on what the woman herself said.

There are dysfunctional relationships, where both partners act like loons, checking each other's phones and Facebook messages, arguing and being generally jealous. These people often have what I would regard as a lack of regard for each other's physical autonomy; pushing out of the way, mutual slapping, unwanted touching. It’s sort of a grim everyday reality but there is no abuse involved as the behaviour is ‘like for like’.

These relationships can slip over into abuse and having previously had a dysfunctional relationship doesn’t preclude it from becoming an abusing one, in fact it’s almost a prerequisite.

I saw it in a bar once, two fellows horsing around when one suddenly landed a sucker punch on the other. There wasn’t a single person present who wouldn’t have instinctively understood when the pushing, shoving and messing about turned into criminal assault.

MrWalsh

Trudiha wrote: »

There are dysfunctional relationships, where both partners act like loons, checking each other's phones and Facebook messages, arguing and being generally jealous. These people often have what I would regard as a lack of regard for each other's physical autonomy; pushing out of the way, mutual slapping, unwanted touching. It’s sort of a grim everyday reality but there is no abuse involved as the behaviour is ‘like for like’.

These relationships can slip over into abuse and having previously had a dysfunctional relationship doesn’t preclude it from becoming an abusing one, in fact it’s almost a prerequisite.

I saw it in a bar once, two fellows horsing around when one suddenly landed a sucker punch on the other. There wasn’t a single person present who wouldn’t have instinctively understood when the pushing, shoving and messing about turned into criminal assault.

So then I will ask you to retract your cognitive dissonance comment as I made no suggestion that I did not believe the victim, nor did I suggest myself that someone who was not assaulted was.

brooke 2

P. Breathnach wrote: »

The video was primarily about herself. The raising awareness component was her trying to give it some context - partly for others, but also for herself.

In general, people hope that victims of domestic abuse get out their situations fast. The sad reality is that many don't; they remain in bad situations for a worryingly-long timer. Yet you seem to think that her action seemed too precipitate.

This was not the first time he hit her.
She previously forgave him because
she loved him. She says she still loves him, does not know whether making the video was the right thing or not, but felt
it was something she had to do. Her
sense of betrayal was obviously profound. Imagine having another woman present herself to you as
pregnant with your partner's child when
you yourself are heavily pregnant with a child of his! This meeting, she alleges,
brought on early labour, her daughter having been born a few days afterwards.
According to reports, the other woman's baby is due one of these days. Leaving aside the physical pain of the assault, the psychological trauma she must be enduring at the moment must be tremendous.

PopePalpatine

Mightydrumming wrote: »

I think he gets off on it to be honest :rolleyes:

Maybe there's some sort of loyalty points system, if you attack 20 women for speaking out about domestic violence you get a free trilby.

Trudiha

MrWalsh wrote: »

So then I will ask you to retract your cognitive dissonance comment as I made no suggestion that I did not believe the victim, nor did I suggest myself that someone who was not assaulted was.

I didn't address that comment to you. I deliberately put it in a separate post to avoid confusion. You quoted it and I've replied to your quote but my post on cognitive dissonance was a general comment.

Dogowner55

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Maybe there's some sort of loyalty points system, if you attack 20 women for speaking out about domestic violence you get a free trilby.

This is why talk of the gender on this issue should be banned like the race.

Dv is bad regardless of gender
Attacking someone is bad regardless of race

The only issue is a person made a video to get a hate mod to attack someone, the gender and race matters on just the act was wrong

califano

The way Usanga is followed is like an episode of the Simpsons where Homer peels a gummie bear off the baby sitters posterior. All we're missing now is a slow-mo of Usanga struggling to get keys out of his pocket

Trudiha

Dogowner55 wrote: »

This is why talk of the gender on this issue should be banned like the race.

Dv is bad regardless of gender
Attacking someone is bad regardless of race

The only issue is a person made a video to get a hate mod to attack someone, the gender and race matters on just the act was wrong

Violence is gendered. The vast majority of violent acts are carried out by men, mostly they are carried out towards other men but sometimes woman. It would serve the vast majority of men and some women to eradicate violence but that’s never going to happen while we don’t mention the elephant in the room.

We need to socialise our children better.

