Settling Newborn

billiejosie

Hi All,

I'm sure this has been asked a thousand times, i'm just a bit sleep deprived!

We have a week old baby, and she just does not want to settle after feeding. Sometimes we are lucky and she falls asleep while drinking her bottle, but if not, that's where the fun begins.

She sleeps in a Moses basket, there doesn't seem to be any big problem there. Its just when it comes to putting her down, if shes still awake, or she wakes herself up after a few minutes, she starts crying.

I know she's very young, so I was just looking for reassurance/advise from people to know this will pass!!

bp

At that age most aren't great sleepers. Would you try a soother? A piece of mammys clothing on the mattress.

How is the temperature in the room? Could they have wind/ reflux?

My youngest had awful colic so was very upset after feeds. Tell your public health nurse at 2 week visit and tag team with partner or get a friend/ family member to help.

Also remember this whole being out the of the womb is very new and scarey, love, cuddles and assurance is what they need.

You cannot spoil a new born and they cannot "learn" to settle themselves until after 16 weeks....Just do what feels best and natural. I wish I had with my first

brevity

She might need to fall asleep in your arms first. That's what ours was like.

Try putting a warm blanket in the Moses basket, make sure she is swaddled (this fools them into thinking they are in your arms) and playing some whale sounds...that's what I did and it seemed to work.

Whale sounds link:
https://youtu.be/savCAd6RyPI

Zadkiel

As above really.
I'd make sure she's well winded then settle her in your arms and put her down.
Make sure she's warm enough, for a room that's 18-20 degrees she should have six layers, so vest babygrow and four layers of cellular blanket ( or two blankets folder in half).
If she has reflux, hold her upright for about 10-15 minutes after she's winded, you can also raise the head of the crib by an inch, we were advised this by our midwife and the public health nurse and it made an big difference.

Oh and congratulations, this is an amazing time. Cherish every minute

tinkerbell

She's just a tiny newborn. The world is scary to her - for nine months she has been rocked to sleep in your belly from you walking around and getting on with your day. Of course she's gonna start crying if you put her down awake or if she wakes up in a Moses basket - she just wants cuddles from her mom. Just hold her and rock her to sleep in your arms and put her in the basket then. Babies don't self settle at that age. Congratulations by the way

lazygal

Have a read on the fourth trimester. My second child couldn't be left alone for weeks. It was tedious at the time as he wanted to be on me all the time, but they're so tiny and getting used to the world. They need the constant contact they had in utero and to adjust to all the noise of the outside world.

billiejosie

Thanks everyone for replying. Just trying to get used to the new way of life for such a little person is very daunting!

tinkerbell

Yeah I second fourth trimester - definitely read up on it. Just keep your baby close, they need it.

lazygal

billiejosie wrote: »

Thanks everyone for replying. Just trying to get used to the new way of life for such a little person is very daunting!

You can't cuddle them enough. Don't listen to any rubbish about forming bad habits or spoiling them. Loads of cuddle time is what they need.

Zadkiel

lazygal wrote: »

You can't cuddle them enough. Don't listen to any rubbish about forming bad habits or spoiling them. Loads of cuddle time is what they need.

This 100%
It's reassurance. if you were able to do skin to skin when your little one was born, she will find it very comforting to be held close to you where she can feel your warmth and listen to your heart. I also read that at her age its not really possible to form bad habits.
It's only really later that this would arise.
Apart from the benefits to baby from all the cuddles you can look at it selfishly too...who doesnt feel better cuddling their beautiful baby?!

Dont be afraid to have plenty noise going in the background during the day too. The womb is a noisy place for a baby and so are hospitals. Get a white noise app for your phone or throw on the washing machine/dish washer

LegacyUser

Ditto above.The first six weeks (at least) there's just no point in trying to make a baby settle in it's crib.Do what works.Try swaddling, make sure the rooom is warm, rock her, walk around with her (walk around with them wrapped up warm coz the heat knocks them out a bit!), try a soother, make sure she's well-winded...all worth a go, they may or may not work!As she gets bigger you can work on the routine and stuff but for now, just roll with it I'm afraid.
There's a reason they say 'sleep when the baby sleeps' :-). And hang on in there.It WILL pass.

Penny Dreadful

minichef wrote: »

Ditto above.The first six weeks (at least) there's just no point in trying to make a baby settle in it's crib.Do what works.Try swaddling, make sure the rooom is warm, rock her, walk around with her (walk around with them wrapped up warm coz the heat knocks them out a bit!), try a soother, make sure she's well-winded...all worth a go, they may or may not work!As she gets bigger you can work on the routine and stuff but for now, just roll with it I'm afraid.
There's a reason they say 'sleep when the baby sleeps' :-). And hang on in there.It WILL pass.

