Breastfeeding Mom in restaurant stare off...

Fleawuss

Deleted User wrote: »

Why is this a news story? Remember when "going viral" actually used to mean something online?

It meant and means that it got a lot of views and reposts.

steddyeddy

seamus wrote: »

She's really just making the point that some idiot was trying to shame her in public and she was having none of it, because being offended by something is not a good reason to force someone else to change their behaviour.

Should she have been more discreet? No. It's a woman feeding her child? What's the problem?

If a woman wants to be discreet about it, then she should be discreet about it. If a woman is happy enough to just whip her whole top off and breastfeed, then she should do that.

Anyone who has a problem with either should just go fnck themselves.

She probably wasn't even been stared at. Also she hated being stared at so much she put her picture on people.com.

She also inferred motive from the alleged staring person. There's really nothing to be determined from societal attitudes from this piece.

Fleawuss

It looks as if she was looking for the challenge. Bit like the "open carry" people on you tube. Does she expect people to be in awe of the fact that she's a mum? Has a child? Is breastfeeding? Why would anyone give a ****?

One eyed Jack

Azalea wrote: »

But again, a screaming hungry baby isn't demanding their needs be accommodated in a public place where people will be disturbed by their screaming!

The "it's natural" is a silly argument I agree, because, as you say, so are lots of things. But it's necessary in public sometimes - those other natural things aren't necessary in public.

Of course it's necessary to feed a baby in public, but what's not necessary is to lob the whole tit out to do it. Simple preparations for these sorts of eventualities minimises any possible offence, unless of course a person feels a need to have their lifestyle choices validated by how much offense they can cause to other people around them.

Clearly in this case, in a restaurant full of people, one woman staring just wasn't enough, this woman doesn't do things by halves.

Penny Tration

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

If we're going to start on necessity then its not necessary to breastfeed your child in public either. You can bottle feed, either with breastmilk or formula.

Pretty much everything is a choice nowadays. We've evolved from huddling together in caves.


Choose to breastfeed by all means, but dont be surprised by other peoples reactions. People are odd, you're bound to encounter a couple of proper odd ones just leaving your house each day or better still, work in retail, they all come to you :-)

It's not exactly easy to gauge when your baby will start screaming for a feed though, and it's legal to breastfeed, so why not? Breast milk is also better for the baby, and it's what breasts are intended for.

Fcuking your missus in public is illegal. Breastfeeding isn't, because breasts aren't just sexual organs, their primary use is to feed.

Guy:Incognito

steddyeddy wrote: »

She probably wasn't even been stared at..

It was probably one of those situations like where you see someone waving at you, wave back then realise they were waving at someone behind you . The person was probably daydreaming.:)

jimdublin15

Deleted User wrote: »

...so some woman in a restaurant in the States was breast feeding her child in a restaurant, claims she saw someone staring at her, and began to stare back defiantly. And if course handily it was snapped and did the rounds on the inane sites like Her.ie where she was heralded as some champion of women's or mother's lib...

http://www.people.com/article/mom-breastfeeding-uncovered-photo-viral

Was she striking a blow for mothers? Or should she be a little more discreet? Or does the whole thing seem a little staged to gain an internet presence?

I mean at the end of the day she got a look from someone across the cafe out of a whole cafe 1 person looks at her and she goes into drama mode. Seriously, someone disproved so what, no reason to melt down.

My two kids got breastfed, to be honest we never had any problems and fed them in public, then again my than wife was feeding a baby and we were not out to make a point about it, so I'm really not sure what the fuzz is about. I have to be honest my gut instinct is it's just a few mum's looking for or seeking additional attention - Look at me types, the world is against me, eek someone disagreed with me, end of the world drama bunch.

I happened to read the story you linked earlier this week on FB as It was posted to the Free to feed FB page and I was reading up following a story about the Primark case they were involved with.

