Downstairs neighbour constantly banging on their ceiling but only normal house noise

ScottStorm

Definitely call in to them for a face to face, but if you are set on sending the letter, then be prepared to escalate and treat yourself to a trampoline and a threadmill for christmas.

Starokan

I would chance talking to them first , they could be sound enough and you might get on once you have a chance to chat.

I have lived in many apartment blocks, some very good and some shocking. Do you guys have the same landlord, if you do that's how I would try and resolve if talking does nothing.

Compromise is everything I think in blocks of apartments and flats, if wooden flooring is the issue slippers can help instead of boots and shoes, likewise they need to understand that when your kid is around you will never stop him playing and having fun, once they know its only once twice a week they will probably put up with it, if the noise is really bad not due to you but due to the flooring structure then the landlord needs to act, it may well be why his previous tenants left.

I get why you would not want to have a falling put but hopefully you do not need too. People do try and make life easier at times, I had it myself, I like music , I once had a neighbour knock, he explained that he had a son with mental issues and my music was really affecting him. I would never have it on late but even if played anyway loudly around 6-7pm it coincided with his child trying to sleep . I understand and got a pair of wireless headphones - problem solved. Its not always that easy but it can be

intheclouds

That letter is confrontational and full of assumption. How do you even know they are knocking up to tell you to keep the noise down? With what you describe a child standing and playing with play doh isn't making any noise so why assume the knocking is about noise? Could it be possible the knocking is something else entirely?

I think you should just go and speak to them. Knocking on ceilings, letters....seriously just knock in the door and say "hi I'm your upstairs neighbour! Just wondering if everything is ok because I've heard a knocking nose from your place and wasn't sure if it was directed at me? And if it was I'm not sure what you are trying to tell me?"

Clive Bisquette

intheclouds wrote: »

That letter is confrontational and full of assumption. How do you even know they are knocking up to tell you to keep the noise down? With what you describe a child standing and playing with play doh isn't making any noise so why assume the knocking is about noise? Could it be possible the knocking is something else entirely?

I think you should just go and speak to them. Knocking on ceilings, letters....seriously just knock in the door and say "hi I'm your upstairs neighbour! Just wondering if everything is ok because I've heard a knocking nose from your place and wasn't sure if it was directed at me? And if it was I'm not sure what you are trying to tell me?"

Yes read this thread ...and the above is the best advice in my opinion.

The real problem here is shoddy build and lack of sound proofing..but sure our brave developers have to pay for their Moet and helicopters someway !

I would be wary of anybody who bangs up constantly...it kinda indicates that they may have some ..uh..issues.

Civilised conversation and compromise may just not be in their social skill set !

How about knocking back? Say they knock three times, you do the same. If they only knock twice, so do you. etc...

Tarzana2

Clearlier wrote: »

N.B. The noise that you hear from your neighbours above may not be at the same level as what your neighbours experience.

What can the OP do about that though? He can ask the landlord is there anything that can be done but who wants to have to tiptoe around their own home?

OP, could you not just speak to them instead of sending a letter? Much less formal, and it's easier to get people onside that way, IMO.

nuckeythompson

Ignore them until they come up and politely discuss it with you

Turtle_

If you're going to send a note in you're being WAY too confrontational.

I'd be more inclined to say something more along the lines of:

Hi

This is X from the apartment above you. We've noticed a knocking noise coming from your apartment recently. Please feel welcome to call over for a chat any time after Xpm [insert days]. If there's a problem we're keen to find a solution.

Thanks,

Mr Upstairs.

You don't need to go into much detail - the ball is now in her court. It's up to her now to lay out what the problem is. In the mean time, if your kitchen cupboards bang, get those little dots that soften the close. Wear slippers in the house, don't slam doors, don't drag chairs across the floor etc. That's all you can do. If you go into her apartment and it's horrific noise, then you probably should put a bit of pressure on the LL to provide a decent underlay and carpet.

jeamimus

Wooden floors are a nightmare, if they're not properly insulated, as seems to be the case here.

I've been in the situation of these people downstairs and its not pleasant. Kids playing eg bouncing balls, running around etc is much worse downstairs than in the room where its happening.

The people downstairs are rude but they do have to endure this noise. However its neither of yours fault, its probably bad construction standards.

