Appropriate dress for Wedding in Spain or no?

SarahMollie

Hi all,

I've just ordered the following dress from Asos with half a mind to wearing it to a wedding next May in Marbella.

http://www.asos.com//ASOS-Tall/ASOS-TALL-Exclusive-Occasion-Plunge-Dress-with-Open-Back/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4949417

I'm just having 2nd thoughts because I'm not exactly flat chested (!!!) and although I would plan on using plenty of tit tape etc to make sure that everything is contained, but.....still its quite low cut at the front.

So, thoughts? Is this just a no no? To be honest, i wouldn't dream of wearing it to a wedding in Ireland but for some reason I feel like a wedding in Spain would be slightly different dress code wise? Is this a fair assumption?

Deer

I think it's gorgeous and I would wear it. In fact I would wear it in Ireland too if it was a nice day. You'll know yourself re boobage as soon as you try it on!

Malari

It's lovely! I'd wear it to a summer wedding anywhere!

SarahMollie

Thanks ladies!

Yeah, sure i'll know more once I get my paws on it but good to know its not a massive faux pas!

Mrs OBumble

SarahMollie wrote: »

...i wouldn't dream of wearing it to a wedding in Ireland but for some reason I feel like a wedding in Spain would be slightly different dress code wise? Is this a fair assumption?

I really think you answered your own question there.

The fabric might make it better, but to me that picture looks like a sun-dress than wedding attire. Personally I wouldn't wear it anywhere.

GardeningGirl

Hey, I love the colour, it's really pretty.

Regards your question, I think if you are having doubts at all then you know yourself.
It would be a shame to have a nice event affected by discomfort from your attire.

Better overdressed than underdressed

looksee

I think the style of the wedding is more important than whether it is in Spain or Ireland.

I have a neighbour who has attended numerous family weddings in Spain and looking at the photographs I cannot say that that particular dress would have been particularly appropriate, but then again, maybe her family is a little more...staid? conservative? Whatever about the reception, I think that particular dress in a church would be a bit dubious.

pwurple

Lovely dress, have you tried it on? I'd get a contrasting panel added at the front by a seamstress if it was a wedding though. Weddings are a long day, especially in heat. I'd be worried about popping out of that.

SarahMollie

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I really think you answered your own question there.

The fabric might make it better, but to me that picture looks like a sun-dress than wedding attire. Personally I wouldn't wear it anywhere.

Wow, your tone is a bit unnecessary- thanks for the judgement, but I can do without it next time.

My whole purpose in asking was that the dresses I've worn in Ireland wouldnt be appropriate because it will be at 3pm, so likely 25 degrees or more. Firstly I'd look ridiculous and secondly it would be extremely sweaty.

@everyone else - thanks for the genine feedback. Just to point out it isnt a church wedding, its a venue right on the beech.

I havent got the dress yet and as a seasoned online shopper I know not to make up my mind until I've tried it on. If its nice but booby I might keep it for one of the other evenings as we'll be there for 4/5 days.

looksee

Well now, you have just moved the goalposts right to the other end of the pitch!:D If its a beach wedding I'd say go for it!

michellie

Oh I think it's gorgeous and I might just purchase it for my honeymoon next August, thanks OP

cee_jay

The product info on the site says the material is heavyweight and thick. So it might be too hot for wearing during the midday/afternoon heat in Spain. Ifor you have purchased this already, just keep this in mind. I would recommend lightweight, cotton material for maximum comfort.

cactusgal

Hmmm, I don't think it's quite appropriate for a wedding, but that's just my opinion. I think if you have small boobs, you could get away with it, but I wouldn't wear it to the wedding, maybe one of the after events.

retro:electro

I think it's a gorgeous dress. Jesus I was expecting it to be a boob exposing bodycon mini the way people were going on! I think it's very elegant and perfect for a beach wedding. Get it, and if you've any doubts then sew up the front a bit. Simples.

frostyjacks

It's a nice dress in itself, but I think it's inappropriate for a wedding. It may take the attention away from the bride, and no bride want's to be upstaged on her wedding day.

michellie

frostyjacks wrote: »

It's a nice dress in itself, but I think it's inappropriate for a wedding. It may take the attention away from the bride, and no bride want's to be upstaged on her wedding day.

Unless the OP is wearing a white beaded lace dress with her boobs hanging out she won't upstage the bride!!

frostyjacks

michellie wrote: »

Unless the OP is wearing a white beaded lace dress with her boobs hanging out she won't upstage the bride!!

It's a question of etiquette. All eyes should be on the bride on her wedding day, not a lady with her cleavage on display.

