Where in the sibling order do you come, and how do you think it has affected you?

Snotaul Goodman

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

You are the female version of me...sort of :pac:

It sounds like it!

Does it weigh heavily on you knowing they worry about you?

I was working somewhere dangerous for a while, and I was really aware of the strain it put on the family, even though they were supportive. They've all worked in worse places, so couldn't get away with boycotting the idea.

The Randy Riverbeast

Im not just the only child but I#m currently the only grandchild. Luckily I haven ****ed up massively but I do feel sorry for any future cousins. I'll be that cousin that the grandparents talk about how great they're doing and why aren't you doing that.

Rubberlegs

I'm the eldest of two by 6.5 yrs. I can't say I remember feeling any pressure as such, being the eldest. I can remember the disgust I felt at clearly getting less presents at Christmas! Also having to bring my sister around with me as a teenager, I had her threatened to within an inch of her life if she ratted on me for smoking. A lot of the time I'd not have been home as she was growing up, I had a child at 20 and moved out by 21. I was probably an example of what not to do:). We are great friends now anyway, in contact every day, and live a short drive from each other, so I don't think either of us were too badly scarred by our place in the family

lazeedaisy

Candie wrote: »

As the youngest I often turn to my older siblings for advice. After reading some of the replies I'm kind of worried that they might think I'm burdening them or expecting them to figure things out for me.

I think I'll have a talk with them and make sure they're okay with me leaning on them sometimes. I'd hate to think they resent it.

I would do anything for my younger brother, would never resent him for looking for advice,

It's nice to have someone to turn to, it's something I don't have,

73Cat

73Cat wrote: »

I'm the eldest of two by 6.5 yrs. I can't say I remember feeling any pressure as such, being the eldest. I can remember the disgust I felt at clearly getting less presents at Christmas! Also having to bring my sister around with me as a teenager, I had her threatened to within an inch of her life if she ratted on me for smoking. A lot of the time I'd not have been home as she was growing up, I had a child at 20 and moved out by 21. I was probably an example of what not to do:). We are great friends now anyway, in contact every day, and live a short drive from each other, so I don't think either of us were too badly scarred by our place in the family

When sisters are close, there's no friendship closer. My sister gave me a fridge magnet with the corny 'A sister is a forever friend' line on it, and it's true.

When sisters don't get along, it can reach an epic level of acrimony though!

tomwaterford

Candie wrote: »

When sisters are close, there's no friendship closer. My sister gave me a fridge magnet with the corny 'A sister is a forever friend' line on it, and it's true.

When sisters don't get along, it can reach an epic level of acrimony though!

This is true...as close as I'd be with my sisters.....it's nothing compared to how close they are

And I see my mother and the aunts they kill each other

Candie

Candie wrote: »

As the youngest I often turn to my older siblings for advice. After reading some of the replies I'm kind of worried that they might think I'm burdening them or expecting them to figure things out for me.

I think I'll have a talk with them and make sure they're okay with me leaning on them sometimes. I'd hate to think they resent it.

Works both ways in my family. You would know straight away that the for of us are siblings just by looking at us. We all act and sound the same despite the age difference but we are all very different people. My sisters often get mistaken for twins even though there is 6 years between them. The younger sister isn't too impressed when that happens

They often come to me for advice and vise versa. We wreck each others heads a lot but we are a close family so thats how we function. Its great having them there when needed and I like to think that its great that any of them can come to me if needed. You're far from a burden on them. They probably need you just as much as you need them. You just don't realize it.

Candie wrote: »

It sounds like it!

Does it weigh heavily on you knowing they worry about you?

I was working somewhere dangerous for a while, and I was really aware of the strain it put on the family, even though they were supportive. They've all worked in worse places, so couldn't get away with boycotting the idea.

Not as much anymore as I get older. I worry about them too. We all have our fair share of problems in this family but nothing we can't handle.