Put down some rugs and don't wear shoes indoors. If your kids are running around, try to let them do it in a part of the apartment where the sound will cause least nuisance.

Meet the guy downstairs and discuss things with him. If he understands that you also see things from his point of view and are doing your best he should be reassured. Notes are a bad idea and will not achieve anything useful.

the_pen_turner

your only option is to go down and have a chat.

find out why they are banging .

then offer to get someone to walk around and do daily jobs

then you can see if its normal noise or excessive.

if its normal noise then tell them to cop them selves on

if its excessive then get on to the land lord , but get them on side and go together to resolve this joint problem

Electric Sheep

I've been in the situation of the downstairs neighbors - it was hell. The upstairs tenants insisted there was no noise, but it was constant. Thank God they eventually moved, and lo, no child, no more problems.

I think it is kind of like the way parents don't notice their child screaming or making noise because they are so used to it. I swear I think they had a small trampoline there.

Apartment living (in the kind of poor quality apartments that are the norm in Ireland) is difficult if you live under an apartment with kids in it.

Turtle_

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I've been in the situation of the downstairs neighbors - it was hell. The upstairs tenants insisted there was no noise, but it was constant. Thank God they eventually moved, and lo, no child, no more problems.

I think it is kind of like the way parents don't notice their child screaming or making noise because they are so used to it. I swear I think they had a small trampoline there.

Apartment living (in the kind of poor quality apartments that are the norm in Ireland) is difficult if you live under an apartment with kids in it.

Yeah that's fine... Relevant to the OP one, sometimes two, days per week. The rest of the time it's two adults who are out at work all week.

April 73

I wouldn't send that letter. To me it reads as a mix between defensive & confrontational. "Entitled" isn't a good word to use in this context.
Much better to knock in & have a chat.

There was a thread on here a month or two ago started by InvisibleWoman - she had terrible trouble with noise from an upstairs apartment because of poor sound insulation between the apartments. What is normal living noise in one apartment can be magnified & amplified so it sounds like elephants dancing downstairs.

Better to have a chat first & see where it goes. Having a sound check in both apartments sounds like a good idea.

Clearlier

Tarzana2 wrote: »

What can the OP do about that though? He can ask the landlord is there anything that can be done but who wants to have to tiptoe around their own home?

Context is everything. I was commenting on the OP's proposed letter which mentioned that they understood how noisy the apartment must be because the neighbours above them also make noise.

It's not the fault of the OP or the neighbour if the sound insulation is terrible (I can't understand why wooden floors are allowed without specific sound insulation standards being met) however they are the ones that have to come to some kind of resolution and it may help if both can empathise with the other's position.

eladnova

Would this work? I know it's a little formal and tbh I wouldn't be in a rush to give out my phone number. Perhaps an email would be better.

Dear downstairs
In an effort to address noise issues from our apartment (number x) we are keen to meet neighbours who are affected and reach a positive outcome. Hopefully if we can present facts to our landlord, there may be the possibility of getting this resolved for everyone.
If you're free and can spare 5 minutes, please get in touch at 086 xxxx xxx

Regards
Upstairs

athtrasna

I wouldn't give a phone number, that's asking for trouble. To be honest I wouldn't send a letter, too easily misinterpreted. I think the OP needs to call down to the neighbour first and foremost.

faceman

dandroid89 wrote: »

I have just printed this out and will post it in their mailbox later.

Hello,
This is your neighbour from above.

We have noticed you are knocking on the ceiling regularly due obviously due to what you perceive to be us making noise purposely.
We are not doing anything other than walking around our apartment which we are very much entitled to do. On Friday I had my 3 year old son over who stays once a week, twice max. He was standing at the coffee table playing with play doh and you continued to knock up over and over again. I am not going to give out to him for walking around his Dad’s apartment.
This is becoming an issue that I think we need to address now. I have contacted my landlord and told him of the situation and asked him if there is anything we can do ie. Soundproofing etc.
Until he gets back to me with a solution… there is unfortunately nothing we can do to limit the noise on the floor. We have the same problem with our neighbours above so we do understand the situation and we would like to move forward without any difficulty or issues.

Warm regards,
----

I am at a loss as to why they have not knocked in although its easy to say not to change anything until they speak to me they are bugging the absolute hell out of me.

