Weirdest thing your housemate has done?

Tompatrick

TheSheriff wrote: »

Also lived with a primary school teacher who everyday at 3pm ( the rest of the house finished work at 5pm) would land back from work, change into her dressing gown, put on one of these mud mask type things and cucumbers over her eyes and LOCK, yes LOCK herself in the living room until about 9pm that night. She didnt have the tv on, she would just sit in there in complete darkness, curtins closed and ignoring if we knockeed (or banged) on the door. When confronted she said she needed to rest after her stressful day at work. Every fecking day was a stressful one it seems.

Without fail, this happened every single day. I eventually lost it with her and took the lock out of the living room door one weekend.

Possibly the most inconsiderate bitch i've ever had the pleasure of meeting

How long did this go on for? You sound like you were enabling it by allowing it happen more than a single day.

TheSheriff

Tompatrick wrote: »

How long did this go on for? You sound like you were enabling it by allowing it happen more than a single day.

It went on for a few weeks admittedly,

I was new to Dublin at the time so spent most evenings out late and was gone at the weekends.

Its only when I settled in there and started getting home straight from work every vening I started questioning why the two other house mates (both girls who didnt have as strong personalities as her) were eating dinner in the kitchen where we had another tv.

More gems are coming back now about her.....

She took a week off once because she had her period ( she would openly broadcast this). Anyway I came home one evening and after dinner went to brush my teeth to find a nice used tampon sitting about 1cm away from my toothbrush on the sink

wp_rathead

Ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuurrrrccckkk thhhaaaatttt

nikkibikki

TheSheriff wrote:

She took a week off once because she had her period ( she would openly broadcast this). Anyway I came home one evening and after dinner went to brush my teeth to find a nice used tampon sitting about 1cm away from my toothbrush on the sink

Oh that's just pure disgusting!

Myself and a friend rented a student house for the summer months just after doing our finals. A classmates ex gf was to move in with us, they only broke up coz he was going on his J1. On her first night we all went out on the lash. She pulled and disappeared and we went home. Next morning or whenever it was I surfaced, my electric toothbrush was missing....she had brought back whoever she pulled and they "used" it. They didn't brush their teeth with it. Gross. I obviously didn't want it back!

BertyytreB

BertyytreB wrote: »

We had a house mate who was a primary school teacher...we thought great a nice friendly small children teacher. She was only about 5ft, dressed well, wore glasses, spoke well...She even had her mam help her move in, lovely lady.

Then as she was going out on nights out she would dress a bit goth-ish and we thought ok surprising as she looked totally different in her day to day wear...

Then she started bringing guys back...2am...had sex against our bedroom door with some guy....the next weekend chucked all the stuff off the kitchen table and had sex on it. This happened Friday and Saturday nights, on Sundays morning I would blast mass that used to be on the TV. This continued until we asked her to leave. I was left to clean her filthy room that had used condoms all under the bed and mattress...sick behatch.

You never can judge a book by it's cover.

Did you consider giving her a rattle yourself?

breffni bogballer

TheSheriff wrote:

She took a week off once because she had her period ( she would openly broadcast this). Anyway I came home one evening and after dinner went to brush my teeth to find a nice used tampon sitting about 1cm away from my toothbrush on the sink

Winner,close the thread now

rgmmg

Lived with a guy who was also the landlord. Rent was all inclusive and that supposedly covered all items. There was no toilet roll one day so I joked with him to go and get some but he replied "Yeah, we don't have any in at the moment but if you need a dump just have a bath afterwards - that's what I've been doing." Not sure how long we'd been out of toilet roll tbh.

Turned out he was bi too which I realised about two weeks after moving in having returned from work to find him wearing lipstick and rouge. His boyfriend "Dave" was on his way round for a night in with him. "Dave gives the best blowjobs ever" he told me assuredly. Thankfully, I never found out.

thegreatgonzo

BertyytreB wrote: »

We had a house mate who was a primary school teacher...
You never can judge a book by it's cover.

Hmm, teacher, 5ft, slightly goth, filthy bedroom...sounds familiar.
Was she from Kildare?

Billy86

Shemale wrote: »

Any woman I lived with.

