Girlfriend Advice

LegacyUser

I've been seeing a girl for the last 3 months. On our second date we were walking between pubs and she farted out loud. She thought this was hilarious and started laughing. I didn't know what to do so just didn't say anything. Since then she does it quite a lot (including in bed!) and always starts giggling as if it's something really cute.

I'm not sure how to deal with this. I've kinda gently shown disapproval but should I just sit her down and say I don't like it? I'm afraid if I do that it will make things awkward between us and I really really like her.

She is from Poland is this a cultural thing from there i'm missing out on? I only ever had Irish girlfriends in the past and they only ever did it accidentally.

giggle84

Is this for real?! Your biggest problem is that your girlfriend farts like every other human on the planet?!! Do you actually expect her to hold in her farts around you for (potentially) the rest of her life?!!

LegacyUser

I know it's a normal body function, I would just like if she did it quietly.

Ann84

People have different levels of tolerance for these kinds of things... There was a guy here recently who's gf left the toilet with stains, some people are neat freaks, some people are messy...
I had an ex who was proud of farting... It was a complete turn off for me and I thought it was pretty rude, but that's me... We didn't break up over it but it's one thing I don't miss about him... but it was a sign of how little he wanted me to fancy him!!

All you can do is say it bothers you and you don't find it attractive, if they can't respect that... Are you going to be able to live with it?

xual

When I fart its like being hungover in a tent at electric picnic, with the morning sun baking your tent, while a badly fed Labrador is farting in your face.

Now call me old fashioned but that is hilarious. I would love a girlfriend that queefed a stinker every now and then. I'd hate to be stuck with someone who thinks nature is disgusting.

ihavenoname3

people who fart in public and think its funny are disgusting, rude and childish. I have gone out with women for years and never heard them fart and I wouldn't dream of doing it in their presence either. If I was in your situation I would be ending the relationship because i wouldn't want to be with someone who thought such behavior is acceptable.

sometimes even little things that might seem unimportant can really show you what another person is like.

dudara

@xual and walkingshadow I've deleted your off-topic and unhelpful posts. Please note that all posts in PI/RI should focus on offering helpful and constructive advice to the OP. Anything less is not an acceptable standard.

OP - people fart all the time. After all, our bodies have to balance the system somehow. Most sensible people will manage it discreetly when in public or even when sharing space with their partner. To expect no farting or noise is completely unrealistic, but it's not unrealistic to expect a bit of discretion.

I think you need to have a chat with her about how you find her farting (and her reaction to it) and why it makes you uncomfortable.

walkingshadow

dudara wrote: »

@xual and walkingshadow I've deleted your off-topic and unhelpful posts. Please note that all posts in PI/RI should focus on offering helpful and constructive advice to the OP. Anything less is not an acceptable standard.

OP - people fart all the time. After all, our bodies have to balance the system somehow. Most sensible people will manage it discreetly when in public or even when sharing space with their partner. To expect no farting or noise is completely unrealistic, but it's not unrealistic to expect a bit of discretion.

I think you need to have a chat with her about how you find her farting (and her reaction to it) and why it makes you uncomfortable.

We all defecate too, but would you find it acceptable for someone to squat down and release a steaming pile of excrement on a busy public street?

xual

We are on a thread... talking about... farts.

Leave her if you feel that bad about ( Sling me her number too )

OR

Get over it and fart yourself.

Two options. Do one or the other. As me father used to say "Its **** or burst time". Either hold on to it or let go.

xual

Crapping on the street is absolutely in the same category as farting. You were right to draw that comparison.

Vomiting and burping share the same hole

LegacyUser

...what age are you op? Just curious. If it bothers you that much just say it but I wouldn't expect a warm response..

