Ryan Tubridy radio show thread

ButtersSuki

TheHomeService wrote: »

It never fails to amaze me how the wedding is always given more priority than the marriage.

At the risk of sounding sexist, you’re clearly a man!

ButtersSuki

I’m out. This is a candidate for worst show ever.

TheHomeService

ButtersSuki wrote: »

At the risk of sounding sexist, you’re clearly a man!

How very dare you. I am a person with a penis.

TheHomeService

More crying "texters".

TheHomeService

"What was you father's job?"

A Carpenter.

"Was he somebody who dressed well"?

WTAF!!!!!!

mistersifter

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Dear RTÉ,

That’s not very nice is it?

I can be pretty bonkers sometimes actually, for example once I went to a GAA game in Croke Patrick Park without wearing a GAA jersey.

I’ve also been to Dog’s Bay and Roundstone, and my grandmother had a framed and mounted picture of JFK in her kitchen.

Now can I have the job?

Regards,
ButtersSuki.

Thank you for informing us of the above. Once you have completed our practical test, which involves conducting a series of incompetent interviews with Z-list celebrities, you will be offered a contract that falsely claims you afer a contractor rather than an employee (this will allow you to evade income tax - also see artists' tax exemption for further opportunities here).

Please note your interview test will be judged on three key areas: 1. overall awkwardness of the conversation 2. lack of preparation and 3. demonstrable biases against anything that doesn't prescribe to your own deluded world-view.

Fortunately you will not need to practice for this test as we have a policy of not preparing for anything.

Yours sincerely,

Dee

TheHomeService

Free box of motivational quote cards.

TheHomeService

"We'll see you soon"

Another chum gets a plug.

ButtersSuki

mistersifter wrote: »

Thank you for informing us of the above. Once you have completed our practical test, which involves conducting a series of incompetent interviews with Z-list celebrities, you will be offered a contract that falsely claims you afer a contractor rather than an employee (this will allow you to evade income tax - also see artists' tax exemption for further opportunities here).

Please note your interview test will be judged on three key areas: 1. overall awkwardness of the conversation 2. lack of preparation and 3. demonstrable biases against anything that doesn't prescribe to your own deluded world-view.

Fortunately you will not need to practice for this test as we have a policy of not preparing for anything.

Yours sincerely,

Dee

Dear Dee,

I once asked a lady who had unbeknownst to me put on weight when she was due?

How’s that? Surely I’m a shoe in now?

Yours etc.,
ButtersSuki.

TheHomeService

Freebie Request List:

Trip to Iceland
Quiet Coffee Maker
Knife sharpener
Turntable Mat (received amongst other record player accessories)
Original Copy (and artwork) of Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas single (received in return for Arnotts Gift Card)


Freebie Received List:

Free Unknown volume of books
Free bespoke jewellery x 2
Free essential oils for mask
Free buns from Bewleys
Free trip on the navy ship
Free 8 Glasses cases
Free accessory for vinyl record player
Free flowers
Free Yop, Fruit of the Forest and Yakult
Free Holland and figges supply
Free Calm App
Free Scents of Ireland commercial air diffuser and scents
Free Epicurean Delights (i.e. Grub)
Free Watercolour
Free Candles
Free book about Elvis' comeback in 68
Free Waterford Famine Buke
Free pints
Free sweets from Shandons
Free loose leaf tea
Free bread knives
Free candles possibly wickless candles
Free teapot
Free vinyl (Beatles/McCarthy)
Free Tea brack
Free Cards
Free More cards (rejected - Catholics need not apply)
Free halloween masks
Free Cufflinks (monogrammed for Tubridy, of course)
Free fudge
Free Southern Star newspaper
Free Opinion magazine
Free Print from book (gorgeous, apparently)
Free crisps and earplugs
Free greetings cards
Free Beatles book
Free bottle with fairy lights
Free Hot Chocolate Bomb
Free Personalised Christmas Stocking
Free Novelty Mug
Free Handmade Scarf (moss green in colour, and long)
Free multiple handmade Christmas Cards
Free John Banville Book (delivered personally to him while shopping)
Free Barack Obama autobiography (extremely large and heavy)
Free box of Lindt chocolates (only 8 in box, Tubs not happy)
Free face mask from Chester Beatty
Free books
Free Paul McCartney poster
Free Aerial photography coffee table book
Free Christmas jumper
Free Waterford Festive Star (a magazine)
Free Holly Bough (a Cork annual)
Free Santa Beard Face Mask
Free chocolates from Bean & Goose (called out paucity of Lindt in their freebie, again)
Free Art from Trish Taylor Thompson (something visual)
Free Books (from “listener” doing her Marie Kondo clearout)
Free Shandon Sweets, again
Free invite to chess convention
Free Lighthouse Book
Free chess lessons
Free Book (Elf Isolation)
Free crate of Club Orange
Free bag of Marbles, but no "steelies", much to Tubs' chagrin.
Free Ireland's Own Annual
Free Band Aid vinyl single, with beautiful artwork (Tubridy checked artwork was included, before accepting it).
Free Paul McCartney - Back in the CCCP vinyl single.
Free Box of Turf
Free Puffin Christmas Decorations
Free Puffin Christmas Cards
Free Puffin T Shirt
Free meal in Kilmore Quay
Free Motivational Quote Cards