Mightydrumming

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Maybe there's some sort of loyalty points system, if you attack 20 women for speaking out about domestic violence you get a free trilby.

And then people wonder why victims of domestic abuse don't speak out. Some people on this thread have shown exactly why. It's unacceptable.

Dogowner55

Trudiha wrote: »

Violence is gendered. The vast majority of violent acts are carried out by men, mostly they are carried out towards other men but sometimes woman. It would serve the vast majority of men and some women to eradicate violence but that’s never going to happen while we don’t mention the elephant in the room.

We need to socialise our children better.

But it's a stereotype like his race being more violent, we should not be juding him on stereotypes and let the authorities do their job.

The only wrong act that we know for certain that has been committed is that a person release a video to ruin another persons life.

Gender and race is not a part of that act.

NachoBusiness

LexieOnRale wrote: »

All actions have consequences, and his seems to be having what he's done plastered all over social media.

Oh well, if it seems like he deserves this, sure then let me get out of the way of the baying mob so. Careful with those pitchforks now.

RDM_83 again

Trudiha wrote: »

Violence is gendered. The vast majority of violent acts are carried out by men, mostly they are carried out towards other men but sometimes woman. It would serve the vast majority of men and some women to eradicate violence but that’s never going to happen while we don’t mention the elephant in the room.

We need to socialise our children better.

Trudiha wrote: »

Violence is gendered. The vast majority of violent acts are carried out by men, mostly they are carried out towards other men but sometimes woman. It would serve the vast majority of men and some women to eradicate violence but that’s never going to happen while we don’t mention the elephant in the room.

We need to socialise our children better.

And a decent minority of the opposite gender particularly at a younger age seem to be attracted to violent/unsavoury individuals (not talking about those who present themselves as nice and hide their behaviour which obviously make up a substantial amount of abusers). How come saying men are inherently more violent (I can agree with your logic btw) is ok but examining the motivation/ thought process of those who enter these relationships is sexism?

Mightydrumming

Dogowner55 wrote: »

The only issue is a person made a video to get a hate mod to attack someone, the gender and race matters on just the act was wrong

Where have you been throughout this thread? You cannot and will not back up your statements.

Can you please give me a time in the uploaded video where the women demanded a hate mob or demanded for the partner to be attacked?

Myself, along with countless other posters have told you why the video was made. I will tell you again because obviously your finding difficulty processing it.

The video was made to raise awareness to other victims of domestic abuse. The video has and will continue to give courage and inspire victims of domestic violence to come forward.

jonon9

strelok wrote: »

there has been a lot of 'thug' thrown around about the man alright, a word you rarely see describing white people

Hey marked One.

Trudiha

Dogowner55 wrote: »

But it's a stereotype like his race being more violent, we should not be juding him on stereotypes and let the authorities do their job.

You seem to be confusing stereotypes and statistical facts. I can’t find any research that proves that black/afro Caribbean people are more violent than White European ones but any monitoring done on perpetrators of violent crime proves that the overwhelming majority are men.

The only wrong act that we know for certain that has been committed is that a person release a video to ruin another persons life.

You have no idea of this woman's motivations. None whatsoever.

Dogowner55

Trudiha wrote: »

You seem to be confusing stereotypes and statistical facts. I can’t find any research that proves that black/afro Caribbean people are more violent than White European ones but any monitoring done on perpetrators of violent crime proves that the overwhelming majority are men.


You have no idea of this woman's motivations. None whatsoever.

Yes you can and plenty of prison stats show how the stereotypes started

Mightydrumming

Dogowner55 wrote: »

Yes you can and plenty of prison stats show how the stereotypes started

Can you give us hard facts here please?

Trudiha

RDM_83 again wrote: »

And a decent minority of the opposite gender particularly at a younger age seem to be attracted to violent/unsavoury individuals (not talking about those who present themselves as nice and hide their behaviour which obviously make up a substantial amount of abusers). How come saying men are inherently more violent (I can agree with your logic btw) is ok but examining the motivation/ thought process of those who enter these relationships is sexism?

I don't think that men are inherently more violent. I've been part of a research study that actually counted how often pre-school kids hit each other and it showed pretty clearly that little girls are just as keen to use their fists/toys to bash other kids.

