Advantages of being single

efb

Getting to feel superior on boards

Earthhorse

kylith wrote: »

Damn right! My ex used to sleep diagonally.

That's what you get for dating a bishop.

DivingDuck

DivingDuck wrote: »

The list is more or less endless in my book (and admittedly I'm conflating being single with being childless), but the big ones are these:

- never have to consult anyone before making plans, either small (going to the pub after work instead of straight home) or large (going on a long holiday to the destination of your choosing)
- everything is where you last left it in your home (granted this requires you to live alone)
- you don't have to make nice with an entire second family who may or may not hate you unfairly
- full control of the remote, the wifi, and the DVR
- not having to share a bed
- knowing exactly what food is in the fridge, freezer, and cupboards
- never having to justify your expenditure to anyone
- not having to worry how you'd cope if your partner got sick
- the toilet, bath, and shower are always free and available for your use
- you never have to worry about your browsing history
- you can decorate your home in the style you see fit and to the level you see fit
- you never have to worry about anyone else's credit rating when applying for a loan, credit card, or mortgage
- no complaints if you don't want to go out for the weekend
- no complaints if you want to stay out all weekend
- you can get fat without anyone complaining about how you've changed
- you can get fit without anyone complaining about how you've changed
- there's nobody to disturb if you keep odd hours
- there's nobody disturbing you when you're sleeping off your odd hours

Basically you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, providing it's legal and you have the means to do so. Sometimes I think I'd like to have someone to spend some time with, then I remember the above and reconsider quickly enough.

What you're describing is better than having a bad partner. Of course there's loads of advantages to being single, but it's only part of the picture to compare best-case-scenario of singledom to worst-case-scenario of coupledom.

Having a good partner and relationship is well worth many small sacrifices. When everything is working well and both are happy and content, there's nothing better than being part of a couple.

justchecked

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

ha!:D

In the morning, I could up and fly to Belgium. Not going to but it's handy to have the option available.

load of waffle.

Earthhorse

Earthhorse wrote: »

The thing I like about being single is not having to explain me jokes. :rolleyes:

Or having a partner explain them to everyone else.

Alf Veedersane

Any advantages of single life eroded with the purchase of a bigger bed.

If I was still single, I wouldn't have watched The Shield, Luther and The Killing a second time.

DivingDuck

Candie wrote: »

What you're describing is better than having a bad partner. Of course there's loads of advantages to being single, but it's only part of the picture to compare best-case-scenario of singledom to worst-case-scenario of coupledom.

Having a good partner and relationship is well worth many small sacrifices. When everything is working well and both are happy and content, there's nothing better than being part of a couple.

A bad partner is someone who shares your bed, feels entitled to half the control over the remote, fridge, decoration, and who would like notice if their lifemate isn't going to be home for a couple of nights, or who would want some say in where and when you went on holidays? I don't think so. It's certainly the least of what I'd expect if I were in a relationship, and it would also be the least of what I would expect to give.

There may be "nothing better than being part of a couple [that works well]" for you personally, but that's your truth, not a universal one. Having a good partner and relationship is well worth many small sacrifices to you, and that's fine. It's your life, and your choice.

Some people, myself included, feel differently. So long as everyone is making an informed choice of their own free will, there's nothing wrong with either one.

Earthhorse

Just had a bowl of Coco Pops in my room with my personalised spoon from Kellogs that I got in a promotion.

Are you jealous non-single people?

No. You are not. You are envious. Being single I can be as pedantic as I God damned please!

Miley30

Do you ever notice that people who are single seem to look better than people who are in long term relationships or Married, just an observation.

DivingDuck

Earthhorse wrote: »

Just had a bowl of Coco Pops in my room with my personalised spoon from Kellogs that I got in a promotion.

Are you jealous non-single people?

No. You are not. You are envious. Being single I can be as pedantic as I God damned please!

Single people can be envious of your personalised spoon, too.

jaymcg91

Miley30 wrote: »

Do you ever notice that people who are single seem to look better than people who are in long term relationships or Married, just an observation.

Definitely. Statistically when people are in long term relationships - they gain weight because they're not actively looking for a mate anymore.

Then the weight comes, the lack of effort kicks in, the sex slowly stops...then divorce.

Christ we're a cynical lot .

DivingDuck

DivingDuck wrote: »

A bad partner is someone who shares your bed, feels entitled to half the control over the remote, fridge, decoration, and who would like notice if their lifemate isn't going to be home for a couple of nights, or who would want some say in where and when you went on holidays? I don't think so. It's certainly the least of what I'd expect if I were in a relationship, and it would also be the least of what I would expect to give.

Dont forget you included:

- never having to justify your expenditure to anyone
- the toilet, bath, and shower are always free and available for your use
- you never have to worry about your browsing history
- no complaints if you don't want to go out for the weekend
- no complaints if you want to stay out all weekend
- you can get fat without anyone complaining about how you've changed
- you can get fit without anyone complaining about how you've changed
- there's nobody to disturb if you keep odd hours
- there's nobody disturbing you when you're sleeping off your odd hours

People complaining about your browsing history, waking you when your sleeping, hogging the bathroom, complaining about physical changes, complaining if you want to go out, and making you explain your expenditure.

