Weirdest thing your housemate has done?

bucketybuck

gossipgirl10 wrote: »

Another housemate in same house we had move in as we had a spare double room in the house and wanted to reduce our rent a little. (Landlord had not given us the ok to do it but he was a bit of a tool anyway so we didn't feel too bad). Girl moves in and seems fine, one day she goes out for a walk. We decide we need to go to the shops for something small like milk will literally be gone 10 minutes. We were barely at the shop when the landlord rings us saying eh what the hell is going on I have someone who says they live in number 10 and hasn't got her key who the hell is she? Turns out she returned from her walk and had no key with her so she immediately knocked on our neighbours door and asked if she could come through and climb their fence into our garden. The neighbours were related to the landlord so called him straight away to see what the story was. We apologized to the landlord for going behind his back and said we would ask her to move out. She said that was fine she understood she couldn't stay and then proceeded to not leave she lived locally and my other housemate had offered to help her pack up and drop her back to her family home but no she still just kept randomly staying it was extremely awkward for a while.

TLDR - have lived with many weirdos

So... Girl moves in, and shortly afterwards goes for a walk but forgets her key. Asks neighbour if she could hop over the fence and ends up being told she has to evict the house she just moved into.

What exactly has she done wrong here? You make it seem that moving house is just like going to the shops and she should have left immediately, or that her family home is a boarding house she has full access to at any time. Frankly she seems better off away from you lot.

scrimshanker

Piper Salty Fork wrote: »

Possessed by Obama lady was a paranoid schizophrenic I think, lovely woman actually, god love her.

Stealing a dog woman was just a rotten bitch, she went out on a night with the hunzos in Kinsale or somewhere (we lived in Cork city), got coked off her manky face and managed to smuggle a dog back on a coach. It was a small dog. Went home to the folks for the weekend then so I had to take care of the dog, and then I was public enemy number one for telling her she was responsible for replacing the tins of tuna and stuff I'd had to take from presses to feed the poor thing.

I attract mad people, it runs in the family

Why didn't you try to find the dog's rightful owner?

kylith

Shared a house with a guy who:
Refused to clean the shower because he didn't wear his glasses in there and couldn't see the dirt.
Used to save up the ends of his fags to roll into new fags.
Let all his meat spoil in order to train his digestive system to not get food poisoning.
Once pried burned food out of a dish, soaked it in water for 2 days, and ate it.
He also used to buy preserved century eggs in the Asian supermarket; those things are gross.

Birneybau wrote: »

Yeah, I'm a bloke and I always put it down before flushing. If you don't and your toothbrush is in the bathroom, sorry to say but it's full of sh!tty/p!ssy germs.

They tested it on Mythbusters and found that it doesn't matter where the toothbrush is; those germs are everywhere.

KatW4

Not as strange as some here. We lived with a guy who would come home from work and go straight to the kitchen to cook his dinner. Fair enough except that he left his massive backpack on his back the entire time. It couldn't have been comfortable! He also used to leave every cupboard door open as he cooked.

At night , he would hang out in the bathroom for over an hour without the light on. We couldn't hear him use the shower or anything so god knows what he was at.

He was such a strange man. We were glad he moved out!

diomed

One week
Working in Africa, apartment paid by company. New guy to move in with me.

