flirty texts ruining r'ship

LegacyUser

I don't know where to start..

About two weeks, my partner told me they'd been sending flirty texts to someone online, an ex-flame so to speak. It hurt me, it took time to process and take in but I love my partner so we drew a line in the sand, the texts were supposed to end, we'd move on.

Fast forward a few weeks, down in the partners, helping out with stuff, unwittingly seen that theyd been constantly messaging each other again. Over 200+ messages. I didnt click in, I just couldnt. I didnt know how to react, I continued on as normal til i got outta there. I called the 3rd party out over it, nothing extreme, just angry really.

I dont know what to do over my partner, I dont know how to possibly approach it. Im devastated over it, im madly in love, we'd big plans etc etc. I know it can't go on like this, I can't put up with these constant messages, the paranoia etc. Maybe they're banal messages but the fact it was admitted that they were flirty at first just makes me even more wary, my trust is destroyed. Feels like the last year has just gone down the drain

CaraMay

Why did you contact the 3rd party? Your issue is with your partner?!?!?

DeeMitch

Your gut is telling you something is not right here. Run, don't walk.

LegacyUser

to answer both..

1. I don't know. Anger, frustration, felt easier to confront them rather than my partner. The 3rd party knew about our relationship (As i said, an ex love interest), so they're not entirely blameless in it either.

2. my head says run too, my heart says stay, as I love her so so much, it would devastate me

Ursus Horribilis

I know you don't want to break up but what is the alternative? If you stick this out because you love your partner, the anger and paranoia is going to eat you up. To me, sending all those flirty texts is your partner being emotionally unfaithful. She hasn't put a stop to them either which says a lot about her and her thoughts on the relationship. If your partner had any respect for you or for the relationship, these texts would not be happening. That's the bottom line. You need to keep your heart out of this and think with your head.

Nervous Wreck

sad&disappointed wrote: »

The 3rd party knew about our relationship (As i said, an ex love interest), so they're not entirely blameless in it either.

They are entirely blameless. Though it may not be the most morally sound of actions, this person has no responsibility to you or your partner. They may not be the nicest person in the world but they have done nothing wrong in this situation. Your issue is with your partner; talk to/dump her. Your heart may be telling you to stay but, going by her actions, she obviously doesn't respect you all that much.