The difference is that little girls are more effectively socialised out of that behaviour, they are taught non-violent resolution skills by their caregivers in a way that little boys aren’t.

I haven’t mentioned sexism and I’d be delighted if all teenagers were taught that violence is an unattractive trait.

Dogowner55

Mightydrumming wrote: »

Can you give us hard facts here please?

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2741905/

NachoBusiness

NachoBusiness wrote: »

then she would just be seen as the nut who most likely asked for it.

CaoimheSquee wrote: »

WOAH.

As much as I don't really agree with the publicising of the situation - especially her kids, saying she was asking for it is seriously low. No point in reading any of your posts further on the subject.

Perfect example if ever there was one of taking what someone has said completely out of context just so you can suggest they have said something which they patently have not. Now lets put the above sentence back in context shall we (if that's okay with you):

NachoBusiness wrote: »

She slathered the video from start to finish with an awareness subtext. The truth is she needed to though, as how else could she get away with doing what she did. If it had been a: 'Look what the bastard did to me this time. Your son, your friend, your trainer, your media personality in the making, well he's not the man you all think he is, cause he's been shagging around and has got another women pregnant!" video, without all the rest of the filler... then she would just be seen as the nut who most likely asked for it.

So you see, what I actually said was that she would most likely have been seen as someone that asked for it if she had made a ''Look what the bastard did to me this time" style video rather than the one she did make.

No point in reading any of your posts further on the subject.

Well, not if you're going to incorrectly comprehend what I have said there isn't, no.

NachoBusiness

Mightydrumming wrote: »

You are simply disgusting. It's becoming even more evident that you have never been involved in a domestic situation yourself.

And another one.

Mightydrumming

NachoBusiness wrote: »

If it had been a: 'Look what the bastard did to me this time. Your son, your friend, your trainer, your media personality in the making, well he's not the man you all think he is, cause he's been shagging around and has got another women pregnant!" video, without all the rest of the filler... then she would just be seen as the nut who most likely asked for it.

I have read that multiple times now and I am astonished to say the least.

NachoBusiness wrote: »

then she would just be seen as the nut who most likely asked for it.

That statement makes no literal sense. Could you elaborate as to how she would of been made out to be the 'nut'?

NachoBusiness

Mightydrumming wrote: »

I have read that multiple times now and I am astonished to say the least.

Astonished for what reason exactly?

Could you elaborate as to how she would of been made out to be the 'nut'?

People that make ranting videos and post them online usually are regarded that way.

She would been seen as a bunny boiler had she made the video I describe.

Pumpkinseeds

Trudiha wrote: »

I don't think that men are inherently more violent. I've been part of a research study that actually counted how often pre-school kids hit each other and it showed pretty clearly that little girls are just as keen to use their fists/toys to bash other kids.

The difference is that little girls are more effectively socialised out of that behaviour, they are taught non-violent resolution skills by their caregivers in a way that little boys aren’t.

I haven’t mentioned sexism and I’d be delighted if all teenagers were taught that violence is an unattractive trait.

Don't you mean that little girls are given dolls to play with to teach them how to be mommies and boys are encouraged to play soldiers and play with toy guns? Caregivers?, presumably you mean parents, but just don't want to offend anyone by acutally using the word parent 'Non-violent resolution skills', Jesus wept.

Trudiha

Dogowner55 wrote: »

Yes you can and plenty of prison stats show how the stereotypes started

Prison stats are a really poor way of assessing who is most likely to commit or even have committed a crime, particularly American ones. Poor people tend not to be able to afford a decent defence counsel and those without a decent defence tend to be more likely to go to prison and to spend longer there. A disproportionate number of African Americans are poor.

W.Shakes-Beer

One Youtuber has decided to look at things from a male perspective, somewhat showing the video for what it really is, thoughts?

An interesting take on it although possibly not the most conformist view, which again, isn't a bad thing.

The video detail: "If you're a MAN, you owe it to yourself to share this video out to just illustrate how emotionally manipulative women can be."


https://youtu.be/mjDS8NjToXc

Dogowner55

Trudiha wrote: »

Prison stats are a really poor way of assessing who is most likely to commit or even have committed a crime, particularly American ones. Poor people tend not to be able to afford a decent defence counsel and those without a decent defence tend to be more likely to go to prison and to spend longer there. A disproportionate number of African Americans are poor.