Also,never have children as you will see you future wife's bits stretched beyond recognition and she may sh!t herself. Just a heads up

vertmann

Maybe I'm the freak here but I don't find farting and belching hilarious or something that's OK. I accept that they are bodily functions and that anyone can break wind or burp unintentionally. I think they're vulgar, especially farts. I don't enjoy having to smell someone else's arse gases and it's bad manners in my book. I would have no qualms about taking her aside and saying you don't think it's hilarious or even pleasant.

xual

vertmann wrote: »

Maybe I'm the freak here but I don't find farting and belching hilarious or something that's OK. I accept that they are bodily functions and that anyone can break wind or burp unintentionally. I think they're vulgar, especially farts. I don't enjoy having to smell someone else's arse gases and it's bad manners in my book. I would have no qualms about taking her aside and saying you don't think it's hilarious or even pleasant.

I think your reactions are hilarious. Like shaking a stick to a doggy, you people cannot hold yourselves back from expressing your precious, staunch, opinions.

Neyite

xual wrote: »

I think your reactions are hilarious. Like shaking a stick to a doggy, you people cannot hold yourselves back from expressing your precious, staunch, opinions.

Mod:

Enough of the digs at other posters. Its not acceptable here and the next time I see it, you WILL get a card or a ban. I strongly suggest you read the charter and abide by it before posting again.

CaraMay

It's not about the fart, it's about differing intimacy viewpoints. I don't need or want to hear anyone else fart (kids excluded) as I think it's pretty disgusting and certainly not charming or funny.

Op I would just say it out straight that you don't like what she's doing. I think it's fair enough to tell her.

hytrogen

Bottle it & sell it as "a fresh breeze from.." wherever she's from on Ebay. Meanwhile build a bridge and get over it!
Otherwise there's always farting competitions to be had between the sheets!!

DoYouEvenLift

I gotta admit, I laughed hard at your description of how she giggled about it and continues to as if it's cute. At least she was comfortable enough around you to not make a big deal out of something that's actually that, not a big deal (unless they're absolutely rotten smelly farts hahahaha). At least it means you're free to not have to hold them in as well? Eventually this was all going to happen anyway as you dated for longer so just look at it like that.

walkingshadow

My girlfriend cuts her toenails in the bath.

oakers

Are you kidding me. Myself and my partner score each other based on varying criteria!

stickyfinger

I think she has the right attitude to laugh when it happens, especially around her partner with whom she should feel at her most comfortable! Better out than in, and for some holding it in to be 'polite' can cause excruciating abdominal pains and bloating not just at the time but for hours afterwards. The fact is that it is a natural bodily function that is just going to happen, sometimes even unintentionally.

If you have a major problem with it you should say it to her. But personally I would not choose to be with someone who had such major problems with natural bodily functions and made me feel ashamed for farting or burping whether by accident or on purpose. It would make me wonder how you act around her when she has her period, or as another poster says if she ever has kids and of course down the years when both of you head into old age and it becomes uncontrollable no matter how much you attempt to keep it in/silent...

LegacyUser

Going anon for obvious reasons -

My ex girlfriend was pretty much like this person, but much worse. Farting wasn't much of an issue for me, because that's something that sometimes can't be helped, but she would make herself burp, even in public. You could sympathise somewhat if there was some condition that needed her to do so, but there wasn't. She wouldn't even apologise for her poor manners - she's do it in cafes, in restaurants, everywhere! It actually got quite embarrassing.

Carlos Orange

stickyfinger wrote: »

I think she has the right attitude to laugh when it happens, especially around her partner with whom she should feel at her most comfortable! Better out than in, and for some holding it in to be 'polite' can cause excruciating abdominal pains and bloating not just at the time but for hours afterwards. The fact is that it is a natural bodily function that is just going to happen, sometimes even unintentionally.

I'm pretty sure being normally discreet about farting doesn't usually lead to excruciating abdominal pains.

Some people aren't really that compatible (like the aforementioned guy with a gf who didn't clean the toilet after use). Maybe it will show up in other ways and be a deal clincher or one or both of them will adapt to be less bothered/bothersome.

vertmann

Exactly. Everyone breaks wind but most people try to do it when there's nobody downwind. I has the misfortune of walking past someone in the supermarket today who'd let rip and the stench was something else. I hope the culprit just had a dicky stomach because if they go around stinking the place up like that all the time they're very inconsiderate.