DON'T SEND THAT LETTER!

You are making assumptions here about the issue. Your first step is to knock on their door and ASK them about the knocking they are doing. Right now, the only person who has a known issue is you, as their knocking is causing you a disturbance and nuisance. You are only assuming that their knocking is related to your noise.

In the vast majority of cases like this, assuming they do have an issue with noise, is resolved by having a conversation first.

eladnova

athtrasna wrote: »

I wouldn't give a phone number, that's asking for trouble. To be honest I wouldn't send a letter, too easily misinterpreted. I think the OP needs to call down to the neighbour first and foremost.

Agree. Scrap the phone number I mentioned.

The reason people are suggesting a letter as the first point of contact is because you get to set the tone. Helpful, concerned, friendly. Whatever ....
Calling down unannounced doesn't give the neighbour time to react. Their default might be to assume you're there to cause problems They could go on the defensive or it might not simply be a convenient time.

And let's face it, if they really wanted a face to face they wouldn't be resorting to a brush against the ceiling.

Just my 5 cents.

Seanachai

OP I live in a period house split up into flats, you can't hear anything from the neighbours either side but I can hear everything from footsteps to phone conversations and the odd groan from the woman above me. I say woman, it sounds more like a pony or boar is up there they way she seems to move furniture around (why?) and stomps from one side of the flat to the other. There was a woman there before her and you would barely know she was there.

For the past two years I have had to wake up at 6.30 every morning, if I'm having a lie-in I'm up at that time and then I try to get back to sleep. During Ramadan I also have to wake up for the prayer schedule as she's a Muslim. I stay because the rent is very reasonable and were I to move I would be paying at least €200 more a month in Dublin.

From speaking to friends they are in similar situations even in new builds, for some reason in this country, builders don't do soundproofing. Having worked in construction this doesn't surprise me as a lot of the them are chancers who just want to slap the houses up for a quick profit.

April 73

eladnova wrote: »

Would this work? I know it's a little formal and tbh I wouldn't be in a rush to give out my phone number. Perhaps an email would be better.

Dear downstairs
In an effort to address noise issues from our apartment (number x) we are keen to meet neighbours who are affected and reach a positive outcome. Hopefully if we can present facts to our landlord, there may be the possibility of getting this resolved for everyone.
If you're free and can spare 5 minutes, please get in touch at 086 xxxx xxx

Regards
Upstairs

This sounds like you are aware you are creating a noise problem & affecting loads of neighbours.

Cuddlesworth

Seanachai wrote: »

From speaking to friends they are in similar situations even in new builds, for some reason in this country, builders don't do soundproofing. Having worked in construction this doesn't surprise me as a lot of the them are chancers who just want to slap the houses up for a quick profit.

That's usually wrong, most apartments are soundproofed adequately. The problem in Ireland is the trend towards wooden floors and tiles in apartments, usually badly fitted on uneven floors. In reality apartments should be Lino and carpet exclusively.

Most places even have a no wooden floors in their policies but that is never enforced.

Seanachai

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

That's usually wrong, most apartments are soundproofed adequately. The problem in Ireland is the trend towards wooden floors and tiles in apartments, usually badly fitted on uneven floors. In reality apartments should be Lino and carpet exclusively.

Most places even have a no wooden floors in their policies but that is never enforced.

They may be now but I know from my time working in construction as a plasterer from 2004-2008 that most of the new build houses I worked on had awful soundproofing. Even when they were finished you could hear a kettle being boiled in the adjacent house, my brother is a sparks and he was in an attic in a development that's being marketed as being high quality and there was only one wall between the houses in the attic. He could also hear people talking in the adjacent house when he was downstairs. We're not great at enforcing regulations in this country, there's a lot of nod-nod, wink-wink stuff that goes on especially down the country to get houses up fast (and cheap).

dandroid89

I did not send the letter yet...I did however ring my landlord and leave a voice message so I am waiting on him to call me back before I decide what to do next.

I know it is easy to say - go down and knock in but what if they are lunatics?. It doesn't bode well they constantly have some kind of stick in their hand to knock up with. No knocks last night anyways so hopefully they have chilled out a bit..

eviltimeban

dandroid89 wrote: »

I did not send the letter yet...I did however ring my landlord and leave a voice message so I am waiting on him to call me back before I decide what to do next.

