Anyone else feel like this?

taylorsterling

I've been TTC for a number of months. At first - I thought it would happen right away!
But with each passing cycle, I become more and more desolate and panicked. I wonder if this will ever happen to me... I look at other women with babies and bumps with such envy. Mt TTW is nearly over, AF was due today and while it's a no-show I keep thinking I'm feeling cramps (though could be my imagination).

I had bloods done on Day 20 and my LH and FSH levels were high (10) but the Dr. said she thinks she tested too early. I still worry I have something wrong with me. It took my mam 5 years to have me, and another 6 to have my sister...

At the moment I feel consumed with sadness and worry. I try to be positive and picture myself pregnant... but I still worry. My sister-in-law is expecting and I am sick with envy. I've told my husband when she has the baby I won't be able to face visiting her in hospital.

Did anyone worry to this extent but go on to conceive?

brokensoul

I would guess that everyone on here has felt, or currently feels, like you do right now.

I wish I had a magic solution, but all I can say is keep positive and hope for a good outcome one of these months.

There are lots of good news stories on here of woman who worried a lot and went on to have happy healthy babies. Pop into the pregnancy thread if you want to see some of the graduates from here!

Duberlin Chick

Took me a year even with dates to a tee.....I'm currently sleep deprived here in Holles St so don't be too disheartened. Did some sessions of acupuncture just before I conceived and do believe it helped. I was heading away on holidays and so the month before I said I'm not looking at a calendar this month. I'm heading away for ten days next month so what will be will be. And low and behold.... People told me to relax...... And it's very annoying.... But its essential!

Best of luck!!

taylorsterling

thanks for your kind words girls. by the sounds of it - you've both been through it and know this stage back to front.

congratulations chick...

What acupuncture and where did you have? I must look into it.

Yeah I've heard this - if you stop thinking about it then it will happen... I'm not really buying it but I'll try keep myself distracted. I'd love to go away on hols but I have loans up to my eyes.

I'll find out this weekend whether my efforts paid off or not....

pwurple

lol, well I was definitely thinking about it. Dates, calendar, follicle tracking etc. It's better if the bloke isn't thinking about it, that's for sure. My husband asked me not to tell him the fertile dates anymore.

They say normally when everything is timed right have a 1 in 4 chance of conceiving each cycle. So bear that in mind. That's why doctors usually ask you to be trying for 6 months before they start fertility tests.

taylorsterling

ha ha yeah, that's what I always wondered - if you're trying... then how do you NOT think about it.
Most confusing advice ever.

I have past the 6 month mark now so that's why I went for bloods. The Dr's advice was every 2-3 days throughout the month. So essentially doing the deed every 2-3 days because some women ovulate early, some late.

I also told her the only time I have a few glasses wine when AF arrives (to drown my sorrows) otherwise I abstain... She said - oh don't worry about avoiding a few glasses of wine because it will help you relax!!

My husband is convinced it will happen soon, and talks about shopping for cots etc.
I honestly don't know why I worry about it NOT happening as opposed to looking forward to it happening.
Must be my personality....

stickybean

taylorsterling wrote: »

I've been TTC for a number of months. At first - I thought it would happen right away!
But with each passing cycle, I become more and more desolate and panicked. I wonder if this will ever happen to me... I look at other women with babies and bumps with such envy. Mt TTW is nearly over, AF was due today and while it's a no-show I keep thinking I'm feeling cramps (though could be my imagination).

I had bloods done on Day 20 and my LH and FSH levels were high (10) but the Dr. said she thinks she tested too early. I still worry I have something wrong with me. It took my mam 5 years to have me, and another 6 to have my sister...

At the moment I feel consumed with sadness and worry. I try to be positive and picture myself pregnant... but I still worry. My sister-in-law is expecting and I am sick with envy. I've told my husband when she has the baby I won't be able to face visiting her in hospital.

Did anyone worry to this extent but go on to conceive?

Hi taylorsterling,

Yes, I have felt like this, I have felt it so many times. We are nearly 4 years TTC and it has been heart breaking. I have watched friends and family have not one but two children since we started our journey. I even have a cousin pregnant on her third.

The first 12 months I was fine, I just keep thinking it would happen, by 18 months I was cracking up. TTC consumed my whole life. I would look at pregnant women and have almost an anger towards them thinking why isn't that me, when is it our turn? It was horrible. I hated friends bringing there babies around. even thought it was no one's fault and deep down I was happy for them it was just so tough.

