Smoking in the House

jamesbondings

hope they leave it to charity so the ungrateful sod wont get the "stinking house"

chops018

jamesbondings wrote: »

hope they leave it to charity so the ungrateful sod wont get the "stinking house"

Good man yourself.

Luckily the Succession Act caters for the protection of children's inheritances and the family home.

Anyway let them give the house to whoever they want. I'm hoping in a few years (less than 5) I can buy my own property.

Cee-Jay-Cee

chops018 wrote: »

As per my OP I have already tried that on numerous occasions, and I always try to address it in a calm manner and say how I am embarrassed to bring people over with the smoke, clothes and house in general stinks, and finally bad for a persons health.

It's always met with a hostile reaction.

I can understand their hostility if that's the approach you take. Telling them your embarrassed to bring people over because of their smoking is the wrong approach. Maybe try telling them your concerned for their health, that you don't want either of them to suffer a painful death as a result of lung cancer. That you want them to have them about when you get married and maybe have children. That you dont want to be visiting them in hospital when their smoking starts to seriously effect their health. Don't tell them your embarrassed.

MilesMorales1

If they've been smoking that long, telling them to stop isn't enough. Like someone else said, remove the wallpaper, scrub the walls and the furniture, maybe even rip up some of the doors and what not, and even then its no guarantee.

Riverireland

chops018 wrote: »

OP here.

Excuse me to the people calling me rude and entitled.

Well, I never knew one could be entitled about things like their health and their parents, and then things about smell, and smoke in general being disgusting.

It's not like I'm asking them to stop a habit like picking their nose.

Smoking affects the people around you and in my opinion it should be illegal to smoke in any enclosed space or indoors at all. Actually I think smoking should be illegal full stop as it's not like some drugs that people may choose to put in their bodies and they won't affect the person around them, immediately anyway, but smoking does in many ways as mentioned above.

They are being entitled by saying "tough, get out if you don't like it". They won't have an adult conversation with someone else living in the house with them about something I'm concerned over.

If I was a woman and started the OP by saying I'm pregnant and living at home then there would be uproar over my parents smoking. This is no different. Typical Irish approach to say I am being entitled etc.

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

Seriously!!! Grow up, move out, let your parents do what they like in their own home.

Tony EH

Tony EH wrote: »

Any "parents" unwilling to do this for a child, who had no say in being here, doesn't deserve children.

Does the OP have any regret whatsoever that his parents are now being spoken about in these terms? Has everything they've ever done been erased by the fact that they smoke and this meant they didn't deserve him in the first place?

mattP

Start coughing now and again, like youre trying to cough up a lung. Do it discreetly but when you do it really give it 110%. Paired with "I don't think I have a cold or anything(!?)" they might change their ways

antonymin

jamesbondings wrote: »

No.... It's their house.
He is entitled to worry about them in terms of their health etc but not hassle them about their habits in their home regardless of if he likes or doesn't like it.

It will soon be the OP's house if they carry on smoking. He should hasten the day by buying them stronger cigarettes.;)

Sir Osis of Liver.

Have you tried stabbing them?

Might work.

Sunny Disposition

If you are over 18 you really have to suck it up or move out, it'd be different if you were a kid. Don't blame you for trying to convince them, but saying you're embarrassed to bring people to the house (their house) isn't a good way to do it, that's bound to generate more heat than light. Seriously, if you're near 30 surely you should move? Share a house if you're not on a big salary?

IamtheWalrus

Poor parents that allow you to breathe in their second hand smoke. Their house, their rules? Bolox. The OP didn't ask to be born. Incredible behaviour from 2 adult primary care givers.

IamtheWalrus

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Poor parents that allow you to breathe in their second hand smoke. Their house, their rules? Bolox. The OP didn't ask to be born. Incredible behaviour from 2 adult primary care givers.