All of this AND a clean dry bum.

madeinamerica

congrats! sounds like you are doing a great job with your little one already. Yep, the first while is a bit nuts and I know I found it overwhelming at times, it was just so constant! But it does pass Until it does, the points from the previous posters are very useful, especially that you can't spoil babies that young and they have a need to feel held and safe. We found swaddling great for our little man, kept him all cosy and also stopped him from hitting himself in the face and waking himself up. Enjoy!

Intothesea

Hi there. It's true that babs can't self-sooth until about 7 or 8 months. I survived this time by developing a rock-that-cannot-fail After a bit of experimentation I found that this was a compound rock. That is, you rock at a comfortable speed from left to right, (playing gentle baby-music helps keep the beat, and your baby will show you what pleases him/her over time) but interpolate a quicker regular rhythm over the top, by 'jiggling' baby up and down as you move from side to side. The more regular the rhythms are in relation to each other, the greater the snooze effect (I used this with twins).

For example, 'Rock a bye baby' has a waltz beat (3), so that gives 1 'down' beat where you swoop baby downwards a little, and 2 up beats, so baby is jiggled upwards slightly twice on the beats, all as you rock from side to side.

I hope this makes sense. As for placing into the cot, this can be achieved once babs has fallen into a not-very-deep sleep (the deeper it is, the more irregular movement will cause him to wake). The aim is to slow the rock down to zero (the size of the rock from side to side, but keeping the same number of jiggles, but making them smaller with time) over time, say, a couple of minutes, coming to a stop just as you're leaning down over the bed.

Good luck, I'm sure you can crack this, it just takes a little bit of testing

poconnor16

All of the above - and it will get easier and better. Don't be afraid to reach out about anything if you are unsure, to your doc, your PHN, friends....it's very tough, they don't come with manuals!! My second one is 8 weeks old, we went though 6 weeks of 4 hours crying a night over what seemed like nothing....it's getting easier now. When the going gets tough just remember - fed? Changed? Winded? Yes? Then pick up and cuddle. Soon they won't fit in your arms anymore

billiejosie

Thanks all for your replies she is only 2 weeks old now but any slight pattern we had before is gone well out the window!

I was up with her at 12:30 til 3am trying to feed and get her back to sleep, up again at 4 til 5:30 am and back up at 6 until 7:30 am. Got until 9:15 and then got her down at 10.30 (an hour ago) and I can already see she's starting to wake. I'm shattered!!

LegacyUser

Awwww billiejosie....shes only 2 weeks.The only routine that enters at this stage is the feeding times.Unfortunately all else is chaos!!I really feel for you, I actually have photos of ours at 4 am in the morning, wide awake at ten days old.I remember sleeping for a half hour here and half hour there on the sofa whenever she slept in the pram.She wouldn't settle in her moses basket for the first three weeks....they all have their little quirks.There's very very little you can do right now except roll with it.The first six weeks
are really a grind, they are hard hard work. But it
will pass...the biggest lesson you get from
those first six weeks is that nothing lasts
forever.Hang on in there and get everyone you
know to cook you dinner :-)

lazygal

billiejosie wrote: »

Thanks all for your replies she is only 2 weeks old now but any slight pattern we had before is gone well out the window!

I was up with her at 12:30 til 3am trying to feed and get her back to sleep, up again at 4 til 5:30 am and back up at 6 until 7:30 am. Got until 9:15 and then got her down at 10.30 (an hour ago) and I can already see she's starting to wake. I'm shattered!!

There's no patterns at all during this time! Relax and enjoy the fuzzy stage.

mirrorwall14

Have you a side on cot? We got the next 2 me at 3 weeks old and it was a total godsend. Saved me during that period. Fall aslee on me then roll him into the next 2 me

Intothesea

Hello again. Time for me to make another against-the-grain posting on this

It is absolutely possible to set up a sleeping/waking cycle with your babs, it just takes a little patience and investment. When successful you will reap many rewards, that I can assure you!

The standard way to introduce structure is to pick about a 3 hour cycle to base things on. At this super early stage I suppose you could wait til week 6 or so, but there is nothing to prevent you setting it up now.

Start on an hour that works for you when you follow it for 18 hours -- in the middle of the night your partner can give a feed, giving you a whole 6-hour break.

The sequence is exactly what you'd expect: feed baby, burp, cuddle etc., put back to sleep.

In general babs will get used to this very quickly because his little belly wakes him up bang on every three hours -- and he's falls asleep on a regular basis as well.

Of course this will be affected when cluster feeding hits, but with a system like this, it's easy to get back on track because the system is now natural to the bab.

There are many received pieces of wisdom about baby sleep issues that leave you in a heap for months that are not even necessarily true. Without the ability to sleep for 6 hours at night when my twins were very young I would been a real real goner

Anyway, hope that helps.

How Strange

I recommend a side cot too but also realistic expectations (they have no concept of routine at 3 weeks), patience and sleep when the baby sleeps as much as you can. Everything falls into place eventually but *most* newborns won't sleep for long stretches at that age.

It does get easier and it changes by the week. I remember it was quite tough going at that stage with my 2.