Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

mikom

Interestingly yer man tweeted on Apr 18th............ "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

Pumpkinseeds

I haven't looked at the video or media reports, so I'm just going by the posts. But does this woman have any evidence to substantiate her claim that he gave her the black eye or is this just people taking her word for it?

rolexeagle1

mikom wrote: »

Interestingly yer man tweeted on Apr 18th............ "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

In relation to what?

Mightydrumming

bucketybuck wrote: »

Posting videos to the lynch mob on Facebook and doing radio interviews are not the correct way to handle being the victim of a crime. It wouldn't be the first time baying mobs went after somebody despite not having all the details and the damage done can be not insignificant.

Vigilante justice is no justice at all, especially when fueled by the "U OK BABE" brigade.

To be honest, from my point of view - I haven't seen anything like this on Facebook before. Hence why I think it's affective. As it was stated earlier in the thread, in this day and age - the Gardaí most likely wouldn't have done much. We don't know if she went to them before posting the video. I think it's a great first step in bringing the 'big hard' men to justice.

She had a choice whether or not she wanted to post the video, she decided to post it - Kudos to her I think

bucketybuck

Mightydrumming wrote: »

To be honest, from my point of view - I haven't seen anything like this on Facebook before. Hence why I think it's affective. As it was stated earlier in the thread, in this day and age - the Gardaí most likely wouldn't have done much. We don't know if she went to them before posting the video. I think it's a great first step in bringing the 'big hard' men to justice.

She had a choice whether or not she wanted to post the video, she decided to post it - Kudos to her I think

Effective?

How about asking, is it even true?

Riskymove

Mightydrumming wrote: »

To be honest, from my point of view - I haven't seen anything like this on Facebook before. Hence why I think it's affective. As it was stated earlier in the thread, in this day and age - the Gardaí most likely wouldn't have done much. We don't know if she went to them before posting the video. I think it's a great first step in bringing the 'big hard' men to justice.

She had a choice whether or not she wanted to post the video, she decided to post it - Kudos to her I think

on the flip side a concern must be that this will end with the man getting off it ends up in court due to the publicity and difficulties getting a fair trial etc.

blue note

If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

Drumpot

NachoBusiness wrote: »

As I said earlier: there is a time and a place to release videos and pictures of your injuries to the public and that is when your effort at seeking justice through the correct avenues have been exhausted and you have some real advice to give women and what it is that they need to do should they unfortunately find themselves in similar circumstances.

A woman was allegedly beaten, her marriage is probably over and its most definitely effected her children.

Yet you feel compelled to start a debate about the manner in which she communicated it ? You think a person who possibly suffered mental and physical abuse should be able to take rational/objective and conservative actions when carefully considering how to deal with this trauma ?

That's presuming anybody else actually has an issue with the manner in which she chose to communicate her story . . Which she is entitled to do . .

Mightydrumming

bucketybuck wrote: »

Effective?

How about asking, is it even true?

Well as of now, the man in question hasn't disagreed with the claims. He deleted all social media. If I was wrongly accused of such allegations, my first order of business would be to come out and tell my side of the story.

bucketybuck

blue note wrote: »

If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

If he is innocent the damage is already done. That he can sue for defamation would be of little use at that point.

bucketybuck

Mightydrumming wrote: »

Well as of now, the man in question hasn't disagreed with the claims. He deleted all social media. If I was wrongly accused of such allegations, my first order of business would be to come out and tell my side of the story.

What, go on Jeremy Kyle and tell his side of the story? You can't respond to a mob, the chances of anything you say being believed is next to zero.

Maybe he is guilty, I have no idea, but damn sure this isn't the way to go about proving it.

Mightydrumming

Riskymove wrote: »

on the flip side a concern must be that this will end with the man getting off it ends up in court due to the publicity and difficulties getting a fair trial etc.

I agree with that 100% but maybe the woman in question didn't want to go through the courts and let it drag out. I believe she has already got justice on the hard man, a lot more than what the courts would or could have done.

Riskymove

mikom wrote: »

Interestingly yer man tweeted on Apr 18th............ "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

so he is a plagiarist too heh?

Mightydrumming

bucketybuck wrote: »

What, go on Jeremy Kyle and tell his side of the story? You can't respond to a mob, the chances of anything you say being believed is next to zero.

