Theres always one clown that brings a guitar to a party

MonkeyTennis

dont bother wrote: »

fvckin retards. i HATE this sh!te... the age of the guitar is long dead. stick on a bit of fetty wap or drake if you want b!tches flocking...

loser behaviour only done by little ugly minger "Tucan" type gobsh!tes who havent a note in their head and can';t everr actually SING with their songs... then what's the point? attention whores.

Bitter at all?

dont bother

MonkeyTennis wrote: »

Bitter at all?

not at all... i just really dislike little irish men and their guitars and curly golliwog looking wool hair and ugly faces.

these "women" that flock to these idiots - they're usually wooly irish girls.

be my guest... take them ALL!

Thud

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/04/14/****ing-hero-at-house-party-knows-how-to-play-folsom-prison-blues/

Areyouwell

At a party once and I noticed the arrival of guitar wanker and watched as he left his guitar under the stairs. Knowing what was coming later, my best mate and I then procededed to cut the strings off his guitar.:)

Pyr0

Areyouwell wrote: »

At a party once and I noticed the arrival of guitar wanker and watched as he left his guitar under the stairs. Knowing what was coming later, my best mate and I then procededed to cut the strings off his guitar.:)

Sound lads, nice one..

Choochtown

Areyouwell wrote: »

At a party once and I noticed the arrival of guitar wanker and watched as he left his guitar under the stairs. Knowing what was coming later, my best mate and I then procededed to cut the strings off his guitar.:)

Using what?

MonkeyTennis

Areyouwell wrote: »

At a party once and I noticed the arrival of guitar wanker and watched as he left his guitar under the stairs. Knowing what was coming later, my best mate and I then procededed to cut the strings off his guitar.:)

I smell lies

Choochtown

MonkeyTennis wrote: »

I smell lies

Me too.

"Hey pass me those industrial wire clippers from your back pocket whilst you keep watch on the stairs"

Means Of Escape

dont bother wrote: »

not at all... i just really dislike little irish men and their guitars and curly golliwog looking wool hair and ugly faces.

these "women" that flock to these idiots - they're usually wooly irish girls.

be my guest... take them ALL!

Add to that the token shark tooth/zen symbol hanging from a leather strip high up on chest
Tartan style "lucky shirt"
Scruffy shoes
Five or six wrist bands of various colours and designs
A silver pinky ring that has blackened the finger due to poor quality
Cargo pants with worn leg ends
One long discoloured thumb nail
Adjust strings accordingly to allow people to settle as the guitarist "attempts" a version of Gordon Lightfoot's If you could read my mind"
Wait patiently for the extra long guitar solos between verses to end

Hope a someone pulls out spoons to dilute the horror

No one hates the guitarists but get annoyed when they truly are punching way above their weight and force their mediocre ability on people .

Barely There

Areyouwell wrote: »

At a party once and I noticed the arrival of guitar wanker and watched as he left his guitar under the stairs. Knowing what was coming later, my best mate and I then procededed to cut the strings off his guitar.:)

I just grabbed the guitar and smashed it over Guitar Wanker's head.

Honky Tonk Man style.

One More Toy

Means Of Escape wrote: »

Add to that the token shark tooth/zen symbol hanging from a leather strip high up on chest
Tartan style "lucky shirt"
Scruffy shoes
Five or six wrist bands of various colours and designs
A silver pinky ring that has blackened the finger due to poor quality
Cargo pants with worn leg ends
One long discoloured thumb nail
Adjust strings accordingly to allow people to settle as the guitarist "attempts" a version of Gordon Lightfoot's If you could read my mind"
Wait patiently for the extra long guitar solos between verses to end

Hope a someone pulls out spoons to dilute the horror

No one hates the guitarists but get annoyed when they truly are punching way above their weight and force their mediocre ability on people .

Think I have just found my Minister for the Environment

tayto lover

"I hear the train a-coming
it's rolling round the bend
and I ain't seen the sunshine
since I don't know when ...."


Great auld nights with the guitar man in our local.

Ya can't beat it lads.

Areyouwell

Choochtown wrote: »

Using what?

MonkeyTennis wrote: »

I smell lies

Choochtown wrote: »

Me too.
"Hey pass me those industrial wire clippers from your back pocket whilst you keep watch on the stairs"

Wow! What's all the knicker twisting about? My mate got a combination pliers from his brothers shed. The party was in his brothers house.

Hopefully ye can calm yourselves now, because I never intended to casue such distress.

The Rape of Lucretia

Brock Turnpike wrote: »

Serious amount of jealousy going on in here, lads.

If someone can play guitar and the majority of people at the party want them to play, what's the problem?