Stepping Stone

Oldest. I am the sensible, boring and quiet one. Always worked hard and did well. There was always pressure at home though. I was always the one who was given responsible jobs at a young age and was help accountable for everything. The youngest is my polar opposite. Lazy, selfish, unmotivated...don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces but he would break your heart. He never thinks if anyone else and cos he is so lazy he just about scrapes by financially. He dropped out of college and would be at home with my parents now if my mother hadn't finally decided that he needed the treatment at 20 that I got at 10. There are still things that he isn't trusted to do, like loading the dishwasher. I do feel sorry for him cos he was always spoiled and always got away with murder til he annoyed my parents with his attitude too much.

bee06

Candie wrote: »

As the youngest I often turn to my older siblings for advice. After reading some of the replies I'm kind of worried that they might think I'm burdening them or expecting them to figure things out for me.

I think I'll have a talk with them and make sure they're okay with me leaning on them sometimes. I'd hate to think they resent it.

I personally love when my younger siblings as me for advice. Usually it would be my youngest sister. As someone else said, I'd do anything for them so would never resent it. I would ask them for advice as well because there is some stuff they know better.

One eyed Jack

The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »

Im not just the only child but I#m currently the only grandchild. Luckily I haven ****ed up massively but I do feel sorry for any future cousins. I'll be that cousin that the grandparents talk about how great they're doing and why aren't you doing that.

You're after reminding me, my mother used constantly compare me to my cousin who is the same age as me -

"Ohh Assumpta is doing this now, Assumpta is doing that now, Assumpta is doing the other how". Basically - "You're going to have to do better so I can have something to boast about" :pac:


I fcuked up massively though (90's, very hazy ) :pac:

bee06

bee06 wrote: »

I personally love when my younger siblings as me for advice. Usually it would be my youngest sister. As someone else said, I'd do anything for them so would never resent it. I would ask them for advice as well because there is some stuff they know better.

I just texted the oldest:

'Am I a pain in the arse when I lean on you or ask for advice?' and he texted me back

'You're a pain in the arse generally but don't stop leaning or asking, it makes me feel important'.

RentDayBlues

Eldest of 6, there's only 7 years between me and the youngest. It was very hard, I had a lot put on my young shoulders that shouldn't have been, combination of being a girl and a very immature mother. Next 2 to me were boys and the difference in general treatment and level of expectations was huge, my brothers got away with stuff I would never have been allowed think about!

It made me grow up far too quickly, but I'm a very responsible, successful adult and I'm set on making sure my two are treated equally, so I have to check myself when I start to say "you're the oldest. . . . ."

Fluffy Cat 88

Oldest.

There's a massive 6, 9 and 10 year gap between me and my siblings.

Loved being the only kid, hated when the babies ruined everything and stole my thunder! We all get along well enough nowadays but I feel like I'm a generation ahead of them.

Any kind of socialising with them in-tow amounted to crying/sh1tty nappies etc so I retreated to friends houses and grandparents for most of my childhood. I gave family-time the shove for a good few years.

Oddly I'm closer to the 9 year's younger one than the rest of them!

It made me independent - definitely! Started working young and never asked for anything. The younger ones thought nothing of asking for £100 runners etc!

Turtyturd

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You're after reminding me, my mother used constantly compare me to my cousin who is the same age as me -

"Ohh Assumpta is doing this now, Assumpta is doing that now, Assumpta is doing the other how". Basically - "You're going to have to do better so I can have something to boast about" :pac:


I fcuked up massively though (90's, very hazy ) :pac:

We used to get similar comparisons as a guilt trip. 'Such and such can go out and their kids will clean the house, or they can send their kids off to do the shopping.'

A quick mention of the pocket money the same kids got usually put a stop to the conversation.

AppleBottle

I'm the middle child but I am the only girl. I think that my younger brother gets away with a lot more stuff than myself and my older brother and my mam has more sympathy with the younger one.

Carry

Candie wrote: »

As the youngest I often turn to my older siblings for advice. After reading some of the replies I'm kind of worried that they might think I'm burdening them or expecting them to figure things out for me.