I know it is easy to say - go down and knock in but what if they are lunatics?. It doesn't bode well they constantly have some kind of stick in their hand to knock up with. No knocks last night anyways so hopefully they have chilled out a bit..

If you saw the woman before you might be able to tell if she would be a lunatic or not... maybe. I agree, the letter should either be really light in tone (like someone had written as a suggestion) or not sent at all. A quick drop in might be best, as you can just go "oh hi, I've heard some banging from your apartment and wanted to check you were OK?" Be friendly and extend a hand to shake etc. You never know, they might be decent folk and just driven mad with noise, especially if they got used to no one being there.

I live beside a house which is empty 90% of the time, but when the woman is back the difference is noticeable - washing machine, hoover, TV noises... if it was there all the time I wouldn't notice it.

intheclouds

dandroid89 wrote: »

I know it is easy to say - go down and knock in but what if they are lunatics?. It doesn't bode well they constantly have some kind of stick in their hand to knock up with. No knocks last night anyways so hopefully they have chilled out a bit..

Oh my god. Are you an adult? They are clearly taking the passive aggressive route so unlikely they are looking for any kind of confrontation at all.

When you are mature enough to rent somewhere with your own money you need to also be mature enough to call in to speak to someone about perceived problems.

I wonder are you projecting onto these people how you would react if you were approached about something? Most people will respond well to a reasonable tone and a friendly disposition. You get more out of people with sugar than you ever do with vinegar.

dandroid89

intheclouds wrote: »

Oh my god. Are you an adult? They are clearly taking the passive aggressive route so unlikely they are looking for any kind of confrontation at all.

When you are mature enough to rent somewhere with your own money you need to also be mature enough to call in to speak to someone about perceived problems.

I wonder are you projecting onto these people how you would react if you were approached about something? Most people will respond well to a reasonable tone and a friendly disposition. You get more out of people with sugar than you ever do with vinegar.

Excuse me? I absolutely am always reasonable and the whole point of this whole thread is to find a way for me to speak to them without sounding confrontational at all.

It is a very valid point that they may react badly if I call at their door. Some people see that alone as an act of aggression. If they knocked on my door I would not view it that way but as it stands they haven't. In fact it would save me an awful lot of bother if they did because I have understood why they are banging up in the first place....there just is not much I can do about it.

dandroid89

intheclouds wrote: »

I wonder are you projecting onto these people how you would react if you were approached about something?.

By not responding?

Mezcita

dandroid89 wrote: »

Excuse me? I absolutely am always reasonable and the whole point of this whole thread is to find a way for me to speak to them without sounding confrontational at all.

It is a very valid point that they may react badly if I call at their door. Some people see that alone as an act of aggression. If they knocked on my door I would not view it that way but as it stands they haven't. In fact it would save me an awful lot of bother if they did because I have understood why they are banging up in the first place....there just is not much I can do about it.

All if's and buts to be honest. If they slam the door in your face you can go from there. But letters (however well worded they might be) are very easy to misinterpret.

Call down and see what happens.

intheclouds

dandroid89 wrote: »

Excuse me? I absolutely am always reasonable and the whole point of this whole thread is to find a way for me to speak to them without sounding confrontational at all.

It is a very valid point that they may react badly if I call at their door. Some people see that alone as an act of aggression. If they knocked on my door I would not view it that way but as it stands they haven't. In fact it would save me an awful lot of bother if they did because I have understood why they are banging up in the first place....there just is not much I can do about it.

An act of aggression to ring someone's doorbell? Are you serious? Most people do not turn into raving lunatics when someone rings ther doorbell. The way to speak to someone without being confrontational is to speak to them, and not be confrontational. Don't use words like "entitled", don't be accusatory. Smile, be friendly, ask them if everything is ok or are they trying to get your attention because you heard some knocking.

You seem to have a lot of excuses about a very simple first step that you can take. Don't you think they'd appreciate a friendly call in from a neighbour showing he is concerned in case they are trying to tell him something?

athtrasna

Mod note

Intheclouds and dandroid89 please take your disagreement to Pm if you wish to continue, a key rule of this website is "attack the post not the poster ". Thanks