'Its the thought that counts'......

LegacyUser

.....but is this is a crock of poo poo??

Ok, let me explain and I am totally ranting here...

Have a friend who I know about 10 years now. We always bought each other gifts for each others birthday but, if she missed mine, it was never ever an issue. Ever. I know how strapped for cash she can be, as is this case with me. A lot...!

Anyways, our friendship has been fizzling out for about a year now which is grand. This happens. But last year, she arrived down at my house about 2 weeks after my birthday with a gift. (just to mention, I was 6 months pregnant at the time). The gift was a top that was very obviously one of her own that she plucked out of her wardrobe and put in a gift bag. Now, it still had tags on it but it was something I would NEVER wear but was something I could see her in. So that was fine. Said thank you and gave the top to charity. I thought to myself 'Ah sure, its the thought that counts, it was nice of her.......'

Fast forward to this year. She arrives down 3 weeks after my birthday and hands me a card and bag. So, I say 'thank you, you shouldn't have'. When she left, I opened it and inside the bag was, again, an item of clothing that I would NEVER EVER wear. In fact, if you know me at all, you would know I actually really don't like this design of clothing.....but it gets better. It was very obviously used. It smelled of perfume and had holes in it. This was not something from a charity shop (which I would have no problems with it).

I could only deduce that this belonged to her mother and her mother gave it to her for me. The piece of clothing would be worn by a female 70years+. I'm 29. It was what you could say was an obvious piece of older womans clothing.....

This is nothing to do with 'buying' a gift. If she had simply dropped me a text and said happy birthday, I would have been overjoyed. I am not a materialistic person. But it got me thinking - when people say 'its the thought that counts' - is this bull crap? Why bother if your're just going to grab the closest thing and shove it in a bag and give to someone? A text, a phonecall, just a card would be better in my opinion. Or the offer of babysitting, or asking me to go for a walk...all of these things.

The present made its way into the bin. Because seriously, this item of clothing was old, smelly, and was probably lying in the bottom of a wardrobe for years....and I mean that.

Just to make myself feel like I wasn't being a cow (which people may think I'm being), I showed it to my partner and he couldn't believe it. He said a half eaten donut would have been a better pressie.......

Anways rant over. thanks for reading.... :-/

Jotunheim

That phrase is general interpreted as meaning it's nice that someone thought enough of you to come up with any present at all. I think, though, in cases like this it has a second meaning, which is to show that they only thought enough of you to make an insultingly token effort. I'm with you on feeling a bit dismayed by people who do this, people who know me well know that I genuinely would rather get nothing than have them give me something like that.
I don't think you can or should do anything about it, you say your friendship is fizzling out anyway, so it's not an issue that needs a solution and won't be a problem for long. You can just add it to the pile of funny stories you and your partner laugh at.

PinkLemonade

Tell her no gifts from now on?