1. Met him at the airport on Saturday morning. He had drunk his bottle of duty-free spirits on the flight. The hostess was flustered and unamused.
2. Brought him to lunch at the local sports/social club. He ordered lunch, cut it up, and ate nil.
3. Back at the apartment he looked in the fridge. It was overflowing as I had shopped in anticipation of his arrival. He said there was nothing there and insisted we must go shopping.
4. I brought him to a supermarket in the city centre. He insisted he would go there himself (a few hundred yards from where the car was parked). I waited keeping the supermarket entrance in view.
5. He came out of the supermarket doing a tug-of-war with a supermarket employee with a wire basket. I went over. He had about eight loose bottles of beer in the basket, nothing else, and insisted on bringing the wire basket home. My guess is he walked out without paying. He had no local money. (I had four or five dozen beer at home in a storage room beside the fridge.)
6. On the next day, Sunday, I was playing in an important soccer match and brought him along. No problems, but then I was on the pitch most of the time.
7. At night in his bedroom he kept all lights on, in his room, in the hall, kitchen, and living room. This wasn't convenient as there were glass panels over ever door so the light flooded into my bedroom.
8. I drove him to the office on Monday, introduced him to the bosses, and drove off to where I was working. I collected him that evening, and as I played soccer on Monday night brought him along.
9. That evening when in the sitting room he asked me did I hear what they were saying. What? He said he could hear voices talking to him from the ventilation bricks in the wall.
10. In the middle of the night, about 3am, there was loud banging on the outside door. I opened it to see the security guard, Stephen, with the new arrival. The new guy was wearing a shirt, underpants, and socks. He said he went for a walk. Stephen found him and brought him back.
11. He wandered around the apartment at night, frequently coming into my room, switching on the light of course, and asking stupid questions e.g "are you asleep?". I had to lock my door. He often tried the handle.
12. Breakfast for him on Tuesday was two cups of whiskey. He had been doing more "shopping".
In the office an outside telephone call was put through to my room asking for him. I was surprised he was getting phone calls on only his second day in the country. I took the call as he was not in the room. It was State House returning his call to the President. (The President was like a king, the top guy, above the prime-minister, ruler of the only political party.)
I said there was a mistake and apologised profusely.
At this point I decided to tell the boss. We did business with State House and had lots of high-level contacts so blowing those would be bad news.
The boss took what I said, probably did some checking with other people, and next morning paid an unannounced social visit (unannounced to me and the new guy) to our apartment to "see how the new arrival was settling in". He didn't disappoint. He was drinking a full cup of whiskey. In a few days I only saw him eat one thing, a hard-boiled egg.
He kept showing me a picture of a nun who looked after him when he was sick. Much more stuff, none of it sensible.
The company learned he had altered his documentation to reduce his age by ten years.
13. Next day he was on an aircraft back to the UK.

The night before he left my best mate called round late with a Dutch guy who was just in the country.
We drank a bottle of champagne I had in the fridge (don't know how the other guy missed it) to celebrate the imminent departure.
I was so relieved.

I was expecting a Jack Nicholson The Shining moment all through that week, the time Jack breaks through the door with an axe.

Generic Dreadhead

He sounds like a chronic alcoholic

Lingua Franca

wylie wrote: »

Why do guys have to lift the seat, Why don't women put it up when there are done.
When i see it down I'm like challenge accepted........:)

Mike Cook
23 October 2014 · Edited ·
Today something terrible happened to me. I sat down on a toilet that had the seat left up by a careless male; Me. In 34 years on this planet (for nearly 17 of which I have habitually used a toilet) I have never done this. Truthfully, I had always wondered why women got so upset over the issue. But, as I plunged asshole-deep into the ice cold drink and felt the sting of freezing water kiss the back of my sack, I came to terms with the treachery in not replacing the seat to a down position. I'm now working on a livid bruise that doubles as a tramp stamp and am conjuring the courage needed to admit I was gang raped by germs. In fact, the smearing of my fresh butt cheeks down the inner bowl not only left my ass covered in enough bacteria to cure ebola, but made it to number one on my short list of "gross **** I shouldn't ever do again" and I've accidentally drank my own piss while camping.
All I can think to say to women everywhere is;
I'm really really really....SORRY.
‪#‎terribletoilet‬

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=309018999289335&id=100005437119206&fref=nf

Then there's the fact that especially once you've had a kid or two you don't get much warning at all that you need the loo combined with our urethras being much shorter than those of men, which adds up to sometimes running in with barely enough time to get our trousers and knickers down before spinning super fast to sit down. If the seat is up we're going to end up in the bowl risking a urinary tract infection whilst trying not to piss ourselves.

Hope that finally explains things for you.

Mr_Spaceman

I don't know about anyone else but I'm getting the popcorn out for this thread.

Birneybau

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I don't know about anyone else but I'm getting the popcorn out for this thread.

Why?