We started investigations and everyone kept saying sure just relax and it will happen. Or I know someone who started investigation and they just ended up pregnant. Or the worst, sure you can always adopt.

Trust me... it's hard, it's emotional, but the one thing I have learned is being positive is the best way I can be. With nearly four years and so much time wasted being upset and resentful I am now in a slightly better place. We have just started IVF and I am starting acupuncture next week. I am trying my very best to be positive when I can. Best of luck with your journey xxx

Penny Dreadful

Yep, it felt like that for me (us) too. I came off the Pill and was convinced that I'd get pregnant straight away. It didn't happen like that.
After a year of ttc and on the verge of getting a lot of tests done (had gone as far as getting bloods and semen analysis done) I fell pregnant.
Now we have the most fantastic chilled out happy and healthy 10 month old baby girl.

I did use acupuncture and whether or not it helped us conceiving no one can say for certain but it did regulate my irregular cycle and best of all it was very calming and relaxing which was only going to help with things.

Unfortunately we have recently had a miscarriage but I am looking at the positives where I can and the ease at which I fell pregnant that time is comforting.

Babooshka

Hi all

Penny that's very wise of you, I am sure it's also heart breaking.

My story is similar, but I am way running out of time, at 41. Trying naturally almost 2 years, have been doing acupuncture myself, which has been helping me relax a lot too. But I can't afford it regularly and acupuncturist has told me it's a regular thing or doesn't work properly so I have just had to quit for a few months, life and bills and everything else is interrupting.

I have been so "what will be will be" about it, we discussed it as a couple and decided pursuing IVF, if there were any issues with us, is a no go for us. We're willing to see if nature wants to give us a mini us or not, and if not, then there is surely a reason. While that sounds lovely and sensible, a huge part of my female mothering side, which has been under wraps for so long, wants to smother my face into every new baby I see and steal them (not really but the sense of longing is unreal). I am ovulating and there doesn't seem to be any obvious problems with either of us so it is a waiting game.

Today for me is CD 30, I vary between 27 -30 day cycles. I just don't know yet, but I am very very afraid to even hope but the clock is moving so slowly and every twinge in my tummy I fully expect AF any second. The 30 day cycles only happen every 4 or 5 months, so they're the cruelest days of all when it does finally show. I won't know till it happens.

Sorry this is so long. But yes, I feel your pain, and I really hope things work out for all of us ladies trying for a little family.

pwurple

taylorsterling wrote: »

What is follicular tracking? Did it work for you in the end?

Follicle tracking is a very precise ovulation scan. You get it done privately, at about 150 euro a go...

It's an internal ultrasound, done by the fertility clinics.

I have bocketty ould ovaries really... some PCOS, which seems to come and go, which means I have variable cycles which makes it hard to pinpont ovulation. Follicle tracking is excellent for cases like mine, as you actually SEE the egg (or cysts, or string of pearls effect etc), and see when it's about to release. The blood tests mainly tell you the egg was released a few days ago, which is a pain if you've missed the window. With follicle tracking you get a heads up in advance.

It depends on each person, but for me, having the most information about what was going on with my body available to me helped enormously, because I felt more in control of it.

I also used Fertility Friend website and app for tracking cycles, that's a handy one.

taylorsterling

Thanks for all your replies! It's so helpful and comforting. I haven't told anyone we are trying, because I suppose I want it to be like the way I imagined; me telling everyone I'm pregnant.

But because I've no one to talk to, I feel lonely. My sister in law is due in two months and I am sick SICK with envy. I know that's horrible. I've asked my husband will I need to visit her in hospital and he says yes, we will. The thoughts make my heart wanna break

I am so maternal, I baby everyone. I am the eldest child and there's 6 years between me and my sister. I love her like she was mine. I so want a family.


PS: sorry, for some reason one of my posts posted three times. not sure why! sorry!!


x

stickybean

Totally up to you honey, but if you have a good friend or relative you could confide in, it can be really beneficial.

I have to say if I hadn't got my 3 close friends and my mam (and of course all the amazing girls on here), i'd crack up.

While my OH is good, sometimes you need to just have someone to listen x

Hopefully, you won't be here to long pet x