Boyfriend Trouble

TimeisPrecious

I don't know what to do. I am feeling really insecure in my current relationship which I have discussed with my BF but he hasn't done anything to help matters (not that I'm saying he should have to) We have a long distance relationship although it's only an hours drive. I know I'm going to sound ridiculous but I hate that he never tells me I'm pretty or that I look nice or any compliments at all. We haven't seen each other few weeks as we had a huge fight and we had planned to meet today then he tells me that lads asked him on night out and now he will come Sunday instead (as I was babysitting Friday) am I wrong to be so annoyed that we planned a night together after not seeing each other for weeks and he cancelled for some lads night out. I just feel like I'm always second best. I don't feel special. I don't feel like I matter in this relationship and I just feel frustrated all the time. I've tried talking to him about this and he just doesn't listen. Help!

Aufbau

It sounds like you really want to be in a relationship, and that you're trying to give him every chance to fix things. Otherwise, why would you be blaming yourself for this?

He doesn't want to fix things at all. Read what you've written a few times and really hear what you've said. You're not in a relationship, you're just been going out with this lad and it's not going at all well. In fact it sounds like it's already over but you still haven't given up. Was it you who persuaded him to meet up after the row? He doesn't really want to meet you, does he, he'd prefer to go out for a pint.

Text him and say 'I'd forgotten but I have to visit my aunt (or something) on Sunday and can't meet up, sorry' - and leave it at that.

Let it go, it's not worth having.

Exclamation Marc

If he wanted to fix things, he'd try to meet you sooner rather than later. A few weeks is a long time to leave something stew especially if you only live an hour away. If he had any inkling to fix it, he wouldn't delay. And if you've tried talking to him and he's not listening, he just doesn't sound bothered.

He doesn't see you, he doesn't make you feel happy, he doesn't compliment you, he doesn't listen to your problems, he makes you frustrated and he's happy to leave fights sit for a few weeks. Just read that sentence, does that sound like a worthwhile relationship?

Walk away from it, it's not going to get any better.

LegacyUser

OP: to me an hours drive isn't long distance at all....it could be friday traffic on the m50! Clearly, this guy is not giving you the appreciation you seek, so my advice is: spare yourself, cut him loose and find someone else. You're only damaging yourself by putting up with it, he seems that he's just not in to you. What advice would you give your best friend?
Best of luck xx

MagicMarker

You're not on a long distance relationship. You live an hour away from each other but haven't seen each other in weeks, and now he's stood you up.

Sorry, but it doesn't sound like you're in a relationship at all.

Xterminator

Hi OP. your username is timeisprecious.

your time is too precious to be in this relationship that has little benefit for you. you would be better off looking for someone who makes you happy. if he is like this now, how will it be in a year or 2?

fuzzypickle

I'd dump him. He sounds like a pain in the arse and it's obvious he's not all that bothered. There is no point hanging around for this guy, believe me.
Get rid of him and enjoy being single. Focus on yourself for a while and build up your confidence again.

Wompa1

TimeisPrecious wrote: »

I don't know what to do. I am feeling really insecure in my current relationship which I have discussed with my BF but he hasn't done anything to help matters (not that I'm saying he should have to) We have a long distance relationship although it's only an hours drive. I know I'm going to sound ridiculous but I hate that he never tells me I'm pretty or that I look nice or any compliments at all. We haven't seen each other few weeks as we had a huge fight and we had planned to meet today then he tells me that lads asked him on night out and now he will come Sunday instead (as I was babysitting Friday) am I wrong to be so annoyed that we planned a night together after not seeing each other for weeks and he cancelled for some lads night out. I just feel like I'm always second best. I don't feel special. I don't feel like I matter in this relationship and I just feel frustrated all the time. I've tried talking to him about this and he just doesn't listen. Help!

How long have you been going out? What is it you do for him that he doesn't reciprocate? Honestly, if it's early in the relationship and I was the guy. I'd probably stop making an effort too. Fighting and a lady getting upset about you not complimenting her enough early in a relationship is a red flag to me. If you've be in a relationship for a long time, has he always not paid your compliments...so people are like that but if you have been in the relationship for a long time..does he have a car? Because 1 hour isn't very far away at all!