Do I need to stop drinking?

shabaz

When I drink for some reason after I've had a good few I can turn nasty an start arguing with my boyfriend. I know I drink too much and have said I will try to control it but I can't. I drink wine and enjoy it so much but it doesn't agree with me yet I can't seem to change my drink or drink less. my boyfriend has said I turn nasty with drink which I feel terrible about. I just don't know if I could give up drink. the thought of it makes me feel sad that I won't be able to enjoy myself ever again. But then I love my partner an know that he doesn't deserve this carry on.

Sunnyisland

Hi
Why don't you stop drinking for a month or two and see how your life in all aspects is getting on, You don't have to stop drinking forever but by giving yourself the option which is best suited for you,The reality of not drinking is entirely down to the individual themselves especially at the start of there drinking lives,it has to come from you,

You have your partner saying you become nasty and horrible when you drink and you say you love him but still don't want to stop drinking, nothing changes if nothing changes.

sheesh

You have 2 choices stop being a dick while drunk
or give up alcohol


You could also be an Alcoholic in which case you have to give up alcohol.

Penny Tration

How can you enjoy drink if you're acting like a horrible person while drinking? Being horrible means you're probably not enjoying it at all.

Tbh, drink doesn't agree with some people, and it sounds like you're one of them. It's worrying that you say you can't/don't want to give it up.

For the sake of your relationship, you should stop. The question is, is drink more important than your boyfriend? If you can't choose between the two, you have a problem.

barbie1234

hey sheesh, glad you apologised for being do blunt, this person is obviously looking for advice, not to be put down like that.

i can have the same thoughts RE: never drinking again. ill think never have fun again. its a really hard mindset to change. realies you make a really good point. very hard to remember that in the moment tho- at the end of a stressful day and someone offers you a beer:(

Sunnyisland

[QUOTE=barbie1234; realies you make a really good point. very hard to remember that in the moment tho- at the end of a stressful day and someone offers you a beer:([/QUOTE]


Hi barbie that's why if folks are really serious about stopping drinking they have to make hard choices, as in don't be around drinkers,don't go out to bars etc at the start,it's next to impossible to stop drinking alcohol and keep on living the same lifestyle, everything has to change. Your idea of fun will shift after staying clean and sober for a while. For the longest time, I did not believe this would be true for me if I stopped using drugs and alcohol. The problem was, I had used drinking and drugging as my means of recreation for so long, that I refused to believe that anything else could be fun for me again.

This is typical of addiction. When you are addicted to a chemical (such as alcohol or any other drug), then you get into the habit of using it to medicate nearly every situation in your life. Going to the movies? Gotta get drunk/high first. Going out to a wedding, funeral ,or nearly any Irish social occasion ,Only if I can bring the booze along and so on.

We train ourselves in addiction to only have fun when we are using drugs and alcohol. Without the buzz, we feel out of sorts and cannot possibly enjoy whatever is going on, because we are too disgruntled at not being intoxicated with our drug of choice.

So it should come as no surprise that addicts and alcoholics believe that they will never have any fun again if they get clean and sober. They think they are facing a life of gloom and misery if they can no longer get high.

But the truth is, getting high stopped being fun a long time ago, and they might only recapture that level of “fun” every once in a great while, when they are lucky enough to get almost totally smashed on their drug of choice without going totally over the edge. And even then, the “fun” only lasts for a few hours at the most, and they are back to weeks and weeks of misery, trying to chase that perfect moment.

This is addiction. It is the constant pursuit of that perfect high, and stubbornly hanging on to the memory of it, while turning up your nose at normal ways of having fun.

Bottom line is this: you get clean and sober, and stick it out for a while, and normal “life” starts getting fun again. Believe it or not, life gets good again. And fun again. But it takes time, and part of this is the learning process, and allowing room for experimentation in our lives.

shabaz

Thanks you for your replies. Basically when I say I get nasty it's usually something like, Ill start moaning on the way home if something annoys me like waiting on.a taxi or if we fall out about something and then this can lead to us arguing. It doesn't happen everytime but sometimes. To me I'm sure lot of couples have similar things like this with drink on.them. This is why I don't feel I have to give up drink but just know my limit. I have discussed this with my partner a few times and even he does not think I need to give up but slow down my drinking when we are out. so this is why I battle with what to do.

Amazingfun

shabaz wrote: »

Thanks you for your replies. Basically when I say I get nasty it's usually something like, Ill start moaning on the way home if something annoys me like waiting on.a taxi or if we fall out about something and then this can lead to us arguing. It doesn't happen everytime but sometimes. To me I'm sure lot of couples have similar things like this with drink on.them. This is why I don't feel I have to give up drink but just know my limit. I have discussed this with my partner a few times and even he does not think I need to give up but slow down my drinking when we are out. so this is why I battle with what to do.

Well, give it a trial period and see if you can stick to whatever limit you decide on. Many alcoholics I know did a lot of this kind of activity: changing drinks, drinking only on weekends, switiching from wine to beer only, or vice versa. Sometimes this can go on for years.

Only you will know the truth, and if you find you cannot control the amount you take once you start, you may discover you have to stop entirely. That was where I arrived, and despite knowing I couldn't control my drinking once I started, I couldn't seem to stay off it ....my mind would always give me a reason (good or bad) to pick it up.
And that is why I am a member of AA.

Anyways, best of luck with it, I really hope you are able to enjoy it and stop when you need to