After weeks of mind frying im going no contact

SimonMc123

So have been "seeing" a girl i work with since april. It was going great loads in common, the works. After a while i decided maybe its best we wrap it up because we are young (IM 22 shes 18) and because she had a boyf for 2 years up until we hooked up a few weeks after her break up.

anyway, she seemed to accept it and i hadnt heard from her for a few days until she started messaging me again and next thing i knew it was back on. In fact we became even closer and our families had become aware of us being "together". During a moment of weakness i asked her to make it official if ya like and asked her out. Her eyes opened wide with disbelief but she asked if we could wait a while seeing as she was not long out of the other relationship.

Weeks had gone by of us going from days apart to spending days together as couples might. until as of lately we had been meeting less and less. I became insecure about how long things could last and found myself still waiting while wondering is she going off with every other lad on sort of a slut run you could call it.

Last night i spoke to another girl at work as i felt it was time to stop trying to read minds and get some sort of picture as to what was going on. The other girl was telling me that she was infact with other guys lately and she felt that the late night phone calls and meet ups were just this girls way of using me to replace her old ex boyfriend. I felt better, knowing what was going on but i also felt kind of used. This girl brought me to her and i started over committing myself.

As of this time i have decided to stop contacting her and not returning any messages i recieve from her. Today is a **** day.

Thoughts?? :L

tomwaterford

How are you going to get around not contacting her if you work with her??

Is this not just a friends with benefits type gig....(maybe that's how she views it??)

Deranged96

She's 18 and out of a relatively long-term relationship, you kinda got what you bargained for tbh.

The fact that she didn't want to go offical is a clear indication of her intentions. And seeing as ye never were offical, it's hard to hold anything against her.

If i were you I'd stop playing silly games, ask her if she's sleeping around ( without being condemning of it) and then cut off all contact, but finish it proper with her first.

As things stand your sulking based on hearsay and Inacting a sort of petty revenge by giving her the cold shoulder.

SimonMc123

Thats going to be the next issue. With how shifts worked out, it looks like i wont see her at work til next week. She text me today looking for something and i just ignored it.

Friends with benefits is what i would have called it if she hadnt introduced me to friends family etc. She seemed really in to me during parts

SimonMc123

Would you all agree that its over at this stage? Game playing is not what i want either im hoping not contacting her will cool down any feelings i still have

OneOfThem

Just ignoring her isn't very nice, as she hasn't done anything wrong. You just misread her intentions. Not nice when that happens but not entirely her fault. Just drop her a message saying "Mary, I understand you not wanting to get into a relationship so soon after your last one, but I'm not really looking for a casual thing. So best we just leave things. Was fun." Lick your wounds and be a man about it.

SimonMc123

Thanks everyone for your feedback

retro:electro

A bit off topic but please don't use the term "slut run" again, it's highly offensive. Would you use that term to describe men who have a few women on the go? I doubt it.

lazybones32

Do you want to be with her or not? This should determine what course of action you take.
If you want to be with her - say it. You complain of mind games but you don't do anything about it. She can't read your mind, same as you can't read hers.
If you don't want to be with her - let her know if /when she contacts you again. Let her contact you though. Be civil and most definitely be short!
Either way, you have to work with her whether you're a couple or not, so keep that in mind...try to anyway.


She isn't the most important aspect of this situation: you are. You need to know what you want and take the appropriate steps.

SimonMc123

I do want to be with her. Hard to deny it. Im thinkin of just acting as casual as I can for a bit let her do what she has to do and maybe try again in the future sometime.

CaraMay

You dumped her first and are now wondering why she won't commit to you?