Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

TwoShedsJackson

Makai Kind Theory wrote: »

I'm just curious, but how would you have phrased that sentence differently?

Well, a comma might have helped:

who is due to become a father for the third time this week, with another woman.

1800

PucaMama wrote: »

On what do you base your claim of "many evil women"??

I forgot this is Ireland. If youre a woman you cannot be bad, evil or a criminal. It must have been a man forcing you to do bad things or abusing you. If a woman murders in this country all she will get is a couple of years if that, in the Dochas centre which is like living in a 3 star Travel Lodge.

Mightydrumming

frostyjacks wrote: »

She's set a really bad example to future victims of domestic violence by subverting the proper channels.

You see, that's where you are completely wrong. The video has over 9,866,158 views from both her personal and business page. Would you ever consider that some man or woman that watched that video decided if she could come out, so can I?

A lot of people keep saying 'oh well she didn't go through the right channels'.

She did. She went to the Gardaí, informed them of the incident and they classed it as a minor case. (Can you imagine this is probably my 4th or 5th time to say this here??).

So what would you expect her to do after being told that? Would you just go back home, wait until you get another few shiners or even worse?

Funnily enough the Gardaí have now decided to investigate the situation seen as it has got a few million views. If she strolled out of the station that Friday and gave up, do you think he wouldn't hit her again?

Robsweezie

i had a gut feeling as soon as i saw her children in the video, people were going to make this a race thing. which is disappointing.

1800

Trudiha wrote: »

Victims of slander, also have the protection of the law and access to 'the proper channels'.

People will always believe in no smoke without fire. It doesnt matter about defamation this mans business and livelyhood has already been destroyed.

Look at the mob comments under the video and see if those people would care if he won a defamation case.

frostyjacks

Did the fact that he was having a child with another woman cloud her judgement? I imagine, if she was hoping to have 'the perfect family' with this man, that it must have been a bitter pill to swallow. It would explain why she took the nuclear option.

Mightydrumming

Robsweezie wrote: »

i had a gut feeling as soon as i saw her children in the video, people were going to make this a race thing. which is disappointing.

It is, it's a pity. I would never think by looking at a coloured person 'oh well he could hit me'.

Pumpkinseeds

Robsweezie wrote: »

i had a gut feeling as soon as i saw her children in the video, people were going to make this a race thing. which is disappointing.

Well, they've thrown just about every other kind of **** at the guy, it was only a matter of time before that one raised it's ugly head. Astonishing how so many people will believe anything without any actual evidence to back it up. Still, a lot of people used to be convinced that the earth was flat.:D

Mightydrumming

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Well, they've thrown just about every other kind of **** at the guy, it was only a matter of time before that one raised it's ugly head. Astonishing how so many people will believe anything without any actual evidence to back it up. Still, a lot of people used to be convinced that the earth was flat.:D

So I'm guessing your on the band wagon as well that thinks 'well eh... she fell' yeah?

Is a black eye not enough evidence for you? Is her story in the video not believable enough?

Electric Sheep

I gather that the incident happened outside the gym owned by the ex. I wonder if there is CCTV coverage that could help the gardai with their enquiries.

1800

This can be summarised as:

- They have kids
- Man cheats on woman and gets mistress pregnant
- Woman confronts man at his place of work, throws mobile phone at him, he pushes or hits her and she falls
- Woman posts FB and ruins mans business and life
- Woman gets job with the Irish Independent ????

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Cold War Kid

The guy should be given the benefit of the doubt, but saying there's no cause to believe her (and acting as if he is *definitely* innocent when there is a strong chance he isn't) is highly dishonest. The stuff about "Women do this kind of thing" just indicates axe-grinding.

Digital Society

Robsweezie wrote: »

i had a gut feeling as soon as i saw her children in the video, people were going to make this a race thing. which is disappointing.

Its a pity that she was probably just trying to be a progressive liberal by being in a relationship with a black man but ended up feeding into the stereotype.

Trudiha

1800 wrote: »

People will always believe in no smoke without fire. It doesnt matter about defamation this mans business and livelyhood has already been destroyed.

Look at the mob comments under the video and see if those people would care if he won a defamation case.

It's pretty much the same after you've been punched in the face by a partner. It really doesn't matter if someone gets a fine or a conditional discharge at a later date, you've got a sore face, your confidence is destroyed. Victims often lose their homes and a good chunck of their income.

Mightydrumming

1800 wrote: »

Woman gets job with the Irish Independent ????

