No interest in dating

LegacyUser

Hi all

Im 30, single, attractive, with a good job and personality.
I was in a couple of LTRs one ending last year. In the meantime I have dated and had a couple of things for a few months. The last one ended 3 months ago.
Lately I just have no interest whatsoever in men or even sex, I'm getting a lot of flack from family and friends about finding someone. I've been asked out a couple of times but say no, I'm just not even bothered with going on dates. Is this normal? I'm happy on my own/with friends but have no interest in being in anything and literally can't see a time I will again.

Has anyone else had this happen? I always thought I wanted marriage/kids but now I just dont care

Thanks

Roselm

Nointerestatall wrote: »

Hi all

Im 30, single, attractive, with a good job and personality.
I was in a couple of LTRs one ending last year. In the meantime I have dated and had a couple of things for a few months. The last one ended 3 months ago.
Lately I just have no interest whatsoever in men or even sex, I'm getting a lot of flack from family and friends about finding someone. I've been asked out a couple of times but say no, I'm just not even bothered with going on dates. Is this normal? I'm happy on my own/with friends but have no interest in being in anything and literally can't see a time I will again.

Has anyone else had this happen? I always thought I wanted marriage/kids but now I just dont care

Thanks

As long as you're actually happy in your life and your lack of interest isn't due to depression or something then I can't see the problem.
It's your life afterall.
You might meet someone in the future you click with or you might not but either way, if you're happy, it's all good!

Hemerodrome

That's quite a common pattern, plenty of people go through phases of disinterest in relationships. I think though, it's often a defense mechanism, if you don't get involved you won't have to go through the hurt and stress of a breakup, you get tired of starting again so you don't even go on the first date. You then pass that off as " I'm too busy", "no interest", or whatever excuse you reach for, but underneath you do still have the same interest.
Is that where you are?

sozbox

Nointerestatall wrote: »

Hi all
...Is this normal?...Has anyone else had this happen? I always thought I wanted marriage/kids but now I just dont care

Thanks

It's absolutely normal. Happiness is different for everyone, what makes your family and friends happy is not necessarily the same thing that will you happy. Don't feel under pressure or different because of that.

Looking back, I've been at my happiest when single, which is the opposite of what people tell us, finding a partner is meant to provide fulfilment and happiness right?

Ignore others and follow your own path, if you meet someone you meet someone if you don't you don't, it doesn't really matter so long as you are enjoying your life.

iuil1999

You have loads of time for marriage and children. Don't stress yourself out over other people telling you that you should have met someone.
I'm the same. People keep telling me that they can't understand how I'm single but I'm not looking to meet someone just now. They think that's strange.

silverbolt

Nointerestatall wrote: »

Hi all

Im 30, single, attractive, with a good job and personality.
I was in a couple of LTRs one ending last year. In the meantime I have dated and had a couple of things for a few months. The last one ended 3 months ago.
Lately I just have no interest whatsoever in men or even sex, I'm getting a lot of flack from family and friends about finding someone. I've been asked out a couple of times but say no, I'm just not even bothered with going on dates. Is this normal? I'm happy on my own/with friends but have no interest in being in anything and literally can't see a time I will again.

Has anyone else had this happen? I always thought I wanted marriage/kids but now I just dont care

Thanks

Your coming down of relationships and finding yourself again. Your emotional and mental state isnt ready for it so your mind is just shutting itself down.

Yes its normal. Dont worry about what your family says, they are not living your life.

Enjoy the single life - but dont count yourself a spinster maid just yet. Tomorrow you might meet a guy who totally sweeps you off your feet. You never know.

LeeLooLee

I'm in exactly the same boat. I spent almost all my twenties in long term relationships and now I'm single at 30. Have dated a bit but in all honesty, I just can't be bothered. None of the men I've met match up to my ex at all (obviously things didn't work out there for various reasons, but he was very reliable, honest and trustworthy, all things that are important to me). I'm over the total heartbreak of the break-up and now I'm just feeling 'meh'.

I would also be considered attractive. I look young for my age and I've recently got really into fitness and healthy living. Pulled myself together after a period of depression and am starting my own business and writing a book. My focus seems to finally be on me and improving myself - things I wish I'd done in my twenties. I like my own company. I do get lonely at times, especially as I'm living abroad on my own, but meeting friends for coffee and the odd night out is grand.

I have no advice really but just to say that you're not alone. I do hope to meet someone and maybe have kids, but actively 'looking' is something I just can't be bothered with. It feels forced and it doesn't make me happy, so I'm just ambling along for now.