Plastik

Also had a guy that was a bit of a toilet seat and floor dribbler. Would never ever clean it up. He would also hang in the bathroom what seemed to be the only towel he owned. So I proceeded to wipe up his wazz with his own towel any time I came across it and he proceeded to keep drying himself with his own wazz encrusted towel after each shower.

The towel was never washed or anything. I had to eventually stop using it as became too afraid to touch it.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

scrimshanker wrote: »

Why didn't you try to find the dog's rightful owner?

Jesus there's always one of these on these threads. Why would you assume I didn't? I'm hardly still looking after the fecking thing

Generic Dreadhead

I sat down on a toilet that had the seat left up by a careless male; Me. In 34 years on this planet (for nearly 17 of which I have habitually used a toilet) I have never done this.

I don't want this guy speaking on behalf of us males tbh.

Man was an adult before he was out of nappies

Lingua Franca wrote: »

Then there's the fact that especially once you've had a kid or two you don't get much warning at all that you need the loo combined with our urethras being much shorter than those of men, which adds up to sometimes running in with barely enough time to get our trousers and knickers down before spinning super fast to sit down. If the seat is up we're going to end up in the bowl risking a urinary tract infection whilst trying not to piss ourselves.

You are literally the Anti-Craic :pac:

Lingua Franca

Cormac... wrote: »

I don't want this guy speaking on behalf of us males tbh.

Man was an adult before he was out of nappies

You don't know his circumstances, he could have taken a decade off in his 20's.

You are literally the Anti-Craic :pac:

I know. But I'm very pro-crack, especially my own.

uch

Caught a fella in London sniffing another Housemate's girlfriends knickers one day when I was home a bit early, thing was this lad was actually great craic and seemed sound, so not sure if he staged it for my benefit.

the_monkey

Plastik wrote: »

Also had a guy that was a bit of a toilet seat and floor dribbler. Would never ever clean it up. He would also hang in the bathroom what seemed to be the only towel he owned. So I proceeded to wipe up his wazz with his own towel any time I came across it and he proceeded to keep drying himself with his own wazz encrusted towel after each shower.

The towel was never washed or anything. I had to eventually stop using it as became too afraid to touch it.

Just as scummy a thing to do tbh..

Summer wind

One house I shared with 3 other girls. The first thing one of them said to me was "don't worry if you hear me screaming, I'm just going upstairs to wax my thighs"

Nodin

Lingua Franca wrote: »

You don't know his circumstances, he could have taken a decade off in his 20's.




I know. But I'm very pro-crack, especially my own.

If something something something, Jesus wouldn't have made cranberry juice.

RaRaRasputin

Not sure where to even start..

Didn't happen to me but a friend used to lived with a housemate for years, and he used to be ok until he decided that it was a great idea to try out drugs, mainly because he can't/ couldn't do anything in moderation. I think the sh1t really hit the fan when my friend found speed in the fridge in the shared vegetable drawer because he had decided that it needed to be chilled. Unfortunately the same food was used for the lunches in work so the discovery caused some dissatisfaction. He also started to be much more open about his wide array of sex toys (and I think he had more than many a sex shop I have seen), so he decided to introduce a "bathing session" in which all of his anal plugs had to be soaked in soapy water in the communal bathroom sink.

There was another big fight about smoking fish in the living room ...ah I will stop now, everybody hates long posts.

sunnysoutheast

I shared a (dump of a) house briefly in Haringey in the early 90s.

A new housemate - a Kiwi motorbike courier - moved in to the box room one weekend. About 3AM on the Sunday morning we were all awoken by crashing, banging and swearing. He was trying to wheel his motorbike up the stairs to his room. He didn't stay long.

RaRaRasputin

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

I think the sh1t really hit the fan when my friend found speed in the fridge in the shared vegetable drawer because he had decided that it needed to be chilled.

I ink he was confusing his speed with chill out drugs...

Ineedaname

I shared a house with a fella who had just moved out of his parents house. One day he told me we needed to get bigger bins. When I queried this he informed me our current bins were full. When I explained that they needed to be emptied I was met with confusion and sheer bewilderment that had to be seen to be believed.

fuzzypickle

A guy I know nipped out one evening to get some milk and a few bits and bobs at a shop nearby and came back to find his housemate bollock-naked shagging the sofa.
Cue lots of girlish screaming and "Jesus Christ!" and not knowing where to look.

