Our dog. Stay or no...

newwan

Hi
My fiance and i adopted a dog 6 months ago... Mainly her idea to help her her over a rough patch.

Weve tried our best to make it work. Moved house twice. Got plenty of lessons and take him to doggie day care. But he is becoming too much.

Hes a very energetic strong dog. Must be a lot of collie in him. My fiance really wanted a smallndog and hes now too strong for her. She doesnt love him. I run him rwice a day to calm him and used to enjoy it.

But twice now in the last couple weeks hes snarled at me and used his teeth on me. Not bite me but still gave me a shock. On both occasions we were just sitting on the couch. I didn't come at him or jump him or anything. Just went to pick him up as i do nightly for 7 months 4 to put him in his crate for bed...


So now im wondering what is the point anymore. I dont really know if the dog wants to be with us anymore or ever did. Hes just a ball of energy. Not directed at us. Just at anything that moves. Were only there to entertain. And now im a bit afraid to go near him...

Hes a beautiful dog. Never before showed aggression. Maybe it wasnt even aggression he showed me. Maybe im over reacting...

Are ww bad people for thinking of adopting him out to a better home or farm that would have more stimulation for him?
Our working 60+ hours per week does not help...

PucaMama

newwan wrote: »

Hi
My fiance and i adopted a dog 6 months ago... Mainly her idea to help her her over a rough patch.

Weve tried our best to make it work. Moved house twice. Got plenty of lessons and take him to doggie day care. But he is becoming too much.

Hes a very energetic strong dog. Must be a lot of collie in him. My fiance really wanted a smallndog and hes now too strong for her. She doesnt love him. I run him rwice a day to calm him and used to enjoy it.

But twice now in the last couple weeks hes snarled at me and used his teeth on me. Not bite me but still gave me a shock. On both occasions we were just sitting on the couch. I didn't come at him or jump him or anything. Just went to pick him up as i do nightly for 7 months 4 to put him in his crate for bed...


So now im wondering what is the point anymore. I dont really know if the dog wants to be with us anymore or ever did. Hes just a ball of energy. Not directed at us. Just at anything that moves. Were only there to entertain. And now im a bit afraid to go near him...

Hes a beautiful dog. Never before showed aggression. Maybe it wasnt even aggression he showed me. Maybe im over reacting...

Are ww bad people for thinking of adopting him out to a better home or farm that would have more stimulation for him?
Our working 60+ hours per week does not help...

Your thinking of his welfare and that doesn't make you bad. Not every dog fits into every home.

eviltwin

If it's not working out the dog needs to be rehomed. It's not good for you but he especially deserves a home that can cater to his needs. Please don't get another pet unless you are sure you can manage it. You adopt a dog for life, it's not something you do to get over something.

tk123

newwan wrote: »

But twice now in the last couple weeks hes snarled at me and used his teeth on me. Not bite me but still gave me a shock. On both occasions we were just sitting on the couch. I didn't come at him or jump him or anything. Just went to pick him up as i do nightly for 7 months 4 to put him in his crate for bed...


So now im wondering what is the point anymore. I dont really know if the dog wants to be with us anymore or ever did. Hes just a ball of energy. Not directed at us. Just at anything that moves. Were only there to entertain. And now im a bit afraid to go near him...

Hes a beautiful dog. Never before showed aggression. Maybe it wasnt even aggression he showed me. Maybe im over reacting...
..

You are overreacting. My dog and many others would do the same if you tried to lift them out of their sleep. Ever hear the phrase "let sleeping dogs lie"?

There's lots of things people can suggest training wise but it sounds like you're both fed up with having a dog so I'd agree you need to re-home him.

Did you get him from a rescue/adoption centre that will take him back or the pound?

Whispered

You said you got lessons, what did your trainer say about this new development?

To be honest it all sounds like training issues rather than your dog not suiting your home. It could still work well. If you want it to and get the right guidance.

newwan

More agression this morning trying to get him to go to day care which he loves... Im feeling v blue anout this

Whispered

newwan wrote: »

More agression this morning trying to get him to go to day care which he loves... Im feeling v blue anout this

Daycare is a very stressful environment for some dogs. There is obviously something going on with your dog and he needs some help or understanding to get to the bottom of it and change the behaviour. However I fear you've made your decision.
Again, what did your trainer say about the new behaviour?
What happened at daycare?

tk123

newwan wrote: »

More agression this morning trying to get him to go to day care which he loves... Im feeling v blue anout this