I think I'll have a talk with them and make sure they're okay with me leaning on them sometimes. I'd hate to think they resent it.

Ah no, don't think that, if you refer to my comment about my kid brother.

There is always a personal background. In my case our mother died when I was 14 and he was 9. Being in the role of a carer at this age can create a lot of resentment. If my mother lived on my brother and I might have had a stronger, certainly a more equal bond.

You seem to be very blessed with your family situation. Be grateful (here's me again giving unwanted advice :rolleyes:). But you give the impression that you know that.

But never forget that older siblings occasionally want a shoulder to cry on as well ...

I want an older sister now.

(knowing my roving (late) dad, there might as well be one half-sister around)

Azalea

Nah Candie, my older brothers are happy to advise - and lecture! :pac:

Interesting thread!

LionelNashe

Candie wrote: »

In my family there were two boys and two girls, and I am the youngest by a gap of 9.5 years. Yes, I was a lovely surprise.

The big age gap meant that I had no one to play Barbie or My Little Pony with me, though there was no shortage of Lego playmates. Still isn't.

I was also pretty indulged and maybe over protected, only not just by my parents but also the three older siblings. I felt this the hardest when I went away to university, and felt the collective anxiety of five adults worrying that I'd cope, followed by years of spontaneous weekend visitors, and checking up phone calls disguised as quick hellos. This got many times worse after I had a serious illness, and has only recently simmered down a little.

One positive effect I think the large gap in ages has had is that I've always been comfortable with older people and now at 28, I've friends of all ages from contemporaries and younger, to 65 and older. I've never been intimidated working with older colleagues in the way I've seen some be, and maybe that's a result too.

How about you? Youngest, middle, eldest or only, how do you think you've been affected by your birth order?

I knew you were the youngest from the title of the thread, without even opening it

LionelNashe

LionelNashe wrote: »

I knew you were the youngest from the title of the thread, without even opening it

Well, don't tease me, how did you deduce that?

Do you think all youngest kids have a special chip on their shoulder?!

Fluffy Cat 88

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You're after reminding me, my mother used constantly compare me to my cousin who is the same age as me -

"Ohh Assumpta is doing this now, Assumpta is doing that now, Assumpta is doing the other how". Basically - "You're going to have to do better so I can have something to boast about" :pac

I fcuked up massively though (90's, very hazy ) :pac:

Oh Gawd! I used to be constantly compared to my cousin too - you just feckin reminded me!

She's a year older than me and I got the whole:

"Aine got honours in the inter-cert, she studies 237 hours every night"

"Aine goes to bed at 8.30pm even on Saturdays"

Then Aine would stay with us for a few weeks every summer and tell my Ma how feckless lil me would have to pull up her socks etc and they'd start picking on me, telling me how I needed to "grow up" etc

Then we reached the late teens, the early 20's and Angelic-Aine turned into a nymphomaniac, jumping onto any male with a pulse!

That shut my Ma up!

JupiterKid

Youngest of 3 by 5 years. Spoiled rotten by my parents. My next sibling to me in age (5 years older) tends to fuss over me.

Fluffy Cat 88

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

Oh Gawd! I used to be constantly compared to my cousin too - you just feckin reminded me!

There's a few posts here that remind me of this:

Sleepy

Eldest of three, both parents were the babies in their families so I was expected to set the standard for behaviour, school etc. I was a bright enough kid so straight A's were the expectation rather than something to celebrate. Personality wise I'm more left of centre than either of the others, my sister's just under two years younger and she's far more mainstream and would still be the "nicest" of us. Baby brother is another 5 years younger and we all spoiled him rotten. It worked though. He's the best of us by a mile and the one who lives his life exactly as he wants to, something I notice a lot in people who were the youngest in their families: parents relax a bit about letting them chase their dreams and are often in a better place financially then they were with older siblings to support those dreams. Maybe it's a feature of our family in that my parents were skint when myself and my sister were small but Dad had been promoted a few times by the time the youngest hit his early teens so whereas I never even thought to ask my parents for the money to go on school tours abroad etc (I thought they were for the rich kids and hadn't realised that while my parents weren't loaded, they weren't exactly poor any more). The youngest just had to ask for things and he'd get them, tbh, it's always amazed me he didn't take more advantage of it (probably one of the reasons I'd still say he's the best of us).

