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2 years later still so much pain

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  • 16-08-2015 2:16pm
    #1
    SATSUMA
    Registered Users Posts: 706 ✭✭✭


    I lost my sister two years ago and I still have that gnawing pain in my stomach. I miss her so much. My world is so meaningless.

    How long does this go on for? (I go to therapy). The pain is so bad. I'm exhausted.


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    #2
    Rubberlegs
    Registered Users Posts: 7,073 ✭✭✭Rubberlegs


    SATSUMA wrote: »
    I lost my sister two years ago and I still have that gnawing pain in my stomach. I miss her so much. My world is so meaningless.

    How long does this go on for? (I go to therapy). The pain is so bad. I'm exhausted.


    I'm so sorry for your loss SATSUMA. I only have one sister and can't imagine losing her. It must be unbearable. I have experience of losing my Dad, and it's the closest I came to losing my mind:(. I too went to counselling and it helped greatly. The only way I can explain it now, as he is gone almost 5 yrs, is that there is not a day goes by that I don't think of him at some point of the day. But it's rarely painful anymore, I'm more remembering him with a smile and thinking of happy memories. But at 2 yrs I still would have felt very raw, and found it very hard to talk about him even with closest family. I still would have been fixated on his illness and death. Be assured it will get easier as time goes on, 2 yrs is no length to process the loss of someone who was a constant in your life. Be good to yourself, and remember there's no time limit on grief xx


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    #3
    Melanoma
    Registered Users Posts: 310 ✭✭Melanoma


    Sorry to hear that. I lost my father when I was 20 and I imploded. It took two a year to deteriorate and a year to get dig my way back out.

    Somehow I lost patience with being sad and learned I had to fight not to be that way.

    I mean I never wanted to let it drag on but I couldn't stop it. Then I guess I realised part of me was trying to keep him alive by going over and over it in my head.

    I'd been anxious before he died so I guess I was primed to let it get to me.

    There is the fact that life is kinda hard anyhow and that when this is over its not going to just be a barrel of laughs, not all the time. Accepting this and that life won't be the same was what allowed me to let it go. You mourn the loss not just of your loved one but also the life you once had.

    I guess being as proactive as you can, getting out meeting people and learning new things.. going for a walk, singing a song allowing yourself to be something else.. all these things slowly help.

    Take it day by day, it does get better and you will one day wake up and not feel that terrible oh I forgot for two seconds there.

    Don't feel pressure to get over it just concentrate on what you can do and what your doing right.

    Good luck with it


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