The guy thought he'd gone out for the night and wouldn't be back for a few hours. Have to wonder if this was going on every time he was alone in the house. Ugh!

jamesbere

fuzzypickle wrote: »

A guy I know nipped out one evening to get some milk and a few bits and bobs at a shop nearby and came back to find his housemate bollock-naked shagging the sofa.
Cue lots of girlish screaming and "Jesus Christ!" and not knowing where to look.

The guy thought he'd gone out for the night and wouldn't be back for a few hours. Have to wonder if this was going on every time he was alone in the house. Ugh!

Hope he wore protection

sinead88

I live in a 6 bed flat, so I've lived with more than my fair share of weirdos, as well as lovely people of course. One of my ex flatmates used to collect all of the rent and bills from us, before paying it on to the various places it had to go. It turned out that he was collecting council tax (I live in Scotland) from all of us for years but had never paid it on. We all started getting letters from the council saying that we owed them about 9000 pounds, and all of our names were on the bill so we were accountable. He was just intercepting them all and hiding them from us for ages. In the end, I opened a letter from a debt collection agency saying that they were about to suspend all of our bank accounts and take the payments. He never even admitted to guilt. He said that he was just saving all of our money to pay it off in one lump sum and came up with these bizarre excuses. We ended up having to contact his mother to pay the debts. It turned out that he was a serious gambling addict and lost all of our rent money at the casino on a couple of occasions too. He was really violent with his girlfriend in our flat too.
Another ex flatmate had serious mental health issues aswell. She used to wake us all up in the middle of the night by screaming and slamming doors and stuff. Her ex boyfriend lived across the road from us and she used to go absolutely mental and throw jars of pasta sauce, as well as heavy glass photo frames across the street at him and stuff. She ended up losing her job cos she was stoned all the time, and became an escort/ internet porn sensation. She was friends with these 2 massive, terrifying drug dealers who were feuding with each other too. We were genuinely worried there would be some sort of stand off in the flat. I've had other weirdos, but those are the most extreme. Sorry for the essay by the way!

aidoh

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Not sure where to even start..

Didn't happen to me but a friend used to lived with a housemate for years, and he used to be ok until he decided that it was a great idea to try out drugs, mainly because he can't/ couldn't do anything in moderation. I think the sh1t really hit the fan when my friend found speed in the fridge in the shared vegetable drawer because he had decided that it needed to be chilled. Unfortunately the same food was used for the lunches in work so the discovery caused some dissatisfaction. He also started to be much more open about his wide array of sex toys (and I think he had more than many a sex shop I have seen), so he decided to introduce a "bathing session" in which all of his anal plugs had to be soaked in soapy water in the communal bathroom sink.

There was another big fight about smoking fish in the living room ...ah I will stop now, everybody hates long posts.

At the risk of sounding like a square: what's fish?

sammyjo90

lived with a nightmare of a guy about 2 years ago in galway. very noisy, no regard for anyone who was asleep at all.

Came home at 2 in the morning during the week and made a sh!t tonne of noise dragging the kitchen table across the floor and then something across the drive.
So I go down to find him with a gigantic shelving unit. I ask him wtf did he think he was doing and I get back "What? I thought you would like it! I bought it from mayo!"
an onslaught of abuse from him happened after that because I reacted inappropriately so I moved out not long after!

The Randy Riverbeast

aidoh wrote: »

At the risk of sounding like a square: what's fish?

I thought the guy was preparing fish as in the animal. Never thought it could be a drug!

Xenji

One had a habit of sleepwalking naked and then sleeping in the bathtub, the first night we realized it my other housemate went to the jacks and did not turn on the light, he was sitting on the bowl when the sleepwalking roommate sprung up from the bath, took the shower curtain with him, draped it over his shoulders and proclaimed he was Batman, luckily the other roommate was still on the bowl as he was scared ****less.

TerrorFirmer

I think I'm the ****ty housemate, tried to open a bottle of my housemates wine the other night with a corkscrew, it kept getting stuck, and the cork just seemed to be made of the most delicate substance ever that the screw kept coming loose, eventually had to take a knife to it and carve it open.