Carry

Carry wrote: »

You seem to be very blessed with your family situation. Be grateful (here's me again giving unwanted advice :rolleyes:). But you give the impression that you know that.

Not at all with the unwanted.

I am blessed with them, and thinking about it I have helped them out sometimes so it's not all one way. I even worked with one of them on project once, and it was an eye opener for both of us to see each other operate on a professional level.

I think I'll always be the baby to them though, and that's okay really.

PARlance

Oldest of 4 (boys) for 21 years of my life. Then became the oldest of 5, a surprise Sister to soften us all up.

She's practically an only child though. My youngest brother was in transition year when she was born so she has grown up for most of her life with her 4 brothers on the other side of the world, or country in my case. Quite hard on her and us to a lesser extent.

I'm fairly sure I could identify an eldest child within a short while of meeting them more often than not. I think it's easy enough to identify one in general. We're dry sh1tes with a little bit more sense/seriousness usually. Spent a lot of my youth parenting my younger brothers.

Youngest brother is probably the most well rounded character of the lot.

Rob2D

What's a sibling? :pac:

Only child here. Plus my parents worked a lot so I was a latchkey kid and had the house to myself after school. I enjoyed the quiet and being able to do whatever I wanted more or less.

As such, it has affected me in a way that, now at 27, I can't stand to stay in any house with other people/too much noise. Not for any long period of time anyway.

Interesting how these things shape us.

Azalea

Azalea wrote: »

Nah Candie, my older brothers are happy to advise - and lecture! :pac:

Interesting thread!

I get lectured too! Thought my ear would fall off recently I got lectured so much after dislocating my elbow in a fall. It's just worry, I don't blame them. I'm always having accidents (though never in the car, touch wood).

I have to say I'm finding the answers really interesting here.

Gaygooner

4th child of 7. Middle child syndrome certainly!!! 3 brothers and 3 sisters!
I'm the outspoken loud one. Not afraid to challenge the status quo, or put my head above the parapet. And cos middle children are often overlooked - they are accused of being attention seeking! So I became a gay!

Now that's so accepted I need to find something else!!! Lolz

Brains? Considered brainy and intelligent with poor social skills (hello boards!) and not blessed in the old looks department. But my caustic wit and massuf cock brings the boys to my yard! 😝😜😂

Oh yeah, Sicikly child, eyepatch all that jazz. Brain surgery isn't all that attention seeking when it's life saving but boy did I milk it!!! Manual Labour??? Points to head- brain surgery!!!!

One eyed Jack

I'll never forget one childhood memory where my father took us all to some agricultural show in the 80's, I was definitely about 7 at the time but I don't know if it was the Spring Show if it had started back then? But myself and the other four brothers (the youngest brother (fifth) was still in a buggy), so my father bought the rest of my brothers all toy tractors and stuff, and I didn't ask for anything. I didn't have any interest in tractors.

As we're walking out of the grounds, does anyone else remember "mad balls"?

I begged my father to let me get one, the yellow skull one, I called him "Skully" (because I had no imagination whatsoever!), and I used talk to him... and now I remember what happened to him... my brother used him as a sliotar and pucked him away and I could never find him again :mad:

Started off a nice memory anyway, no wonder I wiped it :pac:


I don't actually remember my youngest brother in the house as a baby, but I remember us waving up at my mother from the car when she went into hospital to have him, I was about five at the time and had no clue it was actually a hospital, I only kinda registered "brothers", when I was about 10, I was always a bit slow on the uptake

