Guy I've Been Dating For 6 Months Won't Introduce Me To Friends

LegacyUser

Ive been dating a man for 6 months and this has happened twice: we run into his friends out somewhere and he doesn't introduce me so I'm left standing there awkwardly while he chats away. It really hurts my feelings and in the reverse I would introduce him to my friends if we bumped into him.

Im not sure how to approach the issue with him as were not an official couple, the relationship is in a very grey area where were exclusive but not bf/gf.

OneOfThem

annoyed137 wrote: »

Im not sure how to approach the issue with him as were not an official couple, the relationship is in a very grey area where were exclusive but not bf/gf.

Maybe that's the issue? Doesn't know how to introduce you if he did.
"This is Annoyed..." - Is that all I say? Will she think something of that? Should I say my girlfriend? Should I say my friend (lads, never say your friend, for future reference).

It can be an awkward situation sometimes.

Why the grey area? Have you had any kind of discussion about what the thing between you is? Would you like to be bf/gf? Would he?

bee06

I don't really understand how you can be exclusive but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Whats the point of that? How would you introduce him to your friends?

CaraMay

That's really obnoxious. I would be fuming if he didn't even have the manners to say 'john / Mary, this is caramay'. There's no explanation needed. 6 months is a long time to be in a situation like that with no clear idea on what defines the relationship. It sounds like he has all the control given you are even nervous to ask why he won't introduce you. What's in this relationship for you op? I would hate to be hanging around for an obnoxious man who doesn't even have the decency to introduce you to his friends and opts to leave you standing there looking like a plum. Tell him to get lost. You can do way better

strandroad

bee06 wrote: »

I don't really understand how you can be exclusive but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Whats the point of that? How would you introduce him to your friends?

You could be exclusive friends with benefits for example, as in you're not sleeping with anyone else.

But not to introduce someone even just by their name is simply boorish.

jus_tin4

Personally i would just try relax first... there is a grey are, sort that out first... if your not Bf/GF then you need to know what are you, I think Caramay might be jumping the mark a bit, we don't know the full situation.... OP i would have the relationship talk first, its not an excuse for him to be doing that, but it could be just he doesn't know what you guys are either....

bee06

mhge wrote: »

You could be exclusive friends with benefits for example, as in you're not sleeping with anyone else.

But not to introduce someone even just by their name is simply boorish.

They are dating exclusively is my impression rather than friends with benefits.

CaraMay

jus_tin4 wrote: »

Personally i would just try relax first... there is a grey are, sort that out first... if your not Bf/GF then you need to know what are you, I think Caramay might be jumping the mark a bit, we don't know the full situation.... OP i would have the relationship talk first, its not an excuse for him to be doing that, but it could be just he doesn't know what you guys are either....

But he knows her name? He doesn't have to say 'this is op, my ......' He just has to say 'this is ...'. It's intentional clearly as it's happened a couple of times. It's very disrespectful

vertmann

annoyed137 wrote: »

I'm not sure how to approach the issue with him as we're not an official couple, the relationship is in a very grey area where we're exclusive but not bf/gf.

So would you say you're not entirely sure where you stand? It sounds very odd that you can say on the one hand that you're exclusive yet on the other you're not an official couple. Would I be right in assuming that you would like to be an official couple and be able to refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend? Have you broached the subject with this man and if so, what did he say? If you're afraid to discuss it with him, what does that tell you?

Going back to your original question, I think it is rude not to introduce you to his friends. It wouldn't hurt to just say "this is Mary" and not get tied up with explaining who you are. Not everyone introduces their other half as their girlfriend or boyfriend when they meet people. It may be pointing to deeper problems you have. I think you should find out where you stand first, then broach the other subject if it arises again.

zeffabelli

Are you sure they are friends....and not people he's forgotten the names of?

Find a pause in the conversation and stick your hand out to shake and say "hi, I'm ....."

PinkLemonade

Why haven't you said it to him? It sounds like you really need to talk to this guy. Your relationship sounds confused and it doesn't sound like your on the same page.

Carlos Orange

People have different ways of operating when it comes to exchanging pleasantries with people they meet for a minute or three in passing.
I think the real issue is the relationship grey area bit. After 6 months dating should you not be deliberately meeting each others friends together?

jus_tin4

CaraMay wrote: »

But he knows her name? He doesn't have to say 'this is op, my ......' He just has to say 'this is ...'. It's intentional clearly as it's happened a couple of times. It's very disrespectful

I can understand the disrespect to a degree, but at the same stage it may not even be aware to him,( I think the OP hasn't told him yet, can correct me if I'm wrong). I know I have sort have been in a similar situation in a past relationship at an early stage i.e. 1/2 months. for me it want me showing disrespect, it was just me just going with the flow and not over thinking anything. But once we have the relationship talk i knew where I stood and were she stood, and everything just fell into place....

thats my 2 cents, just wouldn't go hell for leather on walking away etc as we don't know the full story, and i think classing it as very disrespectful might be a bit ott, but thats just me, I'm laid back

Keane2baMused

zeffabelli wrote: »

Are you sure they are friends....and not people he's forgotten the names of?

Find a pause in the conversation and stick your hand out to shake and say "hi, I'm ....."

I was going to say the same.

My dp is crap with names and over the years I've been left standing there like a spare tool and all because he actually can't remember the persons name he's talking to, by introducing me he would have to say their name haha.

So I started introducing myself instead, grown ups can do that