DIY moron

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

I recently forgot to refit the sump plug before happily pouring in fresh, expensive Mobil 1.

Any other DIY retard stories welcome so I can hopefully avoid making your mistakes again...:(

colm_mcm

Forgot to put the oil cap on after a top up. Only spotted it when the number plate was covered in oil test was streaming down the inside of the bonnet.

winnie the schtink

drained oil,put bung back in,started car thru drivers window didnt even see oil light,thats all im sayin:mad:

jca

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

I recently forgot to refit the sump plug before happily pouring in fresh, expensive Mobil 1.

Any other DIY retard stories welcome so I can hopefully avoid making your mistakes again...:(

Something you'll only do once... Did a service on a Mk2 Escort couldn't get the bugger started, having the rotor arm in my pocket might have had something to do with it...

darragh o meara

Picked up what I thought was a spare HT lead under the bonnet when someone else was trying to start the engine.. The lead was very much connected and the ensuing shock was something I never want to experience again..

I also cut the wiring loom in the door of the OHS car. Had the window regulator out as it was attached to the door card and forgot there was a loom there when I put it back in. First trial of the window and it stalled about 3/4 way down so I went for it again and the same thing but third time lucky and it made bits if the loom Fixing it wasn't that bad but trying to get the regulator and door card back on was a bitch of a job.

Rushed finishing something and only tightened half the wheel bolts. Stupid, but something to learn from.

mondeoman2

I replaced the Timing belt on my Focus ti- vct 1.6,Put it all back together including the 2 stretchy belts,
I start cleaning away all my tools then i found a bolt for the alternator bracket.
I Had to cut the new stretchy belts off and buy new ones €40 then replace the bolt.

corks finest

colm_mcm wrote: »

Forgot to put the oil cap on after a top up. Only spotted it when the number plate was covered in oil test was streaming down the inside of the bonnet.

Same as,years ago,engine bay destroyed, plus me,after cleaning it

iamtony

Dónal wrote: »

Rushed finishing something and only tightened half the wheel bolts. Stupid, but something to learn from.

Did the same, didn't tighten after dropping off the jack. I'm a taxi driver so I was in town and got a job to bray when I started hearing a knocking noise but I didn't want to stop I said I'd check after I dropped off. Anyway just pulling into the n/m11 and it gets really bad and I said sorry something is wrong I have to pull in and just as I did the last bolt popped out and the the brake disc dropped onto the inside of the wheel and I grinded to a halt.
Anyway long story short, destroyed the wheel and the whole hub hAd to be replaced as the threads were stripped in it.

CiniO

First time I attempt to change timing belt. Car was not worth much, so I decided I'll chance it.
All went well, managed to tighten belt with tensioner to desired tension level, and assmbled everything back together.
Unfortunately engine wouldn't start. I though that was it - I fecked up the engine.

After few hours of worrying and looking around what have I done wrong, I realised I didn't plug in crankshaft sensor, so engine had no chance to start.

hairyslug

More for the motorbike forum but I was changing the oil, forgot to put the cap back on and started the bike, stood there while the bike and I got showered by oil.

I put an oil supplement into the petrol tank, as I poured it in, I thought God isn't it very thick to be going intoy the tank.

Neg to pos when jumping from a battery, I missed my eldests 1st birthday cause of that.

My wife doesn't let me touch the cars anymore

colm_mcm

Taking off steering wheel. Forgot to unplug airbag wiring.
Broke wiring going into clockspring.

Sh1tbag OToole

Drove around for a while with the wrong thread and length bolt holding a caliper. Passed the NCT and all and it wasn't spotted but I heard a strange rattle when pushing the brake a few weeks later and put in the proper ones. Twas only the first turn of thread in the carrier that was damaged so not too bad. Could have ended badly though.

Nekarsulm

Changed a set of brake pads on a mk1 Fiesta many years ago. At night and rushing to get off to the pub.
put one pad in back ways.
Bit of a rubbing noise that night (from the front disk, behave!) but I reckoned it was the new pad bedding in....
Had to put a secondhand disk on very shortly after........