How did you try and get him to go - push him? Lift him? And how are you reacting when he asks you to back off? Also have you taken him to the vet to rule out anything medical? That's the first thing you should do when there's a change in behaviour.
Branding him as aggressive is unfair - especially if you're ignoring signs that the dog is incomforble to the point he's snapping to tell you to stop and especially if that's your excuse for rehoming him - it could give dog with a death sentence because it might be hard to find him a home for an 'aggressive dog'
My dog was extremely stressed out in daycare btw and I was always told 'he loves it'....He gets stressed in the car just passing the place now and he hasn't be there for years

deadlybuzzman

During the summer me and my wife adopted what we thought was a staffy, turns out she was an American Pitbull terrier that was still growing.
She was an absolute whirlwind, scratched doors,chewed door frames tore up and obliterated various things around the house and we thought we'd have to give her back as she was way way too full on.
Things changed then as we learned that on top of giving her lots of exercise she needed to learn to calm down too, we'd send her to her basket sort of like a bold step or hold out a snack but make her sit and wait until we said ok before she could come over and eat it.
Also she's in a brilliant doggie daycare where she spends a lot of the day running which obviously helps but even before that getting her to just slow down was the biggest thing.
I'm not surprised the dog snarled, I would too if I was sleeping! Just put a nice treat under her nose and she'll get up, I do it every night to Ger her to go to the toilet, no aggro no fuss and everyone is happy!

ihatewinter

What is the actual breed of dog. How much exercise and stimulation is she getting. Are you dragging or lifting her too rough when she is put in her crate. Do you over power her with interaction/in her face when to the point she has enough and you are not aware of the warning signs. A dog does not become aggressive over night. Is your wife giving out to her or shouting at her a lot. Some points to consider

cocker5

OP – you’re not very clear in your posting if im honest. You say you run him every day yet you work 60 hours plus per week..

There are many many ways you can work on making things work – if you really want to that’s it.

It seems like your other half got the dog on a whim and now your both fed up after only 6 months – that’s what I am getting from your post.

I’m going to be very honest and say “a dog is for life and all that” and if you actually put in some work the dog will adjust and fit in to your home.

You need to look at the following areas:

1. What are you feeding the dog?
Lots of dog food can cause a dog to be hyper and badly behaved – so by changing food this can help with behaviour

2. Exercise – honestly how much is the dog getting per day?
My cocker who nearly 11 (a working breed like a collie) he needs an hour at least per day and he’s getting old.
When he was younger due to him being very hyper we used to cycle him for 20 mins a days, there is a pole you can get for your bike –this helped massively relax him a bit

3. Stimulation?
Do you play with the dog? Give the dog a Kong to tire him out/chew toys.

4. You mentioned he is strong and too strong for your other half, what lead / collar are your using on him?
My cocker is a dreadful puller too – I got a really good head collar which stopped his pulling completely.

5. Waking him when he is sleeping – you should never wake a sleeping dog – it frightens them and their first reaction is to growl – you saying you’re afraid now is way OTT… call his name wake him up first before you go and move him (its common sense to be honest)

6. What breed is he, and approx what age?
Is he neutered?

If you can supply answers to all the questions above we can help you help this dog adjust into your family.

All I would say is OP getting a dog is a 15 year commitment and rehoming him whet her are 1,000’s of dog stuffed into rescue centres all over Ireland just isn’t fair on him when you haven’t addressed al the really issues.

All dogs take effort , constancy and persistence, if you put the effort in you will get huge returns from a dog – but it take some effort OP at least give the dog a chance.

aonb

Just from the dogs point of view:
OP if you and your partner have not bonded with this dog, then please please please consider the dog first and rehome it to someplace that you TRUST. At the very very very least you should consider having it put to sleep as a very last measure if you cannot rehome it. Its not the dogs fault that you have decided the dog is not for you. The dogs safety and wellbeing are now all that matters. I volunteer with a shelter, and every rescue/shelter/pound around here is packed to capacity with unwanted dogs at the moment. There was literally nowhere with a space to take a dog we were trying to rescue yesterday - and that was a cruelty case which would usually open a space someplace, even temporarily :mad:
Im sorry if mentioning PTS is offending to some people here, but there are so many dumped/unwanted dogs starving/abused around at the moment its heartbreaking. OP I am not suggesting for a minute that you would dump your dog, just letting you know that giving up a dog to a rescue/shelter/pound at the moment may not be an option...

cocker5

aonb wrote: »

Just from the dogs point of view:
OP if you and your partner have not bonded with this dog, then please please please consider the dog first and rehome it to someplace that you TRUST. At the very very very least you should consider having it put to sleep as a very last measure if you cannot rehome it. Its not the dogs fault that you have decided the dog is not for you. The dogs safety and wellbeing are now all that matters. I volunteer with a shelter, and every rescue/shelter/pound around here is packed to capacity with unwanted dogs at the moment. There was literally nowhere with a space to take a dog we were trying to rescue yesterday - and that was a cruelty case which would usually open a space someplace, even temporarily :mad:
Im sorry if mentioning PTS is offending to some people here, but there are so many dumped/unwanted dogs starving/abused around at the moment its heartbreaking. OP I am not suggesting for a minute that you would dump your dog, just letting you know that giving up a dog to a rescue/shelter/pound at the moment may not be an option...