This breastfeeding group and it's members have been been shot down before, they were quick to allow mum's and the public on FB & Twitter to to call on Primark to fire a security guy, and pressured Primark, as they made allegations that the security guy was supposedly stopping them from feeding. However the same group where slow to apologize to Primark, and in the end did not apologize at all to the guy Mr. Mahomad XYZ (Ill leave his last name out) when it turned out the story was utterly fabricated and the group tried to distance themselves from the story and mum in question.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/12030648/Primark-breastfeeding-ban-liar-Caroline-Starmer-avoids-prison.html

Guy:Incognito

Penny Tration wrote: »

It's not exactly easy to gauge when your baby will start screaming for a feed though, and it's legal to breastfeed, so why not? Breast milk is also better for the baby, and it's what breasts are intended for.

Fcuking your missus in public is illegal. Breastfeeding isn't, because breasts aren't just sexual organs, their primary use is to feed.

Yes but its perfectly natural , so shouldnt be. If nature wanted genitals to be covered, we should have been born with clothes on.

Neyite

Meh. It looks staged to be honest. And actually pulling your boob over the neckline of your top instead of pulling up the waistline is more uncomfortable but probably more obvious that way. Doing it the way that most other women do, wouldn't get her nearly enough of the attention that she seems to be craving.

I breastfed for a year, didn't hide away but didn't exactly whip them out either. I've never had a thing said to me or got looks from anyone. I'd be fully supportive (heh) of women not being embarrassed or ashamed to feed in public but this wan looks as though she was doing it because she was spoiling for a fight or wanted lots of support on her FB and to be told what an amazing mother she is for breastfeeding. I'd roll my eyes if I saw that in a cafe, not because she got her tit out, but because she is acting like a tit.

Penny Tration

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Yes but its perfectly natural , so shouldnt be. If nature wanted genitals to be covered, we should have been born with clothes on.

It's perfectly natural to be unable to control your sexual urges and to instead fcuk someone in a restaurant? Nope.. whereas it IS natural for a baby to not have the self control to deal with hunger til it gets home.

The woman is clearly attention seeking, but to liken a baby needing to be fed to your voyeuristic/exhibitionist sexual proclivities is just ridiculous.

Fleawuss

One eyed Jack wrote: »

this woman doesn't do things by halves.

Clearly she does.



She got only one tit out. :pac:

osarusan

One eyed Jack wrote: »

but what's not necessary is to lob the whole tit out to do it.

How do you know? In the case of this particular woman, how do you know?

A huge amount is being made about the fact that she exposed so much of her breast, but it might simply be what is most comfortable for her/her baby.

All these assumptions (from you and others) coming from just that one thing.

Penny Tration

osarusan wrote: »

How do you know? In the case of this particular woman, how do you know?

A huge amount is being made about the fact that she exposed so much of her breast, but it might simply be what is most comfortable for her/her baby.

All these assumptions (from you and others) coming from just that one thing.

As Neyite pointed out, it's a lot more uncomfortable to yank a top down, pull your boob up and rest it on straining fabric than to just pull your top up a bit.

osarusan

Penny Tration wrote: »

As Neyite pointed out, it's a lot more uncomfortable to yank a top down, pull your boob up and rest it on straining fabric than to just pull your top up a bit.

For every woman everywhere? Any woman who pulls down their top is therefore doing so for attention?

That is just silly.

Penny Tration

osarusan wrote: »

For every woman everywhere? Any woman who pulls down their top is therefore doing so for attention?

That is just silly.

Putting words into my mouth is equally silly.


I never said any woman who pulls down her top to feed is doing it for attention. I also clearly said that I don't give a damn how someone chooses to feed. Whatever suits mum and baby is what matters.