Wanderer2010

I filled my old Focus to the absolute brim with oil the first time I topped it up, there was a weird smell coming from the car and she stalled for weeks afterward!

crasy dash

Many years ago got a puncture middle of October dark and pissing rain.
Was driving a corolla, alloys on it only had bog standard spare wheel jacked it up off with the flat back on with the spare.
Einstein here put the wheel nuts on the wrong way I'll never forget that haha

iamtony

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I filled my old Focus to the absolute brim with oil the first time I topped it up, there was a weird smell coming from the car and she stalled for weeks afterward!

Ha ha ha, ladies and gents we have a winner!!
Out of interest how much oil did it take to fill an engine to the very top?

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Tommyboy40

It's always that moment when you're removing a stubborn piece of trim and you hear an expensive crack! Replaced pads on my first car, a VW Scirocco 1.6GT. It had been freshly painted and when i pressed the pedal it didn't stop and nearly hit a wall before I had pressure in the pedal

Dale Parish

Put more than 25nm on e39 sump plug... broke sump plug.. 2am Sunday.. had to find closest thread match I had with gasket sealer.. all oil changes come through the dipstick hole now...

darragh o meara

Tommyboy40 wrote: »

It's always that moment when you're removing a stubborn piece of trim and you hear an expensive crack! Replaced pads on my first car, a VW Scirocco 1.6GT. It had been freshly painted and when i pressed the pedal it didn't stop and nearly hit a wall before I had pressure in the pedal

Always give them a few pumps before you head off for a test drive after changing the pads

jca

darragh o meara wrote: »

Always give them a few pumps before you head off for a test drive after changing the pads

I'd imagine he's figured that out by now. ..

Tommyboy40

jca wrote: »

I'd imagine he's figured that out by now. ..

I completely know that now, imagine the frantic pumping I wad giving the freshly painted car!

DWG

Fitting a phone kit on a brand new car, broke my cone drill bit earlier that week, decided to drill the roof of the new car with normal 10mm drill bit. Drove the drill bit through the roof cloth of the new car. less that 20 miles on the clock.

corks finest

dwganly wrote: »

Fitting a phone kit on a brand new car, broke my cone drill bit earlier that week, decided to drill the roof of the new car with normal 10mm drill bit. Drove the drill bit through the roof cloth of the new car. less that 20 miles on the clock.

I'd be permanently sick ,if this happened to me,,,that was hard lines buddy

DWG

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

I recently forgot to refit the sump plug before happily pouring in fresh, expensive Mobil 1.

Any other DIY retard stories welcome so I can hopefully avoid making your mistakes again...:(

Now that we all look like clowns too, do you feel better ? (joke)

corks finest

dwganly wrote: »

Now that we all look like clowns too, do you feel better ? (joke)

I'm in here too,at least we're honest

Hellrazer

Couldn't get an oil filter off my old Coupe and decided to use the old screwdriver through the filter to get it off which worked successfully.

The problem--I never checked to see if the new filter was the right one--It wasn't and it ended up costing me a fortune in a taxi to get the right filter.

Hellrazer

Another one--had an old fiesta that was running crap.The head was all carboned up and my friend said to pour redex into the plug ports and let it sit for no more than 10 minutes.
My phone rang and I went out over an hour later having forgot about the redex.Refitted the plugs and started the car. Well it was like something out of that movie "The Fog"
The whole estate was literally covered in white smoke so I decided to take it up the M50 to clear it out.
Talk about a bad idea.I couldn't see 2 feet behind me in the mirror and cars behind me were pulling in to wait until it cleared.The whole m50--all 2 lanes of it were completely covered in this white fog.