Elaborate?

MrWalsh

Trudiha wrote: »

It's pretty much the same after you've been punched in the face by a partner. It really doesn't matter if someone gets a fine or a conditional discharge at a later date, you've got a sore face, your confidence is destroyed. Victims often lose their homes and a good chunck of their income.

Accordíng to a radio interview mentioned earlier in the thread she said that when they fought they hit each other, so perhaps he has been punched in the face by her also?

Cold War Kid

Digital Society wrote: »

Its a pity that she was probably just trying to be a progressive liberal by being in a relationship with a black man but ended up feeding into the stereotype.

I'd say she ended up in a relationship with him and having children with him because she liked him, rather than to be a "progressive liberal".

Pumpkinseeds

Mightydrumming wrote: »

So I'm guessing your on the band wagon as well that thinks 'well eh... she fell' yeah?

Is a black eye not enough evidence for you? Is her story in the video not believable enough?

I don't know how many times I have to say that NO, a black eye is not evidence of domestic abuse. It's a black eye, as simple as that. I didn't see him hit her and neither did any other poster in this forum. All this hatred people have for a stranger is bizarre. As for people saying he can use the courts to prove his innocence, I hope if he does choose that avenue that he doesn't end up with any of you posters as his jurers.

It doesn't matter what he says, you've all decided that he's filth and that she's some sort of evangelical crusading poster child for battered women. You really can't accept the possibilty that she might just be a vindictive bitch who is pissed at him for cheating on her and who wants to fcuk up his life. You see, I can accept that she could be entirely sincere, but I can also acknowledge that she might just be lying. Whatever, she's certainly cashing in on it now.

PopePalpatine

Cold War Kid wrote: »

The guy should be given the benefit of the doubt, but saying there's no cause to believe her (and acting as if he is *definitely* innocent when there is a strong chance he isn't) is highly dishonest. The stuff about "Women do this kind of thing" just indicates axe-grinding.

I guess I could smell Doritos and B.O. from somewhere...I think I recognise this smell from the thread on Ched Evans.

SpaceSasqwatch

over 400 posts of gossip

ffs :rolleyes:

frostyjacks

Mightydrumming wrote: »

Elaborate?

Didn't Mairia Cahill get a gig with the Indo after her fifteen minutes?

Trudiha

MrWalsh wrote: »

Accordíng to a radio interview mentioned earlier in the thread she said that when they fought they hit each other, so perhaps he has been punched in the face by her also?

He doesn't seem to have reported an assult or to have a black eye.

1800

Trudiha wrote: »

He doesn't seem to have reported an assult or to have a black eye.

He has 2 black eyes.

boom

Trudiha

It takes quite a degree of cognitive dissonance to disbelieve someone who claims to be a victim of assault while suggesting, someone who has made no such claim, has been assaulted.

P. Breathnach

I watched the video. I don't think it is about vengeance, or about advancing a legal action: it's about emancipation.

The hardest thing about domestic abuse is that the victim is disempowered, and it is extremely difficult to say "Enough! I'm out of here, and not coming back". Those who work with victims of domestic abuse are familiar with the phenomenon of victims forgiving their abusers and going back into bad situations. It is, in part, due to the loss of self-esteem that has resulted from the abuse.

This woman has taken her life back in a very public way, and created for herself a set of circumstances where she pretty well cannot go back into a relationship that is bad.

Boom_Bap

1800 wrote: »

He has 2 black eyes.

boom

MOD NOTE: Take these racist comments elsewhere. Do not post in this thread again.

Mightydrumming

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I don't know how many times I have to say that NO, a black eye is not evidence of domestic abuse. It's a black eye, as simple as that. I didn't see him hit her and neither did any other poster in this forum.

So could you clarify what would be the necessary evidence that would be satisfactory for you?

It took a ton of courage to post that video, you and your friends don't seem to understand that. And for her to be shot down, called a liar, a vindictive bitch and to be 'milking' it is down right unacceptable.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

You see, I can accept that she could be entirely sincere

I'm not sure you can Pumpkin. Your posts are not that evident.

The likes of you are the reason why there are so many men and women in abusive relationships that are afraid to come out and tell the truth.

Disgusting.

steddyeddy

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I don't know how many times I have to say that NO, a black eye is not evidence of domestic abuse. It's a black eye, as simple as that. I didn't see him hit her and neither did any other poster in this forum. All this hatred people have for a stranger is bizarre. As for people saying he can use the courts to prove his innocence, I hope if he does choose that avenue that he doesn't end up with any of you posters as his jurers.

