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2 and half year old boy and 2 week old girl

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  • 31-08-2015 8:22am
    #1
    becky1993
    Registered Users Posts: 17 ✭


    Hi all. I'm going through a really tough time , have post natal depression..as you all know its hard work with a newborn but what I'm struggling with is my 2 and half year old. I'm constantly worrying about him.. I don't know what he should be doing all day..I try get out for walks as much as possible but the days are too long. I'm going out of my mind. I don't have garden just a small apartment. What should he be doing while indoors? Is it OK for him to be indoors quite a lot. I can't stop worrying about things like if he's watching too much telly. I don't have friends with kids..


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    #2
    uck51js9zml2yt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    Firstly you need to look after yourself. Have you seen your GP? Do you have family support?

    There are a lot of parent/ toddler groups our there. Joining one would give you both a good opportunity to meet people.

    Were are you located and people might be able to recommend some groups.


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    #3
    Cunning Stunt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭Cunning Stunt


    Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. PND is no joke.

    Like the above poster said, is there anyone - friend or family- who could help you out? maybe someone to mind the little one for a while, while you go out with your toddler, or vice versa?
    Could you maybe put your 2 and a half year old in a creche a few days a week, to keep them entertained and socialised with other kids?


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    #4
    zaz91
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭zaz91


    Sorry to hear your struggling with pnd it's tough :-( but honestly the best thing is to go to your go first took me months to go but it was an almost instant relief when I got it done and over with and after a few weeks of medication life is normal again less worry and not so much of a struggle it kind of just falls in to place :-)


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    #5
    farmchoice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    stop beating yourself up. give him an ipad and let him watch it 12 hours a day, let him watch cartoons all day and eat ice cream. it will only be for a short time and will not do him the slightest bit of harm.
    when the baby goes to sleep get into bed yourself and bring the 2 year old with you give him your phone and a pair of headphone and let him watch those you tube videos of people opening toys that they all love so much.

    in a couple of weeks things will have settled down and you can go for walks and bring him to the park etc for now let him do want ever keeps him quite and look after yourself. IT WILL NOT DO HIM ANY HARM, DO NOT BE WORRYING ABOUT IT. a few weeks slobbing around with mammy and the baby watching cartoons will have absolutely no effect on his development in anyway.


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    #6
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Are you getting treated for the PND?

    I know a symptom of PND is isolation. It's hard, but getting out for a walk and meeting people will really do all of you a lot of good. A bit of Vitamin D in your system won't hurt either.

    Double buggys are avilable secondhand on done deal, or buggy boards, or a sling for the small baby. Cuidiu are a parenting support group who may be near you. They are a great group of people and run things like play and coffee mornings for toddlers and babies. Your little boy will enjoy making some friends of his own.

    If the days are long, you are bored, and so is he. Fill your days with activities and the days will fly by.


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    #7
    monflat
    Registered Users Posts: 1,490 ✭✭✭monflat


    Ah lord help you it's tough goin.
    I urge you to make appointment with gp now.
    It's very common to have PND speaking from experience.
    I had it on my first.
    It's tough goin.
    I didn't go to gp for 11 months and I totally regret this.
    However just explain that your finding it hard to cope.

    It may help to get out for a few walks etc but don't over do it cause it's one big vicious circle.
    If you over do it getting out it will lead to tiredness with night feeds etc.

    Definitely make contact with cuidu or similar group.
    You'll be surprised that other mothers feel the same.

    Don't worry about your older child watching TV etc.
    It's not going to ruin him but you do whatever you can to get thro these difficult times.
    Make that call.
    Book an appointment and go from there
    Good luck


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    #8
    zanador
    Registered Users Posts: 505 ✭✭✭zanador


    Absolutely what farmchoice said - let him watch TV etc for a couple months. It's not going to kill him and it will make you a better mother to him because being a mother isn't about being a 24/7 teacher/entertainment system etc.. it's about modelling good behaviour (by taking care of yourself first in times of stress), being there day in day out with a cuddle and to answer questions, and loving them with all your heart.
    My son is 10 and we have difficult times - for eg i was sick for two weeks earlier in the year and he basically spent 2 weeks 15 hours a day on the Xbox. And he's fine :)
    Get the help you need and cuddle your son even if you don't feel up to it. That will be enough x


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