The misery of his life, he didn't ask to be born and yet now he is stuck with life given to him by two people who do nothing criminal, but merely enjoy a fag in the comfort of their own home. How uncaring of them to just give him life but not change their lifestyles to accommodate him in every way. Why if you threw open their presses I bet that evil couple have placed sugar and salt there just to tempt him into a bad lifestyle...

OP, are you ever gonna stand up for your parents or watch them being torn apart here? As I said before this whole thread says something wrong about one occupant of the house, and it's not them.

NachoBusiness

Do you think maybe you could get them to switch brands to Kool cigarettes?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCxff1Dyy2w

Omackeral

jamesbondings wrote: »

I never said nor implied it was a myth..... If he is worried about the dangers of passive smoking he can move out.

And what if grandchildren/nieces or nephews come to the house?

jamesbondings

Omackeral wrote: »

And what if grandchildren/nieces or nephews come to the house?

That's a decision for their parents to make.....

Melanoma

I think the people saying he can move out are stating the obvious and not trying to be helpful. I think that is the smoking is really bad and they do not change their habits it might be wise to move out. I don't know how you could persuade someone to smoke outside. I If there is a living room and a dining room designating one as the smoking room and keeping the door shut might help.

chops018

chops018 wrote: »

mod snip - personal information deletion

You mentioned your clothes again and again in your OP.

You have come back the this thread again and again as people have made all sorts of comments about your parents, up to "they shouldn't have been allowed kids".

You now casually fire in that your Dad has lung cancer!

This thread is actually disturbing. Very disturbing. For his sake I hope your father does well. As for you...good luck with your clothes and your hair or whatever else is bothering you in your bizarre priorities.

Jack GrEnglish

He should pack the miserable old cnuts off to a home and enjoy a smoke free environment.

Monkeysgomad

How do ye all know he is 30??
Also, you can't tell someone just to UL and leave and buy their own house. It can be so difficult to get a mortgage these days and house prices are though the roof. As for renting, he's not earning money so he can't do that. Cut him some slack, he's looking out for his health. As other people said if he started off saying 'I'm 25 female and pregnant' everyone would be agreeing that the parents must stop.
Of course there is suck thing as work experience where you're not paid. He is hardly doing it for fun.

Tony EH

Hang on...

You didn't think it worth mentioning that your dad hand lung cancer in the OP? Yet blithely chuck it out on page 8?

Your opening gambit is about how your clothes smell and how your parents are being dicks when you raise the issue...with not a word about your father having cancer.

I'm out.

There's something very wrong about this thread.

Liamario

anothernight wrote: »

If someone told me I couldn't smoke in my own house, they'd be shown the door. And I'm not even a smoker.

With that attitude, they're probably trying to pressure you into moving out.

So, if your kid asked you to stop smoking you'd kick them out of the house?

looksee

Liamario wrote: »

So, if your kid asked you to stop smoking you'd kick them out of the house?

At what age do you stop being a 'kid'

MilesMorales1

So, you whinge about your clothes and the smell, and as soon as people call you out on your whining you casually mention your dad has lung cancer?

Liamario

looksee wrote: »

At what age do you stop being a 'kid'

At what age of your child does smoking not cause lung cancer?

maggiepip

The "their house their rules" mantra is an ignorant load of crap to the throwing around. He is their son, a member of a family who still lives in the family home and he deserves a bit of respect too. The selfishness of smoking in your family members face when its causing distress is off the scale. The idea that parents can do what they want regardless of childrens feelings and health , (and that applies the same to adult children) because they own the family home is just wrong. Its also a really bad example of character to show no empathy or any sense of compromise when your actions are causing distress to another human being.

jamesbondings

maggiepip wrote: »

The "their house their rules" mantra is an ignorant load of crap to the throwing around. He is their son, a member of a family who still lives in the family home and he deserves a bit of respect too. The selfishness of smoking in your family members face when its causing distress is off the scale. The idea that parents can do what they want regardless of childrens feelings and health , (and that applies the same to adult children) because they own the family home is just wrong. Its also a really bad example of character to show no empathy or any sense of compromise when your actions are causing distress to another human being.