It doesn't matter what he says, you've all decided that he's filth and that she's some sort of evangelical crusading poster child for battered women. You really can't accept the possibilty that she might just be a vindictive bitch who is pissed at him for cheating on her and who wants to fcuk up his life. You see, I can accept that she could be entirely sincere, but I can also acknowledge that she might just be lying. Whatever, she's certainly cashing in on it now.

It's the nature of the allegation PS. If this person is lying and looking for attention she's sick and she needs to be sued. The problem is when someone is a victim of domestic abuse and there's kids involved we need to er on the side of caution. Most of the time this abuse goes unheard.

Means Of Escape

1800 wrote: »

This can be summarised as:

- They have kids
- Man cheats on woman and gets mistress pregnant
- Woman confronts man at his place of work, throws mobile phone at him, he pushes or hits her and she falls
- Woman posts FB and ruins mans business and life
- Woman gets job with the Irish Independent ????

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Or summarised as this

-She carried and gave birth to his two children.
-Man disrespects her by having an affair
-Woman understandably is upset and throws a phone at him,he lands her a haymaker into the eye which sends her to the floor
-Woman posts FB to reveal the thug and makes him clear off in shame
-Woman shows that others in the same situation should speak out Irish Independent carries her story.

Fury is real

strelok

why is he a thug when she assaulted him with a weapon?

NachoBusiness

Boring username wrote: »

I'm surprised boards has left this thread open as Gardai are currently investigating the assault.

Well both parties have gone public and (as of yet, at least) it's not before the courts, so tbf, I think Boards would get a hell of lot more stick if the prevented discussion of the topic.

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I watched the video. I don't think it is about vengeance, or about advancing a legal action: it's about emancipation.

You've watched far too much Oprah.

PucaMama wrote: »

..this is boards, where a man is never wrong and women are never victims.

The irony of that sentence

Means Of Escape

strelok wrote: »

why is he a thug when she assaulted him with a weapon?

Illegal to carry a phone then if it's a weapon.

P. Breathnach

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I watched the video. I don't think it is about vengeance, or about advancing a legal action: it's about emancipation.

NachoBusiness wrote: »

You've watched far too much Oprah.

If you want to counter my interpretation, you need more than a piece of smart-assery.

4friggA

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Astonishing how so many people will believe anything without any actual evidence to back it up.

Oh the irony :pac:

There is an actual video of a woman showing injuries which she says she received from her ex partner and the gardai are investigating the matter as domestic abuse.
What evidence do you have to back up your claim to the contrary? What is the reasoning behind your desperation for this woman to be lying?

Electric Sheep

strelok wrote: »

why is he a thug when she assaulted him with a weapon?

Where are you getting that from? I have seen that a phone was thrown, I have not seen any allegation that it was thrown AT anyone. Do you have a link?

I don't see how people can characterise this woman as a vindictive bitch, out for revenge. I certainly don't see how anyone can confidently claim she's as bad as he is either. A small woman throwing a phone at a large man is oceans of enormity removed from a large man punching a small woman in the face. It certainly doesn't excuse him punching her, although his affairs are no excuse for her to throw anything at him either.

If he hurt her I hope he pays the price, but that price should be after careful examination of the case and a fair trial or hearing. There is nothing fair about exposing a crime to the wider world on facebook, nothing fair about her kids having to deal with the fallout from this when they're older, and nothing fair about trial by social media. I do understand the impluse to do it, I understand that she may not have been thinking straight, that she couldn't foresee how it would take off. But it's not the right way to handle it.

She may have had (and I think she did) good intentions in posting that video. But by all standards of civilised society it was the wrong thing to do, as this man has been judged, found guilty, and villified, and all without even answering his accuser. He can't win, he probably shouldn't, but he should have the chance to state his case before he's publicly convicted without trial.

A bad idea, for a multitude of reasons. I do have a lot of compassion for her though, if true, she must have gone through hell.

jimdublin15

Means Of Escape wrote: »

Illegal to carry a phone then if it's a weapon.

Anything can be used as a weapon

the_syco

Mightydrumming wrote: »

She did. She went to the Gardaí, informed them of the incident and they classed it as a minor case. (Can you imagine this is probably my 4th or 5th time to say this here??).

If you classed the assault as major, what would you class being shot?

Mightydrumming

Candie wrote: »

and all without even answering his accuser

He sent her a text.

