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Whats the difference between PND and just being mentally worn out?

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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 273 ✭✭Nicman


    Lucuma wrote: »
    My baby was a model baby and it didn't stop PND from visiting my door. I had the birth I wanted (wasn't induced, no epidural, no interventions) breastfeeding went great from day 1, she slept normally, no colic. Teeth haven't really bothered her (and she has millions of them) so in my case it was simply a hormonal and chemical crash that occured in my brain. Thankfully medication and time and a brillant partner fixed it.

    I have great faith in the drugs, they do work! (but they can take time and tweaking)

    Did the PHN come Nicman? What comes out of that process? I didn't go through that as my GP sent me straight into the psych dept of the hospital.

    So glad you're well now lucuma . Phn didn't come I'm not sure what happens now as I've had no contact from anyone but I'm back to gptoday. I felt I needed to come back to see what's happening because since I've opened up I feel I'm not coping at all. Felt relieved at first but now I just want to disappear off the planet until the drugs kick in. Feel like I'm having a breakdown of sorts. I'm going to tell her I can't wait for counselling etc I'm worse than I thought ...will let you know what happens


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,356 ✭✭✭Lucuma


    Nicman wrote: »
    So glad you're well now lucuma . Phn didn't come I'm not sure what happens now as I've had no contact from anyone but I'm back to gptoday. I felt I needed to come back to see what's happening because since I've opened up I feel I'm not coping at all. Felt relieved at first but now I just want to disappear off the planet until the drugs kick in. Feel like I'm having a breakdown of sorts. I'm going to tell her I can't wait for counselling etc I'm worse than I thought ...will let you know what happens

    I was the same and I did exactly the same ! I went back to the GP a few days later adn told her I felt like I needed to go to hospital and couldn't wait for the anti-ds to kick in so they had to give me a drug which takes effect immediately to tide me over for the couple of weeks til the anti-ds kicked in. My GP wouldn't prescribe that drug though, she referred me into the (public) psych dept and they assessed me and they prescribed that drug for me which gave immediate relief. Following on from that the GP was happy to prescribe that drug as a follow-up prescription but she wouldn't do it first day off her own bat.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Nicman wrote: »
    I wish that was all I felt diamond doll. I am so indifferent right now I don't care about other mothers or babies. I dont care about anything. The guilt I feel is because I imagined ways to kill my own baby. Because I rocked his cot so hard he cried and cried and cried but that was because I didn't feel safe to take him out of it. Because I feel like my husband and child would be better in this world without me. Because I looked at my antidepressants the other day and for a second, thought "what if I just took them all". Because one day I sat my child in my bed and turned my back to him and lay there without feeding him til my husband came home. The way I am feeling right now is that I want to disappear .... I don't want to be dead but I don't want to be alive.
    I'm not saying these things for sympathy or shock but if there's another mother reading this who feels any of this stuff it's time to go get help before you do somwthin you'll regret

    I'm still feeling like this, three years later. I never went for help, I have the major fear of the hse anyway.. I thought it would get better on its own but it never did.
    That bit you said about laying the baby in the middle of the bed, I've done that. I still think about ways to "get out of it" and I feel like a monster for it. Three ye are like. I've not been able to force myself to have sex since before that child was born, I don't know if that's because Im afraid of landing myself back at square one again, I definitely never want to have another child, or if it's because I hate my partner for ruining my life, or if it's cos it still reminds me of the traumatic birth. I feel absolutely ****ing dead inside and seriously, so much time had passed now I don't even know if it's not just become the new me. Its become normal. <Mod Snip- forbidden topic>
    You're so much braver than some of us you know. I hope it gets better for you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 273 ✭✭Nicman


    Lucuma wrote: »
    I was the same and I did exactly the same ! I went back to the GP a few days later adn told her I felt like I needed to go to hospital and couldn't wait for the anti-ds to kick in so they had to give me a drug which takes effect immediately to tide me over for the couple of weeks til the anti-ds kicked in. My GP wouldn't prescribe that drug though, she referred me into the (public) psych dept and they assessed me and they prescribed that drug for me which gave immediate relief. Following on from that the GP was happy to prescribe that drug as a follow-up prescription but she wouldn't do it first day off her own bat.

    That's interesting. Yeah my doc said she can't give me anything else to expedite this. But she did ask some serious questions and rang my husband while i was there and told him I can't be on my own and that he needs to clear out all medication from the house until the meds kick in :-( Wasnt nice to hear but it has to be done I guess. I almost felt yesterday that I wanted someone to come and take me away from it all. I'll take it day by day and if I still don't feel good I'll go back before Monday (she wants to see me back Monday). The PHN is calling to me this week as well. I had my mother in law here for the day today. I love her to bits and she's great but I found it exhausting just to not be alone for the day you know....


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Mod:

    Hey ladies, I'm sorry to have to say this but Boards have a policy of not allowing any discussions about suicide. Any discussion, however well intentioned, could inadvertently have an adverse effect on someone vulnerable. This also applies to people wanting to help those in distress. We don't have the expertise, or the resources to give the appropriate help and could do more harm than good. I don't want to see this thread locked or deleted because of this reason - its too useful and would be a shame. Some posts might get snipped or deleted if they mention suicide.