Maybe he is guilty, I have no idea, but damn sure this isn't the way to go about proving it.

Agree to disagree Bucket. You have your opinions, I have mine.

Riskymove

Mightydrumming wrote: »

I agree with that 100% but maybe the woman in question didn't want to go through the courts and let it drag out. I believe she has already got justice on the hard man, a lot more than what the courts would or could have done.

one of the sites says that she reported him to the Guards a day or two before releasing the video

shakencat

The guards see her injury as minor and wouldn't help her.

Riskymove

shakencat wrote: »

The guards see her injury as minor and wouldn't help her.

jaysus...can that be backed up with a source?

I've seen assault charges for less than that

shakencat

she herself said it on the radio last night and this morning, as have her friends, and family..

so she did try to go other ways about it and couldn't get help.


(other than her brothers want to break his legs)

Mightydrumming

Would that be on 98FM? I'm having a listen to the podcast now.

shakencat

Mightydrumming wrote: »

Would that be on 98FM? I'm having a listen to the podcast now.

i know its on 98fm podcast with adrian....

Not a NSA agent

blue note wrote: »

If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

A court saying he is innocent wont go viral though. Someone might put up an irish times link to the article in this thread, it will get a few more pages and then thats it.

If he is guilty I have no sympathy but we are only hearing one of the parties involved. There's a huge difference between punching your spouse when arguing and punching your spouse after they go at you with a knife, not saying that's what happened but just an example of a situation were the person with the black eye wouldn't be the victim. Much like with sexual assault claims I feel uneasy about destroying a persons life based on something one person claimed, it wouldn't be the first or last time someone has done it. This man could be guilty of innocent but the damage is already done and most people will view him as guilty regardless of any court cases.

eviltwin

Riskymove wrote: »

jaysus...can that be backed up with a source?

I've seen assault charges for less than that

It's a domestic. I've seen victims with worse injuries and the gardai can't help. You can't lock someone up indefinitely for an assault and when they share a home and kids what can be done?

Riskymove

eviltwin wrote: »

It's a domestic. I've seen victims with worse injuries and the gardai can't help. You can't lock someone up indefinitely for an assault and when they share a home and kids what can be done?

jaysus surely you can still be charged with assault and get whatever penalty you get if found guilty

It would surely help with a barring order and future protections for the family?

are we suggesting there is no consequence at all to giving a partner a black eye?

NachoBusiness

Drumpot wrote: »

A woman was allegedly beaten, her marriage is probably over and its most definitely effected her children.

Yes, allegedly, but I don't care if it was a woman or a man. Makes no odds to me.

Had a man with a black eye posted a video to FB, with his kids running around in the background, saying his wife hit him with something and how the kids will one day know their mammy hit their daddy and was giving advice to other men on what they should do should their wives be hitting them, just two days after the altercation, with no mention of the authorities having been contacted, I would say that he too should not have posted the video up online at that stage.

Yet you feel compelled to start a debate about the manner in which she communicated it ? You think a person who possibly suffered mental and physical abuse should be able to take rational/objective and conservative actions when carefully considering how to deal with this trauma ?

No, not particularly but just because her actions might be borne from irrationality, doesn't make them immune from criticism. It's about time people stopped using social media to remedy problems in their life that are best dealt with by the authorities. She has done herself no favours. No putting the toothpaste back in tube now.

eviltwin

Riskymove wrote: »

jaysus surely you can still be charged with assault and get whatever penalty you get if found guilty

It would surely help with a barring order and future protections for the family?

are we suggesting there is no consequence at all to giving a partner a black eye?

What happens in the meantime while you're waiting for a court date, living with someone who may be putting pressure on you to drop charges? Most assault victims don't live with their attackers, that's why domestic violence is so different and difficult to deal with. You think every man or woman living with this is not doing enough to get out or that it's easy to deal with?

Riskymove

eviltwin wrote: »

What happens in the meantime while you're waiting for a court date, living with someone who may be putting pressure on you to drop charges? Most assault victims don't live with their attackers, that's why domestic violence is so different and difficult to deal with. You think every man or woman living with this is not doing enough to get out or that it's easy to deal with?

?

my concerns are at the guards refusal to charge/prosecute because "its a domestic"

I'm not sure what you are asking of me here?

eviltwin

Riskymove wrote: »

?

my concerns are at the guards refusal to charge/prosecute because "its a domestic"

I'm not sure what you are asking of me here?