bull sh1t all of that.......if the OP owned the house i would be on his side.....HE should show THEM respect its their house their rules end of!!he gets a bit of respect....he gets to live there! doesnt like it he knows what to do.

i cant believe the stink of attitude "my parents should stop doing things they want to do in their own home because i dont like them doing it" gtfo

maggiepip

jamesbondings wrote: »

bull sh1t all of that.......if the OP owned the house i would be on his side.....HE should show THEM respect its their house their rules end of!!he gets a bit of respect....he gets to live there! doesnt like it he knows what to do.

i can beleive the stink of attitude "my parents should stop doing things they want to do in their own home because i dont like them doing it" gtfo

Does that apply to kids too? And at what age do parents decide their children (the ones they CHOSE to bring onto the world) can just bugger off and get their own place as they no longer deserve any consideration or respect? With that attitide I doubt much empathy or respect was ever given. Maybe thats why the world is so full of selfish b@stards copying their parents great example.

maggiepip

maggiepip wrote: »

Does that apply to kids too? And at what age do parents decide their children (the ones they CHOSE to bring onto the world) can just bugger off and get their own place as they no longer deserve any consideration or respect? With that attitide I doubt much empathy or respect was ever given. Maybe thats why the world is so full of selfish b@stards copying their parents great example.

Again, OP, you happy that your Dad, who has cancer as you dropped in on the 8th page of the thread, is being torn apart on the internet by people who don't know him?

I think it's fairly disgusting. You should pull this entire thread.

jamesbondings

maggiepip wrote: »

Does that apply to kids too? And at what age do parents decide their children (the ones they CHOSE to bring onto the world) can just bugger off and get their own place as they no longer deserve any consideration or respect? With that attitide I doubt much empathy or respect was ever given. Maybe thats why the world is so full of selfish b@stards copying their parents great example.

The kids point is also bull sh1t, he was brought up in an age where it was socially acceptable to smoke in the house! they did and they havent stopped (nothing wrong with that).

So now he is grown up and seemingly opinionated he decides he wants them to stop.....
So OPs parents are selfish b@stards because they are living their lives in their home the way THEY see fit?
You do realise, they probably worked hard their whole lives to put a roof over OPs head, to raise kids (to a high standard, what with op being a trainee solicitor). If anything he is being the selfish one. Leave them be, they dont want to quit, then nobody not even their kids or lodgers have any right to demand they stop.

Maybe thats why the world is so full of entitled brats who feel the world owes them a living, expecting their parents to bend to their will.

Honestly those who believe his parents should bow down to his demands need a good wake up call, perhaps grow up a little.

ps: this may be his family home, but it is not his. It is their home and they ALLOW him to stay. Rock the boat op, and you will sink it

jamesbondings

ACTUALLY AGREE, this should have been for PI not AH

maggiepip

I simply fail to understand why parents, according to some, have absolutely no obligation to consider other family members feelings/distress being caused, because , hey, they own the house.

freshpopcorn

maggiepip wrote: »

I simply fail to understand why parents, according to some, have absolutely no obligation to consider other family members feelings/distress being caused, because , hey, they own the house.

The op parents feelings are that they want to smoke in the house and since it's two against one. Usually the majority wins.

I think the issue is bigger than the OP not liking the smell of ciggies on clothes. I feel the OPs obsession is more to do with concern for the parents health, the father in particular. There is nothing the OP can do to get them to give up, if they are not willing to even listen. I feel the OP could do with some counselling to help cope with the reality of a family member living with cancer.

Liamario

maggiepip wrote: »

I simply fail to understand why parents, according to some, have absolutely no obligation to consider other family members feelings/distress being caused, because , hey, they own the house.

People seem unable to differentiate between a moral and a legal obligation. All the parents would have to do, would step outside and smoke. Problem solved. I'd bet they'd do it for the right amount of money, but obviously the health of their child is lower down the list. The excuse that it was accepted back then is also a total cop out, we've been hearing that ****e for decades.
And yes, the father is selfish- he has/had lung cancer and he's still puffing away and who ****ing cares who he takes with him.

jamesbondings

maggiepip wrote: »

I simply fail to understand why parents, according to some, have absolutely no obligation to consider other family members feelings/distress being caused, because , hey, they own the house.