Mind you the car ran like a new car.

cletus

Gave the bonnet on my old fiesta a unique pyramid shape by closing it on top of an upright can of wd40 that I left sitting on the rocker cover. Gave the engine bay a coating of self same wd40 on account of the bonnet wedging the button on the can open

dr.fuzzenstein

Once did oilchange on her MX5, poured in oil, all's well, started engine, no oil pressure.
Couldn't figure it out, until I spotted the old oil filter sitting on the bench beside the new oil filter. The floor was an utter mess...
Years before that drove my '88 Colt (that was a great car) from Ennis to Limerick and only noticed something was wrong whilst sitting in traffic, thought it didn't smell and feel right. Forgot to put the 710 cap back on, engine bay a massive mess.
My Cmax, was driving along when suddenly massive grinding noise from back wheel. Was doing the brakes and one of the rear calipers had come loose, flipped up and was rubbing against the inside of the alloy...:eek: A bolt had worked it's way loose and finally had fallen out. The groove is still there. I was able to procure a correct size bolt by scouring neighbouring mechanics (thankfully a lot on the Ballysimon Road) and Halfords actually lent me the tools! So I was able to put my brakes into usable condition, albeit with a "wrong" bolt. But they held together until I got the correct bolt from Ford. Call me nervous and overcautious, but brakes I wouldn't chance with whatever was lying around...:pac:

colm_mcm

Wiring up a stereo in my old brava. Too mean to pay for harness adaptor.
Much chocblocking later, it was in and working.
Was grand for a few days, then it stopped working, came back again, went again.
It was only when I had to put the parking lights on (on fiats you turn the ignition backwards, press a button on the ignition barrel and take the key out) that the penny dropped.
I had wired up the switched 12v to the illumination wire, so the radio only worked when the lights were on...

5W30

As mentioned in another thread, I was fixing my brake squeal a few nights ago and it got dark by the time I was finished. I hand tightened the nuts on the last wheel and lowered the car. I forgot to torque the nuts and drove around with the nuts hand tight for about 70~ km of motorway. I started hearing some noise which I thought might be a wheel bearing going, pulled over, took out the torque wrench and was surprised to see the front driver side wheel nuts were proper loose :eek:

Fixing window regulator vibrations on dad's XC90, forgot to reconnect the metal wire for the door handle. The door wouldn't open from the inside for the passenger side door :rolleyes: Got a good few complaints from the mother :pac:

Replaced CV joint on the old Yaris and I didn't have the tool for crimping the boot clamp. I tried bodging it with vice grips and 2 allen keys. A few days later I noticed the boot was off on one side and there was lots of grease all over the place. Got a clamp with a screwdriver, put it on and a few days later the CV joint began clicking Ended up getting a refurbed driveshaft with 2 joins cheaper than I paid for one CV joint :pac:

First time I wired the subwoofer to the Yaris. It worked great the first night. Woke up the next morning and needed to go somewhere. Got into the car and I was surprised the electronic dash didn't light up. I thought "fcuk, battery is flat" tried to crank it and surprisingly it started! Drove around with no speedo, tachometer, fuel gauge or anything for the whole day. One of the wires on the positive terminal connector was loose :pac:

Voodoomelon

Told this before, swear to god it wasn't me. A mate overfilled his Corolla with oil by about a litre. Instead of draining out the whole lot and starting again, he proceeded to insert and remove the oil dipstick hundreds of times, wiping it each time, to get the oil out.

He said he gave up after about half an hour. I couldn't believe it, thought he was joking; I fell around laughing!

5W30

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Told this before, swear to god it wasn't me. A mate overfilled his Corolla with oil by about a litre. Instead of draining out the whole lot and starting again, he proceeded to insert and remove the oil dipstick hundreds of times, wiping it each time, to get the oil out.

He said he gave up after about half an hour. I couldn't believe it, thought he was joking; I fell around laughing!

That's just comical :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

FobleAsNuck

not car related, but yesterday I drilled a hole in one room to route the cables, measured the distance from the outside wall and went to the other room. 15 holes later I realized one of the rooms go further over the entrance doors.

5W30

FobleAsNuck wrote: »

not car related, but yesterday I drilled a hole in one room to route the cables, measured the distance from the outside wall and went to the other room. 15 holes later I realized one of the rooms go further over the entrance doors.

Sounds like a porn film.

dr.fuzzenstein

No threads updating despite notifications. So can't do this:



Funny, that. Posting showed up the other posts that didn't come up.

cletus

The touch site has been buggy as **** for me all weekend. Posts showing up, the disappearing, then showing up again

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

dr.fuzzenstein

Full site no better, I can't see your post. Quoting not working, last page never showing, I think the hamster died.

edit:
Now I can, but can't quote it.

