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To Respond or Ignore

  • 30-10-2015 9:54pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So this is going to be the silliest most pedantic thing thats been on in here in a long while but Im stuck as who to turn to for advice.

    I dont know if this makes a differences but Im in my early 20s. I was on a night out recently with a friend, she was busy flirting with someone so I decided to chat to people; I ended up chatting to some guy for a while, and it turned out we had a few things in common, he asked for a kiss so I decided why not. Drunken me sillily agreed to swap numbers and facebooks-something I have never done before. I actually told him I never give people numbers/fb but I definitely would with him. Im not going to lie we got on got quite well and it did seem a good idea at the time.

    Sober me the following day realised this was a bad idea and not something I wanted. The guy had texted me very early that morning, sent me a friend request on fb and sent me a message on fb too. As awful as this sounds, I know Im no trophy either, but he just isnt goodlooking at all, I dont know him but it just seems unlikely he would ever get someone to swap numbers with him...and I just feel like I got his hopes up high and now Im a 2 faced cow having changed my mind, especially having been so enthusiastic the previous night about staying in contact. I feel so guilty, I dont know if I should ignore the text/fb message/friend request or reply and tell him Im not interested anymore?


Comments

  • #2
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,321 ✭✭✭santana75


    Be honest and direct with him. You may think you're sparing his feelings by ignoring him, but that'll be more hurtful than honesty. Just say, I was a bit drunk the other night, sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, Im just not interested. And leave it at that. You've been truthful and straight up, nobody is gonna have any problem with that.


  • #3
    Teafor two12345
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 410 ✭✭Teafor two12345


    He probably will get it if you just ignore anyway. But it's more respectful to be clear I think. Tell him straight out no. Be clear. Do it kindly but be perfectly clear.


  • #4
    beyondbelief67
    Registered Users Posts: 550 ✭✭✭beyondbelief67


    Why don't you try chatting to him now your sober ?
    Just because you don't think he's good looking, looks fade personality doesn't it's forever ?
    So maybe look past the outer surface and you never know, he might be a real gem of a guy ?


  • #5
    Teafor two12345
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 410 ✭✭Teafor two12345


    beyondbelief67 wrote: »
    Why don't you try chatting to him now your sober ?
    Just because you don't think he's good looking, looks fade personality doesn't it's forever ?
    So maybe look past the outer surface and you never know, he might be a real gem of a guy ?

    He's not, didn't you read her first post? That WOULD be unfair. She is not attracted to him. Plenty of fish in the sea for both of them.

    You know first off whether or not you are attracted to someone.

    He probably wants a woman who is attracted.

    She shouldn't feel she has to give a chance to a guy who is not physically for her. And if he has any self esteem he wouldn't want that anyway.

    Plenty of good looking guys with a gem of a personality too.

    She should be true to her needs and what she wants. You have to be true to your desires. She shouldn't feel bad for that.


  • #6
    beyondbelief67
    Registered Users Posts: 550 ✭✭✭beyondbelief67


    Teafor two12345 wrote: »
    He's not, didn't you read her first post? That WOULD be unfair. She is not attracted to him. Plenty of fish in the sea for both of them.

    You know first off whether or not you are attracted to someone.

    He probably wants a woman who is attracted.

    She shouldn't feel she has to give a chance to a guy who is not physically for her. And if he has any self esteem he wouldn't want that anyway.

    Plenty of good looking guys with a gem of a personality too.

    She should be true to her needs and what she wants. You have to be true to your desires. She shouldn't feel bad for that.

    I did read the first post yes ! She says she only spoke to him when she was drunk ? So maybe if she were to speak to him in person while sober, she will see he's a nice guy ?
    Looks aren't the only thing that attracts a person ! Charisma, the mind, the way the person speaks, laughs, lots of things can be found attractive and attract a person !
    Yes good looking people can be a gem too but as the old saying goes a rosey Apple can be rotten inside and very often is ! But hey was simply offering advice but upto the op at the end of the day !


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  • #7
    Teafor two12345
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 410 ✭✭Teafor two12345


    beyondbelief67 wrote: »
    I did read the first post yes ! She says she only spoke to him when she was drunk ? So maybe if she were to speak to him in person she will see he's a nice guy ?
    Looks aren't the only thing that attracts a person ! Charisma, the mind, the way the person speaks, laughs, lots of things can be found attractive and attract a person !
    Yes good looking people can be a gem too but as the old saying goes a rosey Apple can be rotten inside and very often is ! But hey was simply offering advice but upto the op at the end of the day !

    A nice guy is not enough.

    Looks and personality both have to be there for me.

    I am just saying what i would do myself.

    And if he was a nice guy I would not want to lead him on.


  • #8
    ColeTrain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭ColeTrain


    Just ignore would be my advice, he will get the message. You don't owe him a big explanation, relax you only met him once.


  • #9
    Teafor two12345
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 410 ✭✭Teafor two12345


    ColeTrain wrote: »
    Just ignore would be my advice, he will get the message. You don't owe him a big explanation, relax you only met him once.

    He will get the message. It is nice to just be straight though. You're right she owes him nothing. I still think it's respectful though.


  • #10
    ColeTrain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭ColeTrain


    Teafor two12345 wrote: »
    He will get the message. It is nice to just be straight though. You're right she owes him nothing. I still think it's respectful though.

    Don't get me wrong, it probably isn't the most respectful way to handle it. I just think it's easier though and saves the hassle/awkwardness of any back and forth exchanges. Especially seeing as they only met once, it would be different if they had met up a few times.


  • #11
    Teafor two12345
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 410 ✭✭Teafor two12345


    ColeTrain wrote: »
    Don't get me wrong, it probably isn't the most respectful way to handle it. I just think it's easier though and saves the hassle/awkwardness of any back and forth exchanges. Especially seeing as they only met once, it would be different if they had met up a few times.

    I can understand that. :-)


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