10-year study says a lot of the kids who were cool at 13 'didn't turn out OK'

ArtSmart

10 year-olds are not reliable researchers.

NachoBusiness

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Don't think anyone's ever pretty their whole life

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Wicked on the inside was bound to be wicked on the outside eventually

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28NnWphc8IY

fancy pigeon

They were little **** then, now they're really big ****!

Yurt!

Yurt! wrote: »

Came across recently one of the 'cool kids' when I was in school, who played rugby, had a revolving door of 'cool girl' girlfriends in school and was the class funnyman - but also used his status to be a bit of a d*ck and made sure weaker kids knew where they stood in the pecking order.

I stopped into a pub of an afternoon midweek recently to break a note for change for the bus, and spotted him at the bar staring into his pint with the eyes hanging out of his head. Yep, turned into a fat alcoholic. I'm not celebrating his fate or anything but there's probably truth in this study. A lot of the 'cool kids' and big men didn't go get themselves educated and instead wanted to stay hometown heroes in their one horse town.

The thing about guys like that is that they get it into their heads at age 15/16 that they are somehow "big men", powerful alpha males dominant over other kids that age.

Problem is that nothing happens in the intervening years to show them this is not the case. They reach the age of 18/19/20 and enter the world of actual "big men" aged 40/45 who've learned the hard way about the real world and taken the knocks. But these kids continue to act like tits and try to behave the same way as they did in school around grown adults with very little patience for this.

Result? The reality of life hits them in the face like a fcukin' train wreck, and like the guy in your story the self appointed cool kids end up self medicating losers, and permanently unhappy.

or, yknow, not

depending on why you were or weren't popular in school and how sustainable/salvageable that defining trait or set of traits turned out to be, there's still about a million different things that are gonna impact upon your life between debs night and your clogs popping and no reliable formula to predict and outcomes for sure.

bitterness against 'cool kids' is a bit sad tho.

equating 'cool kids' to 'bullies' is a weird reaction to me. ime the bullies generally weren't especially popular themselves and usually headed on a pretty fast track to nowhere. most of the cool kids had looks, talent, money or confidence (or any combination of the above) and did predictably well.

RedemptionZ

The influence of American movies is all too evident here. In most schools the coolest people are the best looking, charismatic and best at sports, usually a combo of all three to varying degrees. They're not all evil. They're actually usually very likeable. The reason they're popular is because people like them, I mean how can you be popular if nobody likes you? American cinema and television has created this myth that the quarter back and his crew dominate the school and don't acknowledge anyone but themselves or the cheerleaders and vice versa. We all know that's not true. The majority of cool kids do go on to be successful. Of course success is subjective, and schools on the lower end of socioeconomic ladder tend to be less cliquey because school just isn't seen as integral to many, so the 'cool kids' probably don't last the 6 years.

The Corinthian

efb wrote: »

Think the author of that article was finding the answers he was looking for.

All research of this nature is about finding the answers one is looking for, as they are all based upon proving or disproving a hypothesis.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Whenever I read these types of threads I always feel like I was dead lucky in school. I was not sporty (total nerd actually) but I still got on really well with the "cool" kids. No one in my year was really bullied and there was only one or two class A dickheads. Most of the cool kids got on fine for themselves and I genuinely wish them well, they are (or at least were) nice people.

jamesbere

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

Whenever I read these types of threads I always feel like I was dead lucky in school. I was not sporty (total nerd actually) but I still got on really well with the "cool" kids. No one in my year was really bullied and there was only one or two class A dickheads. Most of the cool kids got on fine for themselves and I genuinely wish them well, they are (or at least were) nice people.

Same here, Evereyone I went to school with was fine. Of course everyone one had their own groups but nearly everyone got on.

yes there

Know what's funny. The majority on here think your actions when you are a kid/teenager somehow affects where you want to be in life in future.

What's even worse is how most think they can judge a person's progress based on their own egocentric idea of success.

PhoenixParker

Hang on, it's a ten year study starting with 13 year olds, so they're saying that people at the age of 23 didn't turn out ok?
Far too early to judge. Needs at least another ten years, preferably 20 or 30, to judge who's a success and failure in that cohort.

If a child at 13 is having sex drinking and taking drugs they have problems and its nothing to do with being cool.


If a child looks older is taller that average that can cause issue for them because they are often expected to behave as if they were more mature that they really are and that applies to sports, academically and social behaviour.

On average the people who do 'best' in life thed not to be the highly strung perfectionist trying to get 600 points its the good average, who had supportive family, has friends is social and is engaged someway in the community.

Robsweezie

waterford whispers?

LuckyLloyd

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I was a really quiet kid, kept to myself, stayed within my group and generally flew under the radar. Changed a lot over the years, I'm not "cool" now, but I'm really confident in myself, I'm always well turned out, I have a great group of friends and it's more than I can say for the "cool" kids in my 2nd year class.

