First time long distance?

LegacyUser

Hey guys,
My girlfriend and I have been going out for a little over a year, we're in the same college course. Next month we are going on Erasmus, both to France but to different parts of the country, so we won't see each other so often.
We haven't talked about it much apart from saying we'll miss each other and can't wait to visit each other.
I'm particularly nervous as it is my first serious relationship, added to the fact I will be going to my city alone.. I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips on how best to make it work?

magicmushroom

Long distance is tough but not impossible.

Daily phone calls, texting, Skype, Facebook - there are lots of ways to stay in touch when you're missing each other.

How long will you be in France for? How far apart will you be, in terms of travel? Will you have a car so you can drive to see her or will it be necessary to fly?

Take all of this into consideration - if it's driveable, plan on buying a car when you get there (if one of you has a license) and if not, make sure you are putting aside a reasonable amount of money each week or month for alternative travel costs so you can see each other regularly.

A little bit of forward planning and a commitment from both sides to make the effort to see each other and all should be fine

I believe strongly in the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', it's very true, so this could turn out to be a positive experience for you both!
The times you do get together will be extra special and then the planning in between and counting down the days is exciting. Good luck.

iusedtoknow

Have a solid plan in place to chat every few days and visit - but conversely...do not put your life on hold. You are both going to want to experience hanging out with new friends and seeing new things.

I was in a LDR for over a year (eventually moved to Spain) and our rule was never to stop the other doing something fun. This often meant that instead of skyping on Friday or Saturday night, it was Saturday or Sunday afternoon. It meant that we could maintain our friendships with others as well as the relationship. Texts etc went back and forth all day, same with emails etc but face to face time was always the weekend and sometimes once in the week.

The public transit system in France is great - all the trains have extremely affordable tickets so you can hop on and off to see each other.

LegacyUser

OP here - I'm in Paris and she is in Grenoble.. We're about 3 hours apart by TGV train. She's already said she will be coming in October as her friend is going there and she can see us both then. She hasn't worked much this summer whereas I have so I will have a bit more money to spend on travel down to see her.
I guess my main worry is that she is quite independent and doesn't tend to like planning.. So maybe we should have a chat about how we should at least try and talk a few times a week and plan our trips!

westernlass

If she's independent the advice about letting her have fun is even more important. My fiancee and I are long distance for the past year and will be until six weeks after we get married. It's not ideal but once there's a time frame on it, it works better.

We often do things mid week in the evenings and then don't have to stress about the other waiting to chat as we have that arrangement. We do send whats app messages every morning as it's important to start off your day in contact. But it could be 10 pm before we contact each other again so you have that space.

Skype makes a big difference. Having the video as well as voice makes things much easier.

DryJump

I had a long distance relationship (Ireland - USA) with my husband before we got married. Skype is the best! But don't get upset or nervous if one of you can not make the arranged time. Life is just like this.
We also used to write each other letters about random things. Having a date infront of Skype works as well. Both eating at the same time.