I cheated on my girlfriend....I think?

Madowlegg

Okay before I start this I know being drunk isn't an excuse. I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months and there is nobody I love more, our relationship is great. I tend not to know my limits when drinking and get incredibly drunk to the point where I don't remember a lot of things.

Anyway, the other night I was fairly drunk as usual and I have some slight memory of me thinking I cheated on my girlfriend but I don't have any memory of doing so. This has been absolutely eating my conscious for the last week and I can't even talk to my girlfrend without feeling guilty. I'm afraid that I'll play it off like nothing had happened and then it will come back to bite me. I don't know what to do?

Utdfan20titles

Give up drinking for a start

AgileMyth

If you were so drunk you're not even sure it happened I'd not read to much into it. You need to address the way you drink though. That's the problem here.

dazed+confused

What you can't remember didn't happen.

Madowlegg

Also I usually overthink a lot of things when it comes to me being drunk. This time though I was fairly sure that I cheated. I feel absolutely awful

Penny Tration

Have you any people who were out with you who you could ask?

Either way, if drinking til you have no memory is something you do semi-regularly, you need to quit drinking.

trixychic

Madowlegg wrote: »

Okay before I start this I know being drunk isn't an excuse. I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months and there is nobody I love more, our relationship is great. I tend not to know my limits when drinking and get incredibly drunk to the point where I don't remember a lot of things.

Anyway, the other night I was fairly drunk as usual and I have some slight memory of me thinking I cheated on my girlfriend but I don't have any memory of doing so. This has been absolutely eating my conscious for the last week and I can't even talk to my girlfrend without feeling guilty. I'm afraid that I'll play it off like nothing had happened and then it will come back to bite me. I don't know what to do?

Why do you keep drinking if you are getting such bad results?? Learn your limit.

As for the rest I would ask round and see what happened and then talk to your gf. But you sound to have a serious drinking problem. Maybe try get help on that

Madowlegg

Penny Tration wrote: »

Have you any people who were out with you who you could ask?

Either way, if drinking til you have no memory is something you do semi-regularly, you need to quit drinking.

I don't think there is tbh. I'm giving up drinking from now on anyway. Would it be a stupid idea to say it to my girlfriend? Cause I honesly can't live with myself

trixychic

Madowlegg wrote: »

I don't think there is tbh. I'm giving up drinking from now on anyway. Would it be a stupid idea to say it to my girlfriend? Cause I honesly can't live with myself

Tell her. Without honesty there isn't trust and without trust there can be no relationship... that's my experience and opinion. Others may not sure.

Madowlegg

trixychic wrote: »

Tell her. Without honesty there isn't trust and without trust there can be no relationship... that's my experience and opinion. Others may not sure.

How would I even bring that up though. She'll think I'm mental...

bilbot79

Just forget about it

trixychic

Madowlegg wrote: »

How would I even bring that up though. She'll think I'm mental...

Sit her down and repeat this post.

Exclamation Marc

Why do you think you did if you have barely any memory of it?

On the balance of things, if you had to call it one way or the other, did you?

pgj2015

Don't say a word to your girlfriend op, you don't even know if you did it or not, your memory that you cheated could even be a dream you had that seems to be real. also stop drinking.

Madowlegg

Manufactured Miracle wrote: »

Why do you think you did if you have barely any memory of it?

On the balance of things, if you had to call it one way or the other, did you?

There's this one part of the night where I just remember thinking that I did. I would honestly say 50/50

Is there anyone you were out with that can confirm whether you did or not? Get your facts right before you say anything - if you tell her you did, but someone tells you that you didn't, then it would be pointless and.. well.. kind of make her worried that such a thing could potentially happen.

How often do you get that drunk?

Madowlegg

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Is there anyone you were out with that can confirm whether you did or not? Get your facts right before you say anything - if you tell her you did, but someone tells you that you didn't, then it would be pointless and.. well.. kind of make her worried that such a thing could potentially happen.

How often do you get that drunk?

I don't live in a big place, so I would of known a lot of people in the nightclub that night and would of been with a lot of different people. Not that often, probably once every two months.

Exclamation Marc

Madowlegg wrote: »

I tend not to know my limits when drinking and get incredibly drunk to the point where I don't remember a lot of things.

Anyway, the other night I was fairly drunk as usual...

Madowlegg wrote: »

I don't live in a big place, so I would of known a lot of people in the nightclub that night and would of been with a lot of different people. Not that often, probably once every two months.

