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Dealing with Smart Comments

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    #32
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    grrrrr79 wrote: »
    Has he got kids? Tell him to be careful...karma can be a bitch.We had one friend like that.He was like that until they started trying for number 2 and it took over a year along with some very expensive hormome treatments to help it along.
    There's not a word out of him now.

    Sounds like he learned a lesson a very hard way then. I'm sure that I jokingly nudged couples and joked about then having another, or getting a move on, and I regret that now. I think it's a bit harsh to say its karma though - I just think that some people are luckily blissfully unaware of how horrible infertility and pregnancy loss is and are just tactless. If they know about your infertility issues and still are thoughtless and insensitive, that is another story though.


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    #33
    DvB
    Registered Users Posts: 10,300 ✭✭✭✭DvB


    I had something slightly similar said to me after our twins were born, (we had a boy & a girl) one comment was 'At least one of them worked out alright' .....

    WTF?? Who comes out with this kind of juvenile garbage? I was gobsmacked, but managed to come back with a 'grow the f**k up will you' as I walked away... no response was forthcoming so I took that as an embarrassed acceptance of talking sh*te.
    "I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year" - Charles Dickens




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    #34
    di11on
    Registered Users Posts: 1,262 ✭✭✭di11on


    These eejits are nothing... my mother said to me that she's been praying that we have a boy.

    Honestly... if she wasn't my mother... and even then!!!


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    #35
    nikpmup
    Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    People honestly feel as if they have the right to say whatever the fluck comes into their tiny little minds. When I got married, my husband and I discovered that we couldn't have kids. For years I was asked over and over what was or wasn't cooking. I eventually let rip with both barrels on a particularly rude colleague. The fact that I was mid-IVF cycle at the time was probably the thing that tipped me over the edge (and probably why I kept my job - my boss knew I was having treatment)

    A few years after my husband died I met my partner. Given our ages and what I'd been through we decided to try for kids really soon. When I became pregnant with my son, I got at least six or seven comments to the effect of "your husband's bits must have been broken". I usually responded (loudly) with " Yes, my LATE husband and I had male-factor infertility. Feel better, miss Marple/Sherlock?!" Worked a treat, and nobody's gonna challenge a pregnant bird ;)


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    #36
    Ms2011
    Registered Users Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭Ms2011


    People actually commented that your late husbands 'bits' mustn't have been working???!!! That is shocking!:eek::eek:


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    #37
    Clareman
    Moderators, Sports Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 23,980 Mod ✭✭✭✭Clareman


    Don't underestimate other people's stupidity, they think they are being "funny" but they are being extremely insensitive, the advice to just ignore it is the best, saying that I don't think I'd be able to hold my tongue if someone was to say something about my wife/kids.


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    #38
    nikpmup
    Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    Ms2011 wrote: »
    People actually commented that your late husbands 'bits' mustn't have been working???!!! That is shocking!:eek::eek:

    Not quite as blatant as that, but not far off. And yep, people seemed to think that a perfectly acceptable conversation piece was talking about a dead man's fertility to his widow.


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    #39
    birchtree
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭birchtree


    One thing I've learned in this country is that if you can't take bollo*king, you will get more of it! So the only way through it is to give some back!
    Here's an oldie from some other part of the world:
    Grandpa is talking to his son who has just became a father:
    -Well, is it a boy?
    -No.
    -What is it then???
    :)


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    #40
    Clareman
    Moderators, Sports Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 23,980 Mod ✭✭✭✭Clareman


    birchtree wrote: »
    One thing I've learned in this country is that if you can't take bollo*king, you will get more of it! So the only way through it is to give some back!

    I would say giving back might only make it worse as it'll either escalate or someone else will join in, if you show to be upset by it it'll be just as bad, the best thing is either to ignore it or give an auld "will you f**k off you g0bsh1te"


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    #41
    Chocolate fiend
    Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭Chocolate fiend


    When we had a daughter after 3 boys pretty much everyone commented that I must be delighted to have finally "got my girl" and yes I was but, it was none of their business and I would have been just as happy with a beautiful 4th son


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    #42
    homerjay2005
    Registered Users Posts: 29,346 ✭✭✭✭homerjay2005


    Clareman wrote: »
    Hi all,

    First time poster so please go easy on me. Recently I've been lucky enough to welcome our second daughter to the family, to be completely honest I'm over the moon that she's a girl and when she was born I initially thought she was a boy and was a bit disappointed. I've come across a couple of eejits over the last couple of days with their smart comments about having girls, things like "at least my mikey works right" (he has a boy) and "you'll have to go again for the boy", normally I'll give as good as I get but I don't know how to respond to them, I just ignored them but I was wondering if anything has any advice for appropriate responses?

    these arent worth having in your circle of friends. if they are that shallow and resentful, i suggest you starting pushing them out of your life. the older you get, the less time and tolerance you should have for these clowns in your life.

    does your wife/partner know they are saying this? wonder what the mothers of their own children would say.


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