    So, because of this, can I ask that anyone who is feeling this way, please contact the correct professionals below:

    Suicide

    turn2me.org - online mental health community providing peer and professional support to people in distress.

    Pieta House - Suicide and Self Harm Crisis Centre, providing services for those who are in suicidal distress and those who engage in self-harm. Contact information for your local Pieta House can be found here.

    National Office for Suicide Prevention
    - information and signposting resource regarding suicide in Ireland. NOSP is not a crisis support service.

    Here are some other links that might be of benefit to posters:


    Depression / Mental Health

    Samaritans Ireland - (116 123) - 24 hour support organisation for anybody going through a difficult period of their life. You can also contact your local branch of Samaritans.

    GROW - (1890 474 474) - mental health organisation which helps people who have suffered, or are suffering, from mental health problems. Grow also hold regular meetings throughout Ireland.

    GROW Young Adult - resources specifically to help the needs of young adults.

    Aware - (1890 303 302) - service for people who experience depression and concerned family and friends of those suffering from depression.

    Shine - national organisation dedicated to upholding the rights and addressing the needs of all those affected by mental ill health.

    Pieta House
    - Suicide and Self Harm Crisis Centre, providing services for those who are in suicidal distress and those who engage in self-harm. Contact information for your local Pieta House can be found here.

    Mental Health Ireland - Information Service on issues relating to mental health and mental illness.

    IACP - Irish Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy. Provides services to help you to find a therapist in your area.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Day by day Nicman.That's all you have to do.Your GP sounds quite good, great she wants to see you again on Monday.And it's Wednesday now, over the hump in the week, hopefully your husband will be around at the weekend and you'll have company.I guess one way to think of it is that this has been a long time in the making, so it won't sort itself out straight away, but you'll get there.You're being incredibly strong., and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,356 ✭✭✭Lucuma


    Nicman wrote: »
    That's interesting. Yeah my doc said she can't give me anything else to expedite this. But she did ask some serious questions and rang my husband while i was there and told him I can't be on my own and that he needs to clear out all medication from the house until the meds kick in :-( Wasnt nice to hear but it has to be done I guess. I almost felt yesterday that I wanted someone to come and take me away from it all. I'll take it day by day and if I still don't feel good I'll go back before Monday (she wants to see me back Monday). The PHN is calling to me this week as well. I had my mother in law here for the day today. I love her to bits and she's great but I found it exhausting just to not be alone for the day you know....

    Hmmmm......
    I know for a fact there are GPs that will prescribe Xanax and the likes (that's not what I was on but that would be an example of something that has immediate affect) however mine and yours obviously are not 2 of those GPs. You need to go and see a psychiatrist methinks. They will have the full plethora of medication at their disposal and find one that works for you. I was really lucky with my GP I know, she referred me straight into the public psych dept (which I've subsequently found out can be very hard for people to access coz it's so stretched/at breaking point) I was assessed and drug prescribed and all within one day. In my opinion from what you've said here you're as bad as I was and I don't see why you're not being offered that service. Can you demand it from her?
    The other option, if you can afford it is to go see a psychiatrist privately - only thing is it could cost between 100-200 euro I'm not sure how much exactly. But one appointment could be all you need for now anyway just to get the prescription. Your GP will have to refer you to the private one as well (as far as I know) but if ye have the cash it might be the way to go. I wouldn't like to have to wait the couple of weeks for the anti-ds to kick in if you're as bad as this hon xx


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 273 ✭✭Nicman


    Sorry Mod, my bad I didnt think but thanks for all those links, that too is a helpful thing to have on this thread.

    Lucuma, yeah I guess she's ringing me every day and making sure I'm not alone and stuff so if it came to it I suppose she'd send me into hospital. I don't want to wait for meds to kick in but I don't want to go to hospital so if i can just ride this out.... if i feel worse I'll tell her and let her see. I really do trust her and think she knows whats best for me and my family right now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 273 ✭✭Nicman


    So. Here I am in the Psych unit. Been here for the last 3 weeks. Keep wanting to follow up but it's so hard to say these things "out loud". I feel a sense of duty to follow up though for others who might be feeling like I have been and looking for hope or advice or just to know that they're not alone. I was admitted at crisis point by my doctor and diagnosed with severe postnatal depression and psychosis.
    The meds still aren't fully working, I don't have the psychosis anymore but the depression is so severe it's crippling. It's too much for me to go into the details here but if anyone is reading this and wondering if they should take the next step please do and please feel free to PM me.


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  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    Thinking of you Nicman. Xx


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,356 ✭✭✭Lucuma


    You are so brave. I'm full of admiration for you Nicman!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,731 ✭✭✭bp


    Nicman, I don't know what to say that doesn't come across wrong or condescending or corney when in text but I am glad you are getting help.

    You are doing what is best for you, your baby and husband. I hope you start feeling better soon, thinking of you


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