That would be no problem. But your 'if' condition is never true - only guitar **** think the majority of people at the party want them to play. The rest just want him to shut up, and are thinking who the feck does he think he is bring along a guitar thinking the rest of us want to hear him.

wnolan1992

I think most of the hate is from people who are pissed off that they can't use a guitar to get laid/get attention/get free food and drink.

I know that's my motivation for hating the guitar-wielding, Wonderwall-playing c*nts anyway.

valoren

Nothing worse than some gowl 'singing' with that pained, tortured face and voice, implying that he is a sensitive soul and in touch with his 'feelings'. GTFO.

"No alarms....and no surprises.....no alarms and no surprise....please....siiiiiiiilence.....*pluck-pluck-pluck*....."

And how come it's always fellas. Guitar Wankerettes are a rare breed.

Public_Enema

Areyouwell wrote: »

Wow! What's all the knicker twisting about? My mate got a combination pliers from his brothers shed. The party was in his brothers house.

Hopefully ye can calm yourselves now, because I never intended to cause such distress.

Had to laugh at the response alright. You'd swear you needed an oxy acetylene torch to cut a few strings.:rolleyes:

dont bother

Means Of Escape wrote: »

Add to that the token shark tooth/zen symbol hanging from a leather strip high up on chest
Tartan style "lucky shirt"
Scruffy shoes
Five or six wrist bands of various colours and designs
A silver pinky ring that has blackened the finger due to poor quality
Cargo pants with worn leg ends
One long discoloured thumb nail
Adjust strings accordingly to allow people to settle as the guitarist "attempts" a version of Gordon Lightfoot's If you could read my mind"
Wait patiently for the extra long guitar solos between verses to end

Hope a someone pulls out spoons to dilute the horror

No one hates the guitarists but get annoyed when they truly are punching way above their weight and force their mediocre ability on people .

BRILLIANT. Very accurate

MonkeyTennis

Areyouwell wrote: »

Wow! What's all the knicker twisting about? My mate got a combination pliers from his brothers shed. The party was in his brothers house.

Hopefully ye can calm yourselves now, because I never intended to casue such distress.

Well you could have hid the guitar in the shed?

CFlat

Breaking guitar strings isn't difficult and you don't need a pliers or anything. Just keep winding up the machine heads until the strings break.

I used to play alot of music back in the 90s with bands etc. I f**king hated going to house parties cause when you arrived someone put a guitar in your hand and said something like, its ok Cflat is here lets get this party started.

All I wanted to do was get pissed and talk sh!t. Sometimes guitar ****$r doesn't have a choice.

BTW strumming a guitar is most certainly playing, as long as you do it well.


Oh and I remember many years ago bringing my then GF to a party, I started playing, looked around and realised she was being chatted up by a lad. Guitar ****$r doesnt always get the girl either.

Choochtown

Areyouwell wrote: »

Wow! What's all the knicker twisting about? My mate got a combination pliers from his brothers shed. The party was in his brothers house.

Hopefully ye can calm yourselves now, because I never intended to casue such distress.

Mmmmm glad you've cleared that one up. It all makes sense now. You and your best mate were at a party in his brothers house when you saw a person put a guitar under the stairs so your bestie went to the shed where lo and behold he found some combination pliers (good job he had a torch with him) then you met up with him again and then vandalised property of (presumably) a friend of his brothers. I presume only a friend of the person whose house it is would waltz in and place a guitar under the stairs.

Very feasible. Thanks for clearing that up.

circadian

I usually bring decks and blare techno, clears the place out quickly.

Capt'n Midnight

Squaredude wrote: »

Or the cnuts that start singing rattlin bog

If you think that's bad , try it with physicists and biochemists. You'll be there all night

.. and the gluon on the quark and the quark in the neutron and the neutron in the shell and the shell in the nucleus and the nucleus in the atom and the atom in the hydroxyl group and ...

thegreatgonzo

God reading this thread made me realise how much I'd hate to be at any party most of you would throw.
Love it when someone brings a guitar out.

Barely There

Choochtown wrote: »

Very feasible. Thanks for clearing that up.

Hardly going to use it as the plot basis for Mission Impossible 6 though.

bodhrandude

What about a bloke/girl with a bodhran at a party. :pac:

Means Of Escape

from the previous posts we can safely declare:

The guitarist arrives usually from a bummed lift or off a bus
As he arrives he will scan the pub for any wimmin at the bar
Upon being greeted by the manager/pub owner he will place his guitar ,that is usually in a leather case bedecked with stickers from exotic places despite he not being beyond Luton,in a place for maximum exposure.
A pint will be offered and despite a slight "protest" he will accept with gusto as if you were to turn out his pockets you would find rollie papers, a key for a flat and 2 euros in loose change .
Once he determines the crowd isn't going to get any bigger he moves to get ensconced in a corner and preps his guitar all the while keeping an eye out as to who is looking at the mystery man
The wimmin have judged the bit of a rough diamond as the poet on the move who would as happy serenade them on rocks on the beaches of the Caribbean before sailing off to the next island with them sprawled on the bow
In reality as the night ends its back to a damp flat with the smell of dirty socks and this mornings fry in the sink
He may recognise a fellow busker and hug him with the embrace of a long lost brother .by standing talking to the brother strummer he will continue to draw the eyes.
Finally he is ready
High note twangs to herald his starting
And will end when he has finished his personal rendition of Amhran Na bhFiann

guitaris publicanis

TomBtheGoat

Choochtown wrote: »

Mmmmm glad you've cleared that one up. It all makes sense now. You and your best mate were at a party in his brothers house when you saw a person put a guitar under the stairs so your bestie went to the shed where lo and behold he found some combination pliers (good job he had a torch with him) then you met up with him again and then vandalised property of (presumably) a friend of his brothers. I presume only a friend of the person whose house it is would waltz in and place a guitar under the stairs.

Very feasible. Thanks for clearing that up.

One can only assume that you don't get out much.

hatrickpatrick

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

God reading this thread made me realise how much I'd hate to be at any party most of you would throw.
Love it when someone brings a guitar out.

I'm in music college, if nobody brings a guitar to a session, everyone starts giving out to eachother "F*ckin' hell lads, did NONE of ye think of bringing any instruments?!"

tayto lover

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I'm in music college, if nobody brings a guitar to a session, everyone starts giving out to eachother "F*ckin' hell lads, did NONE of ye think of bringing any instruments?!"

Give us an auld song Pat
Liven up the night.

Choochtown

TomBtheGoat wrote: »

One can only assume that you don't get out much.

Please enlighten me. Why can one only assume that?

Hans Bricks

Thankfully haven't had to endure a guitar wanker at an after session in at least a couple of years. Nothing to put revellers and everyone else to sleep more than a rehash of tired 90s ballads. The good vibes and atmosphere coupled with suitable background music is all most people want. Not some whiny, underwhelming lullaby to kill the session.

Idjit

One More Toy wrote: »

Sitting in the corner, spitting out tunes randomly to show off. Im sick of it , sick and tired of it.

I blame the women, flocking to these with a wet stain like a snail following them. Thats great and all, you do what you gotta do to get that tail, but I came here to have the craic, a few beers and a laugh, not for you to have impromptu performances.

How do you guys feel? Are you one of them? If so, whats your motivation?:mad:

Once I was at a party with a few guitarist friends and others. Some of the others started playing a video game in the living room (a new multiplayer game the host of the party wanted to show off). One of my guitarist friends complained loudly that "That's so anti-social. The rest of us aren't interested and the noise of that is making it hard for people to chat here."

He was immediately met with a chorus of people giving out about how he and the other guitarists have randomly started playing guitar at parties and what he had just said about the video game also applied completely to the guitar playing.

If I want to listen to live music while I'm drinking, I'll go to a bar that advertises such a thing to be happening that night. If I'm at a gaf party, I am there to socialise with all the people there in a comfortable setting, not sit around some kum-ba-yah gob****e.

donegaLroad

CFlat wrote: »

Breaking guitar strings isn't difficult and you don't need a pliers or anything. Just keep winding up the machine heads until the strings break.

I used to play alot of music back in the 90s with bands etc. I f**king hated going to house parties cause when you arrived someone put a guitar in your hand and said something like, its ok Cflat is here lets get this party started.

All I wanted to do was get pissed and talk sh!t. Sometimes guitar ****$r doesn't have a choice.

BTW strumming a guitar is most certainly playing, as long as you do it well.


Oh and I remember many years ago bringing my then GF to a party, I started playing, looked around and realised she was being chatted up by a lad. Guitar ****$r doesnt always get the girl either.

I was in the same boat for years, though I point-blank refused to sing what you would hear at all the other parties, plus I would never do anything downbeat, like a fore mentioned Pink Floyd, Gordon Lightfoot, Wonderwall etc etc.

Blues and ragtime is what I like to play, Rory Gallagher acoustic stuff, some lesser known trad and folk, and a bit of Willie Nelson for good measure. If I ever thought it wasn't going down well, I would stop playing.

One of the biggest failings of a self-absorbed guitar guy at a party is their inability to read the audience.

J Mysterio

Rory Gallagher? Sold.

Son Of A Vidic

Choochtown wrote: »

Mmmmm glad you've cleared that one up. It all makes sense now. You and your best mate were at a party in his brothers house when you saw a person put a guitar under the stairs so your bestie went to the shed where lo and behold he found some combination pliers (good job he had a torch with him) then you met up with him again and then vandalised property of (presumably) a friend of his brothers. I presume only a friend of the person whose house it is would waltz in and place a guitar under the stairs.