Electric Sheep

Candie wrote: »

I don't see how people can characterise this woman as a vindictive bitch, out for revenge. I certainly don't see how anyone can confidently claim she's as bad as he is either. A small woman throwing a phone at a large man is oceans of enormity removed from a large man punching a small woman in the face. It certainly doesn't excuse him punching her, although his affairs are no excuse for her to throw anything at him either.

If he hurt her I hope he pays the price, but that price should be after careful examination of the case and a fair trial or hearing. There is nothing fair about exposing a crime to the wider world on facebook, nothing fair about her kids having to deal with the fallout from this when they're older, and nothing fair about trial by social media. I do understand the impluse to do it, I understand that she may not have been thinking straight, that she couldn't foresee how it would take off. But it's not the right way to handle it.

She may have had (and I think she did) good intentions in posting that video. But by all standards of civilised society it was the wrong thing to do, as this man has been judged, found guilty, and villified, and all without even answering his accuser. He can't win, he probably shouldn't, but he should have the chance to state his case before he's publicly convicted without trial.

The ex also has access to the print and social media, he has already given an interview. He has the chance to state his case if he chooses to do so. So far in the print media, he has confirmed that he has assaulted her, but seems to think a push sounds better than a punch.

4friggA

4friggA wrote: »

Oh the irony :pac:

There is an actual video of a woman showing injuries which she says she received from her ex partner and the gardai are investigating the matter as domestic abuse.
What evidence do you have to back up your claim to the contrary? What is the reasoning behind your desperation for this woman to be lying?

To be fair, there is no conclusive evidence in either the bruising or the video. I don't think she's lying, but it's not as clear cut as that either.

Allegations are not evidence, and this guy, although he's probably completely guilty, has not had anything approaching a fair hearing.

You can't convict people because you feel they did it, and because they're probably bad guys.

Mightydrumming

the_syco wrote: »

If you classed the assault as major, what would you class being shot?

This case is not minor.

Electric Sheep

Electric Sheep wrote: »

The ex also has access to the print and social media, he has already given an interview. He has the chance to state his case if he chooses to do so. So far in the print media, he has confirmed that he has assaulted her, but seems to think a push sounds better than a punch.

Personally I'd prefer to be pushed than punched, but none of that was my point.

The legal route is the way to go, regardless of how frustrated she is with it. There is no way he can get a fair trial now, so she's spoiled the pot and it'll probably never get that far.

NachoBusiness

There is a rather unfortunate video on YouTube of the guy slapping a woman and abusing her in an acting showreel from 2012. Watched it earlier but it has now been taken down. Surprised some of the papers didn't get their hands on it as they no doubt would have used some of the screenshots.

PucaMama

What about it? If she had him hitting her on video boards posters would still side with him

Mightydrumming

Mightydrumming wrote: »

He sent her a text.

He could have sent her a winning lottery ticket, but her actions still mean that he can't have a fair trial and his solicitor will never let it reach the courtroom.

That does much more harm than posting a video on facebook does good.

Mightydrumming

4friggA wrote: »

Oh the irony :pac:

Tell me about it :rolleyes:

4friggA wrote: »

What evidence do you have to back up your claim to the contrary? What is the reasoning behind your desperation for this woman to be lying?

I do believe Pumpkin (As was earlier stated) is either a friend of the partner in question or trying to win the argument. Failing I might add!

se02orqua5xz9v

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

It doesn't matter what he says, you've all decided that he's filth and that she's some sort of evangelical crusading poster child for battered women. You really can't accept the possibilty that she might just be a vindictive bitch who is pissed at him for cheating on her and who wants to fcuk up his life. You see, I can accept that she could be entirely sincere, but I can also acknowledge that she might just be lying. Whatever, she's certainly cashing in on it now.

And if it turns out she isn't lying, will you regret suggesting she may be a vindictive bitch?

Pumpkinseeds wrote:

Oh yes, it was right to say she might be a vindictive bitch until all the evidence was in. I needed proof before I could refrain from saying she might be a vindictive bitch.

Dogowner55

PucaMama wrote: »

What about it? If she had him hitting her on video boards posters would still side with him

Ah now if there was video proof of the big black man hitting the small blonde irish woman, from other threads I have seen on race stuff most of boards would be not be siding with him.

PucaMama

Dogowner55 wrote: »

Ah now if there was video proof of the big black man hitting the small blonde irish woman, from other threads I have seen on race stuff most of boards would be not be siding with him.

They would be rushing to show she provoked him and then edging in a men's rights slant on it