Thrush affecting relationship

LegacyUser

Let me start by saying that I'm not looking for medical advice, just the opinion and views of some of the ladies here.

I had thrush about 3 weeks ago and my boyfriend caught it from me. We've been going out for over a year and this is the second time I've had thrush. The first time it went away by itself.

This time, like before, we both agreed to abstain from sex until it had cleared up and we both used creams. I self diagnosed the thrush and he went to the doctor and got a prescription. He was worried because he'd never had it/caught it from me before.

Last week we thought we were both ok so we decided to have sex again. I ending up getting thrush again, from him and his got worse. We were basically ping ponging the infection back to each other, unknowingly.

He's been worried the past few days that his is not getting better and he's made an appointment at an std clinic. My thrush has cleared up but my bf still wants me to go to an std clinic.

I just don't know what to do. It's a lot of money but I think he just wants peace of mind. He's also a bit annoyed at me and is a bit tetchy because he's worried. Any advice or thoughts?

Neyite

I think you need to follow your partner's lead and go to a doctor instead of self-diagnosis. The doctor can prescribe pessaries or oral medication to fully clear it up. Creams can only ease it to a certain extent.

No harm to get the STI test either, it doesn't have to cost money. Some are free.
Thrush can be triggered by lots of organic causes in women - medication or contraceptive changes, hormonal changes, illnesses, lubrications, sanitary wear etc. You could be run down.

Either way, you need to go to a GP and get a proper diagnosis and treatment plan for it.

njs030

When was the last time you had an sti test? It's a good idea to both have one done before you stop using condoms to make sure there's no problems you aren't aware of.

There's no reason to not have one and if it really is bothering him it's a good idea to set his mind at ease. Self-diagnosis is ok sometimes but if it's not going away you should see a doctor anyway. It might seem a minor issue but if you don't clear it completely it can work it's way through your reproductive system and cause major problems.

LegacyUser

I would get Thrush fairly frequently. You MUST go to the doctor. Why wouldn't you? Especially if it's something that is recurring. The creams you buy in the chemist are topical and only treating the outside symptoms. The cause of it is coming from inside. You can buy over the counter persaries and creams but if it is something recurring, and now prolonged, the infection might be too strong for over the counter products.

Just go to the doctor.

R.D. aka MR.D

Definitely go for the test.

I have sympathy for your boyfriend. I'm massively paranoid about getting thrush because it's so damn uncomfortable and it's even worse for men. It must be incredibly frustrating for him that you don't seem to be taking your sexual health seriously. Even if you think it's 'just thrush' you should try to see it from his point of view, you're not a doctor and it has reoccured in a short period of time. Of course he is worried.

Lux23

Try and go to a free clinic, sure what harm would it do? Thrush can be very hard to shake off without medical intervention and in fairness there could be something else going on. Hope you feel better soon.

Faith

Yeah, it sounds to me like yours never cleared up, OP, and he just keeps getting it back from you. You might have managed some symptoms with a cream, but generally it won't clear up completely without either a pessary or oral tablet.

I have suffered extensively with persistent thrush throughout my adult life, and my GP has insisted on STI tests a couple of times, even though I hadn't changed partners (she even insisted when we were engaged). It was never an STI, but it was good to be sure.

So firstly, you need to go to a doctor and speak about a prescription for the medication (not available OTC in Ireland), then I'd recommend abstaining from sex for at least a week, if not two. Get the STI test as well, just to be sure. As Neyite said, it's free in many places around the country.

LegacyUser

Would I be right in saying your reluctance to go to the doctor or STI Clinic is down to embarrassment? Really, if you are mature enough to be in a long term sexually active relationship then you should be able to sit with your GP and discuss your health. Do you have regular smear tests? Once you become sexually active you should be having regular smear tests. There is nothing you can talk to your doctor about that will shock him/her. There is nothing you will say to them that they haven't heard hundreds of times before and probably even a number of times that day!

Your bf is being sensible about his and your sexual health. There is absolutely no reason for you to avoid looking after yourself too.

Greenduck

Hi OP,

I can completely sympathise with your situation! Anything relating to sexual health can be such a sensitive issue for both parties. Thrush is a complete B***h. It is so uncomfortable for everyone involved and its side effects are often worse than an STD!

In my experience, because of the bad side affects, it can panic people into oblivion. Its natural to think it could be something worse than what it is. I think this situation needs to be handled maturely. Try and understand his point of view (esp if he has never had it before!!). Hes all well and good and then when you have sex this happens. Its going to be a natural reaction to be concerned.

Getting a full sexual health screen will only serve to put both your minds at ease. I think every couple should get one when they 1st get together just so it causes no problems down the line! It will also be good for a medical professional to explain to him how thrush works and what do when you get it so you can avoid any arguments or stress in the future!

If you think it is expensive you should weigh up what the alternative could be. Some STDs like Chlamydia can cause infertility and can go unknown for many years before they are detected. I think I'd rather pay the few bob and have peace of mind!

Dellnum

I think that if your b/f is going for an STD test then you should too. If he gets a test and it comes back clear then he will begin to worry that you have an STD so why not do the sensible thing and get cleared for once and for all.

Emme

Both of you should have a full STI screen to ensure it is definitely Candida (thrush). Go to the doctor and get advice on whether to hold off sex until the thrush is cleared. You may both be given medication to clear it as it's a fungal infection. You may also be advised to stick to a special diet to stop the thrush coming back. If your boyfriend is a big beer drinker it won't help his thrush.

I got thrush a few times when I wasn't in a relationship - I got it from taking antibiotics. Antibiotics wipe out the good bacteria in your gut and allow Candida to thrive. If you are getting thrush from each other perhaps your are both a bit run down. Ask the doctor if you both should take a course of probiotics to help repopulate the good bacteria in your gut.

laserlad2010

Another suggestion for him would be to wear his foreskin retracted - it'll be uncomfortable at first but hardens the underlying skin to reduce the chances of candida occurring. Also, creams keep a moist environment which encourages candida. Canesten powder is a good option.

Teafor two12345

Well so long as you are certain you are both getting it from each other and not from a third source condoms etc should protect you.

I would suggest no sex until you are both clear. And then condoms. I think the passing back and two of things like this is more common than people think. So condoms for the win :-)

I hope you both get better too that's the main thing! All the best :-)

irishgirl19

Doc can take a swab to confirm its thrush. They can also prescribe an oral tablet that can only be got on prescription. Its hard enough to get rid of once it takes a hold. I find the canesten 500mg pessary was the best. Just use it for one night and you can get it any pharmacy

Addle

I've seen over the counter tests in boots-maybe a compromise?

mud

Go and get sorted by a professional. Not only is this your health it's your partner's too. I'd be like an absolute divil if someone I was seeing didn't care enough about themselves or me to get well again.

beks101

GP visit, swab test then an overnight pessary and/or oral pill and abstain from sex for at least a fortnight. Make sure he gets GP treatment too. And STI test for both of you, no harm to get tested regularly anyway.

Also worth investing in a daily probiotic and multi-vitamin and cutting down on sugar/yeast (google anti-candida diet), I find it helps hugely to keep thrush at bay. It's a b1tch to get rid of when you're run down.

mud

Also, look into free STI clinics. I've never paid for check-ups and really they are part and parcel of a responsible sex life. Totally anonymous and very thorough.