Seriously how do they use one toilet roll a day, even as a single twenty year old with internet access I couldnt manage it

It's ridiculous, I actually did a test a few weeks back - live with one guy and two girls. I bought a pack of 12 rolls, kept one in my room, and only used that one. Five(!!) days later the rest were all gone, and I had well over half of my roll left. Which made even less sense since I was in between jobs at the time, and basically in the apartment on job sites nearly all day every day, while the guy was working part time and the two girls were working full time.

HOW!?!?!?!?

scrimshanker

Ladies wipe every time, lads only wipe on number 2.

Tompatrick

Billy86 wrote: »

It's ridiculous, I actually did a test a few weeks back - live with one guy and two girls. I bought a pack of 12 rolls, kept one in my room, and only used that one. Five(!!) days later the rest were all gone, and I had well over half of my roll left. Which made even less sense since I was in between jobs at the time, and basically in the apartment on job sites nearly all day every day, while the guy was working part time and the two girls were working full time.

HOW!?!?!?!?

Do you wipe your knob after a whizz? Women wipe their vageens after a widdle so use more bog roll.

enfant terrible

Tompatrick wrote: »

Do you wipe your knob after a whizz

Yes

Tompatrick

enfant terrible wrote: »

Yes

How much potty paper do you get through?

BattleCorp

Not really my housemate as such but anyway.

One time back in college I got lucky and got to go home with a bird. She shared a big bedroom with two other girls. There were three double beds in the room.

Anyway, we did the biz and fell asleep. Something woke me later in the night and I saw one of the other women get up out of bed, go over to a chest of drawers, open the bottom drawer, sit down on it and take a p1ss. She then closed the drawer and got back into the bed.

Does that qualify as disgusting?

enfant terrible

Tompatrick wrote: »

How much potty paper do you get through?

Thought everyone did

BattleCorp

Billy86 wrote: »

It's ridiculous, I actually did a test a few weeks back - live with one guy and two girls. I bought a pack of 12 rolls, kept one in my room, and only used that one. Five(!!) days later the rest were all gone, and I had well over half of my roll left. Which made even less sense since I was in between jobs at the time, and basically in the apartment on job sites nearly all day every day, while the guy was working part time and the two girls were working full time.

HOW!?!?!?!?

I suppose how much toilet paper you use depends on the consistency of the crap that comes out of you and how hairy your arse is.

Hairy arse probably needs more toilet paper to get it clean. Scuttery sh1te probably needs more toilet paper too.

From a lazyness point of view I love the "ghost sh1tes". There the ones that disappear down the ubend without flushing and then when you wipe your arse, there's no trace that the sh1te was ever there.

Billy86

Tompatrick wrote: »

Do you wipe your knob after a whizz? Women wipe their vageens after a widdle so use more bog roll.

I know, but 11 rolls in 5 days when they were in the house (and not in bed) for roughly a half hour before work, and 4-5 after work, with both out and about for most of the day on weekends... it`s astonishing! I`ve lived with women before plenty of times but never seen anything like this, don`t get me wrong though they`re both sound and don`t have bad habits. But if both were between jobs at the same time and looking for work (especially with it being such a humid summer in Toronto) they could clear through a forest worth of bog roll every week. :pac:

Triangla

Billy86 wrote: »

It's ridiculous, I actually did a test a few weeks back - live with one guy and two girls. I bought a pack of 12 rolls, kept one in my room, and only used that one. Five(!!) days later the rest were all gone, and I had well over half of my roll left. Which made even less sense since I was in between jobs at the time, and basically in the apartment on job sites nearly all day every day, while the guy was working part time and the two girls were working full time.

HOW!?!?!?!?

They are probably stockpiling your toilet rolls in their rooms.

fatbhoy

BattleCorp wrote: »

I suppose how much toilet paper you use depends on the consistency of the crap that comes out of you and how hairy your arse is.

Hairy arse probably needs more toilet paper to get it clean. Scuttery sh1te probably needs more toilet paper too.

From a lazyness point of view I love the "ghost sh1tes". There the ones that disappear down the ubend without flushing and then when you wipe your arse, there's no trace that the sh1te was ever there.