SarahMollie

frostyjacks wrote: »

It's a question of etiquette. All eyes should be on the bride on her wedding day, not a lady with her cleavage on display.

Just to clarify, if I get it and try it on and i can't get my chest to fit comfortably inside without being too conspicuous I will either return it or keep it for another occasion.

I think we can all agree that boobs hanging out for a wedding is not a good look!

I have 5 weddings to attend next year so I'm just trying to pick up nice dresses whenever I can so I don't end up panic buying something awful!

Mrs OBumble

SarahMollie wrote: »

Wow, your tone is a bit unnecessary- thanks for the judgement, but I can do without it next time.

Don't post asking for opinions if you only want people who agree with you.

You said yourself that you wouldn't wear it to a wedding here.

You also said that you wanted information about whether dress standards are lower at non-church wedding venues in Spain than they are at similar venues in Ireland. I'm not sure that anyone's really answered that at all - and TBH I don't see why you would have less respect for the bride/groom just because it's overseas.

PhoenixParker

I don't have big breasts, but there's still no way I'd wear that dress to a wedding.
The deep plunging V to your navel isn't appropriate for a formal event.

SarahMollie

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

and TBH I don't see why you would have less respect for the bride/groom just because it's overseas.

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Personally I wouldn't wear it anywhere.

If you honestly can't see that you're being completely rude, I can't help you.

Plenty of people have given opinions on both sides which I'm happy to hear- you're the only person casting judgement.

Subcomandante Marcos

Hi OP, I'm half Spanish, the dress is fine. If the ceremony is in a church maybe consider wearing a shall or silk scarf around your shoulders to "cover up" a bit while in the church. Other than that, you'd be grand. It's a lovely dress if you can pull it off.

Blingy

Dress is fab. Love the colour. Would u be comfy in it at the wedding. You could always get a little panel(lace or something like that) put in the plunge. Beautiful dress though and sorry but don't know how you would be upstaging the bride.
Amazing what some brides seem to worry about I certainly wasn't scrutinising my guests attire at my wedding .... Much better things to be doing.

Spanish Eyes

It's a gorgeous colour. But the plunging neckline would make ME feel a bit self conscious.

This pic is a better one of the plunge. I personally wouldn't be comfortable in it TBH.

meeeeh

Try it on and see how it fits. Also check material, heavy polyester and elastane don't make happy combo for hot weather.

SarahMollie

meeeeh wrote: »

Try it on and see how it fits. Also check material, heavy polyester and elastane don't make happy combo for hot weather.

Thanks, and yes totally agree. As with anything bought on line, you never really know until you get it, and the reason I order form Asos is that they're really good at handling returns if necessary.

frostyjacks

Did the invite mention anything about an informal dress code? Unless it's specified on the invite you'd have to assume that the standard rules apply.

SarahMollie

frostyjacks wrote: »

Did the invite mention anything about an informal dress code? Unless it's specified on the invite you'd have to assume that the standard rules apply.

Just have the save the date so far (postcard style), full invite to follow. The couple have also set up a website for guests to give info about the venue, accommodation etc, and while it doesn't mention dress code specifically, I'm also not getting an extremely formal vibe so far.

Knowing what I'm like, I'll probably end up bringing at least 3 outfits with me and will only chose on the day depending on how its going.

Curvy Vixen

I actually bought that same dress in cream and took it away with me to Mexico a couple of weeks ago.

It's lovely on but there is no way at all you can wear a bra however low cut the bra. I took the bra off and you can see a good bit of boob! But more importantly was that wearing it braless showed everything through the material. And I mean every bump and nipple ridge!!! I took it back off again and sadly it's going back because it's a lovely dress!!

Pretty sure it might be too risqué for a wedding....

SarahMollie

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

I actually bought that same dress in cream and took it away with me to Mexico a couple of weeks ago.

It's lovely on but there is no way at all you can wear a bra however low cut the bra. I took the bra off and you can see a good bit of boob! But more importantly was that wearing it braless showed everything through the material. And I mean every bump and nipple ridge!!! I took it back off again and sadly it's going back because it's a lovely dress!!

Pretty sure it might be too risqué for a wedding....

Thanks, really interesting to hear from someone who actually has the item! If the mint colour is that indiscreet its definitely going back! Thankfully it looks like the post strike is over so hopefully I'll get it in a few more days.

Pretty much assumed that a bra wouldn't be possible but was hoping some nifty taping might work. If not, I will be reaching for the returns label!

