Toddler suddenly crying at bedtime.

Casm85

So my 17 month old girl as suddenly decided to cry hysterical at bedtime. She has always been great at going to sleep. We just put her in the cot and she would fall off to sleep by herself. For the last week or so she as soon as we put her down she screams. I've been soothing her and staying in her room tilll she eventually falls asleep. When she is is put down for her nap during the day she has no problem going off to sleep by herself. Tried pushing her bedtime back a bit but then she just gets overtired. Would love some advice from parents who have been there!!

celligraphy

Sorry to hear op , have you a nightlight for the little one at night for when she wakes up? I think they go through little phases especially if teething

bp

Try bed a little earlier maybe, if she is more active during the day she might be tired. Also it could be just a phase - mine go through them all the time

duckduck1991

soothing and staying in the room is the worse thing in my opinion. .My other half used to do all that she'd even rock them to sleep if they played up..I never agreed with it so didn't do it but when she finally got tired of doing it I suggested she try a different approach and leave them to cry...Within 15 or 20 mins their fast asleep

Casm85

duckduck1991 wrote:

soothing and staying in the room is the worse thing in my opinion. .My other half used to do all that she'd even rock them to sleep if they played up..I never agreed with it so didn't do it but when she finally got tired of doing it I suggested she try a different approach and leave them to cry...Within 15 or 20 mins their fast asleep

OH doesn't agree with soothing either, I have left her for about 20 mins but she just works herself into such a state then so it takes her longer to settle.

Casm85

celligraphy wrote:

Sorry to hear op , have you a nightlight for the little one at night for when she wakes up? I think they go through little phases especially if teething

I never thought of a night light. It's definitely a lot darker this weather when she's going to sleep so I think I'll try this Thanks.

Casm85

Casm85 wrote: »

as soon as we put her down she screams. I've been soothing her and staying in her room tilll she eventually falls asleep.

She's being rewarded for screaming. Young ones learn quickly.

BabysCoffee

What time are you putting her to bed?

Casm85

BabysCoffee wrote:

What time are you putting her to bed?

It's always been seven o clock, I have tried a later bedtime but she just seems overtired then.

BabysCoffee

7pm seems good to me!

Pawwed Rig

20 minutes seems like a long time to leave a child crying to me. 5-10 minutes would be enough time.

We normally stay with our little one until he goes to sleep.

mcbobbyb

We left ours to cry for over 30 mins. It was really hard but he went asleep and never had to do it again. In the long run it will be easier.

LegacyUser

I hover around the landing with our 17month old....her door is ajar and there is a lamp on on the landing.I usually empty the bath, put away clothes in our room, that sort of thing for maybe 15/20 minutes.Quietly enough that she can hear a bit of movement but not loud enough to disturb.
If she's crying or shrieking I'd go in every ten minutes or so, but no less than that.Sitting in the room with them is a disaster because you give them something to look at (you! :-) ),prolonging falling asleep.

Mink

We had same thing but it was an hour til he finally dropped off because he was actually distracted by me being in the room (he'd been previously getting himself to sleep grand). But then he'd wake up and I'd be standing in the dark for 2hrs trying to get him back to sleep. It was madness for all of us.

I followed the Supernanny thing - controlled crying, so you go into them after 2 mins, then 4, then 8, then every 8 mins. Reassuring them each time (but in a very non-stimulating way, ie no eye contact but patting their chest instead). I found out from my auntie that my mother used to do something similar with me & she taught my auntie to do it, ie going in and reassuring them but at the same time holding your ground and not staying in the room.

It's not for everyone but worked for us and he was asleep within 40 mins, then 2 mins of crying the next night and that was it. We've had sleep blips since then here and there obviously but it's nearly always phases and goes with time and we've not had to do it again.

There is another option, something like "no cry" method - along the lines of you stay in the room but each evening you are closer to the door til eventually you are out. Might take a few weeks to do.

bp

I controlled cried my first and personally regret it (I say personally as each child and parent is different). Used a sleep consultant for the second which involved staying in the room for the first few days and reassuring but less each time...worked a treat with him. Now I put down in cot and walk out (bar when teething).

Casm85

Mink wrote: »

We had same thing but it was an hour til he finally dropped off because he was actually distracted by me being in the room (he'd been previously getting himself to sleep grand). But then he'd wake up and I'd be standing in the dark for 2hrs trying to get him back to sleep. It was madness for all of us.

I followed the Supernanny thing - controlled crying, so you go into them after 2 mins, then 4, then 8, then every 8 mins. Reassuring them each time (but in a very non-stimulating way, ie no eye contact but patting their chest instead). I found out from my auntie that my mother used to do something similar with me & she taught my auntie to do it, ie going in and reassuring them but at the same time holding your ground and not staying in the room.

It's not for everyone but worked for us and he was asleep within 40 mins, then 2 mins of crying the next night and that was it. We've had sleep blips since then here and there obviously but it's nearly always phases and goes with time and we've not had to do it again.

There is another option, something like "no cry" method - along the lines of you stay in the room but each evening you are closer to the door til eventually you are out. Might take a few weeks to do.

Thanks a mill for this, I'm definitely going to try this tonight and for the next few nights. Sounds a lot less traumatic (for me) than letting her just cry it out.