Would you date someone who was overweight ?

MarkY91

Personally no. I'm not sexually attracted to people who are too big and I wouldn't date someone I'm not attracted to.

meeeeh

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I do think there is a large element of psychology involved in trying to lose weight. Most overweight people know how to lose weight, that's not the issues. Last year when I lost weight, it fell off, and it has stayed off, because I was in the right headspace to do it. It didn't work previous times, because I didn't understand why I had overeaten in the first place.

As far as I know there is also a whole host of other factors that we respond to certain stimuli differently, then there are socioeconomic factors that will determine a lot. I don't think anyone can deny that we are becoming fatter as a society but the truth is we also did not yet find a fool proof dieting system that actually works and about irc 80% of people ultimately fail to loose weight. The only thing that seems to work is preventing getting overweight in the first place.

ThinkProgress

purplecow1977 wrote: »

I really disagree with this.

Many 'fatties' struggle daily with their confidence and are 9 times out of 10 well aware of the dangers their excess weight brings. How many fat people do you know actually believe the excuse they were 'born that way' or it's to do with their 'genes?' Give me a break!

As for your comments about 'wanting to have all the things healthy people have and thining life owes it to them', I have no idea what that means but I don't think I want to know the answer either. Oh, I must be deluded so!

Actually I see many 'fatties' who seem completely convinced that they're fighting a losing battle. When in reality they're just losing the battle because they don't have enough fight!

Once you've made that mental decision to give up... or just accept your lot. That should really be a dual admission. You're not just giving up on losing weight, you're giving up on true happiness too! (careful here, I'm not suggesting NO HAPPINESS... just less than true happiness)

But not every 'fattie' accepts the 2nd part of that deal. Many do genuinely think life owes them something.

Maybe all the diet book authors and fitness instructors owe them something - their money back. (because many are fraudsters) But ultimately it's their own fault that they're fat... and they can't expect life's written and unwritten rules to change just for them!

Of course there's always fantasy. Many people are pros at creating a fantasy land to live in!

meeeeh

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Actually I see many 'fatties' who seem completely convinced that they're fighting a losing battle. When in reality they're just losing the battle because they don't have enough fight!

Once you've made that mental decision to give up... or just accept your lot. That should really be a dual admission. You're not just giving up on losing weight, you're giving up on true happiness too! (careful here, I'm not suggesting NO HAPPINESS... just less than true happiness)

But not every 'fattie' accepts the 2nd part of that deal. Many do genuinely think life owes them something.

Maybe all the diet book authors and fitness instructors owe them something - their money back. (because many are fraudsters) But ultimately it's their own fault that they're fat... and they can't expect life's written and unwritten rules to change just for them!

Of course there's always fantasy. Many people are pros at creating a fantasy land to live in!

Ok this is a perfect example of a post saying it must be so because I said so without any actual scientific research.

Tarzana2

PM me nudes wrote: »

Fat = ugly, lazy and disgusting. No thanks.

I'm all for people's preferences but comments like the above are just totally unnecessary and often plain wrong.

Fat doesn't always equate to all those things. Firstly, being overweight certainly doesn't always mean you'll be ugly. If you have a good face, it can often stand up to a bit weight gain. Fat people might be lazy in the weight-shedding part of life but that doesn't necessarily mean they are lazy as a whole. Disgusting? Well, that's your call, but I think it's pretty awful to talk about a fellow human being that way.

ThinkProgress

meeeeh wrote: »

So tell me do they also have to be blond and have blue eyes?

Anyway I seem to remember a theory from anthropology that physically defective ones actually win through time because they have to use intellect to survive.

Why? Do you think I'm a neo-nazi because I value physical beauty? Am I some evil nasty creature with no feelings or personality?

I have news for you, everybody benefits from higher intellect... Regardless of their level of attractiveness. Being ugly doesn't make your brain bigger. It's just a cliche that beautiful people are less intelligent.

The two things are often closely connected actually. It's just that the media likes to show us examples of dumb blondes to perpetuate that myth...

Beauty is health. No matter who the person is, if they're healthier they'll be happier... and happier people are more beautiful.

meeeeh

No I don't think you are neo Nazi , however I do think you are making a whole host of theories that have no other foundation than your own prejudices.

Btw I never claimed that intellect has any correlation to appearance.

ThinkProgress

meeeeh wrote: »

As far as I know there is also a whole host of other factors that we respond to certain stimuli differently, then there are socioeconomic factors that will determine a lot. I don't think anyone can deny that we are becoming fatter as a society but the truth is we also did not yet find a fool proof dieting system that actually works and about irc 80% of people ultimately fail to loose weight. The only thing that seems to work is preventing getting overweight in the first place.

Ah, the old 'waiting for a cure' excuse... :rolleyes:

People don't lose weight, because it's not important enough to them. If someone gave you 6 months to lose weight, or they'd put a bullet through your skull... do you think you'd find a way?

Damn sure you would.

It's just too easy to stay fat in this world. The consequences are not immediate or stark enough for most people.

Most fat people can live for many years before their lifestyle catches up with them. And they don't need to run away from a lion/tiger or hunt for food to stay alive...

The people who lose weight are desperate to do so. It's this desperation that creates the solution. Not some magic bullet diet system!

meeeeh

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Ah, the old 'waiting for a cure' excuse... :rolleyes:

People don't lose weight, because it's not important enough to them. If someone gave you 6 months to lose weight, or they'd put a bullet through your skull... do you think you'd find a way?

Damn sure you would.

It's just too easy to stay fat in this world. The consequences are not immediate or stark enough for most people.

Most fat people can live for many years before their lifestyle catches up with them. And they don't need to run away from a lion/tiger or hunt for food to stay alive...

The people who lose weight are desperate to do so. It's this desperation that creates the solution. Not some magic bullet diet system!

Ah I got it. Fat people are to dumb to understand their habits are unhealthy so they don't want to do anything about it. Riiight.

siblers

Losing weight requires discipline and a small bit of education on tracking calories, it really isn't that hard to do. If you want to lose weight badly enough, you'll lose it.

I've dated overweight girls but none of them were massively overweight and it didn't bother me too much, there was one girl alright who had she had been bothered to lose the weight, would have looked amazing but she didn't seem to care. If I was dating a girl who ended up packing on the pounds then that would be a major problem for me.

ThinkProgress

meeeeh wrote: »

Ah I got it. Fat people are to dumb to understand their habits are unhealthy so they don't want to do anything about it. Riiight.

Actually, I don't think you get it at all...

My point is that weight loss is about desire and will power, not clever gimmicks or miracle cures!

You don't need to be TOO clever in order TO have determination TO succeed.

lukesmom

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Actually, I don't think you get it at all...

My point is that weight loss is about desire and will power, not clever gimmicks or miracle cures!

You don't need to be TOO clever in order TO have determination TO succeed.

This is 100% correct.
Losing weight is easier than people think. It's 70% diet, 30% exercise. People want fast results and give up because they aren't motivated enough or are just too damn lazy.

arayess

lukesmom wrote: »

This is 100% correct.
Losing weight is easier than people think. It's 70% diet, 30% exercise. People want fast results and give up because they aren't motivated enough or are just too damn lazy.

it's simple but not easy.

There are many complications nobody talks about
for example breaking the habit , quite like quitting smoking . If you are used to eat crap all day you will feel out of sorts and bored when you stop . There are only so many activities that you can do before you are eventually left alone with the tv or your laptop where you would normally be in the habit of eating crap .
Maybe as a teen you can hang out with your pals on the street and stuff but when you are older , it doesn't really work like that.
An over weight person isn't going to suddenly have the energy or ability to train like a demon 6 days a week , it just doesn't happen like that.

It's a huge mental obstacle to over come . if it was just eating salad 6 days a week with a few pints or a pizza at the end of the week people (bar a few) would do it no bother.

Not to mention changing your whole social structure too as your friends mightnt need or want to lose weight and be tempting you with the same activities you used to do.

folamh

lukesmom wrote: »

This is 100% correct.
Losing weight is easier than people think. It's 70% diet, 30% exercise. People want fast results and give up because they aren't motivated enough or are just too damn lazy.

Some people have eating disorders which cause them to eat compulsively, though.

ThinkProgress

arayess wrote: »

it's simple but not easy.

There are many complications nobody talks about
for example breaking the habit , quite like quitting smoking . If you are used to eat crap all day you will feel out of sorts and bored when you stop . There are only so many activities that you can do before you are eventually left alone with the tv or your laptop where you would normally be in the habit of eating crap .
Maybe as a teen you can hang out with your pals on the street and stuff but when you are older , it doesn't really work like that.
An over weight person isn't going to suddenly have the energy or ability to train like a demon 6 days a week , it just doesn't happen like that.

It's a huge mental obstacle to over come . if it was just eating salad 6 days a week with a few pints or a pizza at the end of the week people (bar a few) would do it no bother.

Why should it be easy?

This is life. It's supposed to be a challenge...

Everything you've said there, suggests weight loss is not high on the priority list. It's something you'd like to have, but you're not desperate for it.

If boredom is one of your main problems, you simply don't get it. When you wake up every morning and all you give a **** about is losing weight and feeling/looking good - then you're starting to get it.

Then you'll see results.

annascott

A bit overweight would not bother me at all. However I would not want to be with someone who is massively obese reflecting little or no respect for themselves.

siblers

arayess wrote: »

it's simple but not easy.

There are many complications nobody talks about
for example breaking the habit , quite like quitting smoking . If you are used to eat crap all day you will feel out of sorts and bored when you stop . There are only so many activities that you can do before you are eventually left alone with the tv or your laptop where you would normally be in the habit of eating crap .
Maybe as a teen you can hang out with your pals on the street and stuff but when you are older , it doesn't really work like that.
An over weight person isn't going to suddenly have the energy or ability to train like a demon 6 days a week , it just doesn't happen like that.

It's a huge mental obstacle to over come . if it was just eating salad 6 days a week with a few pints or a pizza at the end of the week people (bar a few) would do it no bother.

Not to mention changing your whole social structure too as your friends mightnt need or want to lose weight and be tempting you with the same activities you used to do.

You don't have to starve yourself on salads though, you can still enjoy treats etc just have less of it. Yeah it's better to cut that stuff out all together but what's the fun in that? I think the whole social structure is an excuse..unless your social structure involves just eating take aways etc.

arayess

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Why should it be easy?

This is life. It's supposed to be a challenge...

Everything you've said there, suggests weight loss is not high on the priority list. It's something you'd like to have, but you're not desperate for it.

If boredom is one of your main problems, you simply don't get it. When you wake up every morning and all you give a **** about is losing weight and feeling/looking good - then you're starting to get it.

Then you'll see results.

Thanks for your concern but you are mistaken , i don't have problems in the fat department.
I've a reasonable body fat - I'd say 15% - I've a training log in fitness forum if you fancy a look.
I've no real reason to lose more fat in a significant level unless i was fighting again - I was a fairly crap amateur thai boxer but I'm 38 so I not sure that'll happen.

I'm quite fit but I'm not blind to the struggles of others.
As a human being I think it's important to have empathy with others

siblers wrote: »

You don't have to starve yourself on salads though, you can still enjoy treats etc just have less of it. Yeah it's better to cut that stuff out all together but what's the fun in that? I think the whole social structure is an excuse..unless your social structure involves just eating take aways etc.

as above. I already know what to do . and i do it.
I also recognise the struggles of others.

siblers

arayess wrote: »

Thanks for your concern but you are mistaken , i don't have problems in the fat department.
I've a reasonable body fat - I'd say 15% - I've a training log in fitness forum if you fancy a look.
I've no real reason to lose more fat in a significant level unless i was fighting again - I was a fairly crap amateur thai boxer but I'm 38 so I not sure that'll happen.

I'm quite fit but I'm not blind to the struggles of others.
As a human being I think it's important to have empathy with others



as above. I already know what to do . and i do it.
I also recognise the struggles of others.

Didn't mean you, meant in general. I lost 4 stone in weight so I know what the whole cycle is like.

Medusa22

lukesmom wrote: »

This is 100% correct.
Losing weight is easier than people think. It's 70% diet, 30% exercise. People want fast results and give up because they aren't motivated enough or are just too damn lazy.

I've lost over five stone in the last few years and it is not difficult to lose weight, physically that is. Mentally though is a whole different story. There are so-called friends who pretend to be pleased for you but suddenly want to go to McDonalds for a McFlurry now that you're on a diet, even though they've never suggested it before, to family members who previously commented on your excess weight telling you not to lose anymore. However, my main problem is me, I eat to comfort myself, when I am sad or happy or bored I eat. It is my coping mechanism when everything gets on top of me. Even though I have lost so much weight I still sometimes go on a binge when I am alone and I eat until I feel sick, the food doesn't even taste good any more but I keep eating it to punish myself at that stage for being a ''greedy little pig''.

eviltwin

Everyone has a weakness it's just that overweight people wear their weakness. I have a friend who takes his emotional comfort from food. He's going through a particularly difficult time at the moment so whatever gets him through the day. Hopefully when things improve he can work on getting his diet sorted. For someone else that comfort could be drugs, alcohol, casual sex.....I have been overweight so I have personal experience of the horrible comments people feel they have a right to make. Physical appearance shouldn't be used as a stick to beat someone with. At least a big person can diet, judgemental people will always be judgemental.

arayess

siblers wrote: »

Didn't mean you, meant in general. I lost 4 stone in weight so I know what the whole cycle is like.

no probs:) - I think I lumped you in a reply to the other poster
and well done! That is an achievement.

ThinkProgress

arayess wrote: »

Thanks for your concern but you are mistaken , i don't have problems in the fat department.
I've a reasonable body fat - I'd say 15% - I've a training log in fitness forum if you fancy a look.
I've no real reason to lose more fat in a significant level unless i was fighting again - I was a fairly crap amateur thai boxer but I'm 38 so I not sure that'll happen.

I'm quite fit but I'm not blind to the struggles of others.
As a human being I think it's important to have empathy with others

I wasn't referring directly to you. I was addressing the points you made.

I don't think you were displaying empathy... you were just making the same excuses that everybody trots out regarding weight loss.

You can think up a hundred and one excuses why it's difficult/impossible for some people to lose weight. But there are plenty of people facing those things and overcoming them.

Instead of reading diet books, I think some people need to read books about will power and determination. That would be a far better investment than diet books or gym memberships!

arayess

ThinkProgress wrote: »

I wasn't referring directly to you. I was addressing the points you made.

I don't think you were displaying empathy... you were just making the same excuses that everybody trots out regarding weight loss.

You can think up a hundred and one excuses why it's difficult/impossible for some people to lose weight. But there are plenty of people facing those things and overcoming them.

Instead of reading diet books, I think some people need to read books about will power and determination. That would be a far better investment than diet books or gym memberships!

ok . i thought it was specifically directed at me - but we won't argue on that.

they are the same excuses because people find it hard for those reasons.

if it was easy people would do it no bother.
people struggle for a variety of issues and i'm not blind to them

ThinkProgress

arayess wrote: »

ok . i thought it was specifically directed at me - but we won't argue on that.

they are the same excuses because people find it hard for those reasons.

if it was easy people would do it no bother.
people struggle for a variety of issues and i'm not blind to them

Like I said before, why should it be easy though?

Empathy really doesn't help most people. Especially people who have deeply ingrained lifestyle habits... they need a boot up their a$$! (either from themselves or from those around them)

I'm not blind to the issues either. But every single one of them can be overcome if you want it badly enough.

Some people want the solution handed to them on a plate - in between that second helping at dinner time!

eviltwin

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Like I said before, why should it be easy though?

Empathy really doesn't help most people. Especially people who have deeply ingrained lifestyle habits... they need a boot up their a$$! (either from themselves or from those around them)

I'm not blind to the issues either. But every single one of them can be overcome if you want it badly enough.

Some people want the solution handed to them on a plate - in between that second helping at dinner time!

I'm not sure what you mean by it being easy....do you think weight loss should be hard?

Tarzana2

eviltwin wrote: »

Everyone has a weakness it's just that overweight people wear their weakness.

This is it. So when people start to align weightiness with morality, that's when I :rolleyes:. Everyone, like you said, has a weakness, but many are able to tuck theirs away out of sight whilst they start judging overweight people on aspects of their character. They're lazy, they lack self-discipline, they're weak-willed, they're disgusting and so forth.

ThinkProgress

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean by it being easy....do you think weight loss should be hard?

Yes. It should be hard work. Why not?

If it's worth having, it should require hard work, discipline mental strength etc!

But many people makes excuses, focus on the wrong things or completely over complicate the process!

unreg999

Notavirus.exe wrote:

I know these two people who have children. The man is average sized but the woman is HUGE. Maybe slightly morbidly obese.

Notavirus.exe wrote:

Sometimes I wonder how they, you know, do it.

Why would that even concern you??!

unreg999

ThinkProgress wrote:

That's because many 'fatties' don't like to entertain the idea that their excess weight might prevent them from finding true happiness.

What??? Can you really and truly be THAT ignorant that you believe that true happiness is dependent on size & weight??!
Really.... I have NO words...

Whitewinged

Medusa22 wrote: »

However, my main problem is me, I eat to comfort myself, when I am sad or happy or bored I eat. ''.

Sad, happy or bored. You can pretty much categorise most states of being into one of these three! Haha I'm only messing. I know what you meant

unreg999

ThinkProgress wrote:

Beauty is health. No matter who the person is, if they're healthier they'll be happier... and happier people are more beautiful.

Wow... This keeps getting better... So Now only beautiful people can be happy?? And by your reasoning I'm presuming only thin (as only thin is beautiful!)
Well I have news for you... I know many many MANY thin people who are MISERABLE and HEAPS of fat people who are very happy (as in I work in mental health so yes I can vouch that this is true!!)

ThinkProgress

unreg999 wrote: »

What??? Can you really and truly be THAT ignorant that you believe that true happiness is dependent on size & weight??!
Really.... I have NO words...

Yes, it's heavily dependent on your health and fitness. Which obviously includes being a healthy weight... What exactly is your issue with this?

You don't think a person's health is an important factor in their happiness? Please explain?

unreg999 wrote: »

Wow... This keeps getting better... So Now only beautiful people can be happy?? And by your reasoning I'm presuming only thin (as only thin is beautiful!)
Well I have news for you... I know many many MANY thin people who are MISERABLE and HEAPS of fat people who are very happy (as in I work in mental health so yes I can vouch that this is true!!)

There are far more unhappy fat people, than happy ones.

I'm not saying it's impossible to attain some happiness when you're unhealthy. I'm saying being healthy is more likely improve your happiness.

I've never met someone with bad health problems who was genuinely happy. They might have some happy moments... but their life is not as happy overall as it could be if they were healthy and slim.

So yes. Health is beauty and beauty has a HUGE impact on one's happiness.

Don't twist my points into something they're not.

metaoblivia

It's not likely. I just don't find overweight guys attractive. If anything, I lean towards the slimmer guys (I think swimmers have great bodies). But I would never give anyone abuse for being overweight. The mechanics of losing weight may be easy on paper, but the reality can be much different. I agree with Tarzana about aligning weight and morality. You don't know the complexity of the struggles people face by just looking at them.

tmh106

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Health is beauty and beauty has a HUGE impact on one's happiness"

Don't twist my points into something they're not.

They don't need much twisting; they're pretty twisted already.

ThinkProgress

tmh106 wrote: »

They don't need much twisting; they're pretty twisted already.

In what way are they twisted?

You don't think health is important to one's happiness?

Do you think being fat and unhealthy aids someone in being a happier person?

questionmark?

It's personal tastes. Would never give someone a hard time for having a few extra stone on them but I'm not suddenly going to find a 25 stone girl attractive just to be PC.

I also don't find really skinny girls attractive.

Some curves is what I like. Not fat, not thin. Think Holly Willoughby for the type of lady I find attractive.

One eyed Jack

ThinkProgress wrote: »

In what way are they twisted?

You've presented nothing but your own ideological opinion as evidence for your claims, which is evidence itself that quite frankly you happen to be viewing a multitude of issues from a very limited perspective.

You don't think health is important to one's happiness?

A person's mental health has to come before they ever make any attempts to address their physical health, and that's why it's important for a person to be happy in themselves before they attempt any weight loss measures in an attempt to improve their physical health.

Do you think being fat and unhealthy aids someone in being a happier person?

It seems illogical and irrational, perhaps even irresponsible to you, but there are many people who are happier when they are engaging in what you or I might consider unhealthy behaviours.

Your simplistic derisory comments don't actually do anything to help or motivate people into achieving what you might want them to achieve. Such comments simply fuel their issues with their mental health, and the only comfort they feel they have, as has been pointed out to you again and again, by numerous posters now, is to engage in the unhealthy behaviour which gives them comfort. You're driving a vicious circle mentality which fuels the ongoing behaviour, rather than does anything to address it.

zeffabelli

Dancers, men and women have the best bodies for me that is.

unreg999

ThinkProgress wrote:

You don't think a person's health is an important factor in their happiness? Please explain?

No you state specifically that most 'fatties'... You are NOT talking about health here you are specifically speaking about weight...
Unless You have backtracked...

Many overweight or fat people are perfectly and medically healthy... Just As many thin people are unhealthy..

This really really bugs me as soon as people start talking about weight there's always the 'but it's so unhealthy' brigade... Unless you are someone's GP and unless that person specifically asks you to comment on their health by running medical tests then YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED to comment.... FULL STOP!!

Also I find your comments about losing weight needing to be difficult per sé and fat people 'just needing a good kick in the ass' to be insulting, patronising & dangerous in the extreme... Bordering on bullying! Are you one of those people who think that way about mental health issues also?

To answer your question, NO I personally do not believe that a person's happiness lies in their size or weight and perhaps not even in their physical health.. Working in the mental health field I have had the privilege & honour of being with people during the final days, months & hours of their life... Many being extremely unwell and yet, unbelievably, some have stated that they have never been happier... It put so much into perspective for them.

However, I will say that whatever is making you unhappy may also be a core reason for being overweight... Abuse, emotional eating, self-medication, puniflshment, poor self esteem, addictions etc this is an important distinction to make and one of the reasons I believe so many people find it so difficult to lose weight & keep it off... Because they haven't dealt with the core reasons under the excess weight in the first place!

Yes I have known many fat people who have been unhealthy but I have also know many thin people who have been also! Fat people who've died young but also active, thin & 'healthy' people who have...

Your attitude is so brainwashed by today's society which endeavours to blame & shame anyone who is slightly different from the norms as they are set down.

unreg999

ThinkProgress wrote:

There are far more unhappy fat people, than happy ones.

Can you point me in the direction to some valid research on this or is it another vast generalisation on your behalf??

Penny Tration

ThinkProgress wrote: »

In what way are they twisted?

You don't think health is important to one's happiness?

Do you think being fat and unhealthy aids someone in being a happier person?

You don't seem to understand people.

It certainly is possible to be very happy even at an unhealthy weight.

I was one of those typical fat people who act like the life and soul, but are actually utterly miserable. those people definitely exist, and I'd guess the majority of obese people fall into that category.

However, what made me lose weight was working on my self esteem. I never managed to lose weight and maintain the losses until I learned to accept and love myself exactly as I was.

After a few years of therapy, I finally came to accept myself exactly as I am. I like how I look (well, most days. We all have bad days!). I know I'm attractive to some members of the opposite sex. I know I have a lot to offer as a friend, colleague or romantic partner. In short, I'm happy with who and what I am.

And because I'm happy as I am, I can lose weight. I can lose it because I don't hate myself and therefore don't have the utter terror of failing, which caused me to give up and see myself as a hopeless case if I had one bad day.

Now if I have a bad day, I know I'll still like myself in the morning, so I get back on track. I know whatever happens, I'll still love myself, so I don't have to fear failure. it's a massive pressure off of me, so I don't stress and comfort eat.


So yup, totally possible to be truly happy even as an overweight person.

ThinkProgress

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You've presented nothing but your own ideological opinion as evidence for your claims, which is evidence itself that quite frankly you happen to be viewing a multitude of issues from a very limited perspective.

So being fat and unhealthy has a greater likelihood of contributing to unhappiness... you want me to qualify this opinion with scientific data? (I won't be doing that btw - but it's really amusing that you think I should) lol

One eyed Jack wrote: »

A person's mental health has to come before they ever make any attempts to address their physical health, and that's why it's important for a person to be happy in themselves before they attempt any weight loss measures in an attempt to improve their physical health.

Physical health and mental health are intrinsically linked on every single level. Our brain is deeply affected by our physical well being... trying to disconnect the two is foolishness. And shows a lot of naivety on your part.

Healthier people have healthier thoughts... more positive thoughts. Physical exercise is one of the best remedies for mental problems.

Many people who are seriously overweight and unhealthy, have mental issues as a consequence. Better physical health leads to better mental health.

Get fitter, lose some weight and your mental outlook improves dramatically.

One eyed Jack wrote: »

It seems illogical and irrational, perhaps even irresponsible to you, but there are many people who are happier when they are engaging in what you or I might consider unhealthy behaviours.

You need to be a bit more specific here. Nobody is happier being unhealthy or dealing with the consequences of their bad choices... that's why they're called BAD CHOICES!

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Your simplistic derisory comments don't actually do anything to help or motivate people into achieving what you might want them to achieve. Such comments simply fuel their issues with their mental health, and the only comfort they feel they have, as has been pointed out to you again and again, by numerous posters now, is to engage in the unhealthy behaviour which gives them comfort. You're driving a vicious circle mentality which fuels the ongoing behaviour, rather than does anything to address it.

That's not true. All the people showing them empathy and making excuse after excuse... they are the one's doing the real harm.

They are enablers. Like people who enable drug addicts.

These people need shock therapy... (I don't mean the electronic kind - lol)... they need to be shocked out of their unhealthy routines. Even right down to the terms and phrases they use.

They need to be toughened up mentally and physically. Because they are in a system that rewards failure. Our society makes it too easy to fail... too easy to give up.

The immediate consequences of remaining overweight are not serious enough. Many people live relatively long lives while overweight and unhealthy...

Many people even try to normalize obesity. They try to make it socially acceptable. This is ridiculous and counter-productive!

CIP4

I can't say I've ever thought of it as such. I mean I'd see a girl and find her good looking or not often for a combination of different reasons weight generally wouldn't come into it unless it was to an extreme. So I would certainly date someone that is overweight but when you start getting well into the obese category then it would become an issue for me. I'm not sure if I would date a girl that smokes or is a heavy drinker. Again I suppose hard to know until your in the situation. But as someone said everyone has issues / flaws of some kind being overweight is just a more visible obvious one.

But just going through this thread some people find it very unattractive which is fair enough I suppose too.

osarusan

ThinkProgress wrote: »

The immediate consequences of remaining overweight are not serious enough. Many people live relatively long lives while overweight and unhealthy...

Not serious enough?

Would you rather the consequences were more serious?

unreg999

ThinkProgress wrote:

These people need shock therapy... (I don't mean the electronic kind - lol)... they need to be shocked out of their unhealthy routines. Even right down to the terms and phrases they use.

I don't even know where to start with all the inaccuracies of this post.. But this point really jumps out at me- what exactly makes you think that you have the right to do so...?? Again I have to say that I find your way of thinking very dangerous and possibly bordering on fundamentalism. ..
The fact is you come across as extremely unempathetic (sp?) to other other's pain, struggles & internal wars even going so far as to state that people should have to suffer and need a good kick in the ass etc as well as staring various 'facts' etc that have very little basis in truth or any valid research.
I personally don't feel the need to comment on anyone else's physical or mental state and only then if specifically asked and in a Professional capacity

Whitewinged

ThinkProgress wrote: »

So being fat and unhealthy has a grMonroelikelihood of contributing to unhappiness... you want me to qualify this opinion with scientific data? (I won't be doing that btw - but it's really amusing that you think I should) lol

Physical health and mental health are intrinsically linked on every single level. Our brain is deeply affected by our physical well being... trying to disconnect the two is foolishness. And shows a lot of naivety on your part.

Healthier people have healthier thoughts... more positive thoughts. Physical exercise is one of the best remedies for mental problems.

Many people who are seriously overweight and unhealthy, have mental issues as a consequence. Better physical health leads to better mental health.

Get fitter, lose some weight and your mental outlook improves dramatically.



You need to be a bit more specific here. Nobody is happier being unhealthy or dealing with the consequences of their bad choices... that's why they're called BAD CHOICES!



That's not true. All the people showing them empathy and making excuse after excuse... they are the one's doing the real harm.

They are enablers. Like people who enable drug addicts.

These people need shock therapy... (I don't mean the electronic kind - lol)... they need to be shocked out of their unhealthy routines. Even right down to the terms and phrases they use.

They need to be toughened up mentally and physically. Because they are in a system that rewards failure. Our society makes it too easy to fail... too easy to give up.

The immediate consequences of remaining overweight are not serious enough. Many people live relatively long lives while overweight and unhealthy...

Many people even try to normalize obesity. They try to make it socially acceptable. This is ridiculous and counter-productive!

Isn't your whole argument based on healthy equals happy equals beautiful though?

Some of the most unhappy people are still considered attractive or beautiful. Marilyn Monroe who is considered one of the most beautiful women of all time "it's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone else"

ThinkProgress

unreg999 wrote: »

No you state specifically that most 'fatties'... You are NOT talking about health here you are specifically speaking about weight...
Unless You have backtracked...

Many overweight or fat people are perfectly and medically healthy... Just As many thin people are unhealthy..

This really really bugs me as soon as people start talking about weight there's always the 'but it's so unhealthy' brigade... Unless you are someone's GP and unless that person specifically asks you to comment on their health by running medical tests then YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED to comment.... FULL STOP!!

Also I find your comments about losing weight needing to be difficult per sé and fat people 'just needing a good kick in the ass' to be insulting, patronising & dangerous in the extreme... Bordering on bullying! Are you one of those people who think that way about mental health issues also?

To answer your question, NO I personally do not believe that a person's happiness lies in their size or weight and perhaps not even in their physical health.. Working in the mental health field I have had the privilege & honour of being with people during the final days, months & hours of their life... Many being extremely unwell and yet, unbelievably, some have stated that they have never been happier... It put so much into perspective for them.

However, I will say that whatever is making you unhappy may also be a core reason for being overweight... Abuse, emotional eating, self-medication, puniflshment, poor self esteem, addictions etc this is an important distinction to make and one of the reasons I believe so many people find it so difficult to lose weight & keep it off... Because they haven't dealt with the core reasons under the excess weight in the first place!

Yes I have known many fat people who have been unhealthy but I have also know many thin people who have been also! Fat people who've died young but also active, thin & 'healthy' people who have...

Your attitude is so brainwashed by today's society which endeavours to blame & shame anyone who is slightly different from the norms as they are set down.

Firstly, I was repeating the word 'fatties' because the poster I was replying to, chose to use that phrase.

But yes, since you wish to be pedantic... 'fatties' are generally less healthy than 'non-fatties'. So my point hasn't changed here.

Just because serious health complications haven't emerged yet, doesn't mean being overweight is healthy. Cop on!

You can feel insulted and patronized all you want. It's called "tough love"... and it's quite a successful method for changing people's lives where health and obesity is concerned.

You prefer a different approach. Good for you. This is my approach!

I believe that the underlying reason for many fat people's unhappiness is their weight. Not other mental factors.

Of course there are exceptions to this. But I'm talking about the average overweight person. The average fat person is unhappy because they're overweight... and they're overweight because they're lazy, unmotivated, lack discipline and make a lot of bad choices!

That's my opinion.

One eyed Jack

ThinkProgress wrote: »

These people need shock therapy... (I don't mean the electronic kind - lol)... they need to be shocked out of their unhealthy routines. Even right down to the terms and phrases they use.

They need to be toughened up mentally and physically. Because they are in a system that rewards failure. Our society makes it too easy to fail... too easy to give up.

The immediate consequences of remaining overweight are not serious enough. Many people live relatively long lives while overweight and unhealthy...

You still don't get it, and I'm not even sure you want to try, which is exactly the same mentality that you would have to try and have a person who is overweight overcome in order to promote the idea of a healthy lifestyle.

I don't think shock treatment or getting tough with you is going to help though, but I have no interest in rewarding your failure to grasp the basics of listening to what anyone else is saying by rewarding you with any further attention which you seem to so desperately crave.

You're really not all that different from these "short term solution" sellers. Short term solutions and shock treatments just don't work in the long term. It's like having liposuction to remove fat and a gastric band fitted - body looks good on the outside, but still the mentality remains the same, and it's not long before the person balloons back up to their original weight, or even worse - bigger!

ThinkProgress

unreg999 wrote: »

Can you point me in the direction to some valid research on this or is it another vast generalisation on your behalf??

Nope. Do your own research.

Or you could stop acting like a pedantic adolescent!