Wonderful insight into the world of sh1te. What about the foot-longs that don't flush? :pac:

corner of hells

fatbhoy wrote: »

Wonderful insight into the world of sh1te. What about the foot-longs that don't flush? :pac:

Or the submarines that come back up.

fatbhoy

Billy86 wrote: »

I know, but 11 rolls in 5 days when they were in the house (and not in bed) for roughly a half hour before work, and 4-5 after work, with both out and about for most of the day on weekends... it`s astonishing! I`ve lived with women before plenty of times but never seen anything like this, don`t get me wrong though they`re both sound and don`t have bad habits. But if both were between jobs at the same time and looking for work (especially with it being such a humid summer in Toronto) they could clear through a forest worth of bog roll every week. :pac:

Maybe they found another use...did their t1ts look bigger when they were going out on the rampage at night?

fatbhoy

corner of hells wrote: »

Or the submarines that come back up.

Yes, I've found that women are responsible for the floaters, usually. Maybe there's a published paper on The World of Sh1te? Where's me Google...

Reiver

fatbhoy wrote: »

Wonderful insight into the world of sh1te. What about the foot-longs that don't flush? :pac:

I remember laying an absolute monster once that was solid it didn't break up on the way out. I felt almost proud after it like a parent might.

scrimshanker

I think we can identify who all the weird housemates are on boards

Tompatrick

enfant terrible wrote: »

Thought everyone did

What do you do at a urinal ?

RWCNT

When I was in Uni one of the lads was weird as ****.

Highlights - watching Beauty & The Beast twice in a row then proceeding to clean up the house while shouting the words to the Gaston song. Telling all of the members of The Brian Jonestown Massacre that they're "not the ****ing Stone Roses" and challenging them all to fight individually. Coming home angry after a weekend at home after finding out that someone's friend had slept in his room while he was away. Nothing odd about that apart from getting so angry he stomped his own bed into splinters. He ended up swinging for one of the boys when he was drunk and felt so bad about it afterwards that he took off his top and handed me his belt, demanding I whip him as punishment.

Crazy dude, pretty chilled in recent years though.

fatbhoy

Might as well add constructively to the thread...

I lived in a mad house full of mad yokes for a while. One morning I woke up and came down to the living room to the sight of a housemate passed-out on the couch with his trousers down and his (soft) c0ck in his hand... he obviously came in drunk, started wonking, fell asleep. This was just before everyone's phone had cameras on them... oh well. Oh how we laughed...

enfant terrible

Tompatrick wrote: »

What do you do at a urinal ?

Who you been talking too

ArnoldJRimmer

fatbhoy wrote: »

Might as well add constructively to the thread...

I lived in a mad house full of mad yokes for a while. One morning I woke up and came down to the living room to the sight of a housemate passed-out on the couch with his trousers down and his (soft) c0ck in his hand... he obviously came in drunk, started wonking, fell asleep. This was just before everyone's phone had cameras on them... oh well. Oh how we laughed...

Was he from Mayo by any chance? Had a similar housemate who was a serious alco, a crowd of us arrived back from the pub one night to see him passed out in front of the Playboy channel, lad in hand

fatbhoy

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

Was he from Mayo by any chance? Had a similar housemate who was a serious alco, a crowd of us arrived back from the pub one night to see him passed out in front of the Playboy channel, lad in hand

No, but his name was Pato...oops :pac:

rawn

My partner and I shared with another couple a while back. We would all do our own washing so there was no reason for our clothes to get mixed up but I was in my housemates room chatting with her and noticed a pair of my underwear inside a pair of jeans on top of the wash basket. I didn't know what to say! They were definitely mine as they were part of a set I had gotten as a gift, she's a size 12 and I'm an 8 so she had to have known they were mine adn they can't have been comfortable... We were moving out in a few weeks anyways so I never mentioned it but that's fúcking weird.

scrimshanker

rawn wrote: »

My partner and I shared with another couple a while back. We would all do our own washing so there was no reason for our clothes to get mixed up but I was in my housemates room chatting with her and noticed a pair of my underwear inside a pair of jeans on top of the wash basket. I didn't know what to say! They were definitely mine as they were part of a set I had gotten as a gift, she's a size 12 and I'm an 8 so she had to have known they were mine adn they can't have been comfortable... We were moving out in a few weeks anyways so I never mentioned it but that's fúcking weird.