This is a very interesting thread. Some posters experiences are very close to home. I mentioned before that myself and the siblings are very close. There is a reason for that and its because we have best mother and father that anyone could ask for. Well its only the mother now. Unfortunately we lost Dad last year. My mothers side of the family is huge. Dads side not so much. From my mothers side I have a few cousins who I would class as siblings. I'm 26 and some are closer to 50 rather than 26. They grew up in our house. One mentioned in his wedding speech that he came to stay with my mother for 2 weeks back in the early 90's and left 6 years later. I consider myself lucky that way. At my fathers funeral, it was your typical widow/sons/daughters/grand kids/brothers/sisters/a nephew and niece around the coffin. It finished with the aforementioned plus 8 or 9 cousins (from the mothers side) around the coffin shaking hands and sympathizing with people like it was their own father lying there. Took the poor mourners ages to pass through! :pac: So biologically I have 3 brothers and sisters but realistically I have about 12 of them. All either a phone call or a quick spin away

Edit: I'm the baby of that whole generation too so... :pac:

I'm really sorry for your loss SG.

Carry

Candie wrote: »

I have to say I'm finding the answers really interesting here.

Indeed. I rarely post on boards (I'm more of a reader), but this one is really interesting and kind of personal in a good way.
Thanks for that, candie baby

By the way it shows that you are the baby of the family: laid-back, open-minded, socially adept, secure of yourself. Apparantly spoilt.

And I mean that in a good, though slightely envious way, as the oldest in the peck order.
(You know, pecking can be hard work ...)

Candie

Candie wrote: »

I'm really sorry for your loss SG.

Thanks Candie. I appreciate that. I didn't post that looking for sympathy or anything but just to give a rough insight on what my family are like. We had two cousins brothers who have their own families/responsibilities/lives come down to us for a night out last night. Its rare that happens these days. Myself, the brother and one of the sisters were out. The other sister lives in Dublin so she was sickened that she couldn't make it. I hope its not just me who has a different definition for the word sibling

Carry

Carry wrote: »

Indeed. I rarely post on boards (I'm more of a reader), but this one is really interesting and kind of personal in a good way.
Thanks for that, Candy baby

By the way it shows that you are the baby of the family: laid-back, open-minded, socially adept, secure of yourself. Apparantly spoilt.

And I mean that in a good, though slightely envious way, as the oldest in the peck order.
(You know, pecking can be hard work ...)

It's funny you know, I've always envied the eldest's assurance and his equilibrium, he's just so together and I respect him so much as a person. He really is such a great guy and I always wanted the best of his traits.

It's never once occurred to me that he might think I had traits worth having, until today. I'm so glad everyone shared their insights, including you Carry. You should post more often.

The two eldest have confirmed that they think I turned out decent enough, and that I'm not a pest, even though I am a pest.

I really think the world of my siblings, I'm glad I told them that.

Gaygooner

I love my siblings too. My eldest brother is the strong silent sensible no bs type.
My sister, the eldest, is very self centred and resentful of others fortune, but she has been bailed out by my parents the most.

Middle 3 are all sound

Then there's the youngest, mad as a brush with a very devil may care attitude to life- very alpha male, we don't get on - he doesn't like me, I just think he's immature

Snotaul Goodman

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

Thanks Candie. I appreciate that. I didn't post that looking for sympathy or anything but just to give a rough insight on what my family are like. We had two cousins brothers who have their own families/responsibilities/lives come down to us for a night out last night. Its rare that happens these days. Myself, the brother and one of the sisters were out. The other sister lives in Dublin so she was sickened that she couldn't make it. I hope its not just me who has a different definition for the word sibling

I think it sounds really lovely.

I've two cousins that are like siblings, one lives quite near me and I see him a lot, he eats my food and relegates me to an Aerobed when he's staying (he's a huge guy, I'm tiny, so I let him have the real bed) and he keeps me awake with his xbox and his snoring, but I love him like a brother and best friend combined and I'd be lost without him.

I'm just going to text him too and tell him he's great.