A big TYFYS to those who flag the freebies, and the requests.

mistersifter

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Dear Dee,

I once asked a lady who had unbeknownst to me put on weight when she was due?

How’s that? Surely I’m a shoe in now?

Yours etc.,
ButtersSuki.

This sounds promising.

Should your obvious lack of sensitivity and your inability to gauge the tone of a conversation be complemented by a morbid interest in disease and suffering, we would be happy to offer you the position of Joe Duffy's tea boy.

This role has a starting pay point of 350,000 euros per annum, and involves 7 months holidays per year.

Nerdlingr

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Here we go with the freebies - well done all who predicted same.

Pretty shoyte freebies actually.

and from Arnotts again .... how intriguing.

ButtersSuki

Nerdlingr wrote: »

and from Arnotts again .... how intriguing.

Arnotts and RTÉ “stars” / Noel Kelly’s flock have a healthy relationship alright. Even the great and noted orator Joseph Duffy gave a talk there a few years ago for a “small fee” :rolleyes: to invited guests so to speak.

I know how much that fee was, and it wasn’t small.

mistersifter

^^^ That's bonkers.

What in name of holy jaysus would Joe Duffy be giving a talk about, in Arnotts of all places?

ButtersSuki

mistersifter wrote: »

^^^ That's bonkers.

What in name of holy jaysus would Joe Duffy be giving a talk about, in Arnotts of all places?

Oh but it's true, I linked to it on The Liveline Thread when it occured. IT may have been something to do with 2016, or perhaps an Arnotts anniversary.

And of course there's this from earlier this year:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLrdmApazQM

You can bet your bottom dollar that wasn't made "4 cheap" as the Kool Kidz say.

KevRossi

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Arnotts and RTÉ “stars” / Noel Kelly’s flock have a healthy relationship alright. Even the great and noted orator Joseph Duffy gave a talk there a few years ago for a “small fee” :rolleyes: to invited guests so to speak.

I know how much that fee was, and it wasn’t small.

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Oh but it's true, I linked to it on The Liveline Thread when it occured. IT may have been something to do with 2016, or perhaps an Arnotts anniversary.

And of course there's this from earlier this year:

You can bet your bottom dollar that wasn't made "4 cheap" as the Kool Kidz say.

He doesn't get out of the bed* for under €12K, so I assume it was a hefty amount if he was there for a few hours.

*€12K for a quick photo op, with no promotion on Livleine. He'll stay for an hour max, take photos, will not mingle with the public. This is for a voluntary body.

Ash.J.Williams

Sir Oxman wrote: »

He's a McCartney fan not The Beatles for sure (esp. the schmaltzy dirge McCartney post-Beatles)

"ahaaaaaa Wings the band the beatles could have been"

dxhound2005

TheHomeService wrote: »

Freebie Request List:

Trip to Iceland
Quiet Coffee Maker
Knife sharpener
Turntable Mat (received amongst other record player accessories)
Original Copy (and artwork) of Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas single (received in return for Arnotts Gift Card)


Freebie Received List:

Free Unknown volume of books
Free bespoke jewellery x 2
Free essential oils for mask
Free buns from Bewleys
Free trip on the navy ship
Free 8 Glasses cases
Free accessory for vinyl record player
Free flowers
Free Yop, Fruit of the Forest and Yakult
Free Holland and figges supply
Free Calm App
Free Scents of Ireland commercial air diffuser and scents
Free Epicurean Delights (i.e. Grub)
Free Watercolour
Free Candles
Free book about Elvis' comeback in 68
Free Waterford Famine Buke
Free pints
Free sweets from Shandons
Free loose leaf tea
Free bread knives
Free candles possibly wickless candles
Free teapot
Free vinyl (Beatles/McCarthy)
Free Tea brack
Free Cards
Free More cards (rejected - Catholics need not apply)
Free halloween masks
Free Cufflinks (monogrammed for Tubridy, of course)
Free fudge
Free Southern Star newspaper
Free Opinion magazine
Free Print from book (gorgeous, apparently)
Free crisps and earplugs
Free greetings cards
Free Beatles book
Free bottle with fairy lights
Free Hot Chocolate Bomb
Free Personalised Christmas Stocking
Free Novelty Mug
Free Handmade Scarf (moss green in colour, and long)
Free multiple handmade Christmas Cards
Free John Banville Book (delivered personally to him while shopping)
Free Barack Obama autobiography (extremely large and heavy)
Free box of Lindt chocolates (only 8 in box, Tubs not happy)
Free face mask from Chester Beatty
Free books
Free Paul McCartney poster
Free Aerial photography coffee table book
Free Christmas jumper
Free Waterford Festive Star (a magazine)
Free Holly Bough (a Cork annual)
Free Santa Beard Face Mask
Free chocolates from Bean & Goose (called out paucity of Lindt in their freebie, again)
Free Art from Trish Taylor Thompson (something visual)
Free Books (from “listener” doing her Marie Kondo clearout)
Free Shandon Sweets, again
Free invite to chess convention
Free Lighthouse Book
Free chess lessons
Free Book (Elf Isolation)
Free crate of Club Orange
Free bag of Marbles, but no "steelies", much to Tubs' chagrin.
Free Ireland's Own Annual
Free Band Aid vinyl single, with beautiful artwork (Tubridy checked artwork was included, before accepting it).
Free Paul McCartney - Back in the CCCP vinyl single.
Free Box of Turf
Free Puffin Christmas Decorations
Free Puffin Christmas Cards
Free Puffin T Shirt
Free meal in Kilmore Quay
Free Motivational Quote Cards


A big TYFYS to those who flag the freebies, and the requests.

Free jam tomorrow.

On Ray Darcy this afternoon a mother was on, looking for a toy rabbit her daughter had seen on the Late Late Toy Show background display and had set her heart on. Ray asked her had she tried contacting LLS/RT, and she said she had no luck there. Seems the Count Kindness failed to respond, leaving poor child crying with disappointment. The mother mustn't have made the right connection. One of Ray's producers had helped set up the Toyman Show, and tried to track down the origin of the rabbit. It wasn't readily available, but she was able to locate such a rabbit *in a bookshop* of all places.... Ryan must be wetting himself.

KevRossi

Tubridy will be into that shop first thing in the morning and snatch it out of the kids hands as he wants it for himself.

KevRossi

KevRossi wrote: »

Tubridy will be into that shop first thing in the morning and snatch it out of the kids hands as he wants it for himself.

Think the bookshop is in Cark.

Uncharted

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Think the bookshop is in Cark.

The ' delicious ' bookshop Cat.

Please get it right.

.....because we like THAATT kind of thing around here.

Tpcl20

https://twitter.com/IrishTimes/status/1339322601609551873?s=20
To hospital with love. He could do twelve of these a day if he put his mind to it and he'd have the right to medical privacy of every hospitalised child in the country infringed before the year was out.

PieOhMy

There was an ad on 2 there during love/ hate for the ego black hole of Calcutta comming up on friday night. Much of it has already been recorded so I'm wondering if the celebs on rte site were the reason for the toymans absence on monday?

sligojoek

PieOhMy wrote: »

There was an ad on 2 there during love/ hate for the ego black hole of Calcutta comming up on friday night. Much of it has already been recorded so I'm wondering if the celebs on rte site were the reason for the toymans absence on monday?

Maybe or maybe not. Shane MacGowan and Finbar Furey's bit was recorded a few weeks ago.

jippo nolan

PieOhMy wrote: »

There was an ad on 2 there during love/ hate for the ego black hole of Calcutta comming up on friday night. Much of it has already been recorded so I'm wondering if the celebs on rte site were the reason for the toymans absence on monday?

The DLB probably overloaded on the American Sodas!

TheHomeService

KevRossi wrote: »

Tubridy will be into that shop first thing in the morning and snatch it out of the kids hands as he wants it for himself.

Good shout!

He's already said he wants the world's biggest selection box, and would rip it from the child's hands.

dvcireland

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

"ahaaaaaa Wings the band the beatles could have been"

TheHomeService

Wait for the "listener texts" claiming to be in tears listening to Tubridy's story of how great he is.

sligojoek

What's with all the fake laughing mid sentence.

Minding

Obama.

Toyshow

Cancer.