I had something similar, I was living with 2 guys and a couple of my bras disappeared. :eek:

fryup

when i was living in London, i had this bitch of a housemate who insisted on watching Eastenders in the living room, even though she had a portable telly in her bedroom...one night i was happening to be watching something else and she fly's off the handle insisting we switch over to Eastenders :rolleyes: i told her in no uncertain terms to get stuffed!! self centred cow

Billy86

fryup wrote: »

when i was living in London, i had this bitch of a housemate who insisted on watching Eastenders in the living room, even though she had a portable telly in her bedroom...one night i was happening to be watching something else and she fly's off the handle insisting we switch over to Eastenders :rolleyes: i told her in no uncertain terms to get stuffed!! self centred cow

Is it just me, or are people who watch soaps in particular more incredulous that the rest of the world doesn`t also religiously follow their favourite one just as much as them, moreso than say sports, reality TV, news, documentary fans, etc?

JohnMearsheimer

I lived with a Czech girl that complained I was brushing my teeth too loudly It wasn't an electric toothbrush and her room wasn't even next to the bathroom.

My friend lived with a complete weirdo. One night he arrived home hammered and went into one of the girl's rooms in the house and pissed on her chair. He pretended like nothing happened the next day. He came on to her a few times as well after that.

Billy86

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

He came on to her a few times as well after that.

That guy really needs to learn to control his bodily fluids.

BattleCorp

fatbhoy wrote: »

Wonderful insight into the world of sh1te. What about the foot-longs that don't flush? :pac:

Here is what you do.

1. Buy a plunger and a sweeping brush handle.
2. Remove plunger head from plunger handle.
3. Attach plunger head to sweeping brush handle.
4. Throw away short plunger handle.
5. Grab new plunger with both hands and hammer the fcuk out of that 12" sh1te.

The extra long handle comes in handy when you are trying to push a 4" sh1te through a 2"pipe.

heldel00

Friend of a friend used to live with J1er who rarely washed, had multiple sexual partners, wore buckets of fake tan and for some bizarre reason used bleach when she did decide to have a bit of a wash.
Throw in living in the stifling summer heat of a major US city and you've got yourself a real party there!!!

Think she developed a bit of a coke habit too and left serious bills behind her just to really take the biscuit.

Billy86

BattleCorp wrote: »

Here is what you do.

1. Buy a plunger and a sweeping brush handle.
2. Remove plunger head from plunger handle.
3. Attach plunger head to sweeping brush handle.
4. Throw away short plunger handle.
5. Grab new plunger with both hands and hammer the fcuk out of that 12" sh1te.

The extra long handle comes in handy when you are trying to push a 4" sh1te through a 2"pipe.

Surely there's got to be an easier way?

Billy86

Billy86 wrote: »

Surely there's got to be an easier way?

Or if you've got a problem that Dynorod can't cure call in these lads!
http://waytogoto.com/wiki/images/2/27/Missle.gif

scrimshanker

Lads, what is it you're all eating so I can keep away from it myself?

ash777

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

I lived with a Czech girl that complained I was brushing my teeth too loudly It wasn't an electric toothbrush and her room wasn't even next to the bathroom.

Was she serious? There's no way you could really be heard brushing your teeth, so what the heck?!!

fatbhoy

scrimshanker wrote: »

Lads, what is it you're all eating so I can keep away from it myself?

Chocolate Swiss rolls... 33% extra free

JohnMearsheimer

ash777 wrote: »

Was she serious? There's no way you could really be heard brushing your teeth, so what the heck?!!

She was a pretty serious person, you'd never really get much of a laugh out of her. She seemed serious about it when she told me anyway. I'm still baffled by it 6 years later.

Crumpets

ash777 wrote: »

Did she ask again for the money?