Good partners don't do those things.

You're right though, you're probably unsuited to a relationship. It's not for everyone. It takes give and take.

Earthhorse

DivingDuck wrote: »

Single people can be envious of your personalised spoon, too.

True. It's a thing of beauty.

Miley30

jaymcg91 wrote: »

Definitely. Statistically when people are in long term relationships - they gain weight because they're not actively looking for a mate anymore.

Then the weight comes, the lack of effort kicks in, the sex slowly stops...then divorce.

Christ we're a cynical lot .

True and probably those single people look so well because they are trying to attract a mate. :pac:

efb

Miley30 wrote: »

Do you ever notice that people who are single seem to look better than people who are in long term relationships or Married, just an observation.

I find, over a certain age, 25, the opposite is the case.

kylith

I just had a Chinese for dinner. At 10pm. No-one whinging for his dinner. Fantastic.

Miley30

efb wrote: »

I find, over a certain age, 25, the opposite is the case.

How so ?

efb

Miley30 wrote: »

How so ?

the better looking people are in couples.

justchecked

this is great. I never realised it was so good being single, tonight's crywank might just be a ****. Winning.

I want coco pops

Miley30

efb wrote: »

the better looking people are in couples.

Not necessarily, some people just settle for someone for the sake of having someone in their life, which is wrong.

Earthhorse

justchecked wrote: »

this is great. I never realised it was so good being single, tonight's crywank might just be a ****. Winning.

Or a cry. It could go either way.

bluewolf wrote: »

I want coco pops

Are you single?

I am but I don't think the shop is open either way
Or do we get a magic singletons password?

You're never rudely awoken by a poke in the back.

Miley30

Candie wrote: »

You're never rudely awoken by a poke in the back.

Or a poke in the bum :pac:

Miley30

Miley30 wrote: »

Or a poke in the bum :pac:

This is one of those joke-explaining scenarios.

Earthhorse

bluewolf wrote: »

I am but I don't think the shop is open either way
Or do we get a magic singletons password?

All I know is that if you want Coco Pops you can't just sit there wishing it were so. You've got to get out there and say to the world, "Give me Coco Pops or give me death! Or maybe some of that Kellogg's Start. Whatever happened to that? You can't find it in shops anymore."

Words to that effect.

No that sounds like a lot of effort

DivingDuck

Candie wrote: »

Dont forget you included:

People complaining about your browsing history, waking you when your sleeping, hogging the bathroom, complaining about physical changes, complaining if you want to go out, and making you explain your expenditure.

Good partners don't do those things.

You're right though, you're probably unsuited to a relationship. It's not for everyone. It takes give and take.

Yes, I included things that covered both bad relationships (which are obviously abundant-- you only need to consider the Ashley Madison hack or look at the Relationship Issues forum to see that) as well as normal/healthy relationships.

However, while only a bad partner will be constantly complaining about things, the core concepts and issues are still relevant even to a healthy relationship.

Browsing history is a contentious issue for many couples. Some people feel threatened by their partner looking at porn, and some people like to engage in casual flirtation with zero intention of follow-up which could harm their partner if they found out. It doesn't require a paranoid screwball with issues on either side for this to be a problem in the relationship.

Physical changes can impact upon a couple's sex life, intimacy, and general happiness levels. Even if the other party isn't whining because their partner lost or gained a lot of weight, they may still feel less attracted to them as a change has occurred. If you are making big changes to how you look, it's going to have an impact on your partner. If you yourself are a good partner, this is something you should consider. (I am not saying you shouldn't still be able to make the changes you feel you need to make, but you do need to be aware it can upset the balance of your relationship.)

I never said anything about one person "hogging" the bathroom, but if one party is having their perfectly reasonable pre-work shower while the other person is having uninvited digestive convulsions from a bad probiotic yoghurt, it's still going to be a problem.

It is rare that a couple will have the exact same initial expectation of how much time they'll spend at home, out independently, and out together. This is something which has to be discussed and hashed out. While a good partner will not complain about you seeing your friends, you will likely have to enter into negotiations about it, and be prepared to give and take. It's also reasonable and fair to give notice so they're not sitting at home with dinner on the table while you're on the lash with the boys. It's not as simple and carefree as it is when you are single.

A good partner will not force you to justify your expenditure, but in a long-term relationship with shared finances, this is often an issue. You spent how much on a car?! We could have had three holidays for that! Those shoes cost how much?! That was a weekend in Galway! It is only fair to think about your partner when you are spending money if your finances are pooled-- and if they're not joint, you still need to think about it. Can they afford to partake in the activity you're planning? Can you afford to partake in the things they'd like to do? If one party pays for the other, will it create dissent and tension? If one party has to decline opportunities for the sake of their partner's finances, will it lead to resentment?

When you share your life with someone, you owe it to them to be considerate on all fronts. When you are single, this is never a concern. A good relationship will always require more effort from both parties than either would ever have to expend as a single person. While this trade-off is worth it to some people, it will never be a good deal for others because the what you have to give will never exceed what you would take.

Earthhorse

bluewolf wrote: »

No that sounds like a lot of effort

Worst. Libertarian. Ever.