Following morning turned out to be a screw cap.

philstar

KatW4 wrote: »

At night , he would hang out in the bathroom for over an hour without the light on. We couldn't hear him use the shower or anything so god knows what he was at.

at a guess...pulling his wire?

Birneybau

aidoh wrote: »

At the risk of sounding like a square: what's fish?

The mad shagger was probably smoking cod. It's very addictive. : D

endacl

jamesbere wrote: »

Couldnt he not climb out the window

Yes.

conor8989

ash777 wrote: »

We got a new housemate a few weeks ago. Suffice to say, given the title of the thread, he's fairly weird. I can't type out all the sh*te he's pulled over the past few weeks, because I don't know if he goes on Boards.

But, I've just come from the bathroom to find the bathroom seat up (annoying, but not that annoying), and, when I put it down, there were drops of liquid (either water or pee) all over the seat. That didn't get there from peeing with the seat up, and hitting the seat - they were far too central on the seat. I don't know if that's understandable. But, probably took some effort? It wouldn't surprise me at all at this stage if he urinated on the seat, then put the seat up, just to leave a disgusting, urine 'surprise' for the next person to go to use the loo.

Ugh.

He's the most disgusting creature.

You have to nip this in the bud tell him casually or try to make a joke about it in passing but if hes like this just after moving in god only knows what he will be like when he gets settled id keep an eye on his room aswell i dont think it will be kept tidy

KatW4

philstar wrote:

at a guess...pulling his wire?

Probably but he seemed like the type of guy who wouldn't bother...

Conall Cernach

I once shared a house with four others 2 of which were a couple. Eventually the girl got pregnant, fair enough says you. However, yer man still went out on the town with the rest of us while she was at home in bed. One night I headed off home early and left him in a club. The next morning I got up to find him on the settee with another girl. His own 6/7 month pregnant girlfriend was in the bathroom upstairs. Another housemate had to run intercept to keep the girlfriend talking upstairs while I encouraged yer man to see this girl out the door. She turned up the next day looking him again but luckily the girlfriend wasn't there.

Bummer1234

A new lad moved into our apartment in replace of a student who was going to another city to work, He was grand at the start but 2 or 3 weeks in he started to stay with himself more,He would stay in his room all day and night..Which was ok to us,
But then I noticed after i went to bed he would then get up and watch the tv until 4 or 5 in the morning, Then after awhile he started texting me saying the house was turning into a mess...It was the very same as it was the day he moved in. Had us very puzzled, Then he started putting up a cleaning sheet on the wall to keep the place clean, We said ok to this as the house didn't really require that much cleaning,

Then the day came when he said he was moving out...That involved a drink on its own so myself and the other housemate hit the town and came home late, We came in at 4-4.30am that night,Then we could here the tv been turned off/muted and him sprinting to his room(wooded flooring).

Then it came to getting a replacement, He wanted us the be happy about who he wanted to replace him but what he did was awkward as f**k, He brought the two potential tenants around at about the same time...We didn't mind as long as they weren't crazy and able to pay rent. We choose one and she was lovely, Glad to have gotten rid of the other idiot.

Old Jakey

A manic depressive who was convinced we were stealing off him. Had to get the landlord to kick him out.

Mesrine65

sunnysoutheast wrote: »

I shared a (dump of a) house briefly in Haringey in the early 90s.

A new housemate - a Kiwi motorbike courier - moved in to the box room one weekend. About 3AM on the Sunday morning we were all awoken by crashing, banging and swearing. He was trying to wheel his motorbike up the stairs to his room. He didn't stay long.

Living in a squat in London in the early 80's, me & a Scottish biker called Filthy Frank McGoo claimed the basement in this fantastic Georgian period house.