Sunny Dayz

I think it's a lovely dress, I like the colour. However I think it is more suited to someone who is less well endowed on the top. It's not meant to be a boobie type of dress and it's not really meant to show cleavage as such.
FWIW - at a friend's wedding a few years ago a mate's girlfriend wore a dress with much the same neck line although it was a maxi dress. She carried it off well cos she was tall and slender. (not trying to say that you're not OP!!)

pooch90

I think it's the kind of dress where you need to have a similar body shape to the model (ie small chest), purely because the V goes so deep. From the close up of it, the material doesn't look great on the V either.
If I looked like it does on the model on me (not a hope of that!!) then I would absolutely wear it to the wedding. However, as the other poster said, it's very see through and nipples on show then obviously a no.
On an aside, Asos use couriers not An Post so strike won't affect delivery. Currently waiting on a dress myself for a wedding next week. Ordered last night, with couriers already.

etymon

Hilarious... going by the comments I was expecting a Michelle Keegan job. It's a beautiful dress and with natural makeup like the model it will be stunning. And I have been to all sorts of weddings. Just avoid orange tan and red lips and Bob's your uncle.

Tarzana2

Gorgeous dress BUT I do think you need to be small-boobed for it to work as a dress to be worn to a wedding. I think the cleavage that would happen with medium to big boobs wouldn't be appropriate. Like, I'm a C cup and I wouldn't wear it to a wedding because even though my boobs aren't that big, cleavage would happen with that dress.

Tarzana2

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Don't post asking for opinions if you only want people who agree with you.

You can give a dissenting opinion without being rude, you know?

Dial Hard

Blingy wrote:

Beautiful dress though and sorry but don't know how you would be upstaging the bride. Amazing what some brides seem to worry about I certainly wasn't scrutinising my guests attire at my wedding .... Much better things to be doing.

It's generally other guests who are doing the scrutinising, not the bride, and believe me inappropriate attire will be noticed and marked. As others have said, it's a matter of etiquette.

OP, I'd be seriously concerned about how revealing that dress will be when you're sitting down and it's not pulled taut between your waist and shoulders.

For me, personally it's a no.

Tarzana2

Dial Hard wrote: »

It's generally other guests who are doing the scrutinising, not the bride, and believe me inappropriate attire will be noticed and marked. As others have said, it's a matter of etiquette.

The only etiquette one can really follow here is not to wear white, off-white, ivory or cream. The only comments I've ever heard re: a guest's outfit was if she wore a dress in one of the above hues.

Other than that, how would you even define what constitutes upstaging, seeing as people's views on this would differ greatly? One person's upstaging is another person's looking their best. (and everyone wants to look their best at weddings).

Dial Hard

Tarzana2 wrote:

Other than that, how would you even define what constitutes upstaging, seeing as people's views on this would differ greatly?.

I'd be thinking more in terms of propriety than "upstaging" and I'd have anything too short, too cleavagy, too tight etc. under that umbrella.

And it's not just weddings, tbh. I always meet my dad for a Tuesday drink and there's a funeral afters in today. Half of them look like they're off clubbing and it's just not appropriate, imo.

Tarzana2

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'd be thinking more in terms of propriety than "upstaging" and I'd have anything too short, too cleavagy, too tight etc. under that umbrella.

I think that ship has sailed then! Most wedding congregations will include some body con dresses, short dresses and definitely there are plenty of tight dresses worn. In under 30s women, anyway. In this regard, the times would appear to be changing. Usually what happens is that people will have some kind of suitable cover up for the church portion of the day. But the OP could do that too. She has said herself that if the dress is too cleavage-y, she won't wear it.

frostyjacks

How would you even dance in that dress? Wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

We had a guest at our wedding dressed in a low cut dress, hemline above the knee, lots of flesh on display. My wife wasn't happy at all.

It was the last time we invited poor uncle John to anything.

Electric Sheep

I'd maybe keep that dress for the next day party, if there is one. Definitely wouldn't wear it to a wedding, though it is a great dress.

Toots

Guys keep it civil.

pwurple

On the larger photo, the finish on that dress isn't great. The fabric looks like it has been cut and left raw in the front, with a rough edge. See all the bits of fray starting?

To me, that looks slapdash, like a cheap dress. A panel like I suggested earlier would only highlight that unfortunately. If it is unfinished like that when it arrives, I would send it back.

SarahMollie

pwurple wrote: »

On the larger photo, the finish on that dress isn't great. The fabric looks like it has been cut and left raw in the front, with a rough edge. See all the bits of fray starting?

To me, that looks slapdash, like a cheap dress. A panel like I suggested earlier would only highlight that unfortunately. If it is unfinished like that when it arrives, I would send it back.