No but she had an awful habit of doing similar things to get money off us like buying unnecessary shiite for the house and later claiming that we owe her money for it.

rawn

Crumpets wrote: »

No but she had an awful habit of doing similar things to get money off us like buying unnecessary shiite for the house and later claiming that we owe her money for it.

My housemate did that too. "Oh look i bought more ceramic oven dishes and a rice cuber! So you all owe me €2 each." Eh how bout no.

Reiver

rawn wrote: »

My partner and I shared with another couple a while back. We would all do our own washing so there was no reason for our clothes to get mixed up but I was in my housemates room chatting with her and noticed a pair of my underwear inside a pair of jeans on top of the wash basket. I didn't know what to say! They were definitely mine as they were part of a set I had gotten as a gift, she's a size 12 and I'm an 8 so she had to have known they were mine adn they can't have been comfortable... We were moving out in a few weeks anyways so I never mentioned it but that's fúcking weird.

Maybe her boyfriend was wearing them.

sligojoek

Back in the late 80s I Worked for a friend of my father's in a pub in England. One of the perks was a big room on the 3rd storey of one of his houses. I had to share this room with my bosses younger brother. We'll call him davey. He deserves a thread all to himself.
Anyway, An old friend of Davey's arrived from San Fran and was thinking of hanging around for a few weeks before he went home to Ireland. Davey asked me was it OK for his mate to kip in a sleeping bag on our floor . No problem.

He turned out to be a complete nutter. He'd come in pissed every night , lie on the bed and say "Boy, am I pissed?" in an american accent every 30 seconds. At weekends he used to play The Pogues "And the Band Played Waltzing matilda" over and over.

There was a sink in the bedroom for shaving, brushing teeth etc. One night after a session he got up and went to the ground floor for a piss. There was someone else in the toillet so he said he'd run back up to the room and piss in the sink. Howver he lost count of the stairs and ran into Big Patsy's room turned and started pissing. Instead of pissing into the sink he pissed into the cot of a 6 month old baby. I can still hear the slaps he got.

Even if that never happened, he was getting the door the following day anyway. Before he came home from the pub he tried touching up the wife of the landlord (of the pub and his bedroom).

Nekarsulm

Hade a housemate who worked in the library in Rathmines. Librarians a quiet and sebsible; right? She was a kleptomaniac and would bring a carrier bag of books home every day. The house was full of flecking books, thousands.
She also would binge eat, literally empty the fridge during the night, then spend an hour trying get to puke it up again.

Another had a thing about marrying a professor. Any professor would do. She got a job as a minder to an OAP in New York and I lost track of her. Met her last summer and the OAP had died and she married their son. A Professor !

gormdubhgorm

Back when I stayed in college accommodation. There was this American housemate. Who seemed to be tight on funds at first so you would at first feel sorry for him.
But then he could afford to buy stuff like Irish Road signs that were in miles online. The change over to kilometers had just occurred and the signs were not in fact from back in the day... We did not have the heart to tell him.

The feeling sorry for him evaporated gradually, particularly when he used to appear suddenly when the girls in the house made dinner (they paid for all the stuff) and he appeared and says "mmm that smells good". This happened so often that the girls stopped making dinner when he was around.

He also invited his girlfriend over on holidays to sleep in his room. This would have been OK. But this also included her mother and sister who slept in the communal area as he said there were "no bed and breakfasts available". The other housemates who agreed to it regretted their decision when they ended up spending most of their time in the place.

The guys stinginess was not limited to us he used to turn up to house parties without bottles of wine/cans all the time.

The weird part of his stinginess was when I caught him using handcream to wash dishes instead of buying washing up liquid...

When he was asked to do any household chores he would mention his bad back. This was particularly useful when he could avoid emptying the black bin bags.
I tested the bin bag one day to see how heavy it was and it was grand anyone could lift it. So for the the craic I asked him to empty the bin bag.... He proceeded to start a way over the top slow motion lifting theatrics saying "oh man my back".

Another funny bit about him was that he said he used to be a chef in America. Now I don't know what type of chef he was but the guy literally did not know how to boil rice.

I still wonder did he actually believe his own bull**** or did he get a kick out of bull****ting everyone else?