Totally isolated

PeterPerkins

I lost my husband in June. He died very suddenly. I'm 35 and we had been together for nearly 16 years (married for 9). We lost our 2 children 5 years ago and I have no other family. I have a few friends but most of my other friends are online and it's not the same as talking face to face. I've reached the stage where the calls have stopped and I haven't had any contact from a soul for weeks now. The only person I speak with is the cat and I really don't know what's ahead. I wondered if there are any groups anywhere of people going through the same thing? KT

coathanger

I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I have no words but Have you tried going online to see if there are any bereavement counselling groups near you. They may be able be to give you support & advice.
Take care of yourself.

BabySlam

Sorry to hear your story. This time of year people sign up for night classes - you could probably find something to suit? not sure if you drive or rely on public transport. Some clubs are good to join to make new friends. It will take time, but dont give up. there are also websites where people post events e.g. a walk, and anybody can turn up and join in. not sure of the names of the websites, somebody else might know or just google.

CiarraiAbu2

Sorry to hear about your loss, this is something you might be interested in, I can't post the URL but it is w w w.widow.ie

LegacyUser

I'm not even registered on Boards but I had to reply to your post.

My first thought is what a powerful person you are to have come through what you have and still have the wherewithal to be thinking of helping yourself to get out there. Much respect.

Given that you only lost your Husband last June, I'd imagine the Grieving process is still strong so it's probably normal to be feeling a bit lost.

If it's any help, I'm 36, single and have a small circle of friends - most of whom don't live in the small Midlands town where I live/work.

I think it's first of all about becoming comfortable with your own company and then looking around for things that interest you.

I dabble in the following (just to give you ideas):

Toastmasters (found out about this on Meetup.com)
Learning to Tango (watched the locals Tango in Buenos Aires and fell in love with it - I'm only a beginner though).
Volunteering in the ISPCA - looking after the Dogs/Horses.
Learning a Musical Instrument - took a few group lessons.

I also went to a Career Coach who identified my Strengths/Motivations and knowing them gave me the confidence to sign up for a part-time MA starting later this month - so I'm sure I'll meet loads of people through that.

That all said, I'm fairly comfortable (some might say too comfortable) in own skin and can happily pass evenings in my own company. It's just sometimes I think "Oh that's cool" and off I go investigating - out of a place of curiosity/interest as opposed to not wanting to be on my own - if that makes sense ?

Anyways again I've nothing but respect and admiration for you and hope I've been somewhat helpful.

All the best :-)

Another day

So sorry for your losses. How dreadful that you have had to suffer so much. I echo the widow.ie site. I kost my husband last year and have had tremendous support there. I know there is an upcoming event in D12 if that helps.

PeterPerkins

I'm amazed and hopeful by everyone's responses. I don't feel quite so alone. Although it's difficult to get my head around the fact he is gone I am still very traumatised with the way he went and the fact I had to do CPR. It's on a constant repeat running through my head. I find the only way to get through the days is to keep busy. I've always been very comfortable in my own company but sometimes I just have to hear peoples voices (my other half was a talker). I am looking at joining different groups so as not to become a recluse. I don't want to turn in to Howard Hughes. I've been offered counselling by the hospital social worker but i'm nowhere near ready for that yet. I always knew there was a good chance that he would go before me as we had a 25 year age gap but you just don't think it will happen. I still have no clue what he died from. They said 4 - 6 months for the coroner's report.
I have to find a new way to live but i'm really choked up that people took time to respond to my message. Thank you so much.

jennyhayes123

Oh god you poor poor girl. It's bad enough loosing 2 children but to loose your partner as well is just wicked. It's a cruel cruel world. I hope you pick yourself up on the days that you can and the other days be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. Sending you lots of love. If you ever want to message a stranger pm me X X