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Should I say something?

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  • 15-10-2015 11:43pm
    #1
    Drdoc
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭


    Just looking for some advice here.
    I have a very close friend who has a 23 month old girl who I'm almost certain has an ASD.
    This little girl met all her milestones up to the age of one or so and seems to have stalled since. She has no words, does not point, does not show things, doesn't play with toys at all, walks on toes, flaps arms, super sensitive to noise etc. I have felt like there may be a developmental issue for a while and have tried to broach it with my friend by way of discussing speech delay. She did go to her PHN about this and the little girl has had her hearing tested and it's fine. It seems that the PHN did not pick up on all the other little bits.
    Anyway my friend is convinced it's just an isolated speech delay although I really don't think it is. Her PHN seems to be not much help and the waiting list for speech and language is so long. I'm aware that the earlier the help given the better and I think that going private would be an option for my friend. However I really don't know how to broach the subject without potentially losing a dear friend? Or should I just leave it be and wait til the SLT picks it up (could be 6 months or more)?
    Thanks


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    #2
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Oh I don't envy you op. You are in a hard spot. Can I ask if you have experience in the area?

    Is the child in crèche? If so then they would surely be picking up red flags by now?


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    #3
    Drdoc
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭Drdoc


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Oh I don't envy you op. You are in a hard spot. Can I ask if you have experience in the area?

    Is the child in crèche? If so then they would surely be picking up red flags by now?

    I have a medical background alright.
    Unfortunately the child is not in crèche but at home with mam.


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    #4
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    If it were me I would say it out straight. It's good that you have a meducal background (and that's why I asked) as she may take your word more seriously.

    I was thinking about your post since I replied and the concern for you is clearly that your friend might shoot the messenger. For the child's sake, this is a risk you are going to have to take.

    We went to prof Fitzgerald after the crèche raised issues and I'm so glad we did. Our son started home tuition at 26 months and is coming on great.

    Fair play to you got putting yourself on the line. From the things you mentioned it would certainly seem like the child needs to see a professional and, for me, every day we did nothing was a day wasted.

    Is there any info you need to help you prepare for the conversation?


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    #5
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Btw 4 gp's and the phn all said they thought there was nothing to worry about. I'm very glad I didn't listen to them.


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    #6
    Drdoc
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭Drdoc


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Btw 4 gp's and the phn all said they thought there was nothing to worry about. I'm very glad I didn't listen to them.

    You see this is what I'm worried about. That it'll get missed/pawned off.
    Turns out that her 2 year check is scheduled soon. Will see what comes from that and if nothing, I think I'll have to sit down and talk to my friend.

    Thanks for your input Cara may. Have you found a big difference since you started the home tuition? Would you have wished someone would've said it to you if it was something you hadn't seen/noticed?


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    #7
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    It's very likely it will get missed as it can be way harder to diagnose a girl. I would definitely want to be told but then again I've heard a lot of oarebts don't want to hear it. It's 50/50 op. Tbh I think the child's future is more important than a friendship. Hopefully it won't come to that

    Ah yeah he's made massive gains in a relatively short period and is still very young.


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    #8
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    It's very likely it will get missed as it can be way harder to diagnose a girl. I would definitely want to be told but then again I've heard a lot of oarebts don't want to hear it. It's 50/50 op. Tbh I think the child's future is more important than a friendship. Hopefully it won't come to that

    Ah yeah he's made massive gains in a relatively short period and is still very young.


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    #9
    Drdoc
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭Drdoc


    Thanks for that.
    To be honest it's so glaringly obvious to both me and my partner I'm not sure how it could be missed. As it stands she wouldn't be able to do any of the tasks at the 2 year check. Yet I have my fears that it will.....
    Anyway as that's in the next few weeks I'll just see what happens and if nothing does I will definitely say something and hope that at some point (even if not immediately) my friend sees that I did it for the child and hopefully our friendship survives.
    Great to hear your little boy is doing so well.


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    #10
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Fair play to you op. You are great to be thinking of them. Will nd interested in hearing how it goes and if your friend needs / wants any help I'm more than happy. I can tell her what we did and she can take what she wants from that.


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    #11
    Drdoc
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭Drdoc


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Fair play to you op. You are great to be thinking of them. Will nd interested in hearing how it goes and if your friend needs / wants any help I'm more than happy. I can tell her what we did and she can take what she wants from that.

    Thanks very much, that's very kind of you.
    Will update when we've had some progress


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