To have your photo taken while you're intently staring at someone instead of focusing on feeding your baby, then plastering it all over the internet though? Yup, attention seeking

LETHAL LADY

Nothing wrong with breastfeeding and good luck to anyone that can do it, I never could ,but do know what gets on my wick is when some first time mums, like this drama queen, suddenly become an authority on everything baby. Pop out a few more sprogs and you'll have feck all time to be worrying about some eejit looking at you.

steddyeddy

osarusan wrote: »

For every woman everywhere? Any woman who pulls down their top is therefore doing so for attention?

That is just silly.

You cannot equate a woman breastfeeding with a woman with a woman posting an article about a person staring at her.

osarusan

Penny Tration wrote: »

Putting words into my mouth is equally silly.

You have no problem putting words into the mouth of the breastfeeding mother in question though, or ascribing motives at least.

Penny Tration wrote: »

I never said any woman who pulls down her top to feed is doing it for attention.

So is there something about this particular woman that makes you think so? It was, after all, an argument you made/agreed with.

Penny Tration wrote: »

To have your photo taken while you're intently staring at someone instead of focusing on feeding your baby, then plastering it all over the internet though? Yup, attention seeking

Do you not think there is a difference between looking for attention through the act of breastfeeding, which is what you have already said, and looking for attention through a response to (apparently) somebody else's negative reaction to your breasfeeding?

The evidence for the latter is right in front of us, but the evidence for the former seems to centre on how much of her breast was exposed.

tayto lover

That child will never eat all that.

One eyed Jack

osarusan wrote: »

How do you know? In the case of this particular woman, how do you know?

A huge amount is being made about the fact that she exposed so much of her breast, but it might simply be what is most comfortable for her/her baby.

All these assumptions (from you and others) coming from just that one thing.

It's absolutely not just an assumption that a woman doesn't have to lob the whole tit out to breastfeed. The baby is only attached to the nipple, not the whole breast, and it would actually be more comfortable for her to pull up her top, and not restrict the breast, than pull up her breast over the neckline of her top or whatever way she's trying to breastfeed there.

Personally, I wouldn't care either way if she wanted to yank off the top at all, because she might have to switch breasts anyway during feeding, and is she gonna try and get 'em both out over the neckline, or just use the more efficient method of pulling up her top for one breast at a time that's more comfortable and more discreet.

In the case of this particular woman, it's exactly what she wants is all the attention focused on this particular woman, rather than making any point about encouraging social acceptance of breastfeeding. It's pretty much socially acceptable already. What's not so socially acceptable is just whipping them out in public just for the sake of it to draw attention to themselves.

There are plenty of women manage to breastfeed in public and don't even notice anyone staring, because they're more concerned about feeding their baby than they are about whether anyone is staring at them or not.

Penny Tration

osarusan wrote: »

You have no problem putting words into the mouth of the breastfeeding mother in question though, or ascribing motives at least.



So is there something about this particular woman that makes you think so? It was, after all, an argument you made/agreed with.


Do you not think there is a difference between looking for attention through the act of breastfeeding, which is what you have already said, and looking for attention through a response to (apparently) somebody else's negative reaction to your breasfeeding?

The evidence for the latter is right in front of us, but the evidence for the former seems to centre on how much of her breast was exposed.

the woman's actions are what makes me agree with the argument that she's seeking attention. Not only does she take out her entire breast, which is fair enough if that's what's comfortable (don't see how it can be), but to stare someone down while doing it? That's blatant attention seeking. She spent her time staring at a stranger rather than focusing on feeding her child.

ThinkProgress

It's easy enough to forget that breastfeeding is actually a form of cannibalism!

Really surprised that point hasn't come up yet. You're all off your game tonight people... :rolleyes:

osarusan

Penny Tration wrote: »

the woman's actions are what makes me agree with the argument that she's seeking attention. Not only does she take out her entire breast, which is fair enough if that's what's comfortable (don't see how it can be), but to stare someone down while doing it? That's blatant attention seeking. She spent her time staring at a stranger rather than focusing on feeding her child.

'The woman's actions' is a bit vague. Could you be a bit more specific?