I'm not asking you anything just pointing out that you have a lot of faith in the justice system if you think anyone who gets a black eye from their partner will get much support from gardai.

Riskymove

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm not asking you anything just pointing out that you have a lot of faith in the justice system if you think anyone who gets a black eye from their partner will get much support from gardai.

well I think my point is that they should investigate every complaint and charge someone if the evidence is there

I appreciate the difficulties and the possibility of dropped charges and false claims and everything else butif the Gardaí are really just saying "sorry its a domestic and we don't deal with them" then that is a really serious situation.

Pumpkinseeds

blue note wrote: »

If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

How exactly does he prove it if she's lying? There are no witnesses, other than the kids, if indeed he did hit her and if the kids did see it. It's a case of he said she said.

LollipopJimmy

That video pissed me off no end. I say this as a male and a victim of fairly serious domestic abuse including violence with weapons and mental abuse which led me to destroy almost every relationship I've been in since.

She spoke a lot about how a man shouldn't hit a woman in a relationship. Sorry lady, nobody in a relationship should be raising a hand to their partner, affairs or not. She said she threw his phone, did she throw it at him? Was she violent towards him? The impression I get from her video is she thinks it's ok for a woman to hit a man. I'm not condoning for a second what he did, the man is clearly scum. But standards need to be the same on both sides

It's not and if a woman hits me again the way I was abused before I will be giving the same back. But I can see the signs now and won't put myself in that situation again

Riskymove

LollipopJimmy wrote: »

She said she threw his phone, did she throw it at him? Was she violent towards him?

I think she said she "went through his phone" i.e. found some evidence if cheating

NachoBusiness

Does anyone have a link to the 98FM show she was on.

Their website is impossible to find anything on.

blue note

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

How exactly does he prove it if she's lying? There are no witnesses, other than the kids, if indeed he did hit her and if the kids did see it. It's a case of he said she said.

If it's a case of he said she said then I'd say he might very well win a court case. I'd imagine she'd need some evidence to prove that she was hit.

denhaagenite

LollipopJimmy wrote: »

if a woman hits me again the way I was abused before I will be giving the same back. But I can see the signs now and won't put myself in that situation again

Glad you can see the signs but I would sincerely advise you not to raise your hand to anyone, under any circumstances, because if you do then it won't do you any favours.

Pumpkinseeds

blue note wrote: »

If it's a case of he said she said then I'd say he might very well win a court case. I'd imagine she'd need some evidence to prove that she was hit.

I doubt it's that simple. I have no sympathy for her tbh. She should have gone to the gardai and reported it. Now she's dragging her kids through a public free for all between her and their father. Public muck slinging is what it is and I don't think that it does help victims of domestic violence. Of course nobody should be violent towards their partner, male of female. This whole thing smacks of vindictiveness for his cheating. She may of course be telling the truth, I don't know, as just like everyone else on the planet, I wasn't a witness to the incident.

Mightydrumming

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Does anyone have a link to the 98FM show she was on.

Their website is impossible to find anything on.

http://www.98fm.com/podcasts/Dublin_Talks/98FMs_Dublin_Talks/37894/Emma_The_woman_behind_the_domestic_abuse_video

Drumpot

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I doubt it's that simple. I have no sympathy for her tbh. She should have gone to the gardai and reported it. Now she's dragging her kids through a public free for all between her and their father. Public muck slinging is what it is and I don't think that it does help victims of domestic violence. Of course nobody should be violent towards their partner, male of female. This whole thing smacks of vindictiveness for his cheating. She may of course be telling the truth, I don't know, as just like everyone else on the planet, I wasn't a witness to the incident.

So you:

• have no sympathy for her
• believe its a case of public muck slinging
• believe this smacks of vindictiveness

But admit:

• she may be telling the truth
• you weren't a witness to the incident

Do you see anything wrong with your post ? Anything at all ?

eviltwin

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Does anyone have a link to the 98FM show she was on.

Their website is impossible to find anything on.

It's on the Adrian and Jeremy Facebook page

Pumpkinseeds

Drumpot wrote: »

So you:

• have no sympathy for her
• believe its a case of public muck slinging
• believe this smacks of vindictiveness

But admit:

• she may be telling the truth
• you weren't a witness to the incident

Do you see anything wrong with your post ? Anything at all ?

