Would you date someone who was overweight ?

Penny Tration

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Well in that photo of her in a corset she certainly doesn't look it.

Another photo was posted earlier where she certainly does look it.

zeffabelli

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Well in that photo of her in a corset she certainly doesn't look it.

Honestly she is enormous.

dark crystal

Dial Hard wrote: »

They're not mutually exclusive, you know

Of course they aren't. I'm sure there are many overweight men who aren't nice people.

Just talking about attraction here. For me, it goes deeper than a few stone; it's about someone who got a kick from putting down others to feel superior about themselves (calling them disgusting etc.)

I could never date someone with those traits.

jpboard1

zeffabelli wrote: »

Honestly she is enormous.

No she is not

strelok

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Well in that photo of her in a corset she certainly doesn't look it.

well.. yeah she's wearing a corset

Whitewinged wrote: »

Actually if you look at bmi and how someone is classified as obese, you would be surprised at what obese actually is. I remember seeing some website that showed pictures of what I would consider normal looking women and according to bmi they were obese.

exactly, several people have made this point. the obesity epidemic has warped our view of what a normal healthy weight is. parents can't recognise dangerous levels of obesity in their children. people think their bulging stomachs are just a cute little muffin top. slim normal weight people are considered to be starving themselves. you can have people who are 300lbs and above who think they 'could maybe do with losing a pound or two, but nothing drastic'

it's insane

jpboard1 wrote: »

No she is not

yes, she really is.

jpboard1

strelok wrote: »

yes, she really is.

She is not enormous.

Whitewinged

strelok wrote: »

well.. yeah she's wearing a corset



exactly, several people have made this point. the obesity epidemic has warped our view of what a normal healthy weight is. parents can't recognise dangerous levels of obesity in their children. people think their bulging stomachs are just a cute little muffin top. slim normal weight people are considered to be starving themselves. you can have people who are 300lbs and above who think they 'could maybe do with losing a pound or two, but nothing drastic'

it's insane




yes, she really is.

Yea but if that's the case then a lot more men are attracted to "obese" women. They just don't know the woman would be obese. Especially if your talking about women in the sizes 12/14

zeffabelli

Whitewinged wrote: »

Yea but if that's the case then a lot more men are attracted to "obese" women. They just don't know the woman would be obese. Especially if your talking about women in the sizes 12/14

Obese is 20% over what you should be.

Morbidly obese is another matter, corset or no corset.

Wang King

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Might want to remove the link in your post there Frank, it's giving access to your whole photo album...


Awkward :pac:

Pic of Queen of Hearts is quite nice though

strelok

Whitewinged wrote: »

Yea but if that's the case then a lot more men are attracted to "obese" women. They just don't know the woman would be obese. Especially if your talking about women in the sizes 12/14

well yeah, i made that point earlier in the thread. you see lots of people of varying weights and shapes with other people of varying weights and shapes. obese doesn't just start at american deathfat.

Wanderer2010

Pretty impossible NOT to find someone who is overweight, male or female, in this day and age, what with so many people in this country overweight or obese. Im not saying its a good or bad thing either way, but these people who shy away from anything weight-related are surely in the minority now and will soom have nothing to entertain themselves but magazine pictures of models from the 80s and 90s..
The original question is akin to asking "Would you date someone with mortgage difficulties", overweight people are the majority now, not the minority.

MilesMorales1

Depends on how overweight we're talking, like 'overweight' or obese.
Maybe overweight, no to obese.

eviltwin

My husband is overweight and always has been. It's never bothered me. I think he's amazing and sexy and gorgeous and most importantly he's a really lovely person which matters more that a number on a scale.

jpboard1

eviltwin wrote: »

My husband is overweight and always has been. It's never bothered me. I think he's amazing and sexy and gorgeous and most importantly he's a really lovely person which matters more that a number on a scale.

Glad to here it. Just wondering do you ever worry about his health?

Mister Vain

strelok wrote: »

you really think that woman isn't morbidly obese?

This is what you call morbidly obese. http://weighapie.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Woman.jpg

That other woman is obese for sure but not morbidly obese.

Frank O. Pinion

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Might want to remove the link in your post there Frank, it's giving access to your whole photo album...

Awkward :pac:

Not my account, I just used Google to find an image of her.

strelok wrote: »

a morbidly obese woman wearing a corset

is this supposed to shock me or something?

I knew someone would say the corset is doing all the work...oh well. She's not morbidly obese in that corset picture, though. She's actually a good bit lighter than the picture of her "rolls", as they were taken years apart.

Penny Tration wrote: »

Bmi is weight divided by lbs, right?
So, 240lbs/5 foot 5 inches (5.4-odd feet) is a bmi of 44. Morbidly obese

Nope, it's dividing your weight in kilograms by your height in metres, then divide the answer by your height again to get your BMI. So 5' 5", 240lbs is not morbidly obese, by medical terms.

zeffabelli

Mister Vain wrote: »

This is what you call morbidly obese. http://weighapie.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Woman.jpg

That other woman is obese for sure but not morbidly obese.

No that is have to call the fire department to get help to go to the bathroom because you need a forklift obese.

Chickentown

Jon Stark wrote: »

I'm not a heavy drinker. I would drink on a Friday or Saturday and even then, I'm bit of a lightweight so can't drink a huge amount. 5/6 pints max.

Yeah I like my food but I'm fairly sensible with my intake.

Inactivity is the killer me, my body has been used to a certain shape for much of my life and I had to work incredibly hard to get fit. Like people have good muscle memory, I have the fat version of that. I don't care about the science of that, that's how my body works.

So I don't really care about what's "bollocks" to you.

Jon Stark debunks science... Jon Stark really does not know!!!

strelok

zeffabelli wrote: »

No that is have to call the fire department to get help to go to the bathroom because you need a forklift obese.

how in the hell did we get this stage as a culture?

Wibbs

purplecow1977 wrote: »

It's when they start making derogatory comments that it's not okay.

dark crystal wrote: »

Not at all. Being cruelly derogatory about people they don't find attractive however....

This. Very much this.

strelok wrote: »

you clearly don't care about the science of that because it's grade A, 100% absolutely no bones about it, nonsense.

your body obeys the laws of physics, just like everybody elses, I am sorry to inform you.

Yes and no. At a very basic level yes, however add insulin resistance into the mix and things get more complex. So lifetime skinny person A with a normal insulin response eats 100 calories of carbs their body mops that stuff up, Lifetime(or a few years) fatter person with a sluggish insulin response bordering on diabetes converts more of it to fat. Same amount of food taken, different result.

Now this is just a tiny anecdotal sample on my part, but two blokes I know who were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and started on meds for it the weight fell off them. Like a few months not seeing them was a real WTF happened to you moment.

strelok wrote: »

exactly, several people have made this point. the obesity epidemic has warped our view of what a normal healthy weight is. parents can't recognise dangerous levels of obesity in their children. people think their bulging stomachs are just a cute little muffin top. slim normal weight people are considered to be starving themselves. you can have people who are 300lbs and above who think they 'could maybe do with losing a pound or two, but nothing drastic'

There is definitely an element of that alright. I used to think it was people just being kind and not being dickheads pointing out others weight gain and sometimes it is and fair enough, but I have noticed more and more the perception shift, in both men and women. I knew one family who were in complete denial about their kids weight and appeared genuinely shocked when doctors pointed it out and these kids were very big.

Andre 3000

Mister Vain wrote: »

This is what you call morbidly obese. http://weighapie.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Woman.jpg

That other woman is obese for sure but not morbidly obese.

Why why why why why did you link that :eek::(:(:mad:

Chickentown

Obese people disgust me

Wang King

Andre 3000 wrote: »

Why why why why why did you link that :eek::(:(:mad:

You're getting turned on aren't you?

eviltwin

jpboard1 wrote: »

Glad to here it. Just wondering do you ever worry about his health?

Not really, but if it ever got to the point his health was compromised I'd be having words but from an aesthetic point of view I'm not put off by a bit of extra weight.

Wibbs

Frank O. Pinion wrote: »

So 5' 5", 240lbs is not morbidly obese, by medical terms.

Bloody hell, she's nigh on 6 stones heavier than me. That's like carrying around a ten year old child. :eek:

Andre 3000

Wang King wrote: »

You're getting turned on aren't you?

I certainly won't be putting your username into practice upon opening that link :pac:

Mister Vain

Wibbs wrote: »

Bloody hell, she's nigh on 6 stones heavier than me. That's like carrying around a ten year old child. :eek:

Her boobs are about a child each in weight.

Penny Tration

Frank O. Pinion wrote: »

Not my account, I just used Google to find an image of her.


I knew someone would say the corset is doing all the work...oh well. She's not morbidly obese in that corset picture, though. She's actually a good bit lighter than the picture of her "rolls", as they were taken years apart.


Nope, it's dividing your weight in kilograms by your height in metres, then divide the answer by your height again to get your BMI. So 5' 5", 240lbs is not morbidly obese, by medical terms.

Using one of the .gov calculators, she would have a BMI of 39.9. Given our weight fluctuations during the day, by the end of the day, chances are she'd hit the 40 mark.

Subcomandante Marcos

Penny Tration wrote: »

Bmi is weight divided by lbs, right?

So, 240lbs/5 foot 5 inches (5.4-odd feet) is a bmi of 44. Morbidly obese.

The woman in that photo isn't anywhere close to 240lbs, that's 17 stone. She is well under 200lbs. I'd guess she weighs about 170, which is about 12 stone.

Wang King

Andre 3000 wrote: »

I certainly won't be putting your username into practice upon opening that link :pac:

Go on, admit it, she's the finest two women you ever laid eyes on!

r93kaey5p2izun

There is no way that woman is morbidly obese. The people insisting on it sound as ridiculous as those trying to normalise and excuse the current obesity epidemic. It's true that our perception of overweight has become warped but over exaggeration does your point no favours. A quick google gives her a height of 5.5 and a weight of 187 lbs. That is obese, not morbidly obese. Even pushing her weight to 220 lbs she is not morbidly obese. It's quite clear from her photos that she is not morbidly obese.

Anyway, I'm a healthy weight and I would date, and have dated, overweight men. I would be less likely to date an obese man but I wouldn't rule it out. It's not my ideal but reality is a very different thing and there's more to attraction than looks.

strelok

Wibbs wrote: »

Yes and no. At a very basic level yes, however add insulin resistance into the mix and things get more complex. So lifetime skinny person A with a normal insulin response eats 100 calories of carbs their body mops that stuff up, Lifetime(or a few years) fatter person with a sluggish insulin response bordering on diabetes converts more of it to fat. Same amount of food taken, different result.

again, yes and no that's true enough and all but it's such a small part of the overall picture that it can be safely ignored in 99% of conversations and the danger of it is that people will use things like that (and the thyroid) to explain away their weight gain rather than taking responsibility for it.

There is definitely an element of that alright. I used to think it was people just being kind and not being dickheads pointing out others weight gain and sometimes it is and fair enough, but I have noticed more and more the perception shift, in both men and women. I knew one family who were in complete denial about their kids weight and appeared genuinely shocked when doctors pointed it out and these kids were very big.

it's pretty amazing how easy it is to mould perceptions. i can remember myself, looking at the obesity charts and thinking 'sure those people aren't fat at all'

naturally I was verging on morbid obesity at the time so my perception of normal weight was just hilarious.

Chickentown

Chickentown wrote: »

Obese people disgust me

That's very harsh. While I might not want to date an obese person because of the physical attraction thing, my opinions on the worth or merit of a person are judged wholly and absolutely on their personality.

Mister Vain wrote: »

Her boobs are about a child each in weight.

When things start to head South, they'll be a child each in height too...

Andre 3000

BMI is incredibly flawed. A guy who's a member of the same gym as me is touching 230 lbs and is barely 6 foot yet the guy is the definition of "shredded"...yet his BMI states he is obese which is obviously bollocks. Your body fat percentage is a much more accurate measure.

zeffabelli

Wibbs wrote: »

This. Very much this.

Yes and no. At a very basic level yes, however add insulin resistance into the mix and things get more complex. So lifetime skinny person A with a normal insulin response eats 100 calories of carbs their body mops that stuff up, Lifetime(or a few years) fatter person with a sluggish insulin response bordering on diabetes converts more of it to fat. Same amount of food taken, different result.

Now this is just a tiny anecdotal sample on my part, but two blokes I know who were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and started on meds for it the weight fell off them. Like a few months not seeing them was a real WTF happened to you moment.

There is definitely an element of that alright. I used to think it was people just being kind and not being dickheads pointing out others weight gain and sometimes it is and fair enough, but I have noticed more and more the perception shift, in both men and women. I knew one family who were in complete denial about their kids weight and appeared genuinely shocked when doctors pointed it out and these kids were very big.

Yeah it can get complicated. I had an illness which literally forced me to stop eating for a couple of months...and I only lost ten pounds in two months of living on rice milk....metabolism went into survivor mode and completely shut down. Throw in thyroid regulation and hormones and things can get pretty funky too.

As for the last paragraph, it takes a couragous and good friend to risk your anger and say, look I am risking your anger here, and I am saying this because I love you and this is NOT GOOD FOR YOU. Whehter its for alcohol or compulsive eating or any other kind of comfort toy you want to take away from them. No one wants to be the bad guy.

strelok

Andre 3000 wrote: »

BMI is incredibly flawed. A guy who's a member of the same gym as me is touching 230 lbs and is barely 6 foot yet the guy is the definition of "shredded"...yet his BMI states he is obese which is obviously bollocks. Your body fat percentage is a much more accurate measure.

bmi doesnt apply to people who work out, it applies just fine to the general population

Frank O. Pinion

Penny Tration wrote: »

Using one of the .gov calculators, she would have a BMI of 39.9. Given our weight fluctuations during the day, by the end of the day, chances are she'd hit the 40 mark.

And if she had a bowel movement, she'd be under the 40 mark again.

But like I said, strictly speaking by numbers, 5' 5", 240lbs is not morbidly obese by any medical terms. Dors Feline also recently got a breast reduction, so that would've reduced her BMI quite a bit too.

zeffabelli

You know what is really unfair....when you diet your boobs are the first to go.

Andre 3000

strelok wrote: »

bmi doesnt apply to people who work out, it applies just fine to the general population

So people who exercise are not part of the general population?

strelok

Andre 3000 wrote: »

So people who exercise are not part of the general population?

when it comes to the bmi no, the general population is pretty sedentary and don't have the muscle mass required to throw the bmi charts off

strelok

zeffabelli wrote: »

You know what is really unfair....when you diet your boobs are the first to go.

i can't say that bothered me

Mister Vain

strelok wrote: »

bmi doesnt apply to people who work out, it applies just fine to the general population

Plenty of people work out. How are they excluded from the general population?

Subcomandante Marcos

strelok wrote: »

bmi doesnt apply to people who work out, it applies just fine to the general population

The person who developed the BMI, Adolphe Quetelet, explicitly said in his writings the equation was NOT an accurate way of assessing a person's health.

Andre 3000

strelok wrote: »

when it comes to the bmi no, the general population is pretty sedentary and don't have the muscle mass required to throw the bmi charts off

I'm sorry but you're talking absolute hoop here. Nonsense.

lukesmom

I was slim and got sick. The medication I took contributed to me gaining almost 3 stone and I was a fatty. However my husband did not leave! He never even brought the subject of weight up because he could see how it had affected me and how when I was to come off the med I had a plan to bust my ass for months to lose the weight. So 5 months ago I came off the med and within a three month period I lost the 3 stone. So I don't get asked am I pregnant anymore! I've seen both sides of the coin. I was that fat girl. It's a lot easier to lose the weight than people think. I can't understand how people stay fat when they could work on losing it. Unless you are sick and have a valid reason, get up off your arse and exercise and eat better, less sugary carby crap, more protein and nutrients. It cost me nothing, no groups, no pills, no shakes, no wraps, no gimmicks just pure determination, walking is free and eating healthy is not expensive. There is no excuse to be fat.

meeeeh

My partner is overweight, well obese really. He is also hard working and one of the smartest and most intelligent people I know. And most importantly he is great fun to be with.

I would rather have that than someone boring me with whey discussions and their bench lifts. I met plenty of good looking, fit guys. My brother's friends seemed all fit that description. Unfortunately only my brother and surprisingly another friend who was professional footballer (yeah I know) weren't dumb.

Mister Vain

strelok wrote: »

the general population is pretty sedentary and don't have the muscle mass required to throw the bmi charts off

Do you have any stats to back that up?

strelok

Subcomandante Marcos wrote: »

The person who developed the BMI, Adolphe Quetelet, explicitly said in his writings the equation was NOT an accurate way of assessing a person's health.

of course not, it's for general trends in the population. it's still a great warning that if you land in obese you should do what you can to get the ever loving **** out of there

I Miei Pantolini wrote: »

Even then it's still a crude metric. Much better to look at body fat percentage.

waist to height ratio is the best one i think but just because it's a crude metric doesn't mean it's not relevant, especially when it comes to society generally

Andre 3000 wrote: »

I'm sorry but you're talking absolute hoop here. Nonsense.

how?

strelok

Mister Vain wrote: »

Do you have any stats to back that up?

on what, people being sedentary or muscle weighing more than fat?

Subcomandante Marcos

I Miei Pantolini wrote: »

Even then it's still a crude metric. Much better to look at body fat percentage.

There are tons women who are 8-9 stone who have the same symptoms of metabolic disease as morbidly obese people because despite looking "skinny" their body fat percentage is huge, they are sedentary and eat **** food.

Then there are people who are overweight and metabolically perfect. There's even a name for it, metabolically healthy obesity.
Even body fat % isn't a perfect sign. The only real way to see if someone is "healthy" or not is to test their metabolic function and heart health.