What makes you think it is more likely that the woman actually breastfed her baby in a way that would get her the attention she wanted*, rather than getting the attention she wanted through taking a picture of her response to some stranger staring at her?

*Considering you have already accepted that how she is breastfeeding in the picture might simply be the way that is most comfortable for her.

Gaygooner

People are such prudes. I love nudist beaches free and easy and no one bats an eyelid

She was feeding her baby ffs

slogging...it

Free topless woman ya may aswell, cause you'll be objectifying them if ya pay ta see a bita tit

slogging...it

slogging...it wrote: »

Free topless woman ya may aswell, cause you'll be objectifying them if ya pay ta see a bita tit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOfI48IWESo Have a bit of bitty

EazyD

The only thing I'm seeing here is that she's an attention seeking airhead. Plenty of women breastfeed in public and show due consideration without issue.

One eyed Jack

Gaygooner wrote: »

People are such prudes. I love nudist beaches free and easy and no one bats an eyelid

She was feeding her baby ffs

Some people are far too quick to judge other people as prudes. This woman wasn't on a nudist beach, which would have nothing to do with where or how she chose to feed her baby anyway.

One of the most common mistakes women make when breastfeeding is that they think it's necessary to expose the whole breast while breastfeeding, and I'd imagine that's what puts them off the idea more than anything, because most women don't want to be exposing their breasts in public.

The easiest and most convenient way to do it is simply to pull up their top and expose the nipple, without exposing the whole breast, particularly if they haven't remembered to bring breast milk in a bottle beforehand. It's standard practice for anyone with babies that they prepare beforehand - nappies, milk, etc.

On a side-note, while I'd have no problem with a baby being breastfed in public, I would hope that a person would have enough consideration for other people that they wouldn't lob the baby up on the table in front of them because the baby necessarily needs changing!

Canadel

EazyD wrote: »

The only thing I'm seeing here is that she's an attention seeking airhead. Plenty of women breastfeed in public and show due consideration without issue.

You really should explain this part as it makes no sense as a standalone remark.

Uncle Ben

Canadel wrote: »

You really should explain this part as it makes no sense as a standalone remark.

Can't see any problem with women getting their tits out. I'm sure I speak for a lot of men in asking for more women to follow soothe.

moneymad

Kind of reminds me of the knobs who cycle around wearing those helmet cams looking for trouble.
Nice tits !:)

Canadel

Uncle Ben wrote: »

Can't see any problem with women getting their tits out.

There is a problem with it, but it absolutely does not lie with the women getting their tits out.

nxbyveromdwjpg

seamus wrote: »

Should she have been more discreet? No. It's a woman feeding her child? What's the problem?

If a woman wants to be discreet about it, then she should be discreet about it. If a woman is happy enough to just whip her whole top off and breastfeed, then she should do that.

Anyone who has a problem with either should just go fnck themselves.

And some other woman wants to stare at her tit, and this other woman won't be discreet either, cos you know.. if the breastfeeding woman has a problem with the staring, she can go f*ck herself too.

See.. we don't get far with that attitude, right or wrong.

This photo is staged btw. Load of bollox.

wyndham

Lovely bit of squirrel.

EazyD

Canadel wrote: »

You really should explain this part as it makes no sense as a standalone remark.

A standalone remark that applies to pretty much every facet of civilised society. Most rational people are tolerant and accepting of breastfeeding in public, what I and many other posters are pointing out is that the woman in question is quite clearly going out of her way to cause a stir with this. Her main concern should be ensuring the baby is fed, not challenging other diners to a stare-off and posting it online for attention.

Canadel

EazyD wrote: »

A standalone remark that applies to pretty much every facet of civilised society. Most rational people are tolerant and accepting of breastfeeding in public, what I and many other posters are pointing out is that the woman in question is quite clearly going out of her way to cause a stir with this. Her main concern should be ensuring the baby is fed, not challenging other diners to a stare-off and posting it online for attention.