I haven't 'admitted' anything matey. I merely pointed out that there are 2 sides to the story. If you believe every accusation you hear you might want to check if there's 'anything wrong' with you 'anything at all'

Mightydrumming

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I have no sympathy for her tbh.

Your opinion.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

She should have gone to the gardai and reported it.

She did. The Gardaí classed the case as 'minor'.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

She may of course be telling the truth, I don't know, as just like everyone else on the planet, I wasn't a witness to the incident.

Not everyone. She clearly stated on an interview that her friend witnessed one of many incidents.


Please get the facts right before you rant utter sh!te.

Specialun

What if she is telling lies ..no way back for the guy then..surely she could have waited for him to be charged

LollipopJimmy

Given she has gone so public now would reporting him to the Guards be a waste of time?

She also posted the vid on what seems to be a business page. Those products are part of a pyramid scheme too.

youtube!

Found that really hard to watch to be perfectly honest, what kind of utter bastardd would do this to another human being?

I know some will say they have no sympathy for her and she should have gone to the Gards etc but when you are in a situation like this I can imagine that perhaps you are too emotionally scarred to think straight.

This was a cry for help as far as I am concerned and I wish that lady all the very best in the future,as for that Narcissistic bully of a boyfriend, hope she does contact the Garda and he sees jail time...maybe then he will come across a few guys that he won't be so quick to punch .

Mightydrumming

Specialun wrote: »

she could have waited for him to be charged

As it has been mentioned multiple times in this thread now, the Gardaí have classed the case as minor. She would then have to possibly wait years to get anywhere with the case.

If I was in her shoes, went to the guards and be told it was a 'minor' case.. I would be furious. I would certainly not wait until he got charged.

Specialun

Mightydrumming wrote: »

As it has been mentioned multiple times in this thread now, the Gardaí have classed the case as minor. She would then have to possibly wait years to get anywhere with the case.

If I was in her shoes, went to the guards and be told it was a 'minor' case.. I would be furious. I would certainly not wait until he got charged.

Did she mention it in her video? If not then why didnt she

Mightydrumming

Specialun wrote: »

Did she mention it in her video?

No I'm sure talking about the Gardaí was not on her top list of priorities.

Specialun wrote: »

If not then why didnt she

If you have a look at the link above in the thread, you will find the interview of her talking about the Gardaí.

Specialun

Mightydrumming wrote: »

No I'm sure talking about the Gardaí was not on her top list of priorities.




If you have a look at the link above in the thread, you will find the interview of her talking about the Gardaí.

Tried..wont work on my ipad

Gatling

If it's on Facebook it must be true .


It has to be ,

Couldn't not ,

Possibly not ,

Possibly is ,

Because if it's on Facebook there could only be truth!!!

jimdublin15

I listed to the interview this morning. In the end she said she throw the phone at him in the gym, so in return/reaction she coped a smack in the eye . I don't think either of them deserved that and she came off worse from picking that last physical fight.

You know it's difficult when your in a situation with domestic abuse be it physical and/or mentally abuse. I was in that situation including physical abuse for nearly 2 years and it just keep getting worse and worse step by step and it's very difficult as you end up feeling highly isolated and alone. For me Iit ended when I was hurt in front of my kids and I dealt with this via the cops and with support from AMEN.ie
Now I do have empathy for her and the situation she has found herself in, but she should not have picked the last fight, that's one for me falls under it takes two to tango. I also would not have put my kids in the video , but that's just me. I dealt with the situation via the legal route and support.

Despite me not agreeing with what she did to end her situation or the fight she started by being violent towards her abuser, I do understand how desperate the situation may have seemed for her, I know it did for me particularly as being I man I thought I would be the only one and not be taken seriously but I found I was not alone in the end I got the support I needed, the cops took my situation very seriously and was helped from the moment i reported it. Now and then I see a report go by and it reminds me of what happened to me such as stories like this lady today and reports being published on abuse. http://www.breakingnews.ie/sponsored/amen8217s-support-kept-me-alive-says-man-who-escaped-domestic-violence-166.html

I would if I did ever speak to her, wish her and the kids all the best.

frostyjacks

Something about this doesn't sit right with me. She's trying to do the right thing, but going the wrong way about it. I'd say she has agents queuing up to represent her now it's gone international.