Im getting tired of constantly repeating myself. They are the elders, remember the saying respect them!?
IT IS THEIR HOUSE.....if they wanted to sh1t on all the floors INCLUDING ops "room" they can...
HE is the one not giving them the respect and consideration they DESERVE.

If they want him out he hasnt a say, so to think he has a say on the way they live their lives is ludicrous.

On top of it i cant fathom how a kid feels he has the authority to demand his parents do ANYTHING....

Liamario

Liamario wrote: »

I'd bet they'd do it for the right amount of money...

Is it fun to abuse a man in his 80s with cancer?

You don't know him. To suggest he is some money grubbing type...it's just nuts. And very ugly.

Liamario

jamesbondings wrote: »

Im getting tired of constantly repeating myself. They are the elders, remember the saying respect them!?
IT IS THEIR HOUSE.....if they wanted to sh1t on all the floors INCLUDING ops "room" they can...

Nobody is disputing that. Just because they can, it doesn't mean they should.

HE is the one not giving them the respect and consideration they DESERVE.

You don't deserve respect, you earn it. Based on the whole lung cancer thing, they've earned zero respect on this issue.

If they want him out he hasnt a say, so to think he has a say on the way they live their lives is ludicrous.

No argument here. He's not some random stranger though, his opinion should have some value to his parents.

On top of it i cant fathom how a kid feels he has the authority to demand his parents do ANYTHING....

OP doesn't appear to have demanded anything of them. Just asked his parents to consider their child's health while living there. A loving parent would at least make an effort to compromise on such an issue. Just to reiterate, this is the parents prerogative on whether they should listen or not.

Liamario

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Is it fun to abuse a man in his 80s with cancer?

You don't know him. To suggest he is some money grubbing type...it's just nuts. And very ugly.

I don't know him and my comment is based on assumption. That's all it's based on. I'm going to assume that the man is of reasonable intelligence and is going to smoke outside if someone gives him a million euro.

Liamario

Liamario wrote: »

I don't know him and my comment is based on assumption. That's all it's based on. I'm going to assume that the man is of reasonable intelligence and is going to smoke outside if someone gives him a million euro.

You suggested that his concern for money exceeded his love for his child.

It was a very ugly suggestion, you can't backtrack now with some "million euro" nonsense.

Liamario

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You suggested that his concern for money exceeded his love for his child.

It was a very ugly suggestion, you can't backtrack now with some "million euro" nonsense.

I said, 'the right amount of money'- which is an undefined sum. It suggests that there is an amount of money that his parents would smoke outside for. It may come across as rude or making assumptions, but that's all I have to go on.
I think it's a safe bet that they'd go outside and smoke for the right amount of money.

Of course I could be completely wrong and considering that lack of info, this is quite possible. Don't get so high and mighty about people we don't know. OP has asked for opinions, he didn't specify how harsh he would like them.

Liamario

Liamario wrote: »

I said, 'the right amount of money'- which is an undefined sum. It suggests that there is an amount of money that his parents would smoke outside for. It may come across as rude or making assumptions, but that's all I have to go on.
I think it's a safe bet that they'd go outside and smoke for the right amount of money.

Of course I could be completely wrong and considering that lack of info, this is quite possible. Don't get so high and mighty about people we don't know. OP has asked for opinions, he didn't specify how harsh he would like them.

You did far more than suggest there was some undefined sum that would make them smoke outside.

You said that they cared more about money than their own child. Here it is again...

Liamario wrote: »

I'd bet they'd do it for the right amount of money, but obviously the health of their child is lower down the list.

As for getting "high and mighty about people we don't know" I see you do irony. Isn't that precisely what you have done?

Boom_Bap

Closed as the OP requested that this be closed.