The coolest is now married to a man who's much older than her and cheats on her constantly.
One of the girls who bullied me looks like bugs bunny and has a **** part time job and can't keep a boyfriend
The other one that bullied me did really well for herself but she's ugly af and that pleases me greatly.
And the 3rd bully is now so ashamed she would cross the street if she met me.

I take a lot of pleasure in being an absolute cow to people from school who were horrible to me but now think I'm good enough/cool enough to talk to.
"Sorry who are you?" And "**** off" usually is enough to get them to toddle on

What an ugly post.

cloud493

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

What an ugly post.

Feels good to be bitter about people who abused you, I find.

LuckyLloyd

I finished Secondary school 14 year's ago which means I've been out of school longer than I was in it from Junior Infants through to Sixth year. I wouldn't pretend that school (particularly secondary school) had no lasting effect on my personality and confidence through college but, really, at a certain point in your life if you still feel secondary school defines you in anyway positively or negatively you've probably missed out on a certain amount of living in between.

I very much agree with those above who have noted that not everyone shares the same definition of "success" in life. Who's to say every person who ends up living around where they grew up with a few kids by their mid twenties and no third level education is unhappy? I don't think the world is that black and white.

LuckyLloyd

cloud493 wrote: »

Feels good to be bitter about people who abused you, I find.

I honestly don't give people from school / the past who treated me ill much thought. I don't think about school much anymore. I'd very much doubt they think about you either. I don't think there would be much to gain by holding onto that sort of bitterness.

cloud493

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

I honestly don't give people from school / the past who treated me ill much thought. I don't think about school much anymore. I'd very much doubt they think about you either. I don't think there would be much to gain by holding onto that sort of bitterness.

I don't spend my days dwelling on it. But when I see them struggling, or having ****ed up their lives, wasting it, it feels pretty good. Bitter joy whatever.

seamus

It's pretty clear that the author isn't really talking about the kids who were popular in school and captain of the football/rugby/hurling teams, but more about those kids who seemed to have a great life at 13, hanging around with 16 year olds, smoking, drinking and riding, and staying out till 11pm on school nights. The kind of guys you thought were badass at 13 but by 17 you knew they were on a course to junkieville.

The article even uses the image of Judd Nelson in the breakfast club, who played a "cool" kid, but a loner in the main. The popular kid in that movie was Emilio Estevez.

LuckyLloyd

cloud493 wrote: »

I don't spend my days dwelling on it. But when I see them struggling, or having ****ed up their lives, wasting it, it feels pretty good. Bitter joy whatever.

Fair enough man.

LuckyLloyd

seamus wrote: »

It's pretty clear that the author isn't really talking about the kids who were popular in school and captain of the football/rugby/hurling teams, but more about those kids who seemed to have a great life at 13, hanging around with 16 year olds, smoking, drinking and riding, and staying out till 11pm on school nights. The kind of guys you thought were badass at 13 but by 17 you knew they were on a course to junkieville.

The article even uses the image of Judd Nelson in the breakfast club, who played a "cool" kid, but a loner in the main. The popular kid in that movie was Emilio Estevez.

Which means that the real take home is 'alcohol / drugs are bad for young teenagers'. Shocked so I am.

brevity

I didn't have a good secondary school experience and often think about the people that made it worse, what would I do if I met them.

I remember seeing one of them in the pub one time, he recognized me and just looked embarrassed and ashamed... I didn't say or do anything, a nod of the head as I was walking past and just enjoyed my night.

This quote sums up how I feel about it these days:

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

TheLastMohican

When the Sun Hits wrote: »

I was a loser at 13 and am still a loser. Explain that!

Please send bank details to:

Prince Akimwanda.
Lagos Road.
Lagos.

You can be a winner all the way. Guaranteed.

topper75

Yurt! wrote: »

Came across recently one of the 'cool kids' when I was in school, who played rugby, had a revolving door of 'cool girl' girlfriends in school and was the class funnyman - but also used his status to be a bit of a d*ck and made sure weaker kids knew where they stood in the pecking order.

I stopped into a pub of an afternoon midweek recently to break a note for change for the bus, and spotted him at the bar staring into his pint with the eyes hanging out of his head. Yep, turned into a fat alcoholic. I'm not celebrating his fate or anything but there's probably truth in this study. A lot of the 'cool kids' and big men didn't go get themselves educated and instead wanted to stay hometown heroes in their one horse town.

That is the greatest lyric that Bruce Springsteen never wrote! I'm can hear the harmonica wailing as I read it.

topper75

topper75 wrote: »

That is the greatest lyric that Bruce Springsteen never wrote! I'm can hear the harmonica wailing as I read it.

Belongs somewhere in the middle of Glory Days.

Dyr

I couldnt tell you what the kids I went to secondary school went on to do with themselves, with the exception of the few I was friends with

f**kit I could'nt even tell you their names, I left school like I was breaking out of jail