Who are you or anybody else to say what her main concern should be? You claim to be tolerant yet a lot of what you say suggests intolerance. Accusations of attention seeking could be applied to someone driving a flashy car, or wearing fashionable clothes. It's not a plausible argument and only exposes the true sentiment behind your words.

mynameis905

Canadel wrote: »

Who are you or anybody else to say what her main concern should be? You claim to be tolerant yet a lot of what you say suggests intolerance. Accusations of attention seeking could be applied to someone driving a flashy car, or wearing fashionable clothes. It's not a plausible argument and only exposes the true sentiment behind your words.

I agree with this. A lot of posters seem to realise that criticising the woman for breastfeeding in public isn't really going to fly anymore so they prefer to attack it from another angle and claim that the woman was attention-seeking or even more bizarrely, breastfeeding the wrong way. Seriously, over top feeding bad, under top feeding good? Are we that offended by the sight of the human body that seeing a few more inches of a breast is going to cause mass offence?

One eyed Jack

Canadel wrote: »

Who are you or anybody else to say what her main concern should be? You claim to be tolerant yet a lot of what you say suggests intolerance. Accusations of attention seeking could be applied to someone driving a flashy car, or wearing fashionable clothes. It's not a plausible argument and only exposes the true sentiment behind your words.

When someone does something in public, they are subjecting themselves to public opinion. That means anyone has a say as to what her main concern should be, because she gives them that opportunity when she does something in public. When she posts a picture of herself breastfeeding on social media and claims that she was being stared at, she is the person who is taking offence at someone staring at her. The person she claims was staring at her isn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

One eyed Jack

mynameis905 wrote: »

I agree with this. A lot of posters seem to realise that criticising the woman for breastfeeding in public isn't really going to fly anymore so they prefer to attack it from another angle and claim that the woman was attention-seeking or even more bizarrely, breastfeeding the wrong way. Seriously, over top feeding bad, under top feeding good? Are we that offended by the sight of the human body that seeing a few more inches of a breast is going to cause mass offence?

The problem for this woman is that there weren't enough people offended by her actions, so what better way to get attention for herself than have someone else take a photo of her staring at nobody in particular while she's breastfeeding her child in what looks like a contrived effort to gain the maximum attention possible.

I don't think there's any mass offense here, people can see right through her efforts really and that's why they're not offended by her choosing to breastfeed in public, but rather seeing that the way she went about it was just attention seeking.

mynameis905

One eyed Jack wrote: »

When someone does something in public, they are subjecting themselves to public opinion. That means anyone has a say as to what her main concern should be, because she gives them that opportunity when she does something in public. When she posts a picture of herself breastfeeding on social media and claims that she was being stared at, she is the person who is taking offence at someone staring at her. The person she claims was staring at her isn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

In reality, I'm staring into the eyes of a woman staring at me. She is looking at me with disgust and shaking her head with judgement in an attempt to shame me and indirectly tell me without words that I am wrong and need to cover myself.

Do you consider looking at someone with disgust and shaking their head to be acceptable?

Great use of language like 'claims' and 'The problem for this woman is that there weren't enough people offended by her actions' in your posting btw. Anything at all to discredit the breastfeeding woman, right?

Ave Sodalis

I think anyone eating should show some consideration for the people around them. I mean, they don't really have to show themselves eating, they should cover up a bit with a blanket so people don't have to be subjected to watching other people eat. Anyone who eats in public need are just attention seeking. Why can't people just discretely go into some corner to eat, or the bathroom or somewhere else? I mean, you have to be mindful of other peoples sensitivities when in public after all...