To be honest, I can see it looks unfinished on the blown up image. I guess I'll only know once I have it in my possession (hopefully today or tomorrow) and if the fabric is just cut and not hemmed then it will definitely be sent back regardless of how it fits.

CaraMay

I've been to a few weddings in Spain (both locals and foreigners getting married) and tbh it wouldn't be appropriate. I've found people dress conservatively at weddings there.

meeeeh

pwurple wrote: »

On the larger photo, the finish on that dress isn't great. The fabric looks like it has been cut and left raw in the front, with a rough edge. See all the bits of fray starting?

To me, that looks slapdash, like a cheap dress. A panel like I suggested earlier would only highlight that unfortunately. If it is unfinished like that when it arrives, I would send it back.

I've seen that on a few clothing items recently, not necessarily cheap ones. I am also not a big fan of it. But you never know until you see it in person and try it. Judging from picture it's an a cup dress but it's so easy to return things it really isn't big deal getting something and sending it back if it doesn't work.

Neyite

frostyjacks wrote: »

How would you even dance in that dress? Wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

Double sided body tape. That stuff is magic!

We had a guest at our wedding dressed in a low cut dress, hemline above the knee, lots of flesh on display. My wife wasn't happy at all.

It was the last time we invited poor uncle John to anything.

Well, even if Uncle John wore a demure dress instead of the revealing one, it is gonna upstage a bride! :pac:

SarahMollie wrote: »

To be honest, I can see it looks unfinished on the blown up image. I guess I'll only know once I have it in my possession (hopefully today or tomorrow) and if the fabric is just cut and not hemmed then it will definitely be sent back regardless of how it fits.

I'm not a fan of a raw edge finish like this either. But it still could be a lovely dress to wear for other nights of the wedding vacation if you feel its not suitable for the actual wedding.

groovyg

Op I was at wedding near Malaga a few years back and it was baking hot there. The wedding was on the beach at 5pm in the evening it was still stifling. I brought two dresses as an option but realised on arrival neither of them would suit as the material was too heavy in both of them. They worked fine for summer weddings in Ireland because we rarely get those hot sticky humid days but if I'd worn either of them at that wedding I would have been dripping in sweat. I ended up buying a very light summery dress when I got there and it worked fine.

Its a lovely coloured dress but the material might not be suited if its going to be really warm there. I find with ASOS the clothes look great on the website but the material they use in some of their clothes is awful. I end up sending back a lot of clothes based on the material.

The good thing about ASOS is now its only 3.50 for returns so you could buy a few dresses and the postage would be the same for 10 as it is for 1.

SarahMollie

groovyg wrote: »

Op I was at wedding near Malaga a few years back and it was baking hot there. The wedding was on the beach at 5pm in the evening it was still stifling. I brought two dresses as an option but realised on arrival neither of them would suit as the material was too heavy in both of them. They worked fine for summer weddings in Ireland because we rarely get those hot sticky humid days but if I'd worn either of them at that wedding I would have been dripping in sweat. I ended up buying a very light summery dress when I got there and it worked fine.

Its a lovely coloured dress but the material might not be suited if its going to be really warm there. I find with ASOS the clothes look great on the website but the material they use in some of their clothes is awful. I end up sending back a lot of clothes based on the material.

The good thing about ASOS is now its only 3.50 for returns so you could buy a few dresses and the postage would be the same for 10 as it is for 1.

Thanks, thats some really useful feedback! I'm a seasoned Asos shopper and I'd say I send back about 50% of the stuff I order - material being different than I'd imagined is probably the main reason, as well as sometimes things just not suiting me. As you say the delivery is free and returns are cheap, around the same as an hours carparking in town so I definitely don't mind buying things on a bit of a whim I prefer trying things on at home.

I've been to a few weddings over the years and have 5 planned for next year but this is the only one thats stressing me out outfit wise! Its so hard to find something thats formal enough but also light and comfortable. Instinctively I'm avoiding styles with any form of sleeves or that have a tight skirt, but my options don't seem great. Good thing I have 6 months to come up with something!

The wedding is the very end of May - what time of year was the one you attended? Apparently the ceremony is at 3pm -eeek!

groovyg

The one I attended was in July but you never know with the weather it can change so you might be ok.

Milly33

Would you ever go down the route of getting something made. At least it would fit all over and you could accommodate das boobins? Have to say having big boobs and finding a dress is a pain, I have tried the old boob tape and while it is good I still feel like im watching them all night to make sure they stay in...

Or you could if you were wearing a cardi or something get a piece made to sit in the middle so it isn't too booby....