Trust issues with wife

LegacyUser

I've been married for 9 years (together 15) and in the last 6 months or so I've started having trust issues with my wife. We have 3 kids and overall our relationship is really solid - we spend a lot of time together, rarely argue and certainly no intimacy issues. The problem (for me) arose when I noticed she had friended an ex on Facebook and had a few chats, nothing intimate but quite friendly at the same time. Not long after that, I found photos of a girls weekend that she had been on a few years ago where she was on a bed with a guy - fully clothed and there were other people in the room but they looked quite comfy. Both of these things took me by surprise as I guess I saw a side of her that I hadn't seen before. I've brought up both things with her, and while a bit embarrassed, she just brushes them off as being nothing. I don't believe in snooping and I came across these things without looking (Facebook was open on a shared PC) but I wonder should I actually start looking for other things in her past or am I completely paranoid?

magicmushroom

I think you sound very paranoid.

The examples you've given sound very innocent to me, I certainly don't think you should go looking for other things because when you're looking for something, innocent things will be twisted in your mind to be what they're not.
That's not fair on your wife.

She leaves her Facebook page open on a shared PC - this in itself shows she has nothing to hide!

You sound like you have a great marriage, put this to the back of your mind as nothing good can come of it.

piperh

I'd disagree with your "not snooping" statement, just because fb was left logged in on a shared pc doesn't mean you have to go through the messages or photos ect.

That said it doesn't seem like she was trying to hide anything so I can't see why you'd be reading more into it if your relationship is really as solid as you say. I think you need to take a step back and see why you are suddenly doubting her, is it her issue or yours.

Exclamation Marc

If she was doing anything, she'd be hiding it. She's clearly not hiding anything. Her ex could have friended her on FB and she didn't want to be rude.

Let it go otherwise your paranoia will build, you'll start questioning innocent things for no reason and you'll start finding reasons to be paranoid.

LegacyUser

Your together 15 years so this ex is from quite sometime ago. I've had ex's from a decade ago friend me on facebook just to see what I was up. There was nothing in it, no different to the half dozen people I went to school with who did the same on facebook. Why would she be unfriendly to an ex from at least 15 years ago? Even if they had a bad breakup it's so long ago now I don't see what the issue is with having a few facebook catch ups to see where life has taken you in 15+years.

As for the photo sounds like half the photos I see of friends on facebook...hell I neededa photo of my cousin for a surprise we were doing for her so I checked her facebook and every photo was her hugging people - male and female - and she's married, it's facebook that's the sort of crap that gets posted there.

Is this really all thats got you worked OP or has something else changed to make you look at these two events differently?