Very feasible. Thanks for clearing that up.

Do you live in a cave? Most sheds have main lights installed these days and how is meeting back up with a friend at a party, in anyway unusual? Christ, it happens all the time. You seem to be getting mystified by something which should be clear enough to understand.

Two Sheds

CFlat wrote: »

Breaking guitar strings isn't difficult and you don't need a pliers or anything. Just keep winding up the machine heads until the strings break.

I used to play alot of music back in the 90s with bands etc. I f**king hated going to house parties cause when you arrived someone put a guitar in your hand and said something like, its ok Cflat is here lets get this party started.

All I wanted to do was get pissed and talk sh!t. Sometimes guitar ****$r doesn't have a choice.

BTW strumming a guitar is most certainly playing, as long as you do it well.


Oh and I remember many years ago bringing my then GF to a party, I started playing, looked around and realised she was being chatted up by a lad. Guitar ****$r doesnt always get the girl either.

Not if it's all you can do. The strummers are obvious from the start.

Choochtown

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Do you live in a cave? Most sheds have main lights installed these days and how is meeting back up with a friend at a party, in anyway unusual? Christ, it happens all the time. You seem to be getting mystified by something which should be clear enough to understand.

Not unusual at all to go out to your brother's shed whilst at his house party to find a tool that will enable you (and your friend) to vandalise his friend's musical instrument that has been put away under the stairs???

Yeah! Party time!

GreatDefector

GreatDefector wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcTcxJyiaU0

Jesus that Kodaline singer is irritating. Classic guitar guy material

CFlat

Two Sheds wrote: »

Not if it's all you can do. The strummers are obvious from the start.

I think strummer might be the wrong word. Rhythm player is probably a better term and I've played with some really good ones. Unfortunately they are probably not as appreciated as pickers or lead players but some of them are every bit as good.

Eutow

Choochtown wrote: »

Not unusual at all to go out to your brother's shed whilst at his house party to find a tool that will enable you (and your friend) to vandalise his friend's musical instrument that has been put away under the stairs???

Yeah! Party time!

Who said that the guitar player was / is friends with the brother? The guitar player could be a friend of a friend, i.e. not a friend of the brother but was there through a mutual friend.

Means Of Escape

Inspector Clouseau snapped a string on the guitar he was hiding behind in the nudist camp when he spotted a naked woman.
Not a pliers in sight .

The Rape of Lucretia

Eutow wrote: »

Who said that the guitar player was / is friends with the brother? The guitar player could be a friend of a friend, i.e. not a friend of the brother but was there through a mutual friend.

Something really smells about this one.

Earlier, there was a Facebook page for someone called 'StringCutter'. Created this afternoon. Lots of guitars guys started posting abusing stuff there. Now the account seems closed. Looked legit to me when I first read it, but now I am sceptical.

Does anyone know someone who had the strings of their guitar cut under a stairs ? Do those strings really exist ? Do the Gardai have a report relating to guitar sabotage ? (There is a deafening silence from them at the moment on the topic - Garda press office makes no mention of the affair whatsoever). All very sus. And what does the shed really have to do with it ?

What the HELL went on here ???

NotYourYear20

Choochtown wrote: »

Not unusual at all to go out to your brother's shed whilst at his house party to find a tool that will enable you (and your friend) to vandalise his friend's musical instrument that has been put away under the stairs???

Yeah! Party time!

You really are struggling now aren't you. Can you not just let it go and save yourself further embarrassment. Hang on.....

Choochtown wrote: »

I'm a guitar-wanker

Ah, it all makes sense now.

Choochtown

NotYourYear20 wrote: »

You really are struggling now aren't you. Can you not just let it go and save yourself further embarrassment. Hang on.....



Ah, it all makes sense now.

I can't stop now.

It's the thread that just keeps giving ...

Panic E

Shhhhhhhh…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jAphZMWAFA

:pac:

MadsL

So where were the Spiders
While the fly tried to break our balls
With just the beer light to guide us
So we bitched about his fans
And should we crush his sweet hands

Yurt2

Panic E wrote: »

Shhhhhhhh…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jAphZMWAFA

:pac:

If you're bringing an axe to a party, I KNOW it's to lay some 'fiddly diddly' on us. Not some limp wristed Damien Rice / Glen Hansard sentimental twaddle. I think we should encourage chicks to like 'fiddly diddly' so as to incentivise this type of guitar work at parties.

Marcusm

American Pie
The Boxer
Riders on the storm
Sweet Caroline
Horse with no name

Cee-Jay-Cee

Bye bye miss American pie, I drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry and good ole boys drinking whisky and rye, signing this'll be the day that I die.