Not trying to judge OP, but from your original post it sounds like it's an awful lot more than once every 8 weeks.

You should really look at reducing your alcohol consumption before you cause yourself serious harm.

Madowlegg

Madowlegg wrote: »

I don't live in a big place, so I would of known a lot of people in the nightclub that night and would of been with a lot of different people. Not that often, probably once every two months.

This is when you should go into crisis management mode and find out from those people if they saw anything. Realistically if you aren't from a big place, they'll know your girlfriend presumably. It'd be pretty easy for them to say it to her, if something did happen.

summer_chic

I would highly recommend that you get clarity on what happened before you think about telling your girlfriend. Any woman is going to want details, and you seem to just have a memory of thinking you cheated. What do you feel you did that qualified as cheating ? Do you know who it was with, where did it happen - these are questions you need to answer for yourself , and most likely your girlfriend. Unless you can, I would suggest you keep quiet, there's no point in hurting her unless you're certain it actually happened.

retro:electro

Normally I would be an advocate for telling her but since you can't even be sure if it happened im not sure it's the best thing to do. Try and forget about it now and instead focus your efforts on decreasing the alcohol intake and maybe look into why you seem to depend on it so much.

Madowlegg

summer_chic wrote: »

I would highly recommend that you get clarity on what happened before you think about telling your girlfriend. Any woman is going to want details, and you seem to just have a memory of thinking you cheated. What do you feel you did that qualified as cheating ? Do you know who it was with, where did it happen - these are questions you need to answer for yourself , and most likely your girlfriend. Unless you can, I would suggest you keep quiet, there's no point in hurting her unless you're certain it actually happened.

If something happened it was nothing more than a kiss that's for sure. It's just that it's eating at me and I don't think I could continue with my relationship if this is gonna be resting on my concious. I'm worried that if something did come from it that I wouldn't have any chance of forgiveness since she'd think I was hiding it from her.

LegacyUser

Madowlegg wrote: »

How would I even bring that up though. She'll think I'm mental...

I'm not a suspicious or paranoid person but honestly I think if someone told me that they had felt like they might have cheated but couldn't remember it at all I think i'd suspect that they knew they cheated and they knew they'd be seen by someone who was likely to tell me!

KungPao

1. Give up or reduce your alcohol intake
2. Forget about it and move on.

screamer

Madowlegg wrote: »

If something happened it was nothing more than a kiss that's for sure..

how can you be sure of that when you can't remember? You need to give up the booze my friend because if youre getting so drunk you can't remember what you did youre leaving yourself open for a lot more than kissing some strange girl and you might end up with a permanent reminder of a booze filled night that you can't deny.

pookie82

What do you *think* you did? A kiss, or sex?

Either way, if I was your gf and I heard "look I got really drunk and I think I cheated but can't be sure" that'd make me suspect you knew damn well you cheated but were trying to play it down. I'd want all the details and if you couldn't provide them I'd never trust you to drink again.

Sleepless and Manic

Madowlegg wrote: »

I tend not to know my limits when drinking and get incredibly drunk to the point where I don't remember a lot of things.

Anyway, the other night I was fairly drunk as usual

I'm no expert but isnt this what people with drink problems call The Fear?

Being wracked with guilt over what you may or may not have done after a black out.

Maybe instead of worrying about your GF so much, get yourself together and stop drinking so much. Then some time you can tell her about it.

secman

Where's the confusion coming from.... Did you wake up in bed with another girl and no jocks on..stuck to the sheet ? Or what !

Calypso Realm

Madowlegg wrote: »

There's this one part of the night where I just remember thinking that I did. I would honestly say 50/50

Did what exactly? You MUST know what you think you did!

SAMTALK

Madowlegg wrote: »

I don't live in a big place, so I would of known a lot of people in the nightclub that night and would of been with a lot of different people. Not that often, probably once every two months.

Theres a good chance that someone will let you know if you did....Or let your girlfriend know.
"as Usual"???? Maybe you need to cut down or give up if you get drunk every time you go out

irishgirl19

Op are you sure you just don't have the 'beer fear' and convinced yourself you may have done something out of paranoia?
I'd maybe quit drinking and keep mum on this one. Like the previous poster said if you tell your gf this she will most likely think you did cheat and you're intentionally holding back the details.
Is there anyone who was out with you that you can ask?

Edit: just to add I took from your op that maybe you just meant a kiss? If you think you went further with someone I would say it