5W30

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Full site no better, I can't see your post. Quoting not working, last page never showing, I think the hamster died.

edit:
Now I can, but can't quote it.

If you can't see latest posts you have to keep refreshing the last page and then after about 5 times they appear

beauf

Cross-threaded sump nut on the old mans car many yrs ago. Must have been rushing. For years afterwards he'd always bring it up, every time I was doing up a bolt of anykind.

5W30

beauf wrote: »

Cross-threaded sump nut on the old mans car many yrs ago. Must have been rushing. For years afterwards he'd always bring it up, every time I was doing up a bolt of anykind.

"Fcuk sake Jimmy, keep her straight now!"

I began cross-threading a wheel nut before. Took it off, put it on the stud backwards and that sorted it :pac:

FR85

I put the wrong length spark plug into a lawnmower once......only once.

I also have held onto a coil wire.....of a RR Silver Shadow......with a Bosch Sports Coil. My dad had taken it off cause he was trying to listen to the starter winding with out the engine firing and muggins here came in late and said "no wonder it won't start". I was different for about a week after that.

Semi unrelated but I drove in underneath an arch way in a fully loaded Iveco Daily, now I mean FULLY loaded and when we emptied it I got a bit stuck on the way out. Had to reload it, drive out and then unload it again, I wasn't popular!!! That same van I thought had a timing chain, not a belt.....that was an awful clatter....

nd

I'm sure we all know that nut's normally turn anticlockwise to loosen. But it's easy enough to get confused when you are not actually facing the same direction as the nut. More than once I've spent ages strggling with a nut trying to loosen it. Cursing at it ect. Only to eventually realise that I'm turning it the wrong way :pac:

cletus

nd wrote: »

I'm sure we all know that nut's normally turn anticlockwise to loosen. But it's easy enough to get confused when you are not actually facing the same direction as the nut. More than once I've spent ages strggling with a nut trying to loosen it. Cursing at it ect. Only to eventually realise that I'm turning it the wrong way :pac:

I thought I was the only one that did that. I often find myself lying down, but facing the opposite way, and I'll open an imaginary nut with my fingers, then keep doing that as I reach around to the but to remind myself which direction to turn

Nekarsulm

As a young lad, ten or twelve, I undertook to put new wheel bearings in a farm trailer. Ford Transit hubs. First time I saw taper roller bearings. Managed to get both sides put back together with the outer bearings the wrong way round. Both wheels fell off about 100 yards down the lane. Never made that blunder again !

landmarkjohn

nd wrote: »

I'm sure we all know that nut's normally turn anticlockwise to loosen. But it's easy enough to get confused when you are not actually facing the same direction as the nut. More than once I've spent ages strggling with a nut trying to loosen it. Cursing at it ect. Only to eventually realise that I'm turning it the wrong way :pac:

The Yanks have a good one for this: righty tighty, lefty loosey..... so grip the nut with your fingers to figure it out..

MetzgerMeister

I did a decarbon job on my RX8 years ago. The rotor housings have nipple ports on them to which a DIY is to get a 2 litre bottle filled with water and a bit of oil and a 5mm diameter pipe going from the cap onto the nipple. You then start the engine and let it suck in the water and since an engine can't compress water, it turns it into steam which cleans off all the carbon.

The DIY called for 1 or 2 bottles and it'll be fine. But oh no, that wouldn't do MM! MM had to go for a third and while this was draining in here didn't a lovely CEL appear on the dash indicating that the secondary (most expensive) CO2 sensor had given up the ghost. Cost me around €380 for a new one.

That kind of a bill for a smoker who owned an RX8 and was also repaying a loan for the car wasn't a welcome one especially considering I didn't have to do the third bottle!

sogood

Replacing a half shaft on a Sierra years ago. Removed the wheel, brake caliper, and hub to get to the big nut. It wouldn't budge, so on went a piece of scaffolding and the combined weight of me and the postman, who just happened along, got it moving. But then the nut wouldn't unscrew properly, cos I stripped the threads, given that the big nut tightens ANTICLOCKWISE and loosens CLOCKWISE!!

Luckily I was replacing the shaft anyway, but it was a pain to get the nut off either way.