The stats for commeted crimes is a poor way to measure crime? The stats show black men are more violent hence the stereotypes come about. Just like sterotypes men are more violent.

Treat people as individuals and loose those sterotypes you are harboring. Don't judge the man in referenced in the video on his race or gender

padz

Trudiha wrote: »

Prison stats are a really poor way of assessing who is most likely to commit or even have committed a crime, particularly American ones. Poor people tend not to be able to afford a decent defence counsel and those without a decent defence tend to be more likely to go to prison and to spend longer there. A disproportionate number of African Americans are poor.

The FBI’s crime victimization surveys tell a very different story


In 2008, the most recent year for which such data seems to have been collected, FBI surveys show that, out of 520,161 interracial violent crimes, blacks committed 429,444 of them against whites, while whites committed 90,717 of them against blacks.


In other words, blacks commit more than 80 percent of all interracial violent crime


http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv08.pdf

Trudiha

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Don't you mean that little girls are given dolls to play with to teach them how to be mommies and boys are encouraged to play soldiers and play with toy guns? Caregivers?, presumably you mean parents, but just don't want to offend anyone by acutally using the word parent 'Non-violent resolution skills', Jesus wept.

It's a bit more complicated than that, a child of either gender can still give a fair clout with a doll and it doesn't take a penis to operate a toy gun.

I understand that since the Marriage Bar has been lifted some women are now working outside the home. Their children are looked after during the day by people who aren’t their parents. However, I would hope that they are still being encouraged to call their mammies, ‘Mammy’ and not having awful Americanisms forced upon they by their caregivers.

PopePalpatine

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

One Youtuber has decided to look at things from a male perspective, somewhat showing the video for what it really is, thoughts?
...
The video detail: "If you're a MAN, you owe it to yourself to share this video out to just illustrate how emotionally manipulative women can be."


https://youtu.be/mjDS8NjToXc

The uploader of that has no sense of irony.

Trudiha

Dogowner55 wrote: »

The stats for commeted crimes is a poor way to measure crime? The stats show black men are more violent hence the stereotypes come about. Just like sterotypes men are more violent.

Treat people as individuals and loose those sterotypes you are harboring. Don't judge the man in referenced in the video on his race or gender

No, the stats on who is in prison is a poor way to assess who has committed a crime. Rich people, white people and women tend to be given lighter sentences.

So if you’re looking at a prison population, you have to consider who’s not there, those who have already been released and they tend to be the rich, the pale and the female.

P. Breathnach

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

One Youtuber has decided to look at things from a male perspective, somewhat showing the video for what it really is, thoughts?

An interesting take on it although possibly not the most conformist view, which again, isn't a bad thing.

The video detail: "If you're a MAN, you owe it to yourself to share this video out to just illustrate how emotionally manipulative women can be."


https://youtu.be/mjDS8NjToXc

A male perspective? Most males (I hope) would disagree with the contention that if a woman throws his phone it is legitimate self-defence to hit her with a fist.

Dogowner55

PopePalpatine wrote: »

The uploader of that has no sense of irony.

Yeah I agree MGTOW and Anita meme's do him no favours, probably a gator, bet he celibrates how the zoe got ruined by something like this double standards

The persons gender doesn't matter. The video is the problem and that act is what should be denounced.

Pumpkinseeds

Trudiha wrote: »

It's a bit more complicated than that, a child of either gender can still give a fair clout with a doll and it doesn't take a penis to operate a toy gun.

I understand that since the Marriage Bar has been lifted some women are now working outside the home. Their children are looked after during the day by people who aren’t their parents. However, I would hope that they are still being encouraged to call their mammies, ‘Mammy’ and not having awful Americanisms forced upon they by their caregivers.

:D:D:D:D

MakeEmLaugh

strelok wrote: »

there has been a lot of 'thug' thrown around about the man alright, a word you rarely see describing white people

When I was growing up, the word 'thug' was used exclusively to refer to white people.

There were so few black people around, if it hadn't been used for white people it wouldn't have been used at all.