If you don't like your gf farting all the time then you're entitled to say it. Despite what you're reading here most people are discrete when they have to break wind. Otherwise we'd be walking around hearing and smelling farts all the time.

mojesius

I know what you mean OP.Proud farting is a massive turn off for me. The boyf of 4 years knows it and only lets the odd accidental one out after a few drinks. I know we're all humans and nature takes its course but decorum says a lot about a person. It would honestly be a deal breaker for me if he was queffing loudly and proudly early on in our relationship

But he knows it's a pet hate of mine. Communication is key. Tell your girlfriend honestly you just don't find it appealing.

zeffabelli

Eh yeah... It's one thing if it's just a natural eventuality... It's only human and animal... We tend not to like things that remind us we are animals...and we are the only animal to feel disgust...

But the giggling part and the doing it on purpose part is what 8 year olds do and think they are hilarious.... Immature.

I don't care if an adult farts but making a comedy routine around it would irritate me....

MagicMarker

I'd rather a loud harmless fart than a silent killer.

I farted in the gym yesterday, nobody heard a squeak but by god they knew about it quick enough.

woodchuck

MagicMarker wrote: »

I'd rather a loud harmless fart than a silent killer.

I farted in the gym yesterday, nobody heard a squeak but by god they knew about it quick enough.

Exactly, it's all well and good trying to be 'discrete' by controlling the noise, but you can't control/predict the smell.

So long as she's doing it because she actually needs to as opposed to doing it purely to be funny, I don't see what the issue is.

How long were you with your previous girlfriends who supposedly didn't fart OP? Did you ever live with them? It sounds to me like they were just holding it in during the 'honeymoon phase', but there are certain things you just can't hide forever.

hytrogen

oakers wrote: »

Are you kidding me. Myself and my partner score each other based on varying criteria!

Robotwars: style, control, speed & agression??
I.e. Flavour, pungence, thoroughness, durability, reaction time??

LegacyUser

Do you far in front of her? If not then fair enough to have a conversation about how you done find it appealing. However, if you do and just think women shouldn't then you need to have s think and see why you expect a woman to behave differently when darting is natural and most of the time can't be helped ...

xkariex

Do you far in front of her? If not then fair enough to have a conversation about how you done find it appealing. However, if you do and just think women shouldn't then you need to have s think and see why you expect a woman to behave differently when darting is natural and most of the time can't be helped ...

Heat_Wave

Deal breaker for me I'm afraid.

oakers

hytrogen wrote: »

Robotwars: style, control, speed & agression??
I.e. Flavour, pungence, thoroughness, durability, reaction time??

Is there CCTV in my apartment that I don't know about???

LOLZ, Normally noise based. The same goes for burps!

Jamaican Me Crazy

Breaking wind from either end is a bodily function and we all do it. Her reaction I think is more the issue. I rarely ever fart in front of my OH, that's just me. It would always be accidental and I would excuse myself. No problem.

I had an ex who had zero boundaries around bodily functions. Farts, burps, picking his feet and even pooping in front of me (nearly sent me to therapy), you name it he did it. It is disgusting. Some things are best kept private but it is also about compatibility. Some couples fart freely in front of each other and it doesn't bother either of them - cool, great, that works for them. If it bothers one person it is a problem.

Have a chat with her OP and without embarrassing her, tell her it bothers you a little and see can you agree something, she may not realise it bothers you. Hope it works out.

NicoleW85

xual wrote:

Now call me old fashioned but that is hilarious. I would love a girlfriend that queefed a stinker every now and then. I'd hate to be stuck with someone who thinks nature is disgusting.

That just made my day

kylith

Look, farting is natural; we all do it. I don't see any reason to act mortified when one occasionally slips out, and I think laughing it off is the best thing to do; excusing myself as I do so if I'm in polite company. If I'm with my partner, well, any guy I've been with hasn't seemed to have a problem with the odd trump - not to the extent of holding competitions but relaxed enough.

The best thing to do, I think, is just to say to her that you don't particularly find it funny and ask her to be more discreet in future.

And as others have said; wait till you have to deal with a woman with morning sickness, a stomach flu, or a toddler with diarrhoea and an ill-fitting nappy. You'll long for the days when the most gross thing you had to deal with was a loud fart.