Father's rights

YellowOctober

cbyrd wrote: »

By not putting his name on the birth certificate you are denying your baby half of his/her family.
How do his parents feel about their impending grandchild? Do you have any support other than him?
Just because your relationship is breaking down doesn't mean that he will be a crap parent.
As was stated in lots of other posts, his name being on the birth certificate doesn't give him any rights.

It sounds like there's deeper issues than naming him, are you still in a relationship with him or is his involvement for clinic appointments just to keep him involved? Was he always a heavy drinker? I'm asking because if he was and you knew before you got pregnant then it's an eyes wide open situation. If it's a new thing, then it could be he's not coping with impending fatherhood or exams and it's sending him into a loop of self destruction.
Before you write him off altogether, remember at some stage your child will come and ask you who his or her daddy is. What will your reply be? That he didn't pay his way so he didn't get the rights?
I do think it's very wrong that, unless for physical and/or mental abuse, a father is not given the right to be a father just because... I've seen so many men hurt and fight for the right to see their kids. From friends, my exes brother, my own brother and my partner.
You've said he's excited about being a dad, even if he fcuked off the day after conception your child still has the right to know who s/he is.
Be careful, punishing him for his bad behaviour shouldn't affect your child.

I spoke to a solicitor the other day and I don't have to worry about anything . So I will put his name down on the birth cert for the baby's sake. In fairness I have no idea , they never tried to contact me or ask how I am.Well, my family and a few friends yes.

Doesn't mean he will be a crap parent ? He failed his exams....knowing he had a baby on the way ...he chose to drink in the student bar instead of studying . Is that responsible ? Now he's year behind in college and has no money for the baby ?!! Expects me , to adjust myself to his schedule..since he's gona be in college ?!! Like there's something wrong with that picture...
No , I am not with him , he assaulted me the other day , twisted my hand and punched my arm bruising it. What does that say about him ? I had to go to a gp and then was sent to a hospital straight after. I wanted to keep him involved. He talks/talked about how excited he is ,that he cant wait to kiss her and hold her and tells people that he will have a baby . Actions speak louder than words though , right ? He never drank as much , he couldnt handle his drink and kind of had no limit ,but right..i don't even know...it's scary to drink so much and not remember anything ...He's not coping ? Excuse me ? I had to cope ? I passed my exams ...deferred college , worked 30-35 hours a week, payed rent and saved everything I could to baby everything for the baby ...?!! He's not coping ?

I will never lie to my baby about her dad and she will always have a dad.

bp

You already are being a great mammy.

I hope you file a police report regarding the assault....you need a record of that

zeffabelli

Of course the relationship between the parents matter and yes how they treat each other matters.

It is foolish to state otherwise. Domestic abuse extends to sharing a child, not just a home ....

Op he is having a major freak out. You carry on with your pregnancy and school and take care of yourself.... The freak out he is having is beyond what you can do to help so stand back.

Many many dads up the road years later have huge regrets how they treated the mothers of their children. It is terrible and irresponsible to say that it doesn't matter how he treats you. It does matter he just can't see it now.