Generic Dreadhead

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/my-dads-heart-was-broken-when-he-saw-me-brave-emma-murphy-on-familys-reaction-to-domestic-abuse-claims-31364127.html

“My dad’s heart was broken when he saw me, that’s the way a dad should be,” she told the Dublin Gazette newspapers.
“I just want to protect [my kids] and to show them that this is not acceptable from anyone.
“It’s not acceptable to touch a woman.”

I'll probably be lynched by the mob for this but....

Jesus, she's some awful f**king sexist

brooke 2

zeffabelli wrote: »

It's important because it may be what's feeding the public response.

The stereotypes are at play, even at a subliminal level where people are not consciously aware of how they are making judgements.

In these cases "character" becomes as important as the deed itself, maybe more so.

I imagine her black eye is the main thing which is feeding the public response.

Means Of Escape

MakeEmLaugh wrote: »

When I was growing up, the word 'thug' was used exclusively to refer to white people.

There were so few black people around, if it hadn't been used for white people it wouldn't have been used at all.

Attributed predominantly to skinheads and loutish behaviour in Britain

brooke 2

Mightydrumming wrote: »

You are simply disgusting. It's becoming even more evident that you have never been involved in a domestic situation yourself.

I honestly believe that guy is her partner
posting on here. He has been defending the lowlife since the beginning.

Annasopra

Cormac... wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/my-dads-heart-was-broken-when-he-saw-me-brave-emma-murphy-on-familys-reaction-to-domestic-abuse-claims-31364127.html


I'll probably be lynched by the mob for this but....

Jesus, she's some awful f**king sexist

What the...?

She's sexist for saying a father should genuinely care if his daughter is beaten up?

Means Of Escape

brooke 2 wrote: »

I honestly believe that guy is her partner
posting on here. He has been defending the lowlife since the beginning.

Excellent examples of trying to defend the indefensible .

Generic Dreadhead

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

What the...?

She's sexist for saying a father should genuinely care if his daughter is beaten up?

Hello and thanks for joining us on the thread.

I'm pretty sure my comment is now out of context.

Point being you can extrapolate these types of things out to suit any of the "Sexism" fist waving agendaists here.

So since everyones band wagoning with the whole "Domestic Violence is not ok to EITHER men or women", which I completely agree with, I thought to point out it flows a lot of ways. If I a guy had made those types of comments, the baying mob on here would have a f**king field day.

Why aren't we all crying out for her to say

"that’s the way a PARENT should be,”
“It’s not acceptable to touch a PERSON.” etc etc, ad nauseam

brooke 2

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Astonished for what reason exactly?



People that make ranting videos and post them online usually are regarded that way.

She would been seen as a bunny boiler had she made the video I describe.

Well, she is obviously a very bright girl
because she got her message across very well. She said repeatedly that she loved him and still does. Some of the listeners to Adrian Kennedy were actually concerned that she might return to her partner. She stated that she did not want to keep him away from their children. He was the one who chose to stay away from his family on Father's Day weekend!! With another woman - classy!! He had already psychologically tortured her. There is no doubt about that. But, that was not enough for him - he had to physically assault her also. I sincerely hope she never goes back to him.

Pumpkinseeds

I've watched the video and, hand on heart, everything about her body language tells me she's not being entirely honest. She can't even maintain eye contact. It just appears to be a vindictive woman determined to destroy the guy who cheated on her. I think she was feeling humiliated and she decided that since he'd hurt and humiliated her, she'd go and do the same to him. I find the video a bit nauseating because she's put her son in it, she's given the names of her children and that removes their anonymity.

She cries, which doesn't seem sincere, amongst other things, about how her children will know that their father hits her. Yeah, they'll know because she's plastered it all over the internet. So, after reviewing the posts and her video I think she's just a vindictive bitch who is probably going to cash in on this whole thing and get herself some third rate media job out of it. Most of you watched the video and somehow found her sincere, which shocks me. All I see is a manipulative woman lashing out and using her kids as a weapon. Even things like saying now the kids dad won't be there for them now? So presumably she's intending to stop him seeing his kids as well. Yeah, I'm done now, I think I understand why so many Irish guys prefer to date foreign women, they must not be as fcukwitted as the Irish ones who believe yer woman. Knock yourselves out ladies, I won't be visiting this thread again.