We decided to build a trike (3 wheeled motorcycle), pharmaceuticals were involved, took us 3-4 months, great job :cool:

Wasn't until it was completed that we realised, 'how the fúck are we going to get it out of the room?' :pac: :pac: :pac:

ash777

conor8989 wrote: »

You have to nip this in the bud tell him casually or try to make a joke about it in passing but if hes like this just after moving in god only knows what he will be like when he gets settled id keep an eye on his room aswell i dont think it will be kept tidy

Thanks. I've had to have stern words with him already, I'm not going to talk to him personally about dodgy drips of God knows what on the toilet seat, but, I'm not the only one appalled by his behaviour! :mad:

ash777

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I think I'm the ****ty housemate, tried to open a bottle of my housemates wine the other night with a corkscrew, it kept getting stuck, and the cork just seemed to be made of the most delicate substance ever that the screw kept coming loose, eventually had to take a knife to it and carve it open.

Following morning turned out to be a screw cap.

:P How many bottles had you already had?!

Fat Christy

Chucken wrote: »

That's what you get for living with boys! :mad:

I live with 3 boys, best housemates ever!!

I lived with a crazy french lady for 6 months....it was horrific. She told me to stop plugging my plugs out after 11 (these were in my room!!!) because they woke her up. She also told me that I wake her up at night going to the bathroom, I had an ensuite.

I opened the window one night because I couldn't sleep with the heat. She complained the next day about catching a cold and then asked me if I opened the window in my room. I stood there in disbelief as she blamed me for her getting a cold. The window is my fecking bedroom!!

There was a multitude of other sh*te as well. Every time I came home there would be something up with her.

ash777

Please don't die, thread. You are a glimmering hope in the world of weird housemates! :P

kylith

Lived with a boyfriend for a while who would occasionally lounge around in his underpants. Didn't bother me BUT my parents called round one day and he just stayed there, in the living room, in his underpants, chatting to my mum like it was the normalist thing in the world. I didn't know where to put myself, or how to subtly tell him to go put some bloody trousers on.

Gunslinger92

Used to live with a Chinese fella and the only really reason that's relevant is because he'd sing the likes of west life and Micheal Jackson in the shower, which is quite funny in that accent :pac:

He got weird after a while though, I came home one day to find a load of drain hair on my shampoo bottle. It had to be him cause it wouldn't have been my friend, it was only the three of us in the apartment.

ash777

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

Used to live with a Chinese fella and the only really reason that's relevant is because he'd sing the likes of west life and Micheal Jackson in the shower, which is quite funny in that accent :pac:

He got weird after a while though, I came home one day to find a load of drain hair on my shampoo bottle. It had to be him cause it wouldn't have been my friend, it was only the three of us in the apartment.

Drain hair? Was it hair he'd shed, and then taken out of the drain area, and put ON your shampoo? Jesus, if that's what you mean!! :eek:

Senna

Threw a full aerosol can of hairspray into the living-room fire to see what would happen.

What happened was, it blew the window out and the front door completely off.

Gunslinger92

ash777 wrote: »

Drain hair? Was it hair he'd shed, and then taken out of the drain area, and put ON your shampoo? Jesus, if that's what you mean!! :eek:

Pretty much, yeah so gross.

He was one of the stay in room all day, keep to himself types. We aren't sure if he ever left the house bar to go the few hundred yards down the road to tesco. He'd be up til all hours playing some sort of video game.

At one stage we were fairy fed up with it, it was a weekend but I'd gone down home. My friend ended up going out, pulling, and purposefully was super loud just to annoy the housemate

Senna

Senna wrote: »

Threw a full aerosol can of hairspray into the living-room fire to see what would happen.

What happened was, it blew the window out and the front door completely off.

That wouldn't happen.

donegaLroad

A guy in the house arrived back with a new pet snake one day, unannounced.

His dad owned the house, I was only a tenant. He kept it in a glass case in the corner of the living room. He fed it mice which he bought at the pet food store and kept in the freezer in the kitchen.

ash777

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

Pretty much, yeah so gross.

He was one of the stay in room all day, keep to himself types. We aren't sure if he ever left the house bar to go the few hundred yards down the road to tesco. He'd be up til all hours playing some sort of video game.

At one stage we were fairy fed up with it, it was a weekend but I'd gone down home. My friend ended up going out, pulling, and purposefully was super loud just to annoy the housemate

That is just manky! :eek::eek::mad: