Boyfriend as tenant

SarahMollie

CelticRambler wrote: »

When that phrase "protecting (my) interests" appears in conversations about a couple's relationship, there's something not right.

Meaning no offence to you, OP, there's something that looks "a bit off" to me about this situation. You're quite happy (desperate, even) to commit to a 25-year relationship with your bank, but not sure about your commitment to this guy ... so why are you even living with him?

OK, so maybe it's part of the finding-out process, but in that case, you're about to indulge one of your long-held dreams and he's not part of it (except as a paying guest). You say that he'll have a better lifestyle (more space, less expense) but after not-even two years together, how do you know whether that really matters to him, that he's not saying what he needs to to keep your dream alive, or that he knows what he wants himself?

As for the legalities of written and unwritten agreements: not worth the paper they're written on. When I met MrsCR-to-be, she was about to become an impoverished mature student and needed somewhere cheap to rent. I was a well-paid new graduate in a job-with-accommodation who wanted a place of my own.

So MrsCR house-hunted, found a place that suited her and I bought it, 100% in my name. A year later, we married, went on to have a family and then sold up to move to France. On paper, she would have been entitled to 50% of the value of the house, but whaddyaknow, the rules in France aren't exactly the same, so for the price of a ferry ticket and a declaration that we were permanent residents, the house (or value thereof) became mine, all mine! :pac:

That was after ten years living together, but MrsCR seemed happy enough because I/we were re-investing the proceeds in the joint purchase of our new house. Just like Wabbit Ears, though, it's an inequality that keeps being dragged into the light two decades later. You've hardly had time to have a proper row yet! :cool:

Could really do without people doubting my relationship, thanks.

SarahMollie

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

Funny thing is, if this situation were reversed, this entire thread would be you posting about how much of a jerk your BF is in Personal issues.

TBH, i resent this. I'm not asking for anything that I wouldnt be ok with myself. I don't think a 2 year relationship is reason enough to tangle our finances together unnecessarily. I think that doing this too soon can be equally stressful/detrimental to a relationship.

This is never intended to be a long term arrangement (people keep mentioning 25 years) - the likelihood is that we'll ultimately get a place of our own in a few years, and that this place will be rented/sold whatever, depending on the market at the time. It just makes financial sense to buy at the moment if your finances permitted, because right now, we're both paying someone else s mortgage.

SarahMollie

Firstly, i wouldnt entertain doing something so underhand.

We're a normal couple, we go on holidays and to friends parties, pictures are taken.....I honestly don't know how anyone could refute the fact that we're in a relationship.

Paulw

Mod Note: I think the situation is fairly clear, and plenty of opinion has been given.

Thread closed, unless someone can come up with a very good reason otherwise.