Making it 'official'

LegacyUser

Do people do this anymore? I've been seeing a great guy for over 4 months now. See each other on average 2-3 times a week, talk every day and on the phone etc and things are going great and I'm very happy! My friends keep asking are we 'official' yet and whilst I'm happy with how things are it's annoying when people keep asking so it has me thinking. I mean I know he's not seeing anyone else and neither am I so I don't see why a label has to be put on it? Or does it?

Would like to hear people's thoughts on this and is there ever a time to make it official? We're both mid thirties btw.

Idle Passerby

All they really mean is do you consider him to be your partner yet? I don't think theres a form you need to sign. They're just asking whether its casual dating still or if its progressed onto something more solid. Since your exclusive Id say it has. You could always just tell them its none of their business.

strandroad

Ignore your friends and what they want... but it's good to have the talk for yourselves. You want to avoid the situation when one side is seriously invested and for the other is much more casual, because they both assumed things.

Exclamation Marc

I think if you're in your mid-thirties and you're exclusive, talking a lot and it's all going so rosy over that period of time, there's probably no need to 'have the talk'.

If you were a younger couple in your mid-twenties or younger I'd maybe suggest having it as younger couples can act one way, feel a different way and define themselves another way, but I think once you pass your late twenties, intentions are fairly visible without having to worry about definitions.

Just keep enjoying yourselves, tell your friends that things are going great and ignore the 'are you official' question, it's nonsense anyway.

cactusgal

You don't need to make a big production out of it, but I think it's always good to confirm that you're on the same page, regardless of what age you are. My boyfriend and I are also mid/late 30s, it was clear from the start that we were exclusive, etc., but after about two months, I just said something along the lines of: "We're going out together, right? As in, I'm your girlfriend and you're my boyfriend?" He said yes, that's what we were. It was a 60 second conversation, but it's still good to have it!

pookie82

Sometimes relationships just naturally gravitate towards seriousness and exclusivity, but generally there WILL be *some* verbal confirmation of this at some point.

If you don't want to label it, then there's no need. But what harm could "we're exclusive right? We want the same things? Just checking" do? I'm assuming he'll confirm it and you can rest easy knowing you're on the same page.

As someone else said, this isn't for all the nosy people asking, it's more to protect your own investment in this. What if he turned around in a couple of months and said "well I never said I wanted to be official?" I'm sure he won't, but it can't hurt to ask and be sure.