ETA I know you weren't looking for sympathy, just giving context. It's a lovely family you have.

Galwayguy35

I'm the youngest, have one older brother.

Grew up on a farm, my brother left school at 15 to run it when my father got into bad health.

Nothing he did on the farm seemed to be right for my father and I guess that would wear you down as a teenager.

He was always the level headed one while I went off the rails in my 20s due to alcohol addiction which led to a lot of rows between us even turning physical on one occasion.

I came out the other side in time though and now as we both enter middle age we get on ok, wouldn't be as close as other posters are with their siblings but we still have each others back when needed.

Galwayguy35

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I'm the youngest, have one older brother.

Grew up on a farm, my brother left school at 15 to run it when my father got into bad health.

Nothing he did on the farm seemed to be right for my father and I guess that would wear you down as a teenager.

He was always the level headed one while I went off the rails in my 20s due to alcohol addiction which led to a lot of rows between us even turning physical on one occasion.

I came out the other side in time though and now as we both enter middle age we get on ok, wouldn't be as close as other posters are with their siblings but we still have each others back when needed.

That in itself is worth its weight in gold. I have friends who wouldn't give their brother/sister the time of day for pathetic (that I'm aware of) reasons.

Candie

Candie wrote: »

I think it sounds really lovely.

I've two cousins that are like siblings, one lives quite near me and I see him a lot, he eats my food and relegates me to an Aerobed when he's staying (he's a huge guy, I'm tiny, so I let him have the real bed) and he keeps me awake with his xbox and his snoring, but I love him like a brother and best friend combined and I'd be lost without him.

I'm just going to text him too and tell him he's great.

ETA I know you weren't looking for sympathy, just giving context. It's a lovely family you have.

My first post here was comparing the similarities which was weird. Looks like you have a great bunch too

NachoBusiness

Two older brothers and a younger sister. No idea how it effected me. Sister is autistic and so (que violins) our parents had their hands full to much to notice things like my brother making me hit myself over and over or using me as an obstacle to jump with his Raleigh Burner in the back garden. I kinda liked having to fend for myself as a kid though. I got to walk home alone while others were picked up. Course this made me easy pickings for bullies. You know, now that I think about it, I had a rough childhood. Perhaps I should talk to someone about it. Other than my imaginary friend Nathan I mean, who come to mention it, is responsible for at least half my posts.

PandaPoo

Candie wrote: »

In my family there were two boys and two girls, and I am the youngest by a gap of 9.5 years. Yes, I was a lovely surprise.
?

Wow, very similar here. 2 boys and 2 girls, I was adopted though and the youngest by 11 years. I was the only one that was adopted, and I was spoiled rotten.
My eldest brother is 20 years older than me, and we're the closest. My sister always tried to parent me and would tell my mam everything I got up to, so I couldn't talk to her.

I still feel that nobody thinks of me as an adult, I'll always be the baby even though I have more sense than all 3 of them together. I got married at 24 and have two kids, and my sister hates that she's so much older and we did things at the same time.

I think having siblings that are so much older really made me mature quicker. I feel like I'm their age!!

PandaPoo

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

That in itself is worth its weight in gold. I have friends who wouldn't give their brother/sister the time of day for pathetic (that I'm aware of) reasons.

I haven't spoken to one of my brothers in years, I'll probably never speak to him again. We were great friends years ago, but there's just no going back now.

It's unfortunate but these things happen.

PandaPoo

PandaPoo wrote: »

I think having siblings that are so much older really made me mature quicker. I feel like I'm their age!!

I think that might be a thing with me too, or maybe I just feel more comfortable with older people.

beks101

Middle child, with a seriously ill older sister that somewhat tainted things.

Middle child fade-into-the-background syndrome combined with all the responsibilities of an eldest sibling, which never really sat comfortably with me. I begrudgingly led the way for my youngest sibling and learned to be independent and to do things on my own from a young age. Even to this day, I have to be reminded to get over myself and ask for help when the sh1t hits the fan.

I had a very privileged childhood all the same and I guess my sister's illness impressed the value of family on me in a way that makes them more important than pretty much anything else in my life. As much as it used to annoy me, it's nothing but a blessing to be able to go home to Galway and fold right back into that dynamic, where my parents still see me as this smart, reliable 12 year old and my younger sister thinks I'm a rockstar.

The Sidewards Man

Im a half twin, its tough.

Mackman

Youngest of 2 by 5 years. My brother was never burdened by being the responsible one, he gave my parents an awful time when he was a teenager. Dropped out of school at 17, bounced around for a while. He's settled down now, married with kids etc.

I was an angel compared to him. Never did drugs, never got into trouble. My brother says I'm too sensible for my own good, he's right too. I never take risks. He took them all. We always got on well though, still do, He used to let me hang around with him because I never ratted on anything he did

I think because of his exploits, my parents ambitions fell onto me, so I went to college and was pushed to study hard and do well. Which is a bit tough, because I never reached the heights they expected of me.

Figbiscuithead

Youngest of 5 and got away with blue murder growing up that the others didn't to the point of unfairness and was also doted upon by them all except the next one up, who was very jealous of me stealing her thunder (we get along incredibly well now). My "eccentricities" were always forgiven and all the decisions I made were supported, even if they weren't the best idea.

Tbh, I'm probably the most selfish in the family and I always felt they were the adults, so were responsible for the serious family business. In fairness, my opinion wasn't taken very seriously growing up when we were all together and even now, I take a back seat when we're all together. I'm a good listener as a result.

3 of them moved away when I young and I became very self-reliant as a result, so I wouldn't be the typical youngest child in that respect. I don't ask them for help, though they worry about me sometimes when they really don't need to. In fact, over the years, I've been the one they've confided in and they've told me I'd be the wise one of the family, probably because I spent so much time alone and also with adults observing their comings and goings.

Interesting topic. Loads of studies prove your position in the family has an effect on your personality.

Whitewinged

Candie wrote: »

I think it sounds really lovely.

I've two cousins that are like siblings, one lives quite near me and I see him a lot, he eats my food and relegates me to an Aerobed when he's staying (he's a huge guy, I'm tiny, so I let him have the real bed) and he keeps me awake with his xbox and his snoring, but I love him like a brother and best friend combined and I'd be lost without him.

I'm just going to text him too and tell him he's great.

ETA I know you weren't looking for sympathy, just giving context. It's a lovely family you have.

My nephew is six and he is like a brother to my 3 year old.

She idolises him and he pretends not to care about her but loves her really. The other day he said that he loves his "little cousin" followed by "because she does anything I say and she's my slave".

She went over to him to show him a picture that she drew of him on her etch a sketch. Now she's 3 so it was just a stick figure. He took one look at it and said disgusted "Naked? You drew me naked?" Her little shoulders dropped and she said "oh ill draw myself then"

Fluffy Cat 88

I'm the eldest. I've one brother(3 years younger) I grew up with and two half siblings that grew up abroad.

I'm way more independent than my brother. Started working very young and was expected to provide for myself since then. My brother is seriously spoiled by my mother. Nothing he does is wrong! And he still lives at home.

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

It made me independent - definitely! Started working young and never asked for anything. The younger ones thought nothing of asking for £100 runners etc!

This!

Sleepy

Originally Posted by Fluffy Cat 88 wrote:

It made me independent - definitely! Started working young and never asked for anything. The younger ones thought nothing of asking for £100 runners etc!

You have to remember that for many posting here, our younger siblings were growing up during the Celtic Tiger years where our parents were suddenly paper millionaires as the houses they bought in the 70's/80's sky rocketed in value.

For those of us who grew up in the 80's, there was no point in asking your parents for such things as even if they didn't see they didn't have the money. When our younger siblings hit their teens in the late 90's however, our parents ship had come in and weekend shopping trips to New York weren't seen as being outlandish!