Look, I don't give a damn if women have to pull off their tops to breastfeed. The woman in the OP is probably making a mountain out of a molehill but this thread shows that her point is somewhat valid. If your argument can't be applied to normal eating, then you don't have an argument. They're just boobs being used for what they're made for, and I think it's an awful pity that due to people over sexualising things, it's somehow shameful/offensive to some people that a woman should have to feed a baby in the best way a baby can be fed. I think it's more a pity that people are defending the "poor" people who can't deal with the sight of a boob. Why can't a woman take out her boob to breastfeed withouy having to worry about not offending people? I don't mean telling everyone passing her that she's breatfeeding but if a baby is hungry, then there should be no problem with a woman taking out her breat without trying to cover it.

jimdublin15

mynameis905 wrote: »

Do you consider looking at someone with disgust and shaking their head to be acceptable?

Get it all the time, for other reasons I must say. Still someone disapproving or looking is no reason to have a utter spaz attack in life like this individual seems to have done.

In a cafe 1 person looked and disapproved - Oh no :eek:

mynameis905

mynameis905 wrote: »

Do you consider looking at someone with disgust and shaking their head to be acceptable?

Great use of language like 'claims' and 'The problem for this woman is that there weren't enough people offended by her actions' in your posting btw. Anything at all to discredit the breastfeeding woman, right?

If I was there, I'd be staring at her wondering why she got the boob out over the top of the teeshirt and not the much more comfortable option of the bottom!!!

EazyD

Canadel wrote: »

Who are you or anybody else to say what her main concern should be? You claim to be tolerant yet a lot of what you say suggests intolerance. Accusations of attention seeking could be applied to someone driving a flashy car, or wearing fashionable clothes. It's not a plausible argument and only exposes the true sentiment behind your words.

If the woman decides to behave as she did by staring someone down in public and post it on the internet then of course one would presume it was to gain attention towards herself or her so called "cause". I can have an opinion, as much as you yourself have and would perhaps not be too far off in suggesting that most people would agree that in this situation the woman was looking for confrontation. Is suggesting people show consideration for others intolerance? Of course not but do continue.

One eyed Jack

mynameis905 wrote: »

Do you consider looking at someone a woman with her whole breast out while breastfeeding with disgust and shaking their head to be acceptable?

Where is this woman that's looking at her with disgust and shaking her head?

Oh that's right, she's not pictured, at all!

Great use of language like 'claims' and 'The problem for this woman is that there weren't enough people offended by her actions' in your posting btw. Anything at all to discredit the breastfeeding woman, right?

It doesn't take anything to discredit someone when they don't present any evidence for their claims. How seriously would you like me to take them?

scamalert

what is exact issue here-woman looking at another womans tit ?what if it was man enjoying the view ? would that be be considered starring down,or would person would have to poke his eyes and look at ceiling before she finishes.
As only 1st world trouble i see here one is complaining about flashing here tit in public and getting attention.

ThinkProgress

Would breastfeeding in certain circumstances not be considered unhygienic?

Like in a restaurant/cafe... something like that? (Bodily fluids + food?)

Genuine question.

Ave Sodalis

ThinkProgress wrote:

Would breastfeeding in certain circumstances not be considered unhygienic?

Breast milk would be more sterile than a glass of cows milk.

MadsL

Alistair Disgusting Steakhouse wrote: »

'Merica... Look the one mistake people make in comparing us is that thinking we both speak English that they're like us, they're not.

They're a country of nutcases.. And for the record, I think this is just a stupid set up.

And she has a nice big boob.

And yet both countries have similar laws on breastfeeding. Oddly, the "country of nutcases" managed put this protection in place a good few years ahead of Ireland.

mynameis905

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Where is this woman that's looking at her with disgust and shaking her head?

Oh that's right, she's not pictured, at all!

This is what I said:

mynameis905 wrote: »

Do you consider looking at someone with disgust and shaking their head to be acceptable?

This is what you misquoted:

mynameis905 wrote: »

Do you consider looking at someone a woman with her whole breast out while breastfeeding with disgust and shaking their head to be acceptable?

For the record I have no problem with someone displaying their whole breast while feeding their child but please do not edit my post and then quote it to suit your own argument.