But they have only had the dog 6 months.... my other half didn't really bond with our cocker til he was over a year and the craziness had relaxed a bit, due to us being proactive etc... now my OH is besotted with our dog... so IMO they haven't given the dog enough time, training or thought to even consider rehoming him after 6 months - its takes a long time to bond

IMO you cannot judge bonding with a dog in the space of 6 months

Milly33

Sounds like ye should have thought about it more sorry but animals arent play things you get to get over stuff that happens in life. I hope ye do re-home him sounds like ye have no interest in the pooch and his picking up on it..Stop delaying just rehome him... sorry but it is sad that people do crap like this

hardCopy

deadlybuzzman wrote: »

During the summer me and my wife adopted what we thought was a staffy, turns out she was an American Pitbull terrier that was still growing.
She was an absolute whirlwind, scratched doors,chewed door frames tore up and obliterated various things around the house and we thought we'd have to give her back as she was way way too full on.
Things changed then as we learned that on top of giving her lots of exercise she needed to learn to calm down too, we'd send her to her basket sort of like a bold step or hold out a snack but make her sit and wait until we said ok before she could come over and eat it.
Also she's in a brilliant doggie daycare where she spends a lot of the day running which obviously helps but even before that getting her to just slow down was the biggest thing.
I'm not surprised the dog snarled, I would too if I was sleeping! Just put a nice treat under her nose and she'll get up, I do it every night to Ger her to go to the toilet, no aggro no fuss and everyone is happy!

cocker5 wrote: »

But they have only had the dog 6 months.... my other half didn't really bond with our cocker til he was over a year and the craziness had relaxed a bit, due to us being proactive etc... now my OH is besotted with our dog... so IMO they haven't given the dog enough time, training or thought to even consider rehoming him after 6 months - its takes a long time to bond

IMO you cannot judge bonding with a dog in the space of 6 months

Our lad is 14 months old now and we've seen big changes in him since he hit the year mark. He was also castrated at around 10 months, not sure what had the bigger impact.

He's still nothing like the placid mannerly dogs I see in our estate but his energy levels are a lot more manageable and his self control is improving all the time. We've done lots of work getting him to sit and stay before he gets things he wants, like leaving the house, getting his dinner, opening the car boot. He seems better able to calm himself now.

I find he can tire himself out with an off lead run far more than I ever could by walking him, is that an option for you?

Does he get rewarded for going to bed? Our lad knows that bedtime means no more playing and no more people, not a happy time of day for him but it also means a slice of cheese and some peanut butter so he'll trot in himself once he sees me opening the peanut butter.

Choc Chip

hardCopy wrote: »

Our lad knows that bedtime means no more playing and no more people, not a happy time of day for him but it also means a slice of cheese and some peanut butter so he'll trot in himself once he sees me opening the peanut butter.

Mine is the same. Comatose all evening and then spinning in circles when bed time comes along because she knows she gets her chew when she goes to bed.

I wasn't sure what you meant when you said that you picked him up to go into the crate OP? If you just call him and throw a treat into his crate would he go himself and save any potential conflict re. lifting him?

Vancity

I'm with those who say you should exhaust all possibilities before trying to rehome him. We have had our dog a year now and honestly the first 6 months were really tough - she was 9 weeks old when we got her. Between the barking, biting, toilet training, destroying our clothes & shoes there were times when I just wanted to cry. We found it really hard to train her not to nip - we knew all puppies did it but ours did it for longer than most dogs do and she would draw blood a lot of the time. My legs were destroyed with scratches and bites. But now that we have gotten over the puppy stage we are literally obsessed with her. She makes us laugh every day and we adore her. These are my suggestions both to tire him out and help you bond;

1. Try a dog walker rather than daycare. Daycare isn't for every dog and some daycares are stressful environments. A dog walker who comes by the house and picks him up for a few hours would probably cost the same but might tire him out more than daycare which might just stress him out.

2. I know you work long hours but try forcing yourself to get up half an hour earlier to give him a longer walk in the morning. Our dog is always so happy after a long walk in the morning and she runs back into the house and passes out on the couch and is asleep before I'm gone to work.

3. Behavioural training - it's expensive but 2 or 3 sessions might show a huge improvement. Essentially all you need to do is stop the snarling/snapping and calm him down a little.

4. Off leash walks at the weekend if possible. Does he play Fetch? This is a brilliant game for tiring dogs out and it helps you bond.

5. Interactive toys - I've seen a gadget that you put 4 kongs into and it pops them out intermittently during the day for the dog to play with.

6. Hiding his food and making him find it - we love this game. It's hilarious watching her scurrying around the house glaring at us cos she knows it's close by but can't find it.

7. If he's not already neutered, get him neutered. Makes such a difference, especially in males!

8. Agility training? We haven't tried this yet but are thinking of it - if he's a collie mix he could excel at this and most dogs love it.

Anyway - I know a lot of those things cost money but sometimes it's just short term. He won't need training indefinitely and as he gets older he will naturally calm a little. Good luck

ShaShaBear

As the owner of a less than desirable collie type with more than his fair share of issues, you need to think long and hard about what you want to do here and what is best for the dog.
As others have said, you do not give nearly enough information for us to decide whether you are just handling it wrong, or whether you are simply not suitable owners for the dog.

People on here know me very, very well and know how I usually feel about re-homing dogs after such a short space of time. I can honestly tell you that myself and my OH seriously considered (to the point of practically having made a decision) to rehome our own collie not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times since we adopted him at 4 months of age. I was totally ashamed of myself at every turn, as it went against everything I believe in.

Opie has severe food aggression. When we adopted him, we thought it was just around other dogs (as we had a foster saluki in the house), but it turned out that we could not even LOOK in his direction when he ate. Now we can even walk right past him with our legs brushing his fur and he doesn't growl, although will probably never consent to a hand in the bowl. He will take treats gently from the hand which was impossible before.
Opie was extremely mouthy. He would snap and growl for apparently no reason, would use his teeth during play and greeting in ways that were not even normal puppy behaviour and bit both myself and my partner on more than one occasion. Extensive training on our part and the part of a very patient professional meant that he now greets with minimal oral enthusiasm, and directs his teeth to a ball for you to throw instead. We also pinpointed his fear of swift hand movements and being touched around his neck. We are still working on this, although he has learned to trust us and is far more gracious when we need to put his lead or harness on, or groom around his neck.
Opie, as a collie, simply would not settle, despite all of the exercise we gave him. What he was missing was mental stimulation. 2 litre bottles of coke with punctured holes full of dog food, frozen and stuffed kongs, makeshift agility training in our back garden and extensive trick training helped to tire his mind out. No different than needing to unwind and read a good book before bed - the mind is a muscle that dogs need to use too!

Opie is now 1.5 years old and is only starting to become what we envisaged when we took him in. That's right, it's taken over a year for us to even scrape the surface with his behaviour, and we are starting to bond properly with him as we see his natural goodness break through the issues he has. If we had given up on him 6 months ago, I can safely say he would have been put to sleep, as we never would have found a responsible and experienced owner willing to take on a dog with his issues. He likely would have ended up surrendered by someone with less patience than us and the warden wouldn't see him as any sort of a second-chance type of dog. Now we have a pet that only the brave of heart would consider adopting, but he would be considered nonetheless. We still have to keep him separate from my daughter at all times (she is allowed to pet him under strict supervision) for both their sakes and it will probably remain this way until she is old enough to understand his limitations and what is acceptable behaviour from her. But we are falling more and more in love with his dopey character, the way he does not chase his tail, but rather grabs it in his mouth and attempts to run in circles, the way he attacks smoke coming from the fireplace like its out to get all of us and the way he loves to encroach on your personal space simply by placing his wet, sticky nose as close as possible to your mouth without actually touching you or taking his four paws off the ground.

Long story short, either you are willing to put in this kind of effort or you are not. If you are not, then the dog deserves a better home.

Diane Selwyn

I'm no expert on this but wondering if the dog was a rescue? It's often hard to know what kind of experiences they have had in the past - when I was growing up we got a rescue dog that was very aggressive/fearful towards one of my brothers (and none of my other 3 brothers or anyone else in the family) but got over it after a few months.

You say your fiancee 'doesn't love' the dog but does she actually dislike him? The dog might be feeling pretty anxious about that. Also if she is going through a 'rough patch' perhaps she is actually stressing the dog out? I'm not sure what moving twice has to do with making him feel secure btw?

Also I notice you said that you 'run the dog' and you might be right about that suiting a Collie but my dog LOVES sniffing type walks - maybe just a bit of a more relaxed walk might help?

Whispered

Diane Selwyn wrote: »

Also I notice you said that you 'run the dog' and you might be right about that suiting a Collie but my dog LOVES sniffing type walks - maybe just a bit of a more relaxed walk might help?

Actually this is an excellent point. One of my boys is very highly strung and anxious. I spent the first 5 years of his life trying to exercise it out of him. I figured if I tired him out enough he'd feel better. All I was doing was raising his adrenaline and it wasn't getting a chance to drop again. We find now that a swim or a gentle walk offlead does so much more than a half hour running.

Ann22

You adopt a dog to